Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any characters therein.

A/N: A request from Dustland-Fairytales. Will make more sense if you've read 'Brother of the Bride' first, but it's not required.

Staying Informed

Sasuke was not eavesdropping.

No, of course not. It wasn't his fault that his wallet had mysteriously escaped his pocket and fallen directly in front of the apartment door. It wasn't his fault that said wallet was similar in color to the carpet (…well, they were both brown, anyway) and thus was proving slightly difficult to find, especially since he was pointedly ignoring it in favor of pressing his ear shamelessly against the door. And it was hardly his fault that his cousin was a complete moron and thus needed to be monitored carefully, lest he screw up anything important.

Fine. Maybe he was eavesdropping a tiny little bit.

Shisui had cornered him a few hours after Christmas dinner (which, thanks to some higher power, Itachi had had nothing to do with cooking) and inquired cheerfully as to when the younger Uchiha was planning on leaving. Sasuke had been making up excuses to stay longer for basically the entire night, so by this point he'd been pretty sure there was a thinly veiled threat lurking underneath the question.

Subtlety never had been his cousin's strong suit.

Sasuke knew why he was being kicked out, of course. He was all too aware. He had, after all, been present when Shisui bought The Ring (and yes, it merited the capitalization). He had put up with his idiot cousin in the hour leading up to the purchase as well, swallowing his desire to murder the man out of respect for his big brother's (woefully misguided) affection. In fact, if you looked at it that way, Sasuke was well within his rights to listen in. He was practically entitled to it.

Besides, he needed to hear Itachi's answer with his own ears. If he said no, then Sasuke was free to go home and thank God none of them attended family reunions anyway. If he said yes…well, he'd cross that bridge if they came to it.

Unfortunately, Shisui seemed hell-bent on dragging this out as long as possible. Sasuke had been crouched on their welcome mat for what seemed like a good fifteen minutes with no conversation from the other side of the door.

Maybe he knows I'm here, Sasuke thought in a moment of panic. He could be trying to break me.

…It's also possible, he conceded, that I'm getting paranoid. The day Shisui does something that smart, Hell will freeze over and masses of pigs will take flight.

A cough came from inside the apartment. Sasuke immediately pressed his ear even harder against the door, eyes shut tight as if by sacrificing one sense he could amplify another.

But nothing came of it. The cougher cleared his throat and then there was nothing but the clink of plates being cleared.

Sasuke exhaled. False alarm.

He was starting to consider the possibility that he was cracking up. After all, what kind of little brother listened in on his big brother's marriage proposal? It was supposed to be a private thing. Nobody with a conscience would be doing it.

Times like these Sasuke considered himself lucky that he was born an Uchiha, and therefore didn't need to worry about having a conscience to begin with. Family perk.

Still, he didn't know what he was going to do if Itachi said yes. Actually, he was rather hoping for the opposite. An outright rejection wasn't necessary (he'd come to terms with Shisui's inability to take anything seriously; given a few years or so, he might even be able to stay in the same room with the guy for more than five minutes), but a simple "let's take things slow" would be nice. A compromise. Itachi was all about compromise, besides which Sasuke had never known his brother to rush into anything. He took ten minutes weighing the benefits of skim milk over one percent, for God's sake.

A sigh of relief washed over him. Of course Itachi would say something like that. That was simply the way his big brother operated—think things over, do the logical thing, never act on impulse or emotion. And if Shisui honestly loved him like he claimed to, it wouldn't be a problem.

"…tachi?"

Sasuke stiffened. It was muffled, but that had sounded like Shisui's voice. Saying Itachi's name. His stomach turned over.

"…ask you something."

He was only getting the tail ends of sentences. Sasuke flattened himself against the door, hoping he didn't end up with wood slivers in his ear as payment.

"Look…um…"

That was much better. He could hear almost every word, Shisui's uncharacteristic verbal squirming and all.

"What is wrong?"

There was Itachi's voice, sounded perplexed. Sasuke almost felt bad for Shisui; his brother was clueless when it came to things like this. It worried him sometimes.

Shisui was speaking again. "Um…look…you know I love you, right?"

Just as Sasuke was resisting the impulse to roll his eyes expansively at Shisui's cheesy dialogue, a pointed shoe dug itself into his ribs and he had to swallow a yelp to avoid giving himself away.

Eyes watering, he glared up at a blond—woman? man?—with folded arms. He—she—it was carrying a potter's wheel topped with a bow and staring at him with something like amusement.

"It's rude to eavesdrop, hmm?"

Definitely a man, then. Sasuke rubbed his new sore spot furiously and hissed, "I am not eavesdropping, you prick. I'm…I'm…" Shit. "Staying informed," he finished lamely.

Blondie snickered. "Sure you are. What, is your boyfriend cheating on you or something, hmm?"

The realization that he had probably wasted five lines of conversation on this idiot hit Sasuke like a ton of bricks.

"Either leave me alone or shut up," he snapped in an undertone, putting his ear to the door again. "I need to know just how fucked up my family tree is about to become."

The blond raised an eyebrow and plopped down on the carpet as well, looking interested. Not that Sasuke noticed. He was too busy trying to discern the words "wait", "take it slow" or "think about it" from inside the living room.

For several seconds, all he heard was silence.

Then Itachi's voice spoke, sounding calm as always but happier than Sasuke had heard it in a very long time:

"Yes."

And that was when Sasuke very nearly smashed his head through the door.

.

He pulled away from the door, stood and started walking down the hallway. He had his answer; he certainly didn't feel a need to listen to (or think about) whatever came after.

Well. That was then end of that, then.

"Oy."

Sasuke turned to see the girly blond holding out a brown wallet.

"You dropped this," the guy remarked with a smirk. "So how's that family tree looking, hmm?"

"At this rate?" Sasuke replied dryly, taking his wallet. "Dead."

Blondie laughed and shifted the weight of his potter's wheel. "What're you going to do now?"

Sasuke found he couldn't keep his eye from twitching. At length, he said "Practice looking surprised. Schedule a fitting for a damn tux." He sighed. "And…start thinking about wedding gifts, I suppose."

After all, if Itachi was happy with Shisui, then Sasuke was not going to be the one to bring him down.

His cell rang just as that thought crossed Sasuke's mind. He raised a dubious eyebrow as Shisui's self-set ring tone ("If you were gay…that'd be okay!") shattered the silence. He also ignored Blondie's resulting snicker as he flipped open the phone.

"Hiya, Squirt."

Shisui sounded even cheerier than usual. Sasuke forced a normal tone of voice and replied.

"And?"

"He said yes." Shisui burst out laughing. "Sasuke, he said yes."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but it was impossible to be venomous in the face of such irritatingly unabashed joy. "There was never any doubt, you pinhead," he said dryly.

"I'm flattered I inspire such confidence."

"It wasn't a compliment," he retorted. "Anyway…congratulations, I guess." He cleared his throat. "To both of you."

"…Thanks. That means a lot."

"So," Sasuke began after an awkward minute, determined to reenter their usual pattern before they embarrassed themselves any further. "Do you want me to come along and help pick out the dress?"

"No, I think Itachi'll be going for the more traditional approach," Shisui replied breezily, moving on before Sasuke had time to swear at him. "Oh yeah, you know what I just realized?"

Sasuke, whose grip was already dangerously tight on his cell phone, ground out the word. "What?"

"I just realized—" Damn if he couldn't hear the bastard grinning "—that you're gonna have to call me your brother-in-law from now on. Ain't that something?"

And that was when Sasuke snapped his cell phone in half with his bare hands.

Fin