Title: Abandoned
Summary: It was a word that described her to a T.
Paring: Sakura-centric, Sakura-team 7
Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort
Rating: Mild due to some course language
Disclaimer: Do not own Naruto

A·ban·doned adj
1. Left empty because of not being used or lived in anymore
2. Left alone without being cared for or supported
3. Without restraint or self-control

Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation.

Abandoned

Sakura looked at the word innocently written onto a page of her dictionary. She wondered what the person who discovered the word felt when they realized that, that was what they were. Did someone they love leave them? Was he or she left behind? Did they feel as if no one was there for them? Had they no other choice but to stand by and watch the backs of those who he or she cared for walk away? Were they left completely and utterly alone? Were they left broken and smashed into tiny little pieces with no one coming to help he or she pick up the pieces of their torn hearts and ripped apart lives?

If they did then Sakura had something in common with them.

She knew what it felt like to watch someone she loved-was still in love with-walk away from everything and everyone he knew, from Konoha, from his best friend-rival-brother who understood his loneliness, from Kakashi-sensei who saw so much of himself in him, and from her-his ex-fan girl, teammate, then friend, then the girl who was in love with him-with nothing but a messily thank you. She watched as Kakashi-sensei, who never really taught her anything or help her discover something about herself that she did not know except for the fact that she had perfect chakra control and those who abandoned their teammates were worse then trash, take up his ANBU uniform again because his favorite student was gone and he had no reason to be a sensei anymore. She watched as Naruto, who had so much hope and faith and believed in the fact that his love for his friends helped him become stronger everyday, blame himself for not being able to bring back his best friend-rival-brother but then left with Jiraiya-a legendary Sannin, the toad sage-for a three year training excursion. She could do nothing but watch as team-7 fell apart.

And she hated it. She hated how one by one they left her behind. She hated how it made her feel weak, useless, and a burden. Most of all she hated how she felt worthless, unwanted, alone, and heart broken.

Abandoned.

They had left her alone to fend for herself and find her own path. It honestly didn't surprise her because she knew she was the weakest link of the team, that Naruto and Sasuke never took her seriously, that Kakashi never bothered teaching her the same things he taught the boys, and the fact that she really was the weakest link. But wasn't the whole point of being weak to learn to become strong and to be taught how to keep that strength going? She didn't know what Kakashi-sensei expected from team-7 but it broke her heart to know that the only one he had any hope in-if there was anything to hope for-had and always will be Sasuke. A sense of injustice, hatred, and rage had been implanted into her heart…Kakashi-sensei had abandoned her from the start.

Sasuke had never cared about the team because all he ever thought about was revenge. He was a young boy who lost his family because his brother wanted to test his capacity or so Itachi had said along with the words "You've always wanted to surpass me. That's why I'm going to let you live… if you wish to kill me, then hate me, despise me… and by all means flee, cling to your wretched life." Sasuke was haunted with nightmares about the night of his clan's massacre and the night where his life took a turn for the worse. He drowned himself into his goal of avenging his clan and later resurrecting the Uchiha's. But revenge had taken a back seat for a little while as he began to live and forget about his revenge when apart of team-7 but then the chunnin exams happened, Orochimaru happened, and again life was turned upside down. He left and team-7 was no more.

Naruto had fought to get Sasuke back, along with Neji, Chouji, Shikamaru, Lee and Kiba; he had promised her even. Yet he came back to Konoha tired, sweaty, dirty, broken with no Sasuke in sight. It had broken her own heart because she knew how much getting Sasuke back meant to him and knowing that he had failed made him want to give up, an unusual concept because this was Naruto, the boy who never gave up ever. Kakashi wasn't in the picture because he too had failed but Sakura thought that Kakashi never really tried as hard because Kakashi had failed the second he only gained interest in training Sasuke. That was when Naruto left with Jiraiya. Unlike Kakashi, Jiraiya was going to be a sensei to Naruto and teach him everything he could because Jiraiya had always believed in Naruto and he owed it to Naruto's parents to be there for their son whenever he needed it. Naruto left with promises Sakura didn't believe in anymore. To her promises became nothing but empty words.

Sasuke was gone, Naruto left, and Kakashi was never there.

She was alone now. Left to fend for her self.

She remembered those nights where she cried herself to sleep because the world was just so fucking unfair and cruel. She wondered where team-7 went wrong and couldn't stop herself from thinking, "maybe this was my fault" or "maybe it's because I just wasn't strong enough." Whatever the reason was team-7 broke apart and she was left with all the tiny fucked up pieces to mend herself.

Then one day Sakura had, had enough. She grew tired and angry of watching everyone's backs and decided that if they were going to leave her behind then she would stop chasing them and follow her own path. And so she begged on hands and knees for Konoha's new Hokage to take her as her new apprentice and Tsunade seeing a younger version of herself in Sakura said yes and so Sakura set about forging her own path with her own two hands. Soon she became known as Tsunade's apprentice and one of the best medic-nins the world has ever seen, second only to her master, and she was proud because she did this on her own. And soon the shadows of Sasuke and Naruto's backs disappeared and she only saw herself standing tall, strong, and proud. Tsunade-shishou gave back to her something that Sakura had stopped believing in years ago.

