Tara opened the door to the Summers' house after her night class and immediately registered the sound of the crying baby upstairs. Dropping her keys and bag in the kitchen with a sigh, she took the stairs two at a time to the spare bedroom-turned-nursery where Dawn stood in the dark with the baby in her arms.

"I can take her," Tara offered, half-smiling as the teary infant reached her arms out towards her voice. "Hi, sweetheart." She wiped tears off the baby's silky cheeks and kissed the top of her head.

"She won't take her bottle and I can't get her to sleep," Dawn explained apologetically.

"It's alright, Dawnie. She's been fussy lately; she's cutting another tooth." The baby was already quieting in Tara's arms, and she sat down in the rocking chair and started to unbutton her shirt. "Thanks for staying up with her so late on a school night. I can help you with your homework as soon as I get her down. I don't want you getting behind because of babysitting."

Dawn flipped her long hair over her shoulders. "I'm done already. Xander and Anya came by to watch her earlier this evening."

Tara smiled, grateful that the Scoobie family still provided so much support.

"Ma!" the baby demanded impatiently, batting a hand against Tara's chest.

"Oh my god! Oh my god!" Dawn exclaimed. "She just said her first word! That's right, Olivia, that's your mama!"

She got no response from the baby who had finally been offered a breast and was nursing contentedly.

"I think that was just baby-babble," Tara countered. "Besides, I'm not her mother." She stroked Olivia's soft red hair, a little wistfully.

Dawn frowned. "Of course you're her mother. You hold her and bathe her and play with her. Isn't that what a mother is?"

"We all do that, Dawnie; you, me, Xander, Buffy," Tara said quietly. "But she has a mother."

"Biologically, yes," Dawn agreed. "But in everyway that matters she has you. You do more than the rest of us. You're with her all the time with the nursing and the silly games. She adores you."

Tara rocked the chair gently back and forth. "It's no burden. I love her so much."

"And that's more than can be said for the women who gave birth to her," Dawn concluded a little smugly.

"Dawn!" Tara snapped, standing up so abruptly that Olivia lost her nipple and let out a disgruntled wail. "I don't ever want to hear you say that again!"

Dawn was startled, Tara hardly ever spoke sharply, and never to her. The two of them had always been close and Dawn sometimes thought of Olivia as her baby sister with whom she shared an unofficial adoptive parent. But after a second's hesitation, she continued the argument. "If she's loves her so much how come she hasn't come by in almost a month? She hardly even held Olivia last time she was here!"

Sighing, Tara sat back down, helping Olivia latch on again. "It's hard for her, Dawnie. You're right, though. I'll give her a call tomorrow."

"Why do you always defend her?" Dawn cried. "After what she's done to Olivia, to you, to all of us? It's like you're still in love with her!" She stormed out of the room and Tara heard the door slam across the hall.

She closed her eyes, blinking back tears. Olivia gazed up at her from the breast with sleepy eyes. "Oh my little one," Tara whispered to her. "Of course I'm still in love with your mommy."

After laying the sleeping baby down in her crib, Tara shut the nursery door to a crack and went over to Dawn's room where there was it was still light coming from the crack under the door. She knocked lightly before opening it. Dawn was sprawled across her bed on her stomach, highlighting her notes.

"I thought you were done with your homework."

"Test tomorrow," Dawn said without looking up.

Tara walked across the room, and, with a roll of her eyes, Dawn closed her notebook and made room for Tara on the bed. "What?"

"Dawn," Tara started gently, touching her shoulder. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"It's just…" Dawn started angrily, before stopping herself and starting again. Tara bit back a smile. Despite the fact that she still had one more year of high school, Dawn had grown up in the time that she had known her and had learned to keep her emotions in check most of the time. "It's just that I don't want to see her hurt Olivia the way that she hurt you."

"Oh Dawnie." Tara grabbed the girl in a tight hug. "I know how much you love Olivia and I know you are trying to protect her. But, sweetie, I don't want her to grow up thinking her mother doesn't love her. She'll be one year old before we know it and she understands more and more of what we are saying everyday. I don't want her to hear anything that makes her feel unloved."

"She'll never feel that way," Dawn said fiercely, pulling back to look Tara in the eyes. "We all love her so much."

"And Willow loves her too, I know she does," Tara insisted. "She loves her enough to know what's best for her. She admitted that she couldn't take care of her." She paused for a moment, reflecting on that day.

Tara's studying was interrupted by a knock on her dorm room door. She set down her pen and smoothed her skirt, walking around her desk to open the door.

"Willow!" She paused to take in the sight of her former lover standing before her with puffy eyes, the roots of her flame red hair tinged black, holding a crying newborn. "Come in."

"Sit down," Tara insisted gesturing to the bed as she shut the door behind her, worried that the women before her might fall over from exhaustion. "This is Olivia?" her voice became overly tender as she stared down at the red-faced infant who stopped bawling for long enough for her to catch sight of clear blue eyes.

