Raining in My Head (title from "Silent All These Years" by Tori Amos)

Hard M

Warnings for PTSD, angst, hurt/comfort, maybe some foul-mouthedness, polyamory

Prompt:

Harvey, Mike, and Louis are in a polyamorous relationship causing Mike to have to do a lot of dodging of jealous fellow associates at being the golden boy of a senior partner and a junior partner. He gets a lot of crap when the other associates can catch him behind Louis and Harvey's backs. A lot of the bullying takes place in the file room where the partners rarely go. It begins to effect Mike to the point that he tries to avoid going there. He also doesn't want to look like a baby or a narc by complaining to his lovers. One day the other associates see Mike jump and borderline freak to the sound of multiple sirens during a rain storm. They lock Mike in the dark file room with a loud tape playing sirens and storm sounds. Donna overhears the gloating and is PISSED. Harvey though is in a meeting with a huge client and she knows he can't be disturbed - Harvey could fire her. She turns to Louis instead, telling Louis everything she has seen and heard. Mike has a major PTSD episode and is found by Louis who can't get Mike to snap out of it and has to pull Harvey from a meeting to help. Cue lots of h/c and then Harvey and Louis going kickass badass at the associates.

It started out just Mike and Harvey. The attraction between them had grown since that first meeting when the pot had spilled out of Mike's suitcase. When they finally did end up together, Harvey did everything possible to ensure that no one found out but of course, they did. It was Kyle who told everyone, by way of posters all over the Pearson Hardman office of Mike and Harvey kissing. Of course, they couldn't prove it was Kyle, so he stayed on at PH, Mike was teased mercilessly and he made damn sure Harvey never knew.

Months passed, Mike moved into Harvey's condo and for a while, they were happy. It took Mike a while to realize what was missing. He and Harvey had been lying in bed one night, watching the sci-fi channel, when Mike asked Harvey if he felt like something was missing. He felt Harvey tense up next to him and there was a brief pause before he responded.

"I have been feeling like that but I didn't want to say anything. I don't want you to think you're not enough, Mike," Harvey said.

Mike couldn't help but smile at that. "Better wipe your mouth, Harvey, I think some caring just came out," he teased and Harvey just rolled his eyes.

"What do you think is missing?" Harvey asked.

"I think we just need something else to care for. What about getting a puppy?" Mike asked.

"You mean other than you?" Harvey joked and Mike punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"I mean a real puppy, from a shelter, jerk!" Mike said.

"If that's what you want, we'll go first thing tomorrow. We'll spend the day searching for the perfect pup," Harvey replied. Mike kissed him on the cheek and snuggled in closer to him.

Seventeen shelters within five miles of their condo and not one of them had a puppy that sparked either of their interests. Somewhere between the fourteenth and the sixteenth, Mike realized that perhaps a puppy was not what they needed. The seventeenth made it very, very clear that Mike was right. He and Harvey went to a small, family style restaurant for a late dinner and looking around, Mike realized they were mostly surrounded by couples with children.

He looked at Harvey who just sighed and said, "Let's think about it for two weeks on our own. Then we'll talk about it."

It only took three days before they both decided children just weren't for them.

The club was actually Harvey's idea. Three's Company was a club for people looking to add a third (or sometimes more) member to the relationship. Harvey thought it might be worth a try, to see if maybe they just needed another person to love. They tried every Friday and Saturday for three weeks before they found the surprising answer to their dilemma.

Mike had all but given up hope and was getting ready to leave when he saw him. Louis fuckingLitt was at a club for gay polyamorous couples. Mike stood in shock, gaping like a fish until Harvey noticed and turned around. His confusion morphed into a smirk and he waved Louis over.

"Can I buy you a drink?" he asked.

Louis looked just as shocked as Mike but recovered quickly with a, "Sure. I'd ask for a Black Velvet but since I'm sure they only have sparkling wine and not actual Champagne, I'll take a whiskey."

Harvey ordered a round of the best whiskey for the three of them and they all did a shot. Mike slightly at the burn and Harvey and Louis shared a knowing look. It was at that moment they all realized that they had found what they were looking for. If only they had realized it sooner. Louis went back to the condo with them that night, moved his stuff in the next weekend and no one at work was ever the wiser.

