Phrases from various peoples which Charles Xavier really hears far too often.

A/N: I was going through my files trying to get rid of things, and came across this little gem (which I assume was written back when all of those "Shit people say" videos were circulating) and really didn't think it worthy of it's own fic, given that it is perhaps 3 pages long and probably the most pointless thing I've ever written. This seemed the only semi appropriate place to put it, and I do think it mildly entertaining. So er...enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own MARVEL. I just have a brain that chose to produce lots of pointless sentences, and then I put them on the internet.

Raven:

"Charles, can you please stop having nicer hair than me?"

"Charles, you need to pick some stuff up from the store for me. I don't care if you're a guy!"

"Charles, I need your credit card."

"Charles, can I have a cat?"

"Charles, sweater vests are really passé."

"Charles, you really should use your billionaire influence to get me John Wayne's autograph."

"This doesn't show too much skin!"

"If you don't, you'll turn into a shriveled old man by the time you're twenty five."

"Charles, can I borrow the car keys?"

"If you don't let me, Erik will."

Alex:

"Um, Professor, where's the fire extinguisher?"

"Hey Prof., do you know whether or not hair gel is flammable?"

"Professor, could you explain this thingy Hank told me about?"

"Raven is wrong, your cooking is totally better than prison food."

"You know, in prison they didn't make me read."

"Hey, can you fix this game console?"

"Um, Professor, how soundproof is the bunker?"

"Hey Professor, how many weird labs and bunkers do you have in this place?"

"Can I have twenty bucks?"

"Professor, when's dinner?"

Hank:

"Professor, I spilled some acid."

"Professor, there's a splinter in my foot and I can't get it out."

"Professor, may I borrow some of your hair? It's for an experiment."

"Professor, how do you feel about this modification for cerebro?"

"Professor, who do I call to unplug the drains?"

"Professor, do you have a vacuum cleaner around here?"

"Professor, I broke the vacuum cleaner."

"Professor, could you do me a huge favor and collect some urine samples for me?"

"Professor, will you please tell Alex to shut up?"

"But professor, it's for science!"

Sean:

"Oh no, Professor, you really shouldn't go in that room for awhile."

"You were totally right about Erik not responding well to sudden bangs…ow."

"Professor, you really shouldn't eat those brownies!"

"Wanna see me do something cool?"

"Please hide me!"

"Um, Professor, how attached were you to that window?"

"Professor, where do you keep the bandages?"

"Smell this."

Erik:

"Why aren't you naked?"

"Want to play chess?"

"Charles, your naivete is toeing the line between annoying and adorable."

"Charles, I really think you've had enough to drink."

"No thanks Charles, I think I'll just wear a turtleneck today."

"Now this joke is a bit off color, but Alex thought it was funny…"

"You actually have a room for that?"

"No Charles, I don't feel that my actions were a tad extreme."

"Would you like to drag Hank from the library, or shall I?"

"Charles I swear, I'm trying to do something here and if you don't stop projecting…"

"What do you mean that was my thought?"

A/N: Uh, if you want to review, go for it.