Total Zeksmit Plains

Chapter 13: Campers Without a Camp

Beginning AN:

Last chance to bail on this story if you want. And read Run: .GIFocalypse. This won't exactly be a satisfying ending. I'll tell you write now. But at least, finally, this will have an ending.

Whoof, what a better way to end the decade (at least in the sense of non-SBIG stuff) than finally get rid of this thing that's been haunting me since 2011? It's not the start of the decade, but it's close enough.

I fixed the closing notes to the last chapter, where it just cut off abruptly after "whether" on the first paragraph and then went down to the next. I started writing it, then I went on to write another segment, and then I must have forgot to finish that.

If this is your first time reading a story by me (that made it to an ending), I have a "tradition" where I put a "preview" for either some upcoming project or a "revival" of something (as in, an upcoming updating for something that I haven't worked on in a while, although I'm trying to limit these since just about every story has some point where it's been on hiatus, and I really don't just want to say "Hey, new chapter of this thing that's already out is coming!" Especially when that chapter doesn't, and I put it on hiatus again). I'm so disgruntled by this story that I will tell you right now that you can just skip straight to the bottom to get to that, and not have to read this. Specifically, it's under the "THE END." in bold. So you know exactly where your eyes do not need to wander, lest you get a really long closing note.

(Playa Des Losers)

"Could you believe Heather spent the longest time here out of any of us?" Izzy asked, floating on her back in the pool. "Fellow 'last camper to get here,' what do you think?"

Courtney nodded from a bench to the side of the pool. "Horrible. I know."

"Well, at least Eva just had three days away from spending the least amount of time here."

"Yeah."

"And she's worse."

"Oh God so much worse."

("Aftermath" Confessional)

Heather: *Taking in several deep breaths.* I HATE EVA! And not for the reasons everybody else does! It's because I should have been the one at the center of attention! Now, do I want the label of "the bad guy?" No. No, I don't. But I do want to be the girl that weirdos like Izzy and Bridgette hate the most. As long as the non-losers like me, I'll be fine.

Then a jet ski broke through the swimming pool from below, completely soaking Izzy and sending a wave after Courtney.

Ezekiel was riding on it, dressed in a pair of swim trunks, an oversided pair of teal triangular shades, and of course his hat. He also held on to a megaphone, but he thankfully was not 'dressed' in it.

Unthankfully, he cheered in to it.

"GOOD MORNING EX-CAMPERS!" He cheered in it. "LAST DAY OF WINTER! ANYONE FORGOT WHAT THAT MEANS, YO?!"

"I did!" Lindsay said upon exiting the hotel. Still 'wearing' what she did upon her elimination.

"Right! So, we're having a special post-game challenge where the winner gets one hundred thousand dollars! But this will easily be the longest challenge you'll have!"

"Longer than when we camped out in the woods for three days?!" Courtney asked. "Also, how the hell did you get a boat to show up through the pool?!"

"Okay it's not gonna be that long." Ezekiel said, also convincing Courtney that getting the answer to the second question might prove to be even more difficult than winning the cash prize. "So, the second-longest challenge in the game!"

*Cue intro.*

(Playa Des Losers, Pool Side)

Ezekiel chuckled on his inexplicable jet-ski, while by that point, all of the contestants have gathered. "Yeah, I know what you're thinking. How did I get this here?"

"Yes!" Said Courtney.

"Oh, why do you care? You were there to see it? I did not drop it in from a helicopter, oh no. Instead, I came from under the water! That's my secret!"

"But that's the thing! How?! I've looked under the pool ever since you came up! I can see no tunnels, no false walls or false floors, no possible entryways, nothing that could work... it's..."

"Oh, I can explain that right now!" He cheered.

Courtney sighed. "Finally. Thank goodness."

"You see, it's-"

Ezekiel started sniffing the air.

"Wait a minute..."

He turned around. Everyone else in the area turned with him, looking off in what should have been the direction of Zekiunakwa.

There was a large column of black smoke coming from there.

"Oh no." Ezekiel said. "That's not- no. Ohhhhh... GOD NO! CAMP! MY PRECIOUS CAMP! ARE YOU OKAY?! I'M COMING FOR YOU!"

He slammed on the gas pedal to his jet ski-

And forgot that he was only in a tiny, limited piece of water, not out in a vast ocean. Upon hitting the edge, he immediately flew off of his own ride, crashing face-first in to the concrete and sliding. Scraping the floor hard.

Despite that, he popped right back up as though that did not happen, and began running in the direction of the smoke.

Sighing and rolling his eyes, Justin walked over to the Car of Failure.

(Camp Grounds)

A whole convoy of cars drove up to where the previous half-winter was spent, in a very neat, orderly formation.

No, the whole place was not on fire at the time. However, there was an isolated patch of flame errupting from the mess hall. Ezekiel wiped sweat from his brow.

"Fwew!" He said. "Okay, it's only there. Where Justin spent most of his time working. I don't really have any sentimental value to that building yo. It's all good. No offense, Justin."

Justin shrugged. "Not being remembered by you is a compliment. It is a bummer that the place I worked at is gone, but-"

"So, like, where's all the fire-fighting equipment? ...Nah, I won't worry, we've got a SPECIAL challenge to get to!"

Justin paused. "Ezekiel, you seem really calm about the fact that there's a fire in the mess hall."

"Well," the host chuckled, scratching the part of his face that was... well, scraped, "it's not the prairie itself. So I'm relieved! Anyway," he turned to the other cars and clapped, "if the ex-campers can just get out..."

The contestants were barely getting out.

"Isn't that a serious problem?" Courtney asked, staring at the flames.

"Nope!" Ezekiel calmly replied, eyes closed, head up. "We could put it out!"

Justin sighed. "Let me guess. 'We' in this case is 'me.'"

"Yep!" Ezekiel snapped his fingers. "Just gotta turn that 'W' upside-down!"

"...I do all the time," he grumbled, barely audioble as he began to fetch some fire-fighting equipment from the car. "Almost as much as I turn the 'M' in your nickname to an 'H...'"

"Huh? Which nickname? Zeksmit? I don't see how- oh. Oh... yeah, that's not very clever. People have been calling me 'Zekshit' all the time."

He then faced the contestants, who were still getting out, while Justin went inside the mess hall. "So, the special challenge! Plot twist, this place isn't the first camp grounds to have a '-Nakwa' name in it with a huge cliff! In fact, this is... kind of a ripoff of the first one! Yeah, the dude had no idea what 'Wawanakwa' meant, so he just... named it... well, anyway, that's not important! What is important is that I'm taking you to the OG camp grounds! This place is actually the last of the grounds with a naming scheme like that, but Wawanakwa is the first!"

"Oh, Wawanakwa!" Katie, of all the campers, said. "I've heard of that place! It's over in an island!"

Ezekiel nodded. "Yep."

"But it's, like... really far away!"

"Yeah, I know. This would be your second 'Point A to Point B' challenge in a row, the first being the finale, so I wanted to shake things up for this. Make it a much bigger distance to cover. Also, Sierra will be with you. Did I tell you about that last time? We were fond of how devoted she was to sneaking on the campgrounds and getting in my room for the game, so we thought, meh, what's the harm in having her compete? She is not in for drama. She is in this game for fun. And since none of you look like you can see her..."

Ezekiel snapped his fingers and pointed behind all eleven contestants. When they turned, they of course found the purple-haired super fan standing behind all of them, cheering to herself.

"What?!" Asked Heather. "How did she sneak up on us like that?!"

(Confessional)

Justin: For the record, I knew what the harm in having Sierra compete would be. But, for once, I just kept my mouth shut. I thought it would be a refreshing idea to have the one person who looks like she could drive Ezekiel nuts. She's like... "Ezekiel's Ezekiel." If you will.

The head (and hat) host flexed his fingers. Geoff somehow knew that was a cue of sorts to bring out a gigantic map - showing a great chunk of Canada, most of Ontario. Ezekiel pointed in the southern portion of the map.

"This is where we are. Out in the praries. One of the very, very few places of Canada that's not covered in ice in the winter. And you're going all the way..."

He pretty much moved it a great distance south and to the east.

"Right here. Out in the middle of a Muskoka lake. So, you better pack a lot of things. It's a long trip. You can form teams and everything. Including you, Sierra. And then, like, betray each-other. And stuff.

"Now for the technical part of this bonus challenge, I have some ground rules. Each contestant gets a hundred bucks so that they can, like, buy junk they want along the way in the game, extra tools. But, you can use whatever you can get your hands on from the camp! I'm giving all the props from all the other challenges away for free, yo! As a bonus for participating, you can all keep any leftover money."

He threw several wads of bills at each of the game's previous campers. And Sierra.

"So, that's about it for what you can do, all that's left is what you're trying to do. Making it to the island's not enough! Remember that empty briefcase that Heather tackled?"

"Which one's Heather again?" Asked Lindsay, getting a groan from the last-placer in question.

"Well, it's not empty any more. That has your prize money, touching that will mark the end of this game. But it's not on the island. Once you actually get there, you have to run up to the top of the island's cliff. You'll know it when you see it. It looks like that one,"

He gestured his hands at the infamous Zekitunakwa Cliff.

"But taller, and it's over the vast, shark-infested lake instead of a calm, soothing, romantic... well, that's also a lake but a much smaller one, eh. I like it a lot more. But, you know, bias.

"Anyway, the first person who manages to have their hands on that briefcase when it opens wins. I say that because, originally, there was gonna be a combination code to open the thing, and each of the numbers were hidden in different spots of the island, but... Justin thought that was a bad idea. The distance you gotta go is more than enough pain to have a 'go in the woods and find things' part to it too."

"You're welcome." Justin commented. "For once, he actually took my advice."

"So I made the last part much simpler. There's no combination needed, but I put the briefcase in a box. Find a way to break the box, and then open it, and you get to have what's inside."

"Hey!" Shouted Courtney. "What's inside is the prize money, right?"

"...Yes. I wasn't gonna trick you. Okay, so one last thing, you all get items! It's in this little minigame I like to call..."

(Base of the Cliff)

"THE CLAW OF AWE!" Ezekiel said. "Except it's not a claw game. I wanted it to be, but the budget was a little too tight for that. But I couldn't think of a new name for it in time."

"You were silent the whole time you walked here?" Gwen asked.

"It's called a dramatic pause." He explained. "While Justin could and hopefully will cut out the space in between, I'd like to have the pause carry on in-show as well as out. Anyway, in-between the 'finale' and the end of winter, I was able to get some funds back from that robot challenge! So I can give you these cool tools, to help you reach the island."

Behind him was a large square divided in to a 4x4 grid, made of... seemingly plastic, each of the squares within the larger square being fairly gigantic themselves. Inside each square was... well, this is best explained through a list immitating the grid, each with their 'back' wall numbered 1 through 16 respectively:

A meat grinder, a bear, a small kart, a solid gold statue of a nude Ezekiel (censored of course - in the broadcast, the contestants all have to see Ezekiel's junk dyed a glorious gold).

A dowsing rod, a guide to Canadian wildlife, car keys of sorts, a sparkling treasure chest.

Another set of car keys, a large stack of sexy magazines, a cow, a musket.

A set of bullets, a kid-toy wagon, an actual giant wagon, and finally a cake.

Similarly, there was a 4x4 grid of targets in the lake, just floating out there. Numbered left-to-right, back to front from 1-16.

Ezekiel picked up a slingshot and kicked a leg towards a large pile of pellets besides him.

"Just grab this slingshot - we only have one because that... that just made sense - and shoot at one of the targets. You break a target, you get what's in its respective little container."

"Um, what's in the treasure chest?" Lindsay asked. "Gold? Because, like, if it is, wouldn't that break the point of the challenge?"

"Oh that one's a secret! Heh! If you're good enough to hit Balloon Number Eight, you can find out! Same with the keys. I won't tell you exactly what cars - or other vehicles - they're for. You find out on your own."

"So is this first-come first-serve?" Asked Gwen.