Hope.

Along with hope came the discovery of her inner and outer strength, perseverance, determination, and her ambition. Soon she was a well-known Kunoichi and she gave all the credit to Tsunade-shishou, who refused to accept credit because all she said she did was guide her and give her the tools to become the person she is today. The injustice, the hatred, and the anger she felt at Kakashi not taking her seriously disappeared because she had found a teacher who saw the potential in her and if it weren't for Kakashi not being a teacher to her she would have never found the strength or the courage to approach Tsunade and beg her to teach her. The heartbreak she suffered at the words and desertion of Sasuke was gone as she finally left her shallow-headedness behind and saw things she overlooked before for the first time. Her disbeliefs in Naruto's hope for the future and his promises that team-7 would become a team again were giving her hope that yes team-7 will become a team again. And she vowed to herself that she would help Naruto, stand by him, and fight with him to bring their wayward teammate back home where he belonged.

Abandoned.

It was possibly the best thing that could have happened to her because it helped her grow. It helped her realize that yes she may have been left behind but it didn't mean that she couldn't change her path, that she couldn't use the time she had to continue that growth, and soon she didn't feel so abandoned because the breaking apart of team-7 felt more like a journey, a journey where each member left to go discover themselves. It wasn't the end of the world, it wasn't the end of her, and it definitely wasn't the end of team-7. It was just an intermission, a break, and a temporary one at that. Sakura wasn't as alone as she thought she was before because she had friends, she had her shishou, she had her inner strength, her hope in the future, her belief that team-7 would one day be a team again. And this time she wouldn't be weak, she wouldn't be shallow, she wouldn't be a burden.

She was strong damn it and she would show it!

This time around she would make Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi watch her back.

Sakura looked back down at the word and its definition and thought that even though abandoned was a word of pain the person who discovered the word didn't fully understand what abandonment really, truly, meant. Yes it meant you were left behind, that the people you cared for walked away and left you to your own devices, and that the people who meant everything to you walked away without looking back once. But what this person failed to see is that the word abandoned could mean that you walked away from the person you were in order to grow into the person you were meant to become. It could mean that you abandoned your old life of being weak, of being scared, of being terrified to move on from your past and step forward to your future. Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi weren't the only ones who abandoned her; she had abandoned her old, immature, crybaby self.

Sakura smiled as she closed the dictionary and set it back onto her bookshelf. She wasn't afraid of a word innocently written onto a page of her dictionary because she wouldn't let it scare her and besides abandoned to her meant change; change from the old to the new, and from the past to the future. Abandoned wasn't such a scary concept for her because she was no longer lost, because she found herself, and most importantly she became a new and better person who was not afraid of standing alone because she never really was. Sasuke would be free from his haunted past, Naruto would come back stronger, better, and more determined than ever to bring his lost best friend-rival-brother home, Kakashi would remember that he had three students and not one and he would come back to become the sensei of the new and improved team-7, and Sakura herself will show all three that she was strong, that she was a fighter, and that she was not someone they could ignore any longer.

Yes she would prove to them-her boys-that she was no longer the same weak twelve-year-old crybaby she used to be, that she was no longer that weak, immature, and shallow girl any longer. Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi, and her were taking time apart to grow, to learn, and to discover things that only they themselves could discover. Their defining moment would be when the new team-7 came together. Until then Sakura went on cleaning her house, training with Tsunade-shishou, working in the hospital, and going on missions, waiting for the day Naruto came back from his training with Jiraiya, waiting for the day Kakashi-sensei finally came to terms and forgave himself for supposedly failing Sasuke, Naruto, and most of all her, and she waited for the day that Naruto, Kakashi-sensei, and her went after Sasuke and brought him home where he belonged and where he was always meant to be. All there was left to do now was patiently bide her time until that day because something in her told her that, that day was nearer then she thought it was.

After all abandoned was just a word.

And this, this was life.

…..

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never define me."

…..

Authors corner:

It took me two days to write this but I'm proud of this.

The reason why I wrote about this word is because I felt that abandoned was exactly what Sakura was but not only did she get left behind by Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi but Sakura abandoned her old self and gained the strength and courage to become a new person. I think out of all the Naruto characters Sakura took the biggest leap to become a new person. She was a weak, frightened, shallow, and short sighted girl who cared about nothing but trying to get Sasuke's attention and she herself admitted that that's what she used to be but she changed all that by taking a risk and begging Tsunade to take her as an apprentice and therefore she abandoned all her fears, her weaknesses, her shallow-headedness, her short-sightedness, and her excuses about why she was weak.

Sakura abandoned all her weaknesses and became a strong person.

…..

The rhyme at the end is an old nursery rhyme and there are two versions of it.

Version 1: "Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me."
Version 2: "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."

I thought that the version I put fit in better and plus I actually like the version I put up more then the actual version's.

I put my heart into this story and I hope you all enjoyed reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Comments and criticisms welcomed!