Title: Relearning Beauty
Author: heeroluva
Pairing: Jim/Blair
Contains: h/c, PTSD
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just like to play with them.
Summary: The events of the fountain still haunt Blair.
Notes: Written for mistress_o_muse. All mistakes are mine. Feel free to let me know if you see any. As always feedback is appreciated.

Blair couldn't stand water since he drowned in the fountain. Showers and rain tried his nerves. Baths were out of the question. However, so much as show him a picture of a body of water, and he panicked. Jim knew this. Jim knew it all, but still Jim insisted that they go on a fishing trip to their old spot. Old being the operative word because they hadn't been there since before the incident, and he'd never planned on going back again. Blair had whined and wheedled, but Jim had been adamant and had basically blackmailed him into agreeing. There was no way that Blair would resist a free pass to run any tests he wanted on Jim outside of the eight hours a day designated to fishing.

So here he was on the trail that led to the river where they were going to set up camp for the next week, the water having just come into view, when he froze. He couldn't look away, couldn't move. He knew it was irrational, knew that the water wasn't going to suddenly flood it's banks and attack him—at least not at this time of year—but no one said fear ever had to be rational.

Blair didn't notice when Jim stopped and turned, having heard his heartbeat increase to a frantic pace, didn't notice anything but the rushing water in front of him until Jim was suddenly there block his view. Blinking through the fog that overtook him, Blair surged forward, wrapping himself around Jim, shaking and hating this weakness. He'd love water before the fountain. Loved swimming. His mother used to say he was a dolphin born in human skin due to his love of it, all the time he spent in it every chance he got while growing up.

Jim's arms closed around him, holding him close and blocking out the world. "Shh, Chief. I gotcha. We don't have to do this. I shouldn't have pushed you."

"No, no. You're right. I need to do this. I can't keep living like this, letting this fear rule me." Blair stepped back out the embrace, resolute.

Jim reluctantly let him go. "If you're sure."

Blair nodded, reaching to twine his fingers with Jim's, and hesitantly stepped forward, one foot in front of anything. With Jim's solid presence at him side they slowly made their way down to the spot where they would set up camp. It wasn't so bad, as long as he didn't focus on the water, didn't look straight on, didn't listen to the steady flow as it moved past. He didn't realize he was trembling till strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him back against Jim's solid chest, surrounding him in security.

Jim turned them so they were facing the bank, and Blair squeezes his eyes shut. He couldn't look, but slowly he relaxed against Jim's firm frame and hesitantly opened his eyes. He drew in a noisy breath and Jim tensed behind him, and Blair squeezed his arms and hurried to reassure him. "It's okay. Really. I'd forgotten how beautiful water could be."

They stood that way for a long while, taking in the view together. It wasn't much in the scheme of things, but for Blair it was huge, that he was here and doing this. It might not be swimming, he wasn't ready for that, didn't know when he would be, but he got something back that he'd lost, and he knew that with Jim's solid presence at his side, he'd ultimately regain it all.