"Nope! It's first-voted off, first-serve! You go in the order you were voted off! You see, this is another reason why I don't want to bring people back after being voted off; this little gimmick. It'll be hard to decide what order you go in. So, uh, that means Heather, you're up first. You get to pick from all the targ- wait. No, you're not. You competed in one episode, Sierra was in none of them. Sierra, you're the first one."

("Target Range")

"Alright Sierra!" Ezekiel announced, clapping his hands together. "New blood's up at bat!"

"Oh, Ezekiel..." Sierra chuckled, looking like she was about to jot something down. "You and your slang-misunderstandings... it's so silly! I... right. Watch this!"

She looked like she was barely even trying, leaning back in a way that could even give Izzy's various 'flexibilities' a run for their money. Throwing out a pellet-

Wow it hit bullseye. All eleven of the contestants gasped. In fact, the one thing that still convinced them that Sierra 'missed' something was what she ended up getting:

Target #4. The nude Ezekiel statue.

Both Ezekiel and Sierra had the same grin on their faces as the latter rushed up to the object.

"YES! YES YES YES!" She cheered. "I WANTED THIS SOOOOOO MUCH!"

The non-placing 'contestant' picked up that censored thing and hugged it tightly, getting disgusted reactions from...

Well, everyone except Ezekiel himself.

"Wow." Said Heather. "That's..."

(Confessional)

Heather: Making an alliance with Sierra is out of the question! *Swings hands out and down for emphasis.* ...Unless...

"So, Heather. As the one who placed dead-last, number eleventh in the game-" Ezekiel began an explanation, but was cut off by the aformentioned losing camper.

"I get it! I GET IT! I'm a loser. I got kicked off first. Nobody knows who I am, or if they do, they think I'm disgusting! Now, let me try to make this up! I've always been the biggest fish in the ocean! I should be someone even bigger in this tiny pond!"

"Um, technically, that's a lake, but I know you're not being literal. I've been called a 'big fish' and I guess that's the saying, eh." Ezekiel shrugged.

Heather quickly took her own ammo and fired.

Breaking Target #16.

"Congrats!" Ezekiel cheered. "Your item for the special is-"

"The cake! I know! ARGFH!"

With a sigh, Gwen went next. She wasn't even really trying-

And hit #7.

"Wait... I get... keys?!" She asked. "Which set of keys is that?"

"Oh man, YEAH! I've been waiting to say this since I saw my first game show, but... you've won... A BRAND NEW CAR!"

(Confessional)

Gwen: *Takes in deep breath.*
Gwen: *Screams happily.*

Ezekiel: *Takes in a deep breath.*
Ezekiel: *Screams happily.*

"Yep! A new car! Those were the car keys! So, Leshawna. You're up next..."

Cutting to the point for the next few contestants:

Leshawna hit #6, shrugged, and took her guide on the Canadian wilderness.

Katie broke #12. Gasping at the thought of having a friggin' gun, Ezekiel quickly explained that it wasn't loaded. That was what the bullets for #13 were. Katie frowned after hearing that.

Bridgette got #1, visibly brooding when she picked up the tool to be used on meat.

Lindsay hit #2, tried to get the bear on her side, but ended up running away from it screaming.

Sadie got #13, quickly picking up the bullets. Enough to be needed to be held in both arms, she walked over to Katie and cheekily grinned, showing the bullets. Katie just turned away without saying anything.

Beth squealed with joy upon breaking target #10.

Struggling with her casts and wheelchair, Eva broke #9, getting a gasp from Ezekiel.

"Do I get a car too?" Eva said, smiling for perhaps the first time in a while.

"...No, those keys are actually for... a helicopter."

"Oh, so I can just fly to the island and..."

Ezekiel hung his head down in shame, wincing. "Yes! I really didn't think this through, okay?! You... basically get the free ride! AUGH!"

"Ha ha, YES!"

Eva lept in to the air off of her wheelchair, taking off every last one of her casts. "Oh man! Izzy! Courtney! You two better HOPE that whatever's in that chest will help you out! That's the only thing I see that could even come close!"

Ezekiel tried to explain something but could only let out a dry gasp.

Izzy went next, breaking #5, and sticking her tongue out. (Pun unintended.) "A stick?!" She asked. "Ugh..."

Finally, Courtney.

She got #15 at least, getting a smile from her. "An actual mode of transport... good."

But it got a groan from Ezekiel.

"Really? Nobody got the treasure chest?! Argh, fine. I'll explain what's in there. It's a radio that'll call Blaineley herself, who'll give you this awesome ride over there. Probably not as awesome as the helicopter, though. Anyway, so, you can't go yet. I'll have to set everything up. Mainly, getting over there. Once I arrive on the island, you can start."

"Wait." Said Bridgette. "You have to get to the island? Didn't you say this challenge could take days?!"

Ezekiel rolled his eyes like that was a bad question. "Hah, of course I'm not going there by vehicle! I have a teleporter! Duh!"

That dropped the jaws of all contestants. Even Geoff and Harold gave him a weird look as he casually walked through a tiny crack in the wall of the cliff and came back out, carrying something with a sheet over it.

"A tele-what?!" Asked Courtney. "Are you joking or have you just gone insane from the four weeks of not having the camera on your face?"

Ignoring her, Ezekiel just took the sheet off.

Yep. A small, round pad with a fancy symbol on it involving loads of triangles.

"Yeah, I have these." He said with a grin, standing on the pad. "How else did you think I made that boat appear from under the pool? Pipes? Heh, I'd have to hold my breath the whole time, eh! So, uh, staff meeting! Let the main hosts come over here! We'll be the ones waiting on the island, the rest of the staff... meh, has to just get here like the campers. Now let the challenge..."

Harold and Geoff ran to the sides of him. Harold on his knees with his hands down, panting.

"I love you Courtney!" He said. "I hope I'll see you first on the is-"

"BEGIN!" Ezekiel cried out.

All three of them disappeared in some sort of silver-colored flame, leaving the contestants to just stare at where he was.

"Pfft. This is gonna be easy." Izzy said, flipping around her stick-thing while slowly walking to the machine. "There's no rule saying we can't just follow them through the tele-"

Another small, silver flame-shaped burst. Arriving on the pad was a small stick of lit dynamite with a piece of paper that had something written on it. Izzy bent forward to investigate.

"'Get back?'" She said. "Huh. Tiny writ-"

BOOM!

Yep. A large explosion took out the very same round disc Ezekiel had used to get to the contestants' goal, making all the campers flinch. Izzy, obviously the closest to it, was sent flying back a good distance.

"What the- he could have KILLED US with that!" Heather cried. "...Finally! That would be something interesting happening in this 'game!'"

(Mess Hall)

The fire was already long taken care of. But Justin remained seated in a dark room of the building. Watching security tapes. Looking at the hall itself, over the past day. Empty... empty... empty... then suddenly, the fire. All he had to tell were a few precise frames, that he barely managed to pause on.

"None of this makes sense..." he said under his breath. "Unless..."

He shook and screamed when a tablet let out a loud ring. Oh. Ezekiel. Calling on video chat. Sighing as he tried to regain his composure, the original co-host went to it and answered it.

It showed beach sand.

"Hey there!" He said. "...This is the side with the camera, right? I've never used one of these things before."

Geoff's hand came by and flipped it around, showing Ezekiel's face.

"Oh. Anyway, Justin! Nice to see you're here! Don't worry, I didn't forget about you at first!"

"'At first?'"

"Yeah, uh, I already blew up the teleporter, but hey! You can just have me broadcast stuff while you get to Wawanakwa!"

"...What teleporter?"

"Just, um... all you have to know is that we're already there. And you're not. You're the... 'host' of this challenge! Just, the campers will probably have some rides or something! Team up with them!"

"B-but!"

Justin sighed as he walked out.

"So, campers, I-"

They already left.

"...Well. Shoot. Late to that, too. So-"

And then he heard a roar.

An especially viscious roar. One that sent shivers down his spine.

Heck. It might have even been the kind of thing that could send shivers down Eva's spine. At least according to Justin.

Paws stomped hard on the grounds of Zekitunakwa. Heavy paws. Belonging to a bear. A huge bear with deep, indigo-colored fur. It sniffed the air.

The nose itself. Each time the creature sniffed, four nostrils in addition to the 'standard' two would open up on the sides of the nose. And gills, those opened up both under its face and to its sides.

The purple bear looked around. Its pupils suddenly shrunk, turned a burning hot scarlet, and stared at Justin, who was standing right there.

Justin replied to that by screaming.

"Y... YOU!" He shouted.

Heat came from the bear's mouth.

(Road to Playa Des Losers)

"And you're sure you're not afraid of Eva just flyin' to the end?" Leshawna asked, comfortably sitting in the passenger's seat. "I mean, you do know how fast helicopters can go, right?

"...Also, could you... change the station? This song is just... grim."

"I know. And I'm the one driving." Gwen chuckled lightly.

"Only 'cuz I called shotgun!"

"Driver gets control of the radio, man. That's the law of... cars."

They stayed in silence for a while as they soon, finally made it back on that same road that the 'final challenge' briefly crossed before. That time, they embraced going off towards the direction of a city, and far in the opposite way to what would have taken them to Playa Des Losers.

"This is nice." Gwen said with a smile. "It really is. This doesn't even feel like a challenge in a reality show anymore. We can wear what we want, go where we want, we don't have to listen to some hick with a huge ego... it's more like a road trip where we get paid if we make it to the end fast enough!"

"Mm hmm..." Leshawna replied. "And the prizes are all over the place! The only one who got something better than you was Eva! So, if we see any helicopters..." she winked and chuckled. "Just try to get their attention. Any one of them could be her."

Gwen chuckled. "While I hated spending three days alone with Heather in that resort, I was glad to spend almost half the winter away from Eva after I lost. So, to me it was a good thing she made it all the way to the final three. I mean, she lost anyway. I don't have to be scared of what someone like her would do with a lot of money."

(South of Zekitunakwa Camp Grounds)

Eva just stared at her helicopter, waiting on a helipad to the south that none of the contestants knew was even there.

"Uh... okay?" She asked. "I don't actually know how to fly this thing..."

A man came running up to her. Panting, exhausted, with his hands on his knees.

"Hey." He said. "I'm. Um. The intern that'll help fly this thing."

Eva stared at him for a minute, giving him a hard glare.

"Wait, I get my own personal intern?" She shrugged. "That's pretty cool."

(Northern Plains)

The cake looked a lot smaller back when it was in the boxes...

Heather just frowned, mumbling about being "The one in that helicopter..." while she walked through the northern part of Zekitunakwa, holding the giant thing in her hands.

"Are you sure about this?" Katie asked. "Like, you... you know you're going the wrong way, right?"

"Shut it!" Sierra, the sole other contestant following Heather's side, told her. She held the nude Ezekiel statue over her shoulder, effortlessly keeping it up with one arm. "Of course Heather knows what she's doing! She's the greatest!"

Heather chuckled. "No need to be so harsh, Sierra! Yes, Katie, I know. Wawanakwa is to the south. But you see, as the first one kicked off, I got a 'pity prize.' I knew about this challenge and about Wawanakwa right from the start! Well, as soon as Ezekiel got the budget for it, anyway. So I was already mapping out a route for this. My plan A was to get the ride from Blaineley to go straight over there. If that failed, then the helicopter keys, where I'd drive myself. But now I'm stuck with Plan C, and that's to go to a train station that should take me straight to the beach. You should be lucky, because now I get to make an alliance."

"What do you need an alliance for?" Asked Katie.

"ZIP IT!" Sierra shouted back at her, making her wince. "Be thankful my gorgeous queen even asked you to be with her in the first place!"

"Sierra, come on!" Fake-laughed the last-placer. "Right! As the most dangerous contestant, I have a huge target on my back. Everyone's going to be expecting a big comeback out of me. So, I need you to be my bodyguard. You have bullets, I can trade this cake for a gun... I hope. I mean, I'm sure there's some hungry, crazy gun-wielder somewhere around here..."

