Sorry this took so long. I've been a bit sick (ton of colds going around my school, thankfully I got the flu shot before that hit but urg I still don't feel great).
Well, here's chapter nineteen of Writing on Tony's Wall! Enjoy, and thanks to general zargon for messaging this with me, as always.
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Chapter Nineteen: The Hunt, the Hit, and the Pranked!
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Damn, how many people get kidnapped around here anyways? Darcy, Spider-man, now Jane...and technically Spidey, Kid Goblin, and Loki's kids were in a hostage situation...hot damn we are kidnap magnets!
Clint
All right, I'll start a check for magic around the building.
Loki
PS: Imp, I am pleased with your delivery speed. Your salary will remain unchanged.
Loki, don't take this the wrong way, but you're a pain. I'd say worse, but then your kids read this wall after all. Oh, and Spidey and Tony said to activate mission coms, for anyone who hasn't yet. Me? I'm staying out of it and doing my homework while my charges hang with their grandmother.
Kid Goblin
Loki, how did you manage to find a babysitter who knows as much sarcasm as you? Then again, it may be a teenage mortal thing, looking at what your friend Spider-Man writes...-Frigga
*on coms*
Loki: Great, my kids' babysitter is in the same vicinity as my mother...I don't even want to know how that's going...
Tony: Don't forget you, Clint. Remember the incident with Bulls-Eyes?
Hank: Jan is trying to call Jane on her cell, but so far no luck.
Loki: If only it were that easy...and there isn't any trace of magic around the building, by the way.
Clint:...That doesn't count!
Natasha: Why not? Oh, and I checked with Jane's workplace, and they said that she left on time and that nothing seemed strange.
Steve: Okay, so we're looking for something that could happen en route from the lab Jane uses in New York to the Tower. Ideas?
Loki: Besides the most-likely-futile hope that she's just stuck in traffic with a dead cell phone? Oh, I don't know...still no signs of magic...just who do we think we're dealing with, exactly?
Tony: No traffic on that route, Jarvis checked. Next idea?
Thor: Perhaps if there was a way to find Jane's van...Son of Coul, you often seem to have ways of keeping track of our movements. Do you have any idea where her car might be?
Coulson: The tracking device in her car says that it's...somewhere in the Mediterranean? I'm going to double check the sensor, or else something strange is going on here.
Tony: Already checked it again. Sensors working fine, so yeah, something screwy is going on. Any ideas how Jane's car - possibly with Jane inside it - got to an island thousands of miles away?
Jan: Magic? Teleportation device? The universe deciding to mess with us?
Spider-Man: Anyone check the traffic cams? They might be able to provide a clue. Oh, and Miss Frigga said that there's going to be a party on Asgard in a week, and that Loki and Thor have to go or else. She didn't say what the 'or else' was...
Thor: Do not ask, Spider-Man. Now, which island? Is there a map I could use to get there?
Tony: Going through the traffic cams now...wow that construction near Madison is doing it all wrong...
Steve: Tony, focus. Look for Jane's car.
Coulson: Thor, I uploaded a map on your com. Please at least take Loki with you, for safety reasons.
Tony: Right...Okay, I found her, looks like she was stuck in traffic for a while...and then the camera frizzed out.
Natasha: Is 'frizzed' even an actual word?
Jan: You want to ask that NOW?
Loki: I hate to break up what would have been a - ahem - fascinating debate, but Thor and I have found Jane's car, minus Jane. Anyone have any better luck?
Spider-Man: Nope, none...you know, since you're the ones actually at the location. We're getting on a jet now though, so keep looking!
Tony: Wow, Loki is once-again out snark-ed by a teenager.
Loki: He is a teenager, Stark, they are automatically snarkier than everyone else. The fact that I can compete is actually rather amazing...oh, wait, what's that?
Thor: It seems to be left over energy...but energy from what?
Loki: Thor, I do hope you remember that there is an Asgardian sorceress who wants to date you and therefore very much dislikes Jane and-there he goes. Well, this looks fun. Prepare for a magic villain, everyone!
Steve: Our eta is 15 minutes, but Tony should be there in around 6 since his suit can break the sound barrier. Should we expect magical guards or anything like that?
Tony: Better yet, where are we actually going? The Enchantress isn't on that island anymore, is she?
Loki: No, she isn't. I'm sending you quardinates now. Be prepared for stone golems and vases that, when touched, turn someone into a random animal.
Spider-Man: So pretty much the usual then?
Clint: Yup.
Tony: Great. I'd like to take this moment before I arrive to remind everyone of how much I hate magic.
Coulson: I checked the coordinates. It's not so much another island as a few large rocks jutting out of the sea. Be careful with your footing, and I'd recommend to be on guard for the Enchantress to try something over-dramatic, given the location.
Steve: Great…Lord save us from over-dramatic supervillains...and teammates if You don't mind.
Loki: I heard that.
Tony: Me too. Steve, meet doghouse.
Natasha: That's okay, Steve can stay with me until you get over it.
Tony: Wait, what?
Jan: Oh, we're here!
Hank: Are those...giant sea urchins?
Jan: Looks like it. Anyone up for being the pincushion/decoy?
Hank: Spider-Man, can you web them?
Spider-Man: Let me-nope, that didn't work. Looks like it just covers some of the spines, I can't get a good enough grip to move them...
Tony: Spidey, that's actually useful. Cover them so we don't get stuck!
Hulk: OOW! Puny purple spikeball hurt Hulk!
Spider-Man: Ah...too late.