Of course, all good things must come to an end. Somehow one of the other associates found out that Mike was also with Louis now and the taunting grew worse. It never happened out in the open, of course. They would wait until Mike had to go to the file room to get something, then follow him there, making snide comments about Mike fucking his way up the ladder.

When Mike stopped going to the file room, they got more creative. The worst yet was a not so creative picture comprised of a stick figure involved intimately with two other stick figures. Mike had really considered showing that one to Louis and Harvey but decided against it. After all, he was an adult and could handle himself.

It actually seemed to get a bit better for a while. Mike could breathe again at work, so long as he avoided the file room. He, Harvey and Louis were better than ever. Even his anxiety was improving to the point where his therapist told him he could come off his medicine (prescription this time, not the marijuana he had been using previously.) Mike was finally, after so many years, happy again.

Then The Incident happened. Mike was having a horrible day. He had barely slept thanks to the thunderstorms that had raging all night. He forgot his headphones so he couldn't even block it out at work. By the time ten a.m. rolled around, Mike was already to go home. He was on his way to Harvey's office when he heard them. It started out so quietly, Mike almost thought he was imagining it but as the sound got louder, he knew it was real. Sirens from police cars and ambulances and the loud horn of a fire truck could be heard from outside. Mike glanced out the windows and saw the lighting, heard the thunder mixed in with it and dropped to his knees.

This couldn't be happening, not here, not now. He covered his ears and tried to block out the sounds but it was too late. He could feel the memories, the sounds, the screams, the smells overwhelming him as he struggled against them. It was like he was watching his parents' deaths all over again. He felt someone trying to pull him away from their bodies as he screamed and did his best to fight against him.

"Mike, come back to us," he heard a familiar voice say.

"Come one, Mike, we've got you," another voice added.

"You're having another episode, Mike. This is Harvey, everything is going to be okay. Just come back."

Mike's eidetic memory kicked in and he linked the name and voice to Harvey's face and opened his eyes with a gasp. Every single associate, partner, secretary and assistant in the vicinity had crowded around the area where Mike, Harvey and Louis were. Harvey was holding him, rocking him softly, with Louis standing next to him, glaring daggers at the crowd.
Jessica came through the crowd and over to them.

"Take him home or to his therapist or wherever he needs to be most, Harvey," she said softly.

"Jessica, I'm so sorry, I—" Mike began but Jessica cut him off.

"I don't know what happened to you, kid, but I had a brother that was in the war. I know what PTSD looks like and I know it's not your fault. Go get the rest and help you need. I'll see you when you're past this," Jessica said.

Mike just nodded gratefully.

"The rest of you can get back to work. This is a law office, not a schoolyard," she said and the crowd immediately dispersed.

"Thanks, Jessica," Harvey said, softly as he helped Mike to his feet.

Jessica just gave him a knowing look and left.

"You stay and try to do some damage control. Donna will help you if you need it," Harvey told Louis quietly, "We'll see you at home. Pick something up for dinner? Burgers maybe?"

"Of course," Louis said, "I'll see you at six."

For a few weeks after The Incident, everyone just kind of ignored Mike. There was no taunting, no teasing, no one even spoketo him. He could finally breathe in his workspace again. Harvey and Louis and his therapist had assured him that what had happened was very normal for someone with PTSD but that didn't make it any easier or less embarrassing. Jessica had even brought Mike into her office after he returned and told him that he was to only work 7:30-4 for the next month or so until he was back to feeling like himself again.

That was all going to be over soon, however. His one month was nearly up and he was sure that the associates would be back to normal as soon as he started working like them again. Oh how right he was.

Someone had left him a note around three that had a list of boxes that were needed from the file room. As usual all the associates considered themselves too important to do that work so Mike volunteered. He had gotten about halfway through the list when the lights went off.