They passed an exceptionally tall hill.

And from that hill, Izzy jumped out, pointing at them.

"A-HA!" She shouted.

"See? Look. Katie, Sierra, either she wants to trade the cake for a gun, or she's here to attack us. This is where we come in."

"Actually," Izzy shrugged, "Bridgette and I kinda wanted to join you. I mean, a meat grinder and a stick? You don't have anything that good-"

"I HAVE A NAKED STATUE OF MY FAVORITE HOST." Sierra shook the statue itself for emphasis.

"-...But Bridgette wants numbers, and you guys seem pretty harmless for the most part."

"M-me?! Harmless?!" Asked Heather.

Bridgette walked out from behind the hill herself, sighing.

"Hey. Izzy insisted on hiding like that and jumping out. Sorry about that. It was our compromise: I asked for help, she did that."

"And now you two are speaking for each other." Heather remarked.

Bridgette looked like she was about to say something, but Izzy interrupted: "...Kind of. So?"

"Hah, nothing. Anyway, I know how we can get there. I know about the challenge befo-"

"Yeah, because you were kicked off first and it was a compromise." Izzy said. "Look, sorry, I was eavedropping. Bad habit."

Heather blinked.

"Whatever. Just follow me. Trust me, we'll get to Wawanakwa."

(Sadie)

And that left Sadie.

She had her hand to her mouth the entire time.

As she watched on, looking at Katie progress with Heather and company.

"Um... should I...?" She 'asked' herself.

(Eva)

Eva stared at the controls. And alternated between doing that and staring at the intern.

"Fly this thing." She commanded.

"Okay-"

"JUST FLY IT!"

"I said I was going to!"

He tapped furiously at the controls, hyperventalating at the looming threat of Eva right next to him.

Just as it was about to take off, Justin slammed his hands against the door. The intern screamed.

"I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!" He shouted.

"...What? You know what, I won't ask. Get in."

"ZEKITUNA- Wait, really? You're letting me in?"

"Yes. Don't make me change my mind. I mean, after all, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna make it to Wawanakwa. I have a helicopter. And HOPEFULLY, someone who knows how to FLY the damn thing!"

"I can fly it!" The intern defended himself.

"Well obviously NOT GOOD ENOUGH!"

Justin could barely get in before the threats got to the intern: he took the helicopter up and flying, all while the co-host had his legs dangling out. With a sigh and an eyeroll, Eva reached out to help pull him in to the vehicle with her.

And, once he was in, he shouted the following:

"ZEKITUNAKWA IS ON FIRE!"

Okay. Both Eva and the intern looked at him.

"...How did that happen?"

Justin took a deep breath.

"There's a huge pool of nuclear waste not too far from here. Well, far enough that Ezekiel doesn't care about it." He grumbled, "no matter how many times I try to get him to use our budget to do something about it.

"In that pond of nuclear waste, well... some bears settled there. Years ago. They got mutated, then started a family. Three generations later, that same family..." Justin sighed. "You're not gonna believe this. They have superpowers.

"Anyway, they were nice - well, nice as far as bears go anyway - until Ezekiel did something really stupid."

"Not surprised." Said Eva.

"It was an accident though! ...For once. Anyway, one of the bear's 'powers' was fire breath. And..."

(Moments Ago)

Flames shot from the maw of that gigantic, discolored bear, soon torching the very 'perfect' lime grass that made up the bulk of Zekitunakwa's ground.

Justin ran away.

Screaming.

(Present)

"...That's really all I have to say." Shrugged the co-host. "There's a mutant bear out there and it set the place on fire. And now Ezekiel's gonna be furious. He might end up firing - no pun intended - me. I know you might be thinking 'why-'"

"I'm not." Replied Eva.

"-Well, he just wants someone to blame. And that someone will always be me. Geoff's 'cool.' Kathy's a girl, so of course Ezekiel won't do anything to her. No matter how bad she gets."

"...Nobody asked." Eva said. "And that bear doesn't even sound like that big of a deal. He'll stick to camp, right?"

And then came another stream of fire. From below, shooting up to the helicopter.

Eva and Justin looked out the window (the pilot, naturally, had done so the whole time, but just felt too nervous to make any commentary on what he saw) to see the source.

There it was. The campsite, where a whole- okay, where a half-winter was spent. But still, from the deep woods to the movie set, the whole place was in flames. A roaring orange flame covered the entire camp ground - the fire was still fresh, so not much completely burned to the ground. The buildings collapsed, but their wood was still mostly a fresh brown. The lake, for obvious reasons, was the only major part of the site that was untouched, although even it, too, looked like it would boil at any moment.

The source of the flames was invisible at the moment, due to distance. And smoke, smoke was beginning to threaten to cover most of the skies. But the recent, upwards-facing trail was definitely there.

It hit the helicopter, and the tail was lit ablaze.

Justin screamed.

"Oh, stop." Eva told him. "We just have to land safely. Intern? Can you do that?"

Silently, the intern nodded.

He couldn't, actually. The helicopter went spiralling down in the vague direction of a city. (Because there was a helipad there, at least. That was what the intern was going for.)

The fall was not unnoticed by others:

(Gwen, Leshawna, Lindsay, Beth, and Courtney)

They had to stop the car. Catching sight of a helicopter spiraling to the ground.

"Oh shoot!" Shouted Leshawna. "Well, I hope that's Eva! If it ain't, that's horrible! If it is, though..."

She and Gwen chuckled.

"I really hope it's Eva too." Added Gwen.

"...But we don't really know..." Said Lindsay.

Gwen sighed. "She's right. I mean, we've got the second-fasted mode of transportation in the challenge. The least we could do is stop by and look at the wreck. If it's not Eva, we can help them out."

Leshawna took a deep breath in. "You know, I never told anyone this since it sounded crazy, but I can kinda sense that it's her. I don't like that. But I can. I can feel the ickiness of Eva. And her anger."

"Ooh, me too!" Said Lindsay. "She has this aura around her! But... we should go over there anyway."

Courtney shrugged. "I'm voting for going to her too. I mean, in some ways I injured her in the finale, and... well, I guess when I started feeling guilty of other people, I started taking it a little too far and now I feel... 'bad' for her? Does that make sense?"

Gwen sighed. "Unfortunately. I feel this too much myself."

(Justin, Eva, and the Intern)

"WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO JUMP!" Justin shouted. "THANKFULLY THIS THING HAS PARA-"

Eva and the intern already 'chutted themselves up and jumped out. Which actually made Justin, if briefly, ignore the danger and roll his eyes.

He did as well, although none of the three had that long of a fall thanks to... well, waiting a bit too long before actually doing that.

Both Justin and Eva had flat expressions on their faces as they drifted to the ground. And when they landed.

When the intern landed, he just ran off.

"So." Justin said. "You still think that Mutant Bear is nothing to worry about?"

"It... it shouldn't be!" She slammed her fists to her side. Then winced, still a bit sensitive from her recovery. "It isn't fair! I could have been at Wawanakwa first if it wasn't for that thing, which is OUTSIDE OF THE GAME, destroying my ride! Just like... like the storm when I lost! TWICE I could have won if it wasn't for something that wasn't part of the game getting in the way!"

"That's not true! Remember the final challenge? You'd have to remember everyone who was voted off in order and make it to Playa Des Losers with help from the other campers! Do you remember the elimination order even right now, after you've already seen the challenge?"

"Well... no, but-"

"Could you get enough people on your side? Courtney or Izzy, I think everyone else would pick either of them over you."

"I mean-"

"Or Beth, for that matter. Or Sadie. Or... well, anyone. I don't think anyone would pick you no matter who the other finalist is."

"Fine! I could take all ten of them on!"

"Well, Courtney has super-strength, Izzy has these weird... wild-skills, and-"

"ARGH! SHUT UP!"

Eva kicked at a burning patch of rubble, also lighting her shoe on fire. In a quick panic, she kicked away that flame, sighing in relief.

Meanwhile, the purple-tinted bear just watched from the peak of a hill.

The bear squinted his eyes. And then...

Wait, he began sniffing.

And he ran off in a different direction.

("Team Killer Jackrabbits")

"Yep." Said Gwen. "It's them."

Leshawna sighed. "Eva looks fine." She said. "I don't think we have to check up on-"

"RARGH!" Yep. They heard Eva roar that.

And then they felt their car shake when Eva lept on its top.

Gwen, Leshawna, Lindsay, and Beth all screamed to various extents.

Courtney just huffed.

"Eva!" The latter shouted. "Go away!"

"And my car! You can't ruin what we won in that contest!"

"Yes we CAN!" Eva shouted, punctuating that last word with a fist-slam. "That stupid bear ruined my HELICOPTER! Why should I give half a SHIT about your car?! Also, Lindsay, put some clothes on!"

"No!" Lindsay shouted back.

"Well... well I'm going to do SOMETHING! I'll win the money! And then, with that money-"

"Why are you even listening to her?!" Leshawna whipped her head to Gwen. "Girl, drive! Drive!"

Gwen could not hit that gas petal harder.

And Eva could not fly off the roof faster.

"Wait!" Justin shouted, running after the group. "What about me?! Can I join you?!"

Of course, by that point, he was just a tiny blip in the rearview mirror. That was how fast Gwen drove off.

"Okay, what about Justin?" Beth asked. "Can he join us?"

"After tryin' to use us as points against this 'Alejandro' fellow? No." Leshawna replied.

(Heather, Sierra, Katie, Izzy, and Bridgette)

"You know what?" Heather asked. She did not look like she was adressing anyone in particular, although she was facing Sierra. The party of five, by the way, rested comfortably near the train station proper. "I'm sick of lugging this cake around. It's not going to do anything useful. So, uh, 'whoops!'"

She dropped it. Close to the tracks. Very close.

"Are you sure about that?" Izzy asked. "I would have liked to eat it."

Heather shrugged. "Meh. You didn't win it, did you? You just won a stick."

"A stick that can be used to find water!"

"...And how is that helpful? Look. You need me for this. So follow me."

And the train pulled up.

Having long bought five tickets to - well, as far as Heather cared, they were five tickets to Wawanakwa - boaring on was easy.

Sadie, who had been hiding behind a completely different building for most of the time, absolutely ran on with her ticket, breathing heavily. Her eyes darted in every direction.

(The Train)

Heather hummed to herself from her own, personal seat.

"Isn't this nice?" She asked. "A road straight to the cash. No need to walk. Well, except for the walk to get to the train station in the first place."

"Yeah! Yes, it is. This plan is perfect." Sierra said. She was frequently nodding, keeping her eyes closed. Smiling ear-to-ear. Until she said the following, wherein she suddenly stood upright on her seat and pointed at Izzy. "GOT IT?!"

"What did I even DO?!" Asked Izzy.

"I just... I don't like you!"

"Why?"

"Because you threaten my favorite pairings!"

"What pairings?! Why?! How?! Augh, look what you've done - usually people ask me 'why' and 'how!'"

Sierra got up and stood on her seat. "Look right here you weirdo!"

"The, uh, the pot's calling the ke-"

"Do you want to know who I ship Bridgette with?!"

"NO!" Bridgette shouted back.

"Well I-"

And then the train shook.

Heather sighed. "What on earth was that?"

"I'll look!" Sierra cheered.

Before Heather could say anything else, Sierra darted off down the hall, and disappeared in the door to the next car.

She came back, grinning, with the tail end of her hair on fire.

"There's this weird-looking purple bear running after the train."

That got Heather to raise an eyebrow.

"Also, it can breathe fire."

Heather shuffled around her seat on the train, drumming her fingers on the back.

"Hrm... Izzy. Bridgette. I think this is your chance."

"...Our 'chance?'" Bridgette asked her.

Smirking, Heather stood up and went down the path her very own fangirl walked before.

"Follow me."

All four of the contestants stood up-

Without even looking, Heather raised a hand up.

"Katie, Sierra, why don't you two relax? Stay in your seats. Sierra, you've done so much for me already by running all of those fan clubs! And Katie, well... I don't think you could handle this."