Steve: Well, that takes care of the sea urchins...I hope they don't land on anything important.
Clint: If they do, SHIELD will take care of it, and we'll probably hear all about it from Coulson.
Tony: True - ow, stray spine!
Steve: I hope those aren't poisonous...
Thor: Where are you all? Loki and I did not encounter any sea urchins when we arrived.
Loki: Oh, Oh, I see them. Everyone, you're on the wrong rocks. You're supposed to be on THESE rocks. Oh for crying out loud, look left!
Tony: Oh, didn't even see those. Oops.
Clint: A civilian in danger, we just got fooled and wasted time, and he says "oops". Sure. Why not?
Tony: Okay, look, let's just move rocks, and keep looking for-oh, look, there's the Enchantress now. Prepare for villain monologue, everyone!
Steve: You know, as monologues go, that one actually wasn't that bad...at least until she teleported Jane in, then transformed her into a mountain goat.
Natasha: You know, I've never actually seen Thor that angry. Or summon that much lightning at one time.
Jan: Yeah, but it was pretty funny when Jane head-butted the Enchantress in the stomach.
Clint: Very true. Hey Loki, any chance of you reversing the transformation, or does the Enchantress have to do it?
Loki: My plan is to wait until Amora is defeated, then turn her back. See, Amora's sort of ignoring her right now, and Hulk's keeping her safe due to his love of furry animals, so she's acutally safer than she would be as a human.
Tony: And she'll probably still kill you if she ever finds the record of this convo
Spider-Man: I think Jane will understand...ooh, big guy with an axe. Loki, who's he?
Loki: Skruge the Executioner. He has a crush on Amora, but wants her to be happy and therefore helps her try and get Thor. Yes, he is strange, isn't he? Spider, be a dear and web him. I've got a new ice trick to try...
Hank:...I'm pretty sure that trick violates a few laws of the Geneva Convention, Loki.
Loki: So?
Hank:...Nevermind.
Clint: You know, I just noticed this, but Jane as a mountain goat is actually pretty furry. Somebody get a picture!
Tony: Already done.
Spider-Man: And double-done. What? You guys know I take pictures of me doing this kind of thing for a living. Why is it so weird I have a camera?
Clint: Just wondering where you keep it, Spidey. That costume can't hide much...
Tony: Or anything XD.
Loki: I'm not hearing this.
Thor: Amora is vanquished. Now will someone please pull by brother's fingers out of his ears so he shall stop singing 'I can't hear you, lalalala' and return Jane to normal?
Steve: I'll do it.
Thor: My thanks, Steve. I would rather my girlfriend not be a furry, mountain-dwelling animal longer than necessary.
Natasha: Is it just me, or is Jane glaring at Spider-Man rather evilly?
Jan: It's not just you...do you think she saw Spidey's camera?
Loki: Okay, I'm changing Jane back to normal now. Spider, I suggest you start running. :)
Spider-Man: Be on the jet bye!
Hulk: Spidey runs really fast...
Steve: Sadly, Jane does look ready to kill him.
Spider-Man: I also photographed the Enchantress getting her butt kicked damn it! That's the only one I'll show people I swear!
Hank: At the moment, I don't really think Jane cares, Spidey.
Jane: You're dang right I don't! Those pictures of me are going to be destroyed!
Tony:...Good thing the ones I took are digital. :)
Clint: You probably shouldn't have mentioned that, Tony...
Steve: You know, I'm amazed how much of a chase can go on inside this jet.
Loki: I'm more amazed Spider managed to hide for twenty minutes in one of the above-head compartments, myself.
Coulson: How about you amaze me and get the Enchantress and her pal back here without further incident?
Tony: And this is why I fly outside the plane, everybody!
*Back on the wall*
Natasha: Well, aside from Spidey having to go to the infirmary and Tony getting a black eye, I say that mission went pretty well.
What I want to know is how Jane managed that through my helmet! -Tony
Pepper: And you will never find out, Tony.
Hey, I was just wondering, why exactly is there a sturgeon in the swimming pool now? Did Tony find some new bugs in his fish translator or something?
Clint
Tony: I did not put that there. On the other hand, I know a great sushi chef who will LOVE that fish.
Kid Goblin: So...Spidey's in the infirmary? I might not forgive you guys if you break my best friend.
Okay, one, Jane did it because he couldn't resist his picture-taking tendencies (still want to know where he hides that camera), and two...yeah, what exactly would you do, IMP?-Clint
Loki-Coulson, we simply must discuss Hawkeye's proclivity for annoying people he does not need to. If you need me, I am plotting revenge with two teenagers in an undisclosed location.
PS: Barton, I found that little prank of yours. For attempting something so amateur on me, you shall pay!
Jan: Um, actually, that prank was me. Sorry! I was trying to get Tony!
...Where did you get all that butterscotch pudding, Jan? -Bruce
Coulson: I've given up on breaking Clint of that habit, Loki. It just doesn't work. And I'm wondering about the pudding myself...
Jane and I will not be available for the rest of the day (and possibly a good deal of tomorrow).
Thor
Spider-Aunt: Tell Loki to get out of the 'undisclosed location' soon. It's the boy's curfew in an hour.
Bust-ed-Tony
Not at all, Tony, not at all. We're already done.
Oh, and Jan? We knew the Butterscotch was you-Loki forgives you because it tasted really good and he and I were hungry (and KG likes sweets too). He meant the confetti cannon in his bedroom-and I think he's more mad that Clint went in than anything else.
Spider-Man
Clint! You stole my confetti canon? Boys and demigod, I want in!-Tony
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