Frowning in confusion Mike called out "Hello? Is someone here?" but there was no answer. Then he heard it. Sirens and the slow rumble of thunder and damn it all, no not here, not again but it didn't make sense. The file room was deep in the basement and it had been sunny and clear when he left which could only mean one thing.

Mike tried to keep his breathing steady even as his heart raced. He fumbled in his pockets for his phone before realizing he had left it in his desk. He felt his way to the door only to find it locked and with the echo, there was no way to find the stereo playing the music.

He sunk to the ground, humming to himself but it wasn't enough. He could feel the rain on his skin, the soreness in his throat from screaming, seeing his parents dead in the middle of the road. He began to rock slowly. There was no escape.

Some people would say Donna was a BAMF. Others would say she was scary. Others still might say she was both. Whether these people were right or wrong was a matter of opinion but if there was one thing that Donna knew for a fact to be true, it was that she was loyal. Once Donna picked her ducklings, they were hersand no one had better mess with them. Harvey was, of course, the first to earn her unwavering loyalty and then by default, Mike and even Louis. It was for this reason and this alone that when she went to meet Mike in the break room for their four o'clock snack ritual and he wasn't there, she snooped.

She casually walked through the associate's area like she would if she were going to see Rachel. She kept her ears and eyes sharp and when she caught the tail end of Devon's sentence about "seen him, it was great. He was terrified," her eyes narrowed. Mama duck did not like the sound of that one bit.

"Where's Mike Ross? Louis needs him in his office," she asked Harold innocently.

He looked up at her in shock before finally answering, "I don't know. I haven't seen him in about an hour." Donna smiled and went to find Louis. This was not good. Not good at all.
She didn't even bother knocking on Louis' door. She simply walked in and closed the door behind her.

"Mike or Harvey?" Louis asked nervously.

"Mike. The other associates locked him up somewhere. Harold looks like the only one not involved. He said he hasn't seen him for an hour. I think he's in the box room," she explained.

"And Harvey?"

"In a meeting with a very important client. I can't afford to lose this job and I know you love Mike just as much," Donna said.

"Go get Jessica and tell her what you just told me. I'm going to go find Mike," said Louis and with that, they both left.

Donna was right about Mike being locked in the box room. One of the associates had used a broom handle through the doors that made it impossible to open from the inside. He could hear the sirens and the thunder from all the way down the corridor and he ran to get Mike free. He pushed on the door to open it but there was dead weight in front of it preventing it from opening. Louis pushed harder and the door slid open enough for him to see Mike, lying on the floor, curled up in a ball. He pushed the door the rest of the way open and scooped Mike into his arms.

"Mike? Can you hear me, sweetheart? It's Louis, you're safe now, come back," Louis whispered softly but Mike just whimpered loudly and tried to pull away. Using strength he didn't even know he had, Louis picked Mike up in a fireman's carry and rushed to the elevator. They needed Harvey for this one.

By the time Louis got Mike to his office, he was completely silent and had gone limp in Louis' arms. Donna was there waiting for them and Louis carefully set him on the couch.

"Donna, will you stay with him, please?" Louis asked and Donna nodded, moving to stand by him and stroke his hair.

Louis quickly left and went down the hall to Harvey's office. He felt completely useless sometimes when it came to Mike. Everything seemed to come so easily for Harvey when it came to calming him down and it just wasn't fair. He loved Mike and Harvey just as much as they loved each other and him but it was always Harvey he could snap Mike out of episodes. It was Harvey who was able to hold Mike at night after the nightmares and get him to calm down and just breathe, damn it. It was Harveywho Mike clung to whenever something went wrong and it was really starting to get to Louis.

Now was not the time to be jealous, though. Mike needed him to get Harvey. He needed Louis to not let emotions or feelings or fear get in his way and maybe, maybe, that's what Louis was good for. Maybe they needed Louis because Mike was still healing, even after all this time, and would alwaysbe healing. Maybe the reason this whole thing worked is because Louis was so good at holding them all together, even when it seemed impossible. Louis stood a little straighter as he came to this realization and when he got to Harvey's door, he didn't even knock.

"Harvey, I need to speak to you in the hallway for a moment," Louis said.