("Train Confessional")

Katie, mounting her own camera up, facing her on the train seat: I mean, she's right.
*Train violently shakes; Katie grips a hold on the chair.*
Katie: See? Right now, they're fighting that "bear" and I'm still down here!

(Caboose)

Heather stood proudly at the very back end of the train, looking out at-

Yep. The bear's getting closer. It was running faster than the train. Then again, the bear could breathe fire, so it wasn't too surprising.

Oh, right. 'Was' because he suddenly stopped, putting his hands on his knees. Panting. Looking like he was just about to give up.

"Okay, Izzy, this is your chance." Heather said, patting that contestant on the back.

"What do you mean?"

"Izzy, you've wanted to be a real hero, right? And not just someone who childishly screams at the 'bad guys?'"

"...Uh, now, maybe? Yeah?" She replied.

"Well, this train is full of innocent people! And that bear's charging right for it! But you, I know you've handled animals like this before!"

"Um..."

"Okay, that's a lucky guess!" Bridgette told Heather. "But... yes."

"So you're the one to do this!" Heather ignored Bridgette's claim completely. "Go out there and fight! Save people! And... whatever you feel you need!"

"I got it!" Izzy pounded a palm. "I know what I have to do!"

"Wait- wait! I don't!" Bridgette said.

Izzy lept off the railing and, despite the train's speed, she landed perfectly.

"Izzy!" Bridgette shouted. "Are you crazy?! Uh-" she caught on to that. "I mean, well... I... shoot!"

Bridgette also lept off after her but, because of the train's speed, her landing was far from perfect. She basically 'landed on her hands,' her arms hitting the ground first, the side of her head following after.

"I'M GONNA REDEEM MYSELF!" Izzy shouted.

"...Redeem from what?!" Bridgette asked. "Izzy, what are you doing?!"

She didn't listen to Bridgette either. As far as Izzy was concerned, the mood was set. Surrounding her was open tundra - the air was frigid and the land was barren, a perfect atmosphere in Izzy's mind to take down the massive, superpowered bear threat.

With one battle cry, Izzy rushed her way towards the bear. Which only looked her in the eye the whole time-

The bear fired lasers from his eyes, zapping Izzy, knocking her to the ground.

"Izzy!" Bridgette cried, running towards her, getting a slight shock herself from the lasers. She placed her hands on her girlfriend's shoulders. Well, once that voltage went down, anyway.

"Okay, the laser eyes caught me off guard." Izzy said. "But I think I can-"

The bear just walked up to both of them and swatted them out of the way. Sending them flying in to what had to be the only tree for kilometers.

Bridgette and Izzy both dropped the prizes, which the bear noticed. He sniffed the dowsing rod, tossed it aside, and then the meat grinder.

He ended up taking the meat grinder.

("Team Killer Jackrabbits")

Gwen groaned, examining the damaged car - while taking care to continue going at full speed towards the possible direction of the island.

"I technically won this! This is mine to keep! And look!" She reached a hand out to tap on to the side-view mirror. Without even touching the glass, it cracked. "Eva practically broke the thing! And this is a nice car, too!"

"Yeah, I still can't believe Ezekiel picked this."

"Eva deserves to be hospitalized again."

"Preachin' to the choir."

"If I see her again, I think I might run her over. Any objections?"

"Were you watching what she did to Sadie?!" Beth asked. "I'm actually kinda surprised you didn't do that the first time."

A computerized voice from the slightly damaged car said something. A single word that was not taken note of by any of the five contestants (Lindsay's bear prize, on the other hand, did), as they already got the jist of which road to take: "Recalculating..."

"Let's look at the numbers here. This car costs... what? How many thousands would you say this is? Three? Four? It's-"

"Recalculating..." Second time. That got Gwen and Leshawna's (and the bear's) attention.

"Wait, it's not showing the old route." Leshawna said.

"We're almost out in the middle of the tundra. Maybe there's just bad coverage here since nobody lives here, and nobody drives here."

"Recalculating...

"Error. Global positioning system failed. Sufficient damage to tracking chip. Shutting-"

A small explosion came from around the front of the car.

"Did..." Gwen brought the car to an instant stop, eyes wide. "Did Eva break my GPS too?!"

"...Yep." Replied Beth. "But we can still use our phones!"

All five of them tried exactly that- okay, Lindsay didn't. Due to her lack of clothes, she didn't really have any place for her phone to be. Still, four phones, four tries-

Zero bars between all of them.

"Shoot." Said Leshawna. "Let's just find people and ask around."

Everyone looked around.

They were in a long, winding path going up some mountains.

"First, we'll need to find a town first. Augh!" Gwen cried. "I know with Eva's helicopter being blown up, we have the fastest mode of transporation, but it still feels like we're wasting so much time because of her!"

She switched to reverse and-

"Girl, we drove through miles of nothing. Why back up? At least if we go forward, we'll probably get to a town sooner." Leshawna said. "On account of how much nothing we drove through."

(Train)

"HEY! HEY EVERYBODY!" Sierra cheered/shouted towards, well, everyone on the train. "HEATHER, THE GREATEST CONTESTANT OF TOTAL ZEKSMIT, JUST SAVED EVERYBODY FROM A MUTANT BEAR ATTACK!"

Silence followed. And stares. Plenty of stares.

"SHE SAVED US ALL! CHEER FOR HER!"

More silence.

"DO IT!"

About half of the train reluctantly gave some small, confused cheers, while the other half legitimately seemed to regard Heather as a hero, the volume of their cheers fitting accordingly.

Except for one person. A heavyset woman, with a large pair of sunglasses, and a hat. Wearing a black trenchcoat.

"YOU!" Sierra shouted, pointing at her. "WHY AREN'T YOU CHEERING?!"

The woman stood up-

Yep. Sadie.

"SADIE?!" Asked Sierra. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! WAIT- I- I KNEW IT! YOU AND KATIE WERE SECRETLY PLOTTING AGAINST ME AND HEATHER!"

"What?! NO!" Katie shouted back. "I didn't know about any of this!"

"LIAR! You did!"

"Wh- why do you think that? Sadie and I... we're not exactly friends anymore!"

Sierra rolled her eyes. "Obviously you were just saying that so that you could forge an alliance in secret!"

"We didn't even know about the special!"

"Aha! You said 'we!'"

"That's because nobody knew except for Heather!"

"I knew too! And I'm not even a camper!"

"You knew because you stalk Ezekiel for a living!"

"Ladies, ladies!" Heather stood up, pushing her hands out. "Please! If anything, we could use the extra help on our alliance! After all, we just lost two of our members!"

"Wait... really?!" Katie asked. "What happened to Izzy and Bridgette?"

"Oh, they just gave themselves to slow down the Mutant Bear. You know, greater good."

"That doesn't sound-"

"Look, don't worry about it. They might not be able to win, but think: with our alliance, we can be sure that Eva won't be winning. Katie, Sadie, isn't that the one thing you two can agree on?"

"Oh yeah." Sadie said.

(Faux-Killer Jackrabbits)

"Okay! Thanks! You were great help! I promise if I win, I'll split with you!" Leshawna said right before Gwen drove off.

"Do you even know that guy's name?" Gwen asked.

"No, but if he really cared then he'd try to find a way to bug me about the money. Besides, I got kicked off third. The odds aren't on my side."

"You only lost because of us, though." Courtney said. "We- I- I did something stupid. That whole challenge was embarassing."

"Don't worry about it.

"Well, at least not until we get to the island."

"Speaking of the island," Gwen said, "that's it!"

She pointed out the driver's seat window. And, it bears mentioning although Gwen was the only one paying attention to the surroundings, that they were parked atop a mountain, overlooking a particular massive lake.

It was beautiful. (At least from a distance.) Far, far across in to the ends of the lake - almost by the horizon - was a peak at richness. An island, glistening. Natural. Made of fresh greens and sunset oranges-

Oh. Speaking of sunsets, the sun was setting by that point.

"So let's drive over there!" Cheered Leshawna.

And then they heard the last voice they'd want to hear:

Eva's.

"SURPRISEEEEE ATTAAAAAACK!"

Somehow during their drive up the mountain, Eva and Justin managed to slip by their radar. (That somehow, by the way, was through careful driving. Very careful driving. Hiding behind every rock in the mountain)

The most musucular contestant charged at the car before any of her competetors had a chance to even get out.

She lightly pushed on the back of the car, sending it flying down the mountain.

Eva dusted her hands.

"...Are you sure that's even legal?" Justin asked.

"All I did was move an automobile!" Eva was fairly obviously lying to herself and Justin alike. She knew it, he knew it, it was clearer than freshly-made, unstained, chipless glass. Yet still, Eva cracked a smirk at her own lie. "How bad can it be?!"

(The Car)

All six (including the bear) members of the party screamed as they were sent shooting down that one mountain like a rocket.

Making matters worse was when they ramped off a rock - which was coated in snow, yet the part they fell on was not - and saw an exceptionally large tree down the path. That they would run right in to.

"WE HAVE TO BAIL!" Leshawna shouted.

"I KNOW!" Gwen cried back. "I'M JUST NOT JUMPING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE - I MEAN - THIS IS MY CAR! IT'S A HARD CHOICE!"

"OH, FORGET IT!"

Leshawna grabbed Gwen by the arm and lept out with her. It was a rough fall, but one that they managed to survive, with some handy rolling. In a relatively flat patch of ground that had more dirt than stone.

"WHAT DO WE DO?!" Lindsay asked.

Sighing, Courtney grabbed a hold on both her and Beth - and looked to see that the bear already made a similar escape.

"Just hold on tight." She said.

And she, too, pulled out her teammates and rolled through the dirt.

Seconds before the legendary brand new car crashed. And exploded.

The team - bear included - sighed, panting as they stood up.

"We're still all in first place, right?" Leshawna asked.

"NOPE!" Eva shouted, flying by them in a navy-colored blur.

Ah, Eva had taken some random rock and surfed it down the mountain. Going through the snow was easy enough, but she somehow also went down the drier, rockier path, making it look easy.

"We still have, like, half a mountain to go!" Gwen shouted. "And no car! And I don't think any of us can just surf down there like Eva could! What did she even do, just pick a rock up?! Break it out of the ground?!"

(Unknown Confessional)

Eva: Yep. I did exactly that. Proud of it, too.

And Gwen gave one last question: "How are we supposed to make it there?!"

As if to answer it, the 'friendly' bear walked up to her and nuzzled her shoulder affectionately.

"...The bear." Leshawna said. "We'll ride the bear!"

"Um, can I ride too?" Justin asked sheepishly.

The five contestants turned around, seeing him standing there.

"...After the way you treated us like score points? No." Leshawna replied.

"But- I left the Car of Failure all the way up there, and..."

"How did you even get down here so fast?" Gwen asked him.

"...I got caught in the moment, wanted to 'rock surf' with Eva, but then I just fell off."

"Yeah, no."

Lindsay bounced her butt a little as she adjusted to the very back of the bear.

"HOW'S THIS?!" She asked Justin. "Am I on just right? Do I look okay?"

Justin paused, flat-faced. "I... I don't know how to answer that without sounding weird. To be honest, Lindsay, ever since you started parading around naked, I... don't know anymore."

"Blame Ezekiel! He gave me the idea!"

"I blame Ezekiel for a lot of things already. But not that."

Also, she was pressing up against Beth right in front of her, who was blushing all over. In front of her was a considerably more collected and serious Courtney. Then Gwen, then Leshawna at the front, holding her guide.

"Okay, I see boats up there!" Leshawna said. "Since we all have all our cash, maybe we can pool it together and rent one!"

"That sounds like a much better idea than what I had." Beth commented. "I mean, I just thought the bear could swim us there."

The bear shook his head.

And then it marched on forth, hind legs kicking Justin in the face.

By accident.

(Train Station)

"Look alive, girls!" Heather said, rushing out of the train's doors. "Come on! This is our stop! ...I'm not slowing down!"