Willow offered her up and Tara hesitated before awkwardly accepting the child, unsure how to hold her. She had held only a handful of babies in her life and never one this new. Buffy had called her earlier that week to tell her that Willow had delivered a girl. A part of her wished that she could have been there, but she knew that she had no place. Their relationship was no more than stilted conversations since Tara had left her a year before due to her addiction to the magicks and Willow had announced her pregnancy only months after.

"She's beautiful, Will."

Willow burst in tears. "I can't do it, Tara! I can't!"

It was an automatic reaction to lay the swaddled baby down on her floor rug and before her brain could catch up, Tara was next to Willow on the bed, pulling her half into her lap as she embraced her tightly. Willow sobbed harder, hands gripping Tara's shirt as she buried her face in her neck. Tara's heart skipped and she bit back a gasp at the sensation of her ex-girlfriend's warm breath on her skin. Whatever the circumstances, she couldn't deny how good it felt to have Willow in her arms once again.

For a few minutes the room was filled with the sounds of the cries of the mother and her daughter, but eventually Willow pulled back and looked up at Tara with red, sorrowful eyes. Tara let her go, her arms immediately aching at the emptiness.

"It's going to be ok, Willow," Tara murmured. "You can do this."

Willow shook her head. "No, no, I really can't. I can't even take care of myself, Tare." Averting her eyes, she admitted, "I'm afraid I'll hurt her. I can't keep her."

"Willow…" Tara sighed, unable to prevent her hand from reaching out to trace to line of dark that ran along her part, making her red hair look oddly unnatural. Soot, she couldn't help but think. Soot that is taking away her fire. "You've done dark magicks. Recently. Since her birth."

"I can't stay away. It calls to me. Taking everything that I love." She paused and their eyes met. "Everyone."

Tara's breath caught in her throat.

Willow continued, "I can't let her grow up around me. I thought she would be enough to make me stop, but obviously, not so much the case. She's been alive for four days and already I've gone back. Please, Tara, please. I know I have no right to ask, but, please, will you take her? Will you love her? You're the best person I know. There is no one else I would rather have raise this child."

Tara's gaze darted between Willow's emerald green orbs and the baby who was on her floor, still crying. Back and forth, back and forth, as she tried to process what Willow was asking.

"Willow," she breathed. "Willow, she's not mine. I can't just take her. What about the father?"

"She doesn't have a father," Willow said abruptly.

"She must-" Tara started, before she was stopped by the coal black flash in Willow's eyes. She shivered at the darkness that removed all remnants of the girl she had fallen in love with so long ago. That girl who had been so full of life, the shinning light in Tara's life. But even then she had known; from the beginning Tara had been aware of the power that had now taken that light to a place far beyond her reach.

"It's just me," she said definitively, her eyes fading back to green.

Tara nodded, not daring to question further. She couldn't help but wonder, though, who had lay claim to Willow's body so soon after their break up.

"Tara, please," Willow begged. "She's a part of me; I can't lose her to strangers. But I love her too much to keep her." Her voice trailed off so that Tara hardly caught the last part.

How could she refuse? Despite everything, she still loved Willow more than life and loved her daughter simply by association. Though it hadn't been said, Tara knew Willow had no one else to ask. Buffy was too busy with the slaying, Dawn was too young, Xander and Anya were too wrapped up in trying to salvage their relationship.

Tara felt herself nod, even as she said, "Will, I don't know anything about babies, I-" She was cut off by Willow's lips on hers and she responded without thinking as they shared a sloppy, desperate kiss. It ended mutually and their eyes met in silent acknowledge that although they both wanted it to go farther, neither of them dared to let it.

Choosing to ignore it in light of more pressing concerns, Tara stood to pick up Olivia once again, feeling dread wash over her. "I don't know how I'm going to do this. I have another year of school, no baby stuff. Where will she sleep? What will she eat?"

Willow reached into the bag she had brought with her and handed Tara a check. It was made out to her for an exorbitant amount of money. "This is for everything she needs," Willow explained. "I'll give you more if you need it."

Tara nodded mutely as Willow pulled out something else; a small bag filled with herbs. "This tea will make your milk come in, or, you know, you can buy bottles and stuff." Willow eyes were filled with desperation, silently begging Tara not to back out of this huge commitment. "I'll come and see her? I'm still her mother?" They were more questions than statements.

"Of course you are," Tara assured her, shifting Olivia to one arm so she could gently cup Willow's cheek. "Always."

"Tara." The tears spilled over once again and Tara wiped one away with her thumb. "Promise you'll never let me hurt her."

Tara felt Willow's pain as her own and once again pressed their lips together, this time without passion, merely a promise. "You could never hurt her, Willow. I know how much you love her. I am so proud of you."

Dawn shrugged, the movement drawing Tara back to the present. "I guess. Sorry I upset you."

Tara smiled. "I'm so happy that she has you to look out for her." They hugged again. "I love you, Dawnie. Get to sleep so you ace that test."

Leaving Dawn's room, she walked back by the nursery, peaking in on the little girl in her crib. She couldn't imagine her life if she hadn't taken the baby that day. Olivia was her light now, the only innocent, untarnished piece of Willow she had left. Without question, Olivia was the best thing in her life.