A/N: OLLO!
So, I'm back. Seriously, I have a really nasty habit with starting stories and leaving them dangling in the wind. I should get on that. However, I watched Megamind for the first time last week and FELL IN LOVE. God…may I please have a Megamind? I'll buy him a puppy! I'll buy him ten puppies!
I am totally obsessing over the Megarox couple, fyi. I got this idea for a story a little while ago. I don't know if it will include scenes from the movie, but there will be a separate storyline and original moments that come from yours truly. It's going to be several chapters long, and I actually have a ton of ideas in the works. I just have to find time to get them typed up.
Anyway, I don't own Megamind. I wish I did. I would totally be cool with being kidnapped by him. –wink-
After years of kidnapping and rescues, Roxanne Ritchi considers herself to be something of an expert on the superhero and villain of Metro City. If nothing else, she is certainly an expert on Metro Man. Anyone can be an expert on him, really. Just hang around him for an hour or so. He'll recite his life's story faster than you can tell him your name.
Not that she has anything against the hero. Wayne Scott had a good heart but he was nothing but a huge stereotype. Seriously, she sometimes wondered if he popped out of a Superman comic. He was a nice guy, but just too easy to understand. Roxanne liked a challenge.
It was the prospect of a challenge that made her so interested in Megamind. True, his actions were oftentimes just as, if not more, clichéd as Metro Man's. Seriously, death rays? Laser guns? Come on.
But despite the inevitable results of his evil plans, Roxanne was always being surprised by the blue man. Sometimes it was a moment of embarrassment in which she wondered how he managed not to curl into the fetal position and die. Other times it was a rare moment of graceful skill which seemed almost unnatural to her. However, as she began to notice these small triumphant moments, Roxanne had to wonder which face was the true face of Megamind. Talentless hack and professional annoyance? Or was he a truly gifted, albeit absentminded, genius capable of far more than he wants others to believe? As the number of interactions with the villain increased, Roxanne had to wonder...
Kidnapping #28
It was winter now and Roxanne was NOT happy. Seriously, for all his "big-headed braininess" couldn't Megamind have had the foresight to rig up some sort of nuclear radiator or something? He might be blue, but she felt like she was giving him a run for his money in the blueness department. Her face was stinging with cold.
"Miss Ritchi…we meet again." Megamind swiveled around in his chair and Roxanne bit back a giggle at his appearance. The man was wearing his usual leather cape and spiked boots, but wrapped around his skinny neck was a neon orange scarf with ugly brown fringe. The colors clashed to the point of humor.
"…so when Metro Man bursts down, the trap will be set!" He had been talking while she stared at the monstrosity around his neck. Snapping out of it, she shivered and tried to pay attention.
"I-I-I…" Megamind looked delighted.
"Scared speechless, eh?"
"N-N-No, you i-idiot. It's fr-freezing in here." She scoffed, managing to look haughty despite her discomfort. Megamind shrugged.
"Well, as I was saying anyway-aaaah!" Not looking where he was going, Megamind had wandered close to a machine with exposed gears. The brown fringe of his scarf was caught in a twisting cog and he spun frantically to avoid strangulation. Roxanne laughed, forgetting her discomfort in lieu of the present comedy routine. He twirled around like the world's least elegant ballerina, and Roxanne was entirely amused at how awkward her kidnapper was. Finally, he stopped twirling. Groaning, and successfully free of the orange monstrosity, Megamind tried to look collected.
"I…am really discombabulated." He sat down heavily on the floor in a flurry of leather and black cloth.
"Discombobulated, sir."
"Shut up Minion. Give me a second here." His face was slightly green. Roxanne shook her head as he tried to stand only to wobble and collapse again. Soon after, Metro Man had arrived and swept Megamind off to prison. She could hear him retching as they hurtled skyward. She had never seen that scarf again. Good thing too. It was the ugliest scarf she had ever seen.
Conclusion: Unimpressed
Kidnapping # 103
Groaning, Roxanne Ritchi woke up in total darkness. The bag on her head was quickly removed and she blinked at the sudden brightness. Shaking her head to clear it, she found herself sitting in the Evil Lair next to Minion.
"Hello, Miss Ritchi."
"Hey Minion. Thanks for washing the bag."