Katie, Sadie, and Sierra followed after her. Running. Sierra managed to outrun the 'twins' despite still holding on to that Ezekiel statue.

"Like I said," continued Heather, "the second we get to the island, it's every girl for herself! But that doesn't mean I'll slow myself down so that you can catch up!"

"How are we going to cross the lake?" Asked Katie.

Heather chuckled. "This train station is right by some docks. I'm running to them now!"

"Why are you even running?! I mean, we took a train to get there! Aside from Eva's helicopter, we should be there first!"

That got Heather to stop.

"I mean... well, like you said, Eva's there, but...

"Huh. I guess I am winning, so I could let my guard down-"

She immediately took back what she said when she looked ahead of herself and saw the reunited Killer Jackrabbits, having just finished some deal with some guy, getting on board a boat. That 'some guy' counted a hundred total dollars.

"YOU!" Heather shouted. "You ripped off my idea!"

Gwen turned to look at her. While the others were already boarding the boat.

"Huh? No... what did you do?"

"Take a train!"

"I took my prized car!"

Grumbling, Heather marched up to the boat owner.

"You there!" She shouted. "Give us that boat! Or, another one!"

"...This is the only boat I have."

"Well then give us that one!"

"I'm sorry, but do you have five hundred bucks and a hot naked chick like that group does?"

"N-no! We... we had six hundred, but we spent a lot of it on train tickets... and then two of us, uh, 'dropped out' of what we're doing... uh, Katie! Sierra! Let's get naked! ...Not you, Sadie." Smirking nervously, Heather turned to the man. "I mean, unless by some miracle you're also in to-

"I have a solid gold statue of a naked hottie right here!" Sierra said, holding up the Ezekiel statue.

The man who owned the boat cringed in horror. To make matters worse for Heather (and Katie and Sadie), the boat of 'Team Killer Jackrabbits' started moving. "Ew, what is tha-"

Then his opinion on the statue 180'd after realizing something. "Wait a minute, did you say solid gold?!"

He put on one of those magnifiers for one eye, examining the statue. "Hot DANG! You know, you can melt it down and sell it, so that you can get a much better boat!"

He looked back at the group. Heather was already naked, grinning like an idiot. But nobody else was.

"Uh. No. And look, I was mostly kidding about the 'hot naked chick' part. I mostly want the money. And you have it."

"But I'd never sell this!" Sierra complained.

"No, you didn't hear me right: I said melt it down and then sell it. That thing is worth way less the way it is right now."

"'Melt?!' 'Thing?!' 'Worth way less?!'"

"Calm down, Sierra!" Heather said, trying to put her shorts back on with one hand and pat Sierra on the back with the other. To the guy, she said, "you know what? I have a different plan."

She ran up to another boat person, having since re-dressed herself. One with a larger, considerably fancier ride that dwarved the other boats. Heck, that was practically a ship.

Because of her hurry, Heather failed to notice the breathing straw sticking up from the side of that ship.

"Hey! You! Lady! Why don't we just trade this statue for a boat?! It's made of solid gold! I'll lend it back, Sierra will get her statue back, and we're all good!"

"...Do I look like an idiot?" Replied the ship's owner. "What, exactly, will I do with a statue while I have it? I can't sell it if I want the boat back."

"And I won't let you sell it!" Sierra shouted at her.

"Well, uh... look, I was in a panic." Heather sighed. "I can't sell the statue outright because-"

"NO!" Sierra cried yet again, hugging on to the Ezekiel figure dearly.

"Yeah. You see?"

Then she took notice of Katie and Sadie. Specifically, their weapons. Or, the weapon of one of them, and the ammo of the other.

"Ooh, that's a rare brand of gun and a rare brand of bullet! Now that is something I want! Unless you two over there are clingy about those?!"

Katie and Sadie exchanged glances.

Katie finally sighed.

"Okay, fine! We'll work together... just to sell these stupid things."

("Team Killer Jackrabbits")

"Wow," Gwen said, digging through a cooler. "This boat has a lot of bait and beer."

"You know, I haven't seen Izzy or Bridgette in a while..." said Beth. "I mean, Eva just kinda passed us and disappeared, and everybody else was on that team. But Izzy and Bridgette vanished as soon as the challenge started. I hope they're okay, they didn't get lost like we did..."

"Knowing them, they might have won the challenge already. I mean, they're them, and Ezekiel seems to have some bias towards... them. I've already said 'them' too much."

Beth shrugged. "I guess you're right-"

"Hold on to that bait." Leshawna said. Her eyes were stuck on the wildlife guide as their ride rushed the group towards their destination. "It's important."

"Why?" Asked Lindsay. Who, by calling shotgun, was next to the captain - by process of elimination, of course, Courtney. "Is there some kind of big, scary seamonster that like worms?"

"Yes." Leshawna answered. "Except for the worms part. She really likes bread."

"Oh, check." Gwen said, holding up an entire loaf of the stuff. Still unopened from its pack. "I hope Boat Guy isn't mad if we use this.

And then Leshawna looked off to the side, over back towards the shore they came from. "We might have to. Look who's tailing us!"

They did, looking at the other vessel that was quickly catching up to them.

Lindsay squinted. "Who is that? Like, I can see the person, I just don't recognize her."

("Team Heather")

Of course, their fancy, more expensive, rare gun-worth ship was bigger and, more importantly, faster. Heather, for some reason, put on a sea captain's hat as she looked like she was going to tear the reformed Jackrabbits apart.

Because Heather wasn't nearly as sadistic and brutal as Eva, though, she didn't do that just yet. She simply passed them, sending a wave hitting the five of them.

Which also ruined Leshawna's guide and Beth's magazines.

Beth shrieked in horror. While Lindsay just commented, "Hey, you can, like, use the Internet for that stuff now."

Leshawna just took out the pack of bread, ripped a hole in it, and threw it, giving a quiet "Yes!" to herself as it successfully landed on the back.

Anyway, things were going fairly well as Wawanakwa went from being a small dot to a half-circle (with that cliff goal on visible on the far side) to reaching the point where, should one use binoculars, the trees were visible as more than just a weird green blob.

Things were going pretty well until a hand climbed aboard. Followed by a body. Heaving, with a breathing straw sticking from her mouth.

That person landed right in front of Katie and Sadie, getting them to gasp.

"EVA!" They both shouted.

Eva - covered in seaweed and with bloodshot eyes - stared down at the two.

Heather turned around and outright snarled at her.

"HEY! YOU!" She shouted. "I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOU STEALING MY SPOTLIGHT! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE QUEEN OF THE SHOW! THE CAMPER EVERYONE WAS AFRAID OF! YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST GIRL KICKED OFF! HECK, EZEKIEL SHOULD HAVE BROKEN HIS 'NO RETURNS' RULE, BROUGHT YOU BACK, ONLY FOR US TO VOTE YOU OFF AGAIN!"

"WHATEVER!" Eva cried back. "I'll deal with you when I get to the island!"

A little ways down, Katie and Sadie's rush away from their hidden foe was stopped when a certain, familiar animal swam its way through the lake and lept atop the other end of the boat, also glaring at them.

"MUTANT BEAR!" They both shouted.

And Eva charged. Running right past Sadie and Katie, looking at the beast as it roared at her.

"YOU THINK I'M SCARED OF YOU?! YOU DESTROYED MY HELICOPTER! NOW, YOU GET TO DIE!"

With just one punch to the side of the face, the Mutant Bear was stunned. The two formerly-alike best friend contestants looked on in horror as they saw Eva leap on the back of the beast, getting on its neck and mounting it.

"BOTH!" Katie and Sadie screamed one last time.

From the front, Heather sighed.

"SIERRA!" She shouted.

With the Ezekiel Statue(TM) still in her hands, Sierra loyally went up to Heather's side. She even gave a salute.

"Please fight Eva and beat her, so that Katie and Sadie will know not to think she's any kind of threat."

Then she felt hot breath on the back of her neck.

Hot ursine breath.

Hot mutated ursine breath.

Heather turned around, seeing Eva standing right behind (well, in front of after the turn) her, on the Mutant Bear.

"I HEARD THAT!" Shouted Eva. "You think you can steal the mantle of the most threatening contestant out from under ME?! I... I forgot what your name was..."

(Unknown Confessional)

Heather: ...*Chuckles.*

(Off Wawanakwa Shores, Basically, by This Point)

Heather's boat passed a peculiar spot - or, really, just a peculiar radius around the island.

Beneath the surface, a massive eye opened.

A being smelled something magnificent.

Bread.

Back on the larger ship, Heather faced Eva with a grin, but she was clearly sweating.

"UM, SIERRA!" She said. "WHERE ARE YOU?!"

After what felt like an eternity, Sierra finally got out of a private room with the golden statue in her hands, the latter object of which was covered in lipstick markings. Mostly on the face, though. Relax.

Mostly.

"Honestly," Sierra chuckled as she approached Eva and the Mutant Bear. "I don't see what the big deal is-"

And then, with one flick to the neck, Eva got the bear to swat the statue clear out of Sierra's hands, sending it crashing in to the lake.

Suddenly, the smile Sierra had in spite of her tough opponent went away.

"You... my... MY STATUE! IT'S GONE!"

As if Sierra was the cause of it, a gigantic, jade green tentacle rose from the sea shortly after that outburst.

Sierra didn't even notice it, but every single other eye was on it. More tentacles followed, but the focus did not change.

The obsessed fan instead charged at Eva, Mutant Bear and all, ready to knock her right off-

Then one of the tentacles slashed the ship clean in half.

Down the width, though, not the length. Everyone was on the 'front half...' well, enough to be together on one chunk.

Regardless, though, the ship ended up falling over. To its side.

"MY SHIP!" Sierra cried. "MY LITERAL- wait I just walked right in to making a 'shipping' joke, didn't I?"

Groaning, Eva shouted "WHATEVER! I don't have time to deal with you, Sierra! Or Katie! Or Sadie! Or that nobody over there! Come on, Mutant! You can fly, right?!"

Short answer: Yes... no. Y'sno.

The Mutant Bear lept towards the skies from the point he and Eva were on in the doomed vessel. The legendary island itself was just a short distance from the point of the Cthulhu-ian attack, so it looked like from the large jump that the duo would make it.

But then it crashed in to the water.

And meanwhile, as even more tentacles emerged and slapped around - gunning for the bread - Courtney drove right towards the larger boat. Her focus was still on getting to the island, she didn't slow down. But she still had something to say:

"WHAT was that?!"

Leshawna smirked. "That is Snakey."

"...'Snakey?'"

"It's what the dude who discovered her named her!"

"'...Her?!'"

"I don't want to get in to it, and I skimmed that part, but there's boy tentacle sea monsters, and girl tentacle sea monsters. But trust me. That thing's a girl. According to the guide."

Gwen just stared out.

"So, how come we're safe?"

"She only wants the bread. And she couldn't smell it in its package. Our boat-owner here must've known about that thing, so we got lucky."

Courtney sighed. "Okay, guys, be careful. I'm going to go right through that."

"Yeah," Gwen turned around at the last two crewmates, "hold on to your hat-"

Oh.

That giant splash Heather threw on Lindsay must have knocked off her hat.

Gwen saying that common statement wasn't what tipped Lindsay off. She knew it was just an expression. What did it, on the other hand, was the wide-eyed stare that she was giving her. That prompted the blonde to reach up and ruffle through her hair.

Gwen sighed. "Should I cover my ears? I don't think this is gonna be pretty."

"I'M NAKED!" Yep. Lindsay shrieked that at top volume.

"I NEED SOMETHING IN MY HAIR! I NEED SOMETHING IN MY HAIR! A FULL BANDANA AT LEAST! A HAT WOULD BE PREFERRED! COURTNEY?!" Courtney shook her head at that request from Lindsay. "LESHAWNA?! BETH?! GWEN?! AUGH!"

She dove in to the lake.

To the objection of everybody with her. A simultaneous cry of four "NO!"s at once.