Harvey arched an eyebrow at him and gestured to the client in front of him. "Well, Louis, as you can see, I'm kind of busy right now," Harvey said.

"This can't wait," Louis said firmly and he said Harvey pale slightly.

"Please excuse me for just a moment," Harvey said pleasantly and then he followed Louis out into the hallway.

"What the hell happened, Louis?" Harvey asked with a hint of panic in his tone.

"Some of the associates thought it would be funny to trigger another flashback. They locked Mike in the file room with a recording of sirens and thunder and turned off the fucking lights. Donna came to me and I went down to get him. He's in my office but he's…not really there," Louis said and Harvey looked sick.

"The client, Louis, I can't—It's a big deal," Harvey said.

"Don't worry, I can do this. You go help Mike," Louis said.

Harvey spared a quick glance at the client he was scrolling though something on his Blackberry before leaning in and giving Louis a quick kiss on the mouth.

"Thank you for doing this. Come back as soon as you can get away," Harvey said.

"Of course I will. Now go, Mike needs you," Louis said and Harvey went.

Plotting revenge on dumbass associates who were determined to ruin your partner's life was probably not the best way to calm down but for Harvey, it worked. He was feeling downright serene by the time he reached Louis' office. He spotted Donna sitting next to Mike and although he couldn't hear the words, he knew she was singing softly to him.

He opened the door and caught the tail end of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Harvey smiled sadly at her and she gave him a quick squeeze on the shoulder before walking out. She didn't have to say anything for Harvey to know that she was clearing his schedule for the next few days. Harvey knelt beside the couch Mike was laying on and gently began to rub Mike's back and hum.

When he felt Mike go from limp to shaking, he knew that Mike was slowly coming back to himself.

"That's it, sweetie, come out now. You're safe, nothing is going to happen. I'm here for you. That's it," Harvey murmured soothingly. After a few minutes, Mike blinked a few times and looked at Harvey, eyes still a little glassy.

"Harvey, I'm sorry, I was so stupid. I had no idea what they were going to do," Mike said hoarsely.

"Hush, Mike, it's not your fault and the people that did this will be caught and I'll make sure they're punished severely. Can you sit up?"

Mike nodded and Harvey moved to sit next to him. Mike leaned into him and Harvey held him for a little while until the shaking subsided.

"Do you think I'll ever be better, Harvey? It's been twenty years since they did and I still have these freak outs. I just want them to stop," Mike said.

"What happened to you was really traumatic, Mike. Dr. Hugo said that it's perfectly normal to have flashbacks with PTSD. It's not your fault," Harvey said.

"I know it's not my fault but it still kills me every time, Harvey. It's so scary, so embarrassing and I just hate it. When will it stop?" Mike asked, voice cracking.

"I don't know if it ever will, Mike, but you will never be alone when it happens. Louis or I will always be here. Right, Louis?" Harvey said and Mike looked up in surprise. He hadn't even heard him come in.

"He's right, Mike. We would never leave you alone with this," Louis said, coming to sit on the other side of Mike.

"I just hate that I'm so, so broken," Mike said.

"You're not broken, Mike. You're still healing and we're here to help you through that. Let's go home. Jessica is…dealing with the associates and has given us the rest of the week off. I already called in an order to that pizza place you love, Mike, and they'll be delivering it when we get there," Louis said and Harvey was once again thankful that at least one of them could keep his head straight.

"Can we watch The Amazing Race tonight, too?" Mike asked hopefully.

Louis and Harvey shared an indulgent look over the top of Mike's head.

"If that's what you want, then yes, we can watch that. Now come on, Ray's waiting outside for us," Harvey said.

"Do you need one of us to carry you or can you walk?" Louis asked.

"I can walk," Mike said, getting to his feet.

Harvey held out his arm and Mike took it gratefully. Louis took the other side of Mike but satisfied himself with simply standing close to him. As they left, they could hear Jessica and Donna talking to the associates from down the hall. Mike laid his head on Louis' shoulder as they rode the elevator down to the lobby. It was not going to be easy but one day, he would get through this. It was always easier when someone you loved was there to help you.

End.