"Sir was really angry with me for letting it go so long. I almost forgot to clean it last laundry day."
"Well, that was nice of your boss. Maybe next time he could just forget the bag. In fact, let's go crazy! He could just forget me! No kidnapping! How do you think that would go over?"
"Not well." A rough voice sounded behind her. Megamind yawned, looking scruffier than she had ever seen him. His usually trim chin was covered in five'o'clock shadow and she could hear his back crack as he stretched. She stared at him. He looked rough and sleepy, as opposed to his usual hyper self. She liked it. She absently wondered what his face would feel like against hers before shaking her head frantically to rid herself of the thought. Megamind rubbed a long hand over his cheek, his chin making a scratchy sound.
"Pardon my appearance. I usually try to look my best, but time was not on my side. Presentation is always important, as I'm sure you realize. Metro Man must live in that ridiculous suit and you always look nice..."
A compliment? Roxanne felt herself flush as she watched him slink to his chair. He must have just woken up. His voice was lower and rougher than usual and she could just imagine him whispering in her ear…
Whoa! Back it up! She shook her head again and attempted to maintain her aloof persona. Megamind shook himself as well, and she could see he was attempting to get back into character. Before he could, Metro Man had burst in and confronted him. Megamind merely cocked an eyebrow, sent a meaningful glance to Minion, and held up his hands in silent surrender. Minion untied Roxanne as Metro Man approached. Megamind yawned, interrupting what was sure to be an oh-so-original heroic speech.
"Might as well. I'm tired today. See you next week, Miss Ritchi. Minion, don't forget the laundry and the brain bot repairs. Well, hero? Up, up and afar…or awake…or whatever the phrase is. Let's go!" He was picked up and heading off. Roxanne stared after him, still hearing his sleepy bedroom voice murmuring "See you next week…" Metro Man, for all his perfection, had nothing on the bad boy sleepy head. She was confused by his behavior, his remembering to wash the bag, and with his sexy scratchy voice. She was almost looking forward to next week…
Conclusion: Impressed
Kidnapping # 19
Roxanne blinked away the purple starbursts caused by that familiar burst of light that came with the removal of the kidnapping bag. Her vision focused in time to see Megamind swiveling his chair around with a dramatic evil laugh.
"So, Miss Ritchi, we meet aga-HIC! What was THAT?"
Roxanne cocked one eyebrow at the confused blue villain.
"What was what? Your hiccup?"
"What in the name of all that –HIC- is evil is a he-cup?" He retched, blinking rapidly as he stared at the restrained reporter.
"A hiccup. Not he-cup. That sounds wrong."
"What tri-HIC-kery is this? Some sort of sinister plot meant to –HIC- defeat me? Is this your doing?" She looked impassively at the accusatory finger pointing straight at her face. A silent moment passed by before she realized he was serious.
"Are you kidding me? Don't you know what a hiccup is?"
"Don't mo-HIC-ck me. This is obviously some sort of -HIC- curse caused by your temptress magic. Confess!" His emerald eyes flashed haughtily, though the effect was ruined by his decidedly squeaky hiccups.
Roxanne looked towards Minion in disbelief. The henchman leaned towards his boss and whispered quietly for a few seconds. Megamind's face flushed purple.
"Ahem. Never mind. -HIC-"
At that moment, the hero had swept in. Looking delighted, Megamind had produced some sort of ray gun and pointed it at him. Just as his finger pulled the trigger, a particularly impressive hiccup shook his skinny frame. The ray rebounded around the room until finally hitting the blue villain on the shoulder. He fell flat on the floor, completely immobilized. Roxanne noticed that Metro Man looked startled. Maybe Megamind really was improving...
On the floor, the blue alien growled in frustration. Through clenched teeth, he ground out,
"Foiled by the dastardly evil he-cups…perhaps a he-cup ray…I'll have to make a note of that..."
Roxanne had waited until she was back at her apartment before bursting out in laughter.
Conclusion: Unimpressed
A/N: So, there you have it. Chapter One of Impressions. There will be dozens of more kidnapping "flashbacks" so be on the lookout. If you have an idea that you REALLY want me to use, send me a review. I'll try to incorporate them in. How do you like it so far? Does it seem like a good idea? Let me know!
TTYL!