Lindsay splashed around a bit, turning in all directions, until she saw what she was looking for.

The hat. Bobbling towards the horizon.

"HAT!" Lindsay cried ut to it. "HAT! NO, NO, HAT!"

"Turn this around!" Gwen said-

Oh. Courtney was already doing that.

And, somehow, (the Cthulhu-ian attack kinda overshadowed it. In fact, that monster was still thrashing around) nobody noticed the cruise ship heading to her location until right around then.

Lindsay did. While still flailing to try to get to the hat, she screamed: "HELP! HELP! I'M NAKED! HELP! I! AM! NAKED!"

The ship sped over to her. And had a ladder, plunged right in the water, near her.

"Wait, someone else is saving her!" Leshawna shouted.

"Yeah, but- she's a friend now!"

"Eva's on the island! And look, she's getting on the ladder!"

"But- I-"

It turned out Lindsay was a fast climber, too. She was well out of the water and up her way to the cruise ship. And that was with her pausing to look back, constantly, at the hat.

Until one of the tentacles swiped the hat down, dragging it to the depths.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Lindsay cried.

"Yep." Leshawna said. Even Courtney stopped the boat. "She's fine."

"But-" Courtney sighed. "Okay."

She turned it back around.

(The Cruise Ship)

Lindsay did, in fact, climb on board. It was not until after she lifted herself on it that she started screaming at the top of her lungs:

"I'M NAKED!" She shouted.

Everyone ran up to her-

She swatted a hat from one of the cruise-goers, then cheerfully waved at the whole crowd around her. "Okay, nevermind, I have clothes now. Thank you for lending me your hat."

"I didn't lend you my hat-" she began to protest. But then looked at Lindsay for a second, and took it back. "-I mean, uh. Sure. You're welcome!"

"Anyway, do you think you can get me to that island over there?"

Everyone stopped chatting.

"No." The same person who 'gave' Lindsay her hat said. "The captain's kind of... strict about the cruise staying on line. In fact, the first mate or whatever really had to twist his arm to get him to stop the boat and save you. You can just stay here and relax until we get back to shore. You know, there's an all you can eat buffet, games... it's clothing optional, so you can stay as naked as you want!"

Lindsay giggled. "I'm not naked. I have a hat."

(Cruise Ship Confessional)

Lindsay, eating on a plate of shrimp: Mmrfph. Mmf mmph mrrrf mirrim.
Lindsay: *Swallows.*
Lindsay: Sorry, I mean to say... I think I'm out of the game! I mean, there's no way I can catch up now! This sucks! ...But the food here is nice!

(Wawanakwa Island)

"TO THE CLIFF!" Beth cried, marching in towards the greenery with the rest of her crew following.

Ezekiel, Geoff, Harold, and Kathy all stepped out with the widest grins on their faces, the former cheering "WELCOME TO WAWANAK-"

The four competetors disappeared in the bushes.

"...Aw." Ezekiel said. "I didn't get to properly greet the first four."

"Hang on." Kathy remarked.

Sure enough, the four contestants came bursting out, just a short distance from the way they came in.

"Okay." Said Beth. "This island is way harder to navigate than the plains."

"WELCOME TO WAWANAKWA!" Ezekiel got to properly announce. "So, Beth! Courtney! Gwen! Leshawna! Great to have you all here! Do you need a reminder on what you have to do?"

"Um, no, we're good." Leshawna said. She turned around. "Look! We can just follow the beach and go to the cliff from there! Let's GO!"

She took off, along with Gwen and Courtney. Beth, on the other hand, shot a glare at the four-out-of-five show staff, and went up to Kathy.

She slapped the blood-redhead

"Ow! But not really!" Kathy said.

"That's for sexually harassing Lindsay! SCREW YOU! I like your cousin better!"

"Which one?"

"The one with that bright yellow hair!"

"...Again, that's not gonna help-"

"The one that directs horror movies! She's like you, only better!"

Beth took off too.

"Well, that's, um... huh." Said Geoff. "A thing. That's a thing."

Eva got on the shores too - or rather, she was on the back of ol' Mutant Bear, who swam the rest of the way from his jump.

Exiting the water, Eva ended up pushing Kathy to the side by complete accident.

"MOVE! Whoever you are!" She shouted.

"Oh, hey... Eva!" Ezekiel said. "To be honest, I'm glad you didn't-"

Eva was out of eyesight by then and went in to the forest, but Ezekiel could still hear the following:

"YOUR PRECIOUS CAMP BURNED TO THE GROUND!"

The host frowned. "Wait... what, really?"

(Heather's Group)

"SIERRA!" Heather shouted. "SIERRA! PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE A WAY OUT OF THIS!"

A growing number of tentacles sprouted from the ground, threatening to turn the open waters in to a forest.

Heather had a grip on the front of the vessel as it began to tilt in to the lake. Thankfully, it wasn't sinking as fast as the back half was; that one was practically under water. Katie and Sadie were both huddled up in the part that nearly hit the bottom. Sierra, finally, was proudly standing on the peak of the ship that remained. She was atop what was the front railing, looking out like an edgy comic book hero over a city.

"I think I do! Let me find the life boat!"

"I should be telling you that! As a command!"

Ah, there.

The leviathan-kracken monster finally wrapped a tentacle on the bread. And pulled it under.

There were some fairly loud chomping noises heard from deep below.

What happened, depending on one's stance on morality or belief in fate and chance, could either be described as a miracle or an anti-miracle.

The tentacles disappeared. And then, the beast in her entirety lept out of the seas, with Heather and company on her back:

So, the creature did not resemble a squid or an octopus. Not at all. She was more of a ball of tentacles, with a single, pulsating, cubical heart-like organ in the middle, and a series of eyes that went out from all around on all of those appendages.

...That was basically it.

"There!" Heather said, from the skies above Wawanakwa. "If we jump off here, maybe we can-"

"You want us to JUMP?!" Asked Katie. Snakey was able to stay in the air, right over the island for a bit, thanks to her 'core' having a pair of wings sprouting from it. "ARE YOU CRAZY?!"

"Well, no, maybe not jump, but-"

Heather grabbed a hold on one of the tentacles and tossed it down. Like a rope, she took another grip and slid down on it - oh. It would have landed her right in the middle of the cliff.

"HURRY!" She shouted. "OR NOT! LIKE I SAID, EVERYONE FOR HERSELF WHEN WE GET TO THE ISLAND!"

Sierra followed immediately.

Katie and Sadie, on the other hand, looked at one-another. Sadie ended up charging, going down first. And while Katie did follow, it was mainly out of fear of drowning in the middle of the lake once Snakey re-submerged herself.

(Wawanakwa Cliff Side; a Few Moments Ago)

"You know," Gwen said as she ran up the mountain with her team, "after everything, I forgot you even had a wagon."

"I kinda did too." Courtney explained. "It was stached away in the car. Then I just carried it... and left it on the boat. I'm kinda surprised it wasn't washed away when Heather splashed us."

"That thing's the last vehicle we got." Leshawna said.

"Why are we even still running together?" Beth asked her three remaining companions. And the bear too, maybe. "I thought we kinda agreed that getting to the lake or the island was when we'd stop."

"Mmm... no." Gwen said. "I'm in favor of us sticking together until Eva's out."

"Also, what do we do about that?"

Beth pointed to Snakey, looming above.

"Her species can't stay on land for too long." Leshawna remarked. "I don't remember how long, since Heather destroyed my guide, but still. But she'll be in the ocean and we don't have to worry too much about her anymore. She's probably just thanking me or whoever for the bread. I know she's not gonna drop anything nasty on us."

She did.

A tentacle containing one (1) Heather.

Also, Katie, Sadie, and Sierra, but two out of three of those at least were less evil.

"Well well well..." Heather said, looking between her four current opponents. "Look who we have-"

"Either fight Eva with us or move!" Leshawna shouted, her and the others running past her.

"Wait- but-" Heather whipped her head around. "I... I got Bridgette and Izzy kicked off! Isn't that-!"

She then noticed that Katie and Sadie were running with them.

"What?!" Sadie asked. "You said it was everyone for herself when we reach the island! Why aren't you running with us?!"

"Because- SHUT UP!"

It didn't matter.

Eva, still in the front of everyone, turned around with her mutant bear.

"Fire." She coldly said.

The bear didn't set the entire island on fire. He just shot enough flames to make a wall of the stuff, blocking off the path of all the other eight competetors.

"AW!" Gwen said. "She's gonna win after all!"

Courtney looked. The fire wasn't spreading as fast as it did back in Zekitunakwa (although not that any of the contestants knew that), and the bear hardly shot too much in the first place... it wasn't that high...

"No. No she won't. Not if I have anything to say about it."

The C.I.T. lifted her wagon over her shoulders, and climbed on the shoulders of Lindsay's bear.

"Okay, you ready?" Courtney asked.

The bear nodded.

"Then let's go."

They charged through the flames.

So. Gwen, Leshawna, Beth, Katie, Sadie, Heather, Sierra.

They were basically left in the dust.

(Wawanakwa Cliff Top)

Eva scowled.

Why?

Because Ezekiel neglected to mention that the 'box' was made out of some tough metal.

Still, she flipped off of her ride and gave it a quick scan.

(Unknown Confes- oh, What the Heck? It's Wawanakwa's)

Eva: So I thought I've broken tougher...

Eva punched the box.

It was successfully dented, but she ended up reeling her hand back in pain, shaking it out.

And her legs started giving out, making her drop to the ground.

(Wawanakwa Confessional. For future reference, all headers that just say "confessional" in TZP from this point onwards are Wawanakwa's)

Eva: ...But I forgot about my STUPID injury from the final challenge!

"Need some help there, Eva?"

The weightlifter froze when she heard Courtney say that, climbing to the top, with a smirk on her face and her prize from the inaccurately-named Claw of Awe in her hand.

"No... NO!" Eva cried. "You already won your prize money! Why should YOU of all people get a second chance?! To get even MORE money?! Ezekiel should have disqualified you!"

"Honestly, you're right."

Eva blinked. "...What?"

(Confessional)

Eva: I've had a lot of people say that to me. Mostly out of fear. "You're right." I've heard that so many times in my life that I've just become used to it.
Eva: ...But from Courtney?! That got to me. On a personal level. That feels weird.
Eva: I'm not big on metaphysics, but it honestly felt like reality broke when she said that. Well, it felt like that to me, anyway.

Courtney: *Sighs, blushes a little.* Harold would probably say that this is something of a "character arc." I should have said "hi" to him when I got on the island, I know, but... well, I did later! That counts, right? That's what's important?

"You know we're not evenly-matched, right?! You might have some kind of freakish mutant strength, but MY bear is better than yours!" Eva taunted. "Justin told me! All that toxic waste made him a BADASS! Don't come in this fight expecting to win! Or even live!"

"I wasn't."

(Confessional)

Eva: WHO IS THIS WOMAN and what happened to that arrogant little BRAT back in Zekitunakwa?!

"I didn't get on this bear and push past the fire to win." Courtney said, calmly and collectively. Trying to ignore the pathos-killer that was the bright red wagon on her back and the bear below her legs. "I came up here so that you'd lose."

"ENOUGH TALKING! THE OTHER SEVEN MIGHT CLIMB THEIR WAY UP HERE! RAUGH!"

Eva got the mutated bear to charge on forth, steam emerging from its nostrils.

Courtney's bear blocked the first few swipes. Growling as much as his rider, the tinted bear brought both of his front paws down to claw not at the animal, but the animal's tamer above, and got both of them caught.

Not wanting to be outdone, the mutant bear spewed ever-more flames out of his mouth, forcing the genetically standard bear to duck. Courtney did, as well, and looked up to see the metal of her wagon start to melt.

So she tossed her Claw prize off and to the ground. And then delt a few swipes over at Eva personally - which ended with a tackle, knocking her off of the Mutant Bear.

And then something magical happened.

The non-mutant bear began to pound on his fire-breathing co-species member, before the latter held out a paw to get him to stop.

