AN: I'm sorry this took so long. I got halfway through typing it and then I had to do exams so I've only finished it today. I know it's not very good, either; I was very tired.

PART THE FIFTH

I can see you. –MH

Sherlock wants me to tell you that he is ignoring you. –JW

Tsk. I'm only following your car to ensure Moriarty doesn't explode you. –MH

Too late. –JM

Oh, good. –SH

No snarky comments, Sherlock? I'm surprised. –JM

I warned you. –MH

Quite frankly, I can't be bothered. Nest time you threaten me can you please make it more original? –SH

Dear me, Sherlock. I thought I told you about talking to the criminal. –MH

Ignoring you –SH

You just texted me, Sherlock, you aren't ignoring me. Now, I suggest you leave before the criminal makes his move. –MH

Too late :) –JM

Not including this I will not make the same mistake a second time, Mycroft. –SH

Will you ever tire of blowing up my flat? Please, it is getting dull. Also, I feel I must warn you that you have an angry army doctor on your hands due to the fact that you made him spill his tea. John can be quite terrifying when deprived of tea. –SH

Warnings, Sherlock? That's not like you. Your little pet must be having an influence on you. I'm very sorry about his tea… Well, no, I'm not. And you should get another flat. This one is too easy to wire and explode. It's dull. –JM

You never learn, do you Sherlock? –MH

Then why keep destroying it? This leads me to the conclusion that you are the one who is becoming dull. Next time you do feel a destructive urge do the world a favour and blow upAnderson's place. Maybe that will get him out of my way. –SH

Sherlock! That is incitement to commit a crime. I should be angry with you but it's Anderson so I'll let you off this once. –MH

Good idea. He's almost as annoying as you. –JM

Glad we agree on something. –SH

Sherlock, I'm not going to keep ignoring this. Cease to consort with criminals and I may not tell Mummy. –MH

Why hello there Moriarty, what've you been up to lately? Just as a side note: Did you have anything to do with that incident inHyde Parklast week? –JW

I may have done. You two are detectives, or a Detective And His Dog, you figure it out. –JM

Am. Not. His. Dog. Or anyone else's for that matter. –JW

Touché. And you're so his pet. –JM

No. –JW

Whatcha gonna do? Bite me? –JM

Shut it. –JW

Honestly, John, you make it sound like a bad thing. Skull substitute, pet, it's all the same really. Quite the honour. –SH

I will not take orders from you, Doctor Watson. Sherlock, control your pet. –JM

No. It's far too entertaining to watch. –SH

Oh, you find that funny? Obviously you're in need of some more entertainment. Off you go on my next game. Watch out for mines. –JM

It is funny. Exceedingly so. And I'm glad to hear it; I was beginning to fear that the criminal world had gone on holiday. –SH

Well, Christmas is approaching. Many of us are taking time off. I'm simply devoted to ruining your life. –JM

I'm honoured. –SH

As you should be. –JM

Doesn't mean I won't try and catch you. –SH

Good. That would take all the fun out of it. –JM

I agree. –SH

… Freaks. -JW