A Knock on the Door

"If you need to be mad at someone, be angry with ME." Agent Hotchner reminded Reid.

"I wasn't over at your house for 10 weeks crying."

The pair paused, for a moment there was a look that passed between them. Reid knew what Hotch was doing, he saw how Morgan was facing Prentiss and how he was forced to face JJ, to 'fix' their family, but damn it Hotch should know better!

He dared him to counter, to break the veil of lover and boss. Hotch wouldn't give Reid the opportunity. JJ, or 'Jennifer' as Reid had called her (it would be amusing if it weren't so tense), had called into question Reid's ability to profile instead of see the blind trust Reid had put into her, put into them both and had been betrayed.

Wasn't that always how blind trust worked out?

Rossi, that clever bastard, had seen through the roose, not all that surprisingly, he knew just how much Prentiss weighed when she had no more to give thanks to a blue little helper pill.

It was only fitting he'd host the reunion to mend it, even if Gideon was a much better cook, seriously? Al dente? That's Italian for under-cooked and crunchy, not good. Aaron said nothing, Hotch said nothing… instead he just chewed on too-crunchy spaghetti and reflected on just why Rossi had a great wine collection and a chef on staff for when he was in town.

He waited until the red wines were flowing more freely before he cornered his lover.

"You didn't show up crying for 10 weeks, but I was comforting you, so why aren't you mad at me?" Aaron said to his slightly tipsy lover.

"…Because I can't stay mad at you. Don't you get it? Some things I'd have to forgive, it's nature's own safe-guard. Love makes us able to do completely insane, irrational things. Believe me, I'd love to be pissed off at you, but you didn't directly betray my trust, you just towed the company line." Spencer said, he looked down.

"You never told me you were tempted to use dilaudid."

"And how exactly would you recommend I bring that up? You towed the company line, remember?" He let out a sigh. "You're also one of the two reasons I didn't do it, no matter how bad it got. You and Jack." He looked down.

"I'm starting to think you have ulterior motives for not being mad." Aaron crossed his arms.

"So you can't apologize and instead are wallowing in your own guilt?"

"Something along those lines, yes."

"Rossi's such an ass. I'm just as good of a profiler."

Aaron smiled, he leaned in and kissed his lover.

"Aaron, I mean it, I don't want you to carry guilt around over this… and if it means laying off of it on JJ…" he paused for a moment to construct his thoughts, he looked at the friendly blond, mother to his god-child, "Then you'll just have to be guilty for a little longer, because I am still SO pissed."

Aaron's head flopped into Spencer's shoulder, "…You can't hold this grudge out for too long."

"I know, have to save steam for my dad, lest he'd feel 'neglected'. Speaking of which, I think I need to write a paper about the long-term damaging effects of childhood neglect on the adult psyche. He'll google it, I'll feel better, he'll feel he's 'helped' me gain great insights and then have a drink. Fucking ass." He let out a huff.

"Spencer, next time, really- if you're craving…"

"I know thoughts of you got me through moments, but other times… Aaron, other times I didn't go to JJ's house. Those nights I showed up, god I must have looked wily-eyed and strung out… after I'd cry for hours in my apartment… and then when I thought I couldn't cry any more… how dilaudid would make me stop feeling anything… I thought about your touch, I'd show up at your door before I realized my feet were moving me through the subway… and you'd touch me… Aaron Hotchner, you should be registered with the FDA because you, indeed, are a drug. Class I narcotic, best trip of my life."

Aaron slid a hand down his face, "…You did NOT just say that…"

"The tent in your pants seems fine with the declaration."

For a moment, Aaron debated how well Dave knew his own mansion, if he could find a room he and Spencer could… fix these circumstances, but instead, he opted to grab his keys, "Let's go home Spencer."

"I'd like that."

Fin.