Lindsay/Courtney's bear actually seemed to listen.

What followed was the Mutant Bear saying something in some kind of 'language' of grunts and growls. A lot of pointing followed. At Eva. And then somewhere down on Wawanakwa proper - both Eva and Courtney knew that he was talking about Ezekiel.

Ol' Nonmutant Bear nodded, and the two ursine warriors casually turned away and walked down the side of the cliff.

"Well. That was a thing." Courtney said.

"I don't know what happened, but I'm pretty sure neither of us have bears anymore."

"Shoot... and mine was better..."

Courtney shrugged. "Yeah, it was. My bear didn't breathe fire."

They both looked at one-another.

And then stood up, rushing towards the tightly-locked steel box that was all that stood between them and the prize.

Well, that and each other.

(Path Up the Cliff, Some Time Ago)

Sierra, not that surprisingly, was the one most effective at fanning out the flames.

"Sierra, care to make sure I can get through?" Heather asked. Fluttering her eyes.

"Wait, why?" Asked Katie. "I thought it was everyone for-"

"Because Sierra likes me."

Sierra nodded. Both at Heather's request and at Heather's latest statement. "Yep! I'd gladly give up the challenge if it means you winning! Her and Ezekiel, my favorites!"

She actually managed to give a kick that fanned out all the flames, clearing a path for everyone.

And, of course, they ran.

(Cliff Top)

Courtney and Eva had their arms locked.

Both of them were equidistant from the metal box, but neither was willing to let the other move towards it.

And they meant that. Kicking ensued to try to move their feet closer, but because of the constant over-stepping and bumping, it looked somewhat more like they were dancing. That was, until Courtney pulled off a move in no healthy dance: outright throwing Eva off. On the wagon.

She turned and looked. The other seven contestants had made their way up.

Seeing Eva looking like she was ready to leap up and charge for either the money or Courtney (actually, her target was the latter by that point), the C.I.T. gave a dash at the bodybuilder and pounced her, pinning her to the wagon.

Then, Courtney very deliberately kicked at the ground, sending the wagon on a path where it would fly down the cliff.

Not yet, though. Its wheels were still on the flat part, but that steep, steep slope leading back to the forest was approaching.

"...You know you're giving up the cash at this point, right?!" Eva asked.

"Again. I just want to make sure you're not winning."

"...Well, honestly, same here!"

And Courtney said the following with a smirk: "Okay, than you shouldn't have any problem with this."

Perfect timing, the wagon reached the tipping point, and it carried itself and the last two competetors down.

Gwen and Leshawna actually stopped and smiled at that Katie took a brief moment to rest after the hike up the hill, with Sadie being just about the only one to actually make it up towards the metal box. "Oh, good, Eva's not gonna get this after all! Wow that was close!" The latter said.

"Wha- I'm still here, guys!" Heather shouted. "I'm still the big, bad threat that needs to be- oh, forget it! SIERRA! Break that box! I mean, what IS that thing, anyway?"

Sierra saluted Heather. "On it!"

Sadie had, at least, been trying to hit at the box. Sierra, on the other hand, just threw one punch at it, popping the cube's top side off.

Everybody else - even Heather, actually - gasped, making a run for the sealed crate. But without thinking too much, Sadie shoulder-slammed in to it, knocking it off the cliff.

Seven "NO!"s followed.

But only six people actually made the move to follow after the discarded block of cash.

Heather, Gwen, Leshawna, Katie, Sadie, and Sierra all made a leap of faith. Off the cliff, in to the lake.

Beth stayed up.

"WHAT?!" She asked. "I'm... I'm not jumping off! I- uh..."

Then the realization that nobody could hear her hit her.

(Cliff Side)

Katie and Sadie soon regretted their leap, screaming on the way down.

The other four, on the other hand, were in the middle of an intense fist-fight.

Or, mostly, it was Sierra trying to slap at Leshawna and Gwen. Heather feigned reaching in for some punches, but her eyes were locked on the box-

YES! The box slammed in to a rock, breaking it up, sending the briefcase flying out by itself.

Heather just reached her hand out-

And grabbed the case, getting a grin from her. All she needed to do was open-

All eyes were on her.

Yelling out, Gwen and Leshawna dove through the air at her. Sadie and Katie followed after a moment of confusion, resulting in all four of them gripping on the shiny object. Finally, Sierra let out a cry in horror, practically swimming through the air to join them.

None of them could get it open. And then, they all hit the water.

Six hands rose up, all of which holding the briefcase.

The case opened. And then it closed again, because... obviously, water was around it. Didn't want to soak the bills.

The six submerged.

"Did you see that? Did everyone see that? Everyone saw that, right? I opened the briefcase! I get the cash prize!"

Ezekiel, Geoff, Harold, and Kathy all ran up to the spot in the lake that they crashed in to.

"Look, I really hate to try to bend things around," Ezekiel said, "Buuuuut... no, Heather. You weren't the only one."

"Yeah, from what I saw, it looked like all of you just kinda popped it open at once." Said Geoff. "We could have Justin review the footage, but-"

"Oh yeah, Justin never made it here. I should... you know what? The money can wait."

"That's easy for you to say!" Heather shouted. "You don't have someone questioning your victory!"

"You should freeze, Heather." Ezekiel said.

"Don'tcha mean 'chill?'" Geoff asked him.

"Yeah, that thing. Anyway, chill. We'll settle this a bit later. Right now, I'll have Blaineley find everyone, bring them here, and get Justin."

(Wawanakwa Beach; Sundown)

Finally.

A large private jet flew in to the island at a rather ridiculous speed, plowing through several trees in the forest in the process and landing with the cabins practically touching its right wing. One thing that did touch its wing was a fairly large tree. It actually pushed the thing by a bit.

Stepping out of it was a smirking Justin. Following him was a towel-wrapped, fuming Lindsay, and a still-shivering Bridgette and Izzy.

"First she took me from that cruise that I liked, then she demanded that I put on this towel or she won't rescue me!" Lindsay complained. "But then she said that I should come with her for the show! I told her that I wanted to stay, but she insisted! Then I said, 'well what if I don't put on the towel,' and she THREW me in the jet! I mean, come on! I'm not naked! I HAVE A HAT!"

And, finally, a sighing Blaineley stepped out. She had her hand on her head as if it was overdue for a mass, thermonuclear explosion.

"I couldn't find Beth, Courtney, or Eva." She said. "We might as well consider them dead. I don't like them."

"Uh, I told you." Ezekiel said. "They're on the island."

"Yeah!" Beth shouted from the crowd of the six victors, who were standing by the cabins. Right by the giant tree that looked like it was going to fall. "I'm right here!"

"Huh?" Blaineley blinked, briefly taking her hand off her forehead. "Oh, right. Well then. Good. I remembered you said something about those three. But I forgot what, 'don't look for them' or 'look for them especially.' Anyway, here."

Courtney and Eva finally stepped out of the bushes, throwing away brush on them.

"What are you doing down here?!" The former asked the other competetors. "The box! It's - I managed to break a small hole, you could - or we could-"

"The challenge is over." Gwen said. "Now we're just waiting for the results."

"Ah," Blaineley said, "Everyone's here. Good. Great."

(A Bit Later)

Justin came out of what was apparently Wawanakwa's own mess hall, still smirking, with his arms crossed.

"Yep. It's a tie. A six-way tie. Technically Sierra opened the case-"

"YES!" Sierra shouted. "I GIVE ALL ONE HUNDRED GRAND TO HEATHER!"

"That part was easy. What I really wanted to look for is how you, Ezekiel, worded the challenge. You said whoever's hands were on the briefcase when it opens is the winner. And not whoever opens it."

"Wha- but that's what I meant, yo!" Ezekiel protested.

"You don't want to bend the rules, do you? I thought you said you wouldn't be a second Chris."

"I- but that- AUGH! FINE! I don't know what to do for a six-way tie, though!"

Justin shrugged. "You tell me."

Sighing, Ezekiel turned to the side. "And why are you smirking?!"

"Because early in my brutal journey over here, I encountered something magical. You know that mutant family of bears that hate you?"

"Yeah, I know a lot of families of mutant bears that hate me."

"You're gonna love this. And uh, campers? You should follow me. You're gonna love Ezekiel's reaction."

(Wawanakwa... Production Room?)

"NOOOOO!" Ezekiel turned his head skyward, screaming, just after his eyes reflected the furious orange flames that coated Zekitunakwa. "MY... MY SECOND HOME! MY NAMESAKE! THE PLACE MY PARENTS MET! IT'S... IT'S..."

"I TOLD YOU THE PLACE WAS ON FIRE!" Eva shouted.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST OGRE-ING ME!" Ezekiel replied, whipping his head back - tears having been in his eyes.

"...'Trolling.' Anyway, if you really need proof, I think that Missy Blinde Celebrity would be happy to give you a ride back to Zekitunakwa's ashy remains."

"No I won't." Blaineley replied.

"No, I believe you. I just... why!" Ezekiel sobbed. "Of all those campsites... why did it have to be the one that was the most me?"

"Probably because of this stupid reality show?!" Asked Eva. "If you didn't pick this place to set up the reality show, none of this would have happened."

Ezekiel sniffed. "I... I guess you're right." He stood up.

"SO WHO THE FUCK WINS?!" Asked Heather. "Come on! You reviewed the footage! You cried about your camp burning! I just want to go home richer! Or, you know what? At this point, I just want to go home! I don't even care if I lost! I don't even care if you somehow gave the win to Eva! I just want my results!"

Geoff sighed. "You know, Ezekiel. There's always... that thing."

"What thing?" Harold asked.

Justin sighed. "Season Two."

Everyone except Justin himself, Geoff, Ezekiel, Kathy, and Blaineley had the same jaw-dropped look on their faces.

"Ooh!" That finally got Blaineley to cheer up. "And I can fund it if you want!"

Ezekiel, likewise, lifted his head up. A small smirk showing up. "...Maybe. Maybe! Okay, follow me outside!"

(Wawanakwa Cabins)

"Alright! I've got it!" Ezekiel said. "Yeah, hosting will help me get through this! One last go-again! Gwen! Leshawna! Heather! Sadie! Katie! Sierra! The six of you will be going back in to business, for the hundred grand!"

"Wait, REALLY?!" Heather asked. "I was ready to leave!"

"Well, okay, I could still have a second season without you in it, if you're willing to split the money six ways-"

"Nope!" Heather immediately retracted what she said earlier. "Okay, fair point! I'd rather take my chances with these five weirdos and manipulate my way to being the only one to get the money than, ugh, share! So, uh... is this season just gonna be with the six of us?"

"No!" Ezekiel laughed. "What, cut the cast in half flat-out? That just sounds like a recipe for disaster! No, depending on our budget, I could use the auditions for Plains that I cut-"

Blaineley whispered something in his ear.

Which made Ezekiel's eyes shoot wide open.

"Oh! Well, I was just thinking of another round of eleven or twelve, but no! I think I have enough for full-on twenty-four! The six of you and eighteen completely new lucky ladies! Yeah! And it'll be set right here!"

He pointed at the island grounds with both hands.

Blaineley whispered something else in his ear, making his eyes go even wider.

"Oh, wait! Actually, Blaineley's letting me use THIS!"

He knocked twice on the wing of the jet, which disturbed that large tree ever-so more.

"Yeah! Remember how I said that this one guy named a bunch of places, all with huge cliffs? What if we start here, and then go around all of Canada to see the rest! That'll offer, like, WAY more environmental diversity than being in one location! It'll make up for this crappy island being a downgrade from the wonderful, fresh plains of Zekitunakwa!"

Nodding to himself and walking, he nervously laughed off his last bits of sorrow. "But yeah. B-bigger. B-better. I can see it now!"

He did that thing where one person extends an arm, palm-out, and sweeps it across. "A game show that goes from the dunes of deserts to a water wonderland under the sea! From the sharp cliffs of rocky canyons to huge, gorgeous waterfalls!"

"What about us?" Eva asked.

