The title and description of this essay are no joke; it is my intention to seriously defend the concept of a Link/Ruto pairing in Ocarina of Time. Some may deride the idea, Ruto had been the subject of much fan humor since 1998 and the vast majority of it has not been flattering. Still when I first played through Ocarina of Time and Ruto told Link that they were engaged my first response was "cool". Add to this that one of my favorite parts of the game is the Water Temple and the couple's reunion both at the start of the dungeon and in the Chamber of Sages I find that the idea of a pairing is perfectly plausible. Let me start with the biggest objection people raise.

Biology: Hylian and Zora are two different species and there is no way they should find each other physically attractive; at least not a Hylian to a Zora.

The most basic argument to this is that the two species respective anatomies are not all that different. Zora's are humanoid in form with 2 legs, 2 arms and a head all attached by a torso. Ruto in her adult form has all the trappings of a female adult, wide hips, curved abdomen and breasts. She has everything that is considered attractive in a female and that are possessed by the two more commonly considered love interests in the game, Zelda and Malon. The only real differences are her skin tone, wider head and fins on her arms. I feel my argument stands soundly; if Ruto has the female anatomy relevant to reproduction then she is going to be considered attractive, the minor differences are rendered negligent.

To drive this point home let me reference the Mass Effect series, which offers several non-human love interests to the player. Anatomically the Zora and the Asari are rather similar, or more specifically Ruto is very similar to the Asari as her character design is different and less alien compared to other Zoras. Asari serve as Mass Effect's sex symbol who frequently appear as exotic dancers in various bar/nightclub settings through the series. Furthermore it is possible to pursue a romantic relationship with an Asari character that ultimately leads to a(n) intimate encounter(s). How can one game's sex symbol be another game's joke when they are so similar?

One may wish to rebut my previous point by claiming that Ruto's anatomy and the anatomy of the Asari are different enough that my point is not valid; Ruto is still too alien looking. Again I encounter with Mass Effect; the second game in the series allows for the character to romance any number of characters who are not human. While the anatomy of these possible love interests is humanoid they are clearly not human and have features more akin to a lizard or reptile. However if the response of the fandom is any indication there seems to be a wholehearted embracing of these pairings as they are expressed in fan fics and fan art. Again the species difference is negligible, why the frigid reception for a Link/Ruto pairing?

The answer I believe begins with the player's first encounter with Ruto in Jabu Jabu's Belly. Ruto was written as a spoiled, demanding character whose chastising of Link and request to be carried poisoned the well within the Ocarina of Time fandom. Here of course is my response which unfortunately gives honest criticism to the game. None of the characters in Ocarina of Time are fleshed out particularly well, not even the main characters. Ganondorf and Zelda are mere archetypes of pure good and pure evil with Link merely being an extension of the player. Now this is a blessing in disguise as it forces players to project their own feelings unto what is going on in the game. Basically as someone plays they are writing their own characterizations in their head about what the characters are like and how they interact with each other. Take any number of related characters in the game such as Saria and Mido or Talon and Ingo. Ocarina of Time only gives us a glimpse into their lives together and the imagination of the player and eventually the fandom took over and filled in the rest.

Getting back to Ruto, her first impression with most players did not go well due to the way her character was written and that prejudiced players against her. However I interpreted her character differently, a pampered only child used to getting her way, yet fiercely loyal to her own idea of honor and courtesy. Thrust unexpectedly into a stressful situation she lashed out at her only target Link, out of pure frustration of things being out of her control. Then she sees this noble stranger calmly take care of things she is in awe of his skill. Females always seem to appreciate someone who can get things done. Then she is suddenly racked by guilt as she realizes how badly she treated the one who saved her life. Being in the early stages of puberty she suddenly becomes aware of the physical attraction she has for the young hero. Love so innocently begins to bloom in her heart. At least that was my read on Ruto. Another way of looking at a character opens up so much possibility.

Others may disagree but in light of the negligible species difference and my own interpretation of their interaction in Jabu Jabu, I feel a Link/Ruto pairing is perfectly plausible in Ocarina of Time.