what you do in the dark

(when no one's watching)

All recognizable characters belong to their respective owners (Cartoon Network). For a prompt on YJ_Anon_Meme.

he watches them sometimes, you know

.

it would almost be a guilty pleasure, but he's all about the latter, none of the former, no, not here—

And he watches them, watch-watch-watches

they come to his City only the once (and it is his City, no matter what Batsy-pants thinks) they come in, tripping into merry mayhem, and the lovely chaos and it's funny that they don't see it's so funny.

.

there's this girl—this girl—that Harley likes (wants to adopt) she likes her she shouldn't she shouldn't, should only like him he'll kill this girl soon enough. Calm, calm, though, calm, now, she's as good as a joke, and he'll make her split her brain laughing, she may be (is!) from Gotham, and from good breeding, but this filly has bite—

—not much, granted, enough to be annoying but not dangerous, heavens no, just the very thought—

it's just so funny

—funny teehee, not funny ironic, because the whole wide world is ironic, which just makes it funnier—

she's stubborn, is all, a Gothamite but a hothead (and he can use that) but with a glass jaw so fragile, broken with a butterfly's touch…

…not that he won't use a sledgehammer anyways, just for the hell of it

Maybe he'll let Harley have her, after all. It could be…fun

(he likes to watch, sometimes)

.

and then

then there's the wetboy- water, aqua, something, whatever. Little boy playing dress-up, playing at being the leader, and doesn't that just stick in his craw because that should be his little bird there, yes. But no, fishy-go-squishy out of water, or fishy go buuuuuuuuurn would be so lovely

he does like fish, maybe sushi for dinner? Ooh, or Chinese. Harley won't like it, but he's not in the mood for compromise, he's in the mood for eggrolls—

but not fishlad, because that's cannibalism, and even he has his standards. Especially he has his standards. If no one had standards anymore, why, the whole town would go to hell in a handbasket—

oh, wait, wait wait—Yes. It already was hell, the very best kind.

—he's so good at funny it hurts—

.

there's a boy, too, one with a logo on his chest, a big red s glowing so bright in the dark because no one ever told him that the brightest lights get targeted first—you'd think they'd tell him that—but he's not important, not a big deal, not his problem—

—because everyone knows the Supers belong to Luther, not his problem—

and he won't touch the boy, because that's impolite, to intrude on another's claim.

—buuuuuuut he's young and impressionable and so very, very strong, so maybe it's worth it? Maybe it's—no, because Supes has even less humor than Bat-for-brains, not worth it—

—if he could catch a little bird—

But that's hardly the issue at hand, now, is it?

.

because the issue at hand has a hand and a hand and a hand, and a whole lot of hands, or so they say

and she's got the bestest color in her hair, superb, red like sunset red like blood—

—red like a certain Bat, but we don't talk about that, no not yet...

but they say she can fly and he did see that, and they said she reads minds but that isn't a worry, because even he can't find his own thoughts in his head, sometimes, you know? Having her try...

...well, it would just be hilarious, a real riot, cause there's not enough room in his head for him, much less another pretty little girl (already got Harley one's more'n enough, if you ask him, which you should)

Just hilarious, really—

.

-and speaking of bad jokes, there's flashboy-speedy-runner-dash-zoom (anything but Kid Flash) who laughs but not at any of the right things

stupid yellow gnat gnawing on his Bats, no wonder they don't get his little jokes, the running idiots ruin their senses of humor and it's just not fair you know not fair at all because his heroes should laugh with him not others not anyone and notnotnot yellow-red idiots who don't have the sense not to wear pajamas around—

—he does not like speedsters

buuuuuuuut. but they are fun to trip, fun to stick and trick and kick until they cough up the same red, red outside red inside, and they do look so pretty in pieces on the floor—

but they're just so hard to catch

he doesn't like runners. They run, run away, because they think they can escape...

—and that's just, that's funny

.

but you know who he does like he likes his little birdboy, his own precious little faux-child. It's almost as if he's helping raise the boy as well; the kid's so bright and cheerful, and has such a good laugh, you know, such a good laugh and he can work with that, can work with

the boy is stained with Gotham and ruined by honor, but not broken, not useless, and it's his own little game—he doesn't want a sidekick (that's what he's got Harley for)— he wants his bird, is all, a little bird to care for and dwell on and make laugh and break the wings and pluck the feathers out of, and show him the bright side of life where everything is just so—

—so—

so damn funny, because it's all a joke you know, you do know that right? Life's a joke and a play and just something you do to pass the time between laughs. Because you laugh, right? That's what life's about. You laugh, yeah? You, right there, you laugh? Come on, it's so funny, it's just life, no big deal it's a joke-a-minute and a real riot and why aren't you laughing?

laugh, damn you

it's just so

laugh already

just so funny

teeheehahahaha

so-

.

I wonder why no one's laughing?

.

-funny.