Ezekiel shrugged, backing up so that he was right by that large tree. "Eh. You can be guests, but I don't think it'll be fair if you competed. But ANYWAY! One year from now - maybe two - I'll have it all set up! All perfect! I can see it now! TOTAL! ZEKSMIT! CAMPSITES AROUND THE-"

CRASH!

The large tree finally broke off from its stump, landing on and crushing Ezekiel.

All the contestants and show staff gasped.

And after her eyes wandered around for a little bit, Blaineley gasped too, saying an obviously-faked "Oh no, Ezekiel...!"

Just in Case, Special Status:

"In" "Season 2:" Gwen, Heather, Katie, Leshawna, Sadie, Sierra

Unambiguously Failed the Challenge (BONUS: it's listed in the rough order of "she's definitely not gonna make it now"): Bridgette, Izzy, Lindsay, Courtney, Eva, Beth

Somewhere in the Middle of a Lake: Golden Nude Ezekiel Statue

Closing AN:

I started this chapter at the beginning of the year. Created it January 1st. I absolutely did not want to work on it all year. I did not want to finish it on the last day of the year. It ended up coming to that because, honestly, I thought this was overall that much of a pain to work on. And while I did have some fun writing some parts of this, overall I didn't like this chapter and I am thankful that I am finally finished with this crap. And the story as a whole. Honestly, that sums up my thoughts on the story as a whole, too, but I'll cover that in the next section.

While this also kinda applies to the story as a whole, in regards to this specific chapter was pretty much rewritten from the ground up... since the challenge began, mostly. All over the month of December. Yep, January through November and... I think the beginning of December was writing the draft that I would scrap, while the final revision you see right here is something I pounded out over just one month, rushing it because I have updated this every year since it began and I'd rather not break that streak on its final update. It's because not only was I half-assing the rough (I was only writing about a line a day for most of the year, in a long chapter that I was trying to truncate), but also because I basically left some "blank spots" and the like that just piled up, and there was a lot that I felt could really benefit from rewriting... basically, I tried to not pound this out at the end of the year, so I "started early," but in the process (although not because of this, I'm pretty sure if I started this in November the end result would be even more rushed, if not I'd just cancel this chapter outright and maybe end this story on the post-game Aftermath or something. I don't know, I'm still glad in some way that I didn't wait until near the end to start this) the old version was so bad that I ended up rushing this anyway, getting it completely finished on the last day of the year. Argh.

If you're wondering why I put Sierra in a negative light, I dislike glorified stalker characters ("But what about .GIFfany" if you've read my fics you'll see that even in the "stupid" ones she starts off with a villain role, and the ones where she's fast-redeemed are the stupid ones. She's still the de-facto main villain of Run: .GIFocalypse, and that story is supposed to lightly deconstruct the idea of redemption arcs and whatnot. I hate it when they're depicted as virtually harmless when they're not, and that we're supposed to be rooting for them) and I generally don't like characters whose main purpose is "Ha ha, our fandom/hatebase has crazy people, right?" In the latter case, the "generally" is because the writers only have, like, two jokes about them and yet they keep shoving them in everywhere because they apparently need to keep telling us how much they hate their complainers or their shippers or whatever, to the point where they overstay their welcome. (Comic Book Guy/Jeff Albertson, Sarah from Amazing World of Gumball, .) Unless Ridonculous Race added a ton of depths or something to her (I still need to catch up on this series, I haven't seen every episode yet), Sierra to me felt like both. So, I made her a fan of Heather to parody that whole "when a character with little screentime gets a disproportionate fandom," as need I remind you in this story Heather's the one with very little screentime and kicked off first. Plus, Cody's not involved (I think, I could have said he was in EMDHS, if I did I'll zap that), so it wouldn't make any sense even by Sierra standards if she just out of the blue fell for some completely irrelevant guy. So, she's a loyal Heather minion. And all that entails. Believe it or not, at some point she was worse, being so mad at the loss of her nude Ezekiel statue that she threw Beth in to the lake to fish it out, which was how Beth wouldn't have made it in to "the second season." I actually changed that at the last minute; that wasn't part of the old draft made throughout the year, that was one of the things I did in December.

So, I changed and cut a lot of things. I might compile a list or whatnot. But now I don't feel like doing that. So I'll just move on to my next and last point, before the "Final Thoughts:"

Ezekiel's crushing is meant to be a way to kind of "cut this off" from what was originally planned - I mean, not as in one of those things in the old draft that I cut, but one of the REALLY old things I planned. Back when I was a stupid teenager, and thought that this stupid story was going to be my magnum opus. The """""finale""""" would lead in to the post-game Aftermath (as Ezekiel said right off the bat), the post-game Aftermath would lead to the special (as said openly at the end of the post-game Aftermath), and then the special would be a hook for a second season, set on an island. Plains would have been like a "prequel" of sorts, with Island being the "base" where it's the most similar to canon in terms of contestant number and the amount of... um, "flare," I guess. Very-very originally, the second season would just kind of go straight in to a third season that was "even bigger," set in a gigantic forest, and then a "set" of mini-seasons each with their own set of characters, leading up to a big tenth season where everyone came back. And that would lead to more "mini seasons" leading to a "mega season..." kind of indefinitely. I was even more over-ambitious than I am now, let's just say that and leave it at that. Of course, as the years went on by, I went harsher on that crap. Ten plus seasons... I think at some point just became ten. Or it might have been that it just went to three: Plains, Island, and either Woods or Campsites Around the World. Then three became two: Plains and Campsites Around the World.

And now, at least as it stands, two has became one.

There is a chance that I might do something with this. It's kinda tempting. On one hand, the idea with Campsites Around the World (and the "mini-seasons," which were conceptually all merged in to CAW anyway, hence the "flying to different campsites." Back when I was a stupid teen with overly-large dreams, each of those "episodes" would have been an entire mini-"season" about the size, if not slightly bigger than, Plains) does tempt me a little. Going from various biome-themed reskins of Wawanakwa's island and whatnot. But on the other hand... like a lot of things I've came up with, that's basically Run: .GIFocalypse. Which, in my opinion, is a much better fic than this. You should read that, whether or not you like this. And you shouldn't judge your opinion on me as a whole from this. This was rushed.

Originally the dowsing rod and meat grinder were going to be used as well, making every item used, but... eh.

But anyway, I will say right now that Ezekiel isn't dead. The ambiguity of the ending was to kinda give "a reason" why there won't be a second season in-universe (oh no, he's suddenly too injured... and then he gives all the money from the special to Heather, or something like that), but if I ever do get a sudden surge of masochism and ever want to go back to this, the season's already announced and everything's already said and done. Basically, it's like if a show doesn't know whether or not it'll get cancelled, so it writes an ending that both "concludes" things (but in a rushed, half-assed way), but at the same time leaves open a possibility for a sequel. Except, paradoxically, I'm the one cancelling it. However, I will say with certainty that you should not be expecting anything related to this at all throughout the entirety of 2020. I know the year hasn't even started yet. (Barely, though.) But I can definitely say that.

I just also thought it would be funny if it looked like the series suddenly killed Ezekiel off. But no, it didn't. He's unkillable, by the way. That... started as a joke, where for some reason I'd basically make him like a Total Drama SCP-682 of sorts (originally he was also going to bleed teal and have other weird, unusual stuff going on), but that was before World Tour gave him all this weird stuff and had him turn in to Golem. So, whatever. Meh, I'm just going on to the:

Final Thoughts:

I originally planned on writing a gigantic, purple prose thing here describing this story like it was some kind of eldritch horror. But meh. I think a simple "I don't like this" would get the same point across.

I don't like this.

While I thought some parts of this were somewhat "fun" to write in the sense of being mindless nonsense, overall this story was... bad. Really bad. I tried to do too many things with it, but I wasn't sure what to stick with. Ideas were spitballed, scrapped, changed, and this story just basically ended up being a watered-down, simple version of canon with some of the underdeveloped characters getting more screentime; basically, the exact sort of thing this was originally going to start as, before expanding in to this weird element-based fantasy story that this would go "psyche! There's actually cool powers and stuff!" Hoo boy, I could write a whole essay about the elemental schtick, but... I honestly don't feel like it. I just feel like finishing this, and getting it out of the way.

One thing I will say right now is that Kathy was supposed to become a contestant in season 2, which is why she appears at all and was part of the staff, and why she seems so out of place. That whole "blonde cousin" or whatever is referring to Kathody of Run: .GIFocalypse, who by all means is basically me trying to recreate Kathy off memory (out of refusing to reread this story) but with lightning and ghost powers and better than Kathy in just about every way. I'm very ashamed that the "yellow slot" of the .GIFfany rainbow came from a Total Drama OC of mine that was never really developed beyond "weird creepo" but now she's just kinda grandfathered in, since I changed her a lot and actually ended up liking the way she turned out. (Upping the "hammyness," downing the "creepy sexual harassment." By the time I wrote Kathy's introduction I was not at all thinking about how terrible it actually was. Sorry for that. So, in this true finale, I had her get called out on it, and briefly hit by Eva.) Even this whole "preview a contestant for the next season" thing is unoriginal, as I took the idea from Total Drama Comeback (which I haven't read in ages, I still need to catch up on that), specifically the TV Tropes page mentioning that one of the Battlegrounds contestants apparently (again, I'm still on "Episode 4" I think) makes a few cameo appearances in Comeback.

Also it should come off as no surprise that I absolutely hate the whole "fanservice" gimmick, since I've been toning it down a lot. It's not out of prudishness - look over on my Fictionpress page and you'll see that just about all of my original fiction except 361 and its "failed pilot" have content that makes this look kid-friendly in comparison (even this "teased" story, it's tamer than the harem ecchis I've been working on, but it still has one character that... is "more" than TZP) - it's just... I don't know. I could go on, but I think it's about time to end.

Blah blah blah I could still edit the earlier chapters and this to get rid of any continuity errors or plot holes, or clear things up if they needed to be. Later, though.

Token part of the AN about "what else am I working on:" This won't be the last thing of the year I publish (hopefully), I've still got... well, it's a SBIGlet. But it's one I actually like right now. From there, maybe expect something on my fan fiction side on January. Otherwise, over on Fictionpress I might start giving a overkill of Joy Roy now that this piece of garbage is finally out of the way.

THE END.

5:50 AM.

He always woke up ten days early. Wake up. Wait for the minute he regained control. He never liked the wait, but he wanted to be fully awake for when that happened.

Shower, get dressed, eat, and be on his way.

That one particular day.

Today. Two Day.

His own laughably pathetic "resistance" of sorts - not that he was a dictator ruler, not yet anyay - happened to break in.

That superhero in the black skull suit. The one who always said that, some day, he'd break his pacifism and use his powers.

Even if that day was today, 'today' wouldn't be.

He looked the super in the eye, past his skull mask that was redundant with the giant skull and crossbones on his chest. What a weird fellow. Constantly needing to remind others of his particular 'gift' out of the Thirty. Megadeath was one of the few out of the Thirty that made him outright mad; why, of all the seven billion people on the planet, was the power of immediate and unavoidable death by controlled touch given to a man who wouldn't even hurt a cockroach?

The 'leader' smirked as the superhero pulled a gun at him. He already knew that was a bluff; refusing to use his powers, he went with something that was far less certain. The gun could jam. He could 'miss.' And so on.

Whelp, other heroes came by carrying off various blueprints and plans. Not that they'd have any use. He already saw one of them warp out with a portal - an offshoot, returning to the 'regular timeline.'

Then the building crashed, caving in all around them. Megadeath, the muscular hero in the black suit with skulls all over, screamed, running away.

The 'Leader,' Two Day, looked up. Rubbled surrounded him from all directions, and it looked like the lighting fixture above him was about to fall on him at any moment.

Snap.

6:00 AM.

He was wide awake, at the cost of having to start every first day with ten minutes knowing he was no longer in control.

Living Twice.

Coming 2020.

(Probably late 2020, though. Don't hold your breath.)