A/N : New chapter for Christmas =)

Where Do We Draw the Line

Part 2 : Chapter 15

"Cas was really taken with your cleaning," Sam said in a way of greeting when Dean opened the door for him to let him inside his old home. Dean relaxed immediately and let Sam in with the condition he'd have dinner with him and Lisa. Sam agreed readily only because Jessica was working late and there was nothing at his place to eat at the moment.

"How was he?" Dean asked worriedly, he wasn't sure if Castiel would be okay after everything that had gone down between them. Sam kicked his shoes off and hanged his coat while thinking about how to answer without saying anything that wasn't true.

"He's fine. He misses you but I don't think he has much more patience for you anymore. He seems really set on leaving the country," Sam replied in a low voice so that Lisa wouldn't hear them. "Though he did say you're free to tag along," Sam continued when Dean's face fell. Even though it was nice to know he could go to Europe with Castiel it didn't change the fact that Castiel was obviously going there regardless of what Dean choose, and Dean hadn't forgotten that Castiel didn't know he was getting a divorce just yet, so he was probably expecting Dean to stay with Lisa.

Dean thought about calling Castiel and telling him he was coming over right away so that he could tell Castiel about his divorce, but it was getting late and Castiel had just gotten off a possibly long flight, so maybe it wouldn't be the nicest thing to do.

"Cas said he'd be going to bed early," Sam informed Dean like he had read his brother's mind, and Dean gave him his innocent face. Sam wasn't fooled, though, and he raised his eyebrows pointedly. Dean was just about to argue his point when Lisa came to see what was taking so long, and Dean decided to drop the matter for now. It didn't stop him from giving Sam a nasty glare that Sam responded with a knowing smirk.

"Food's ready," Lisa said and returned to the kitchen after making sure the brothers had paid attention to her and gotten the message. Sam and Dean followed her in stubborn silence, Sam trying to convince Dean to leave Castiel alone for the day without words and Dean ignoring him to the best of his abilities.

Dean suspected that eating dinner with your soon to be officially former wife should have been more awkward than it was, but maybe having Sam there to keep the conversation flowing and the atmosphere light. After the dinner Sam helped Dean pack some of his stuff before they left, and before Dean stepped out of the door he wondered if he could hug Lisa. In the end the closed of stance Lisa had made Dean back off, but it would have been nice to still be able to just walk up to her and hold her. Maybe in time they would reach that place where they were friends, but Dean knew that for now the wounds were still too fresh, especially for Lisa.

"Cas promised to make us dinner this weekend. We were thinking Saturday," Sam told Dean after they got into Sam's car. Dean was surprised by Castiel's promise, mainly because he hadn't known Sam and Castiel were good enough friends to plan dinner dates together.

"How'd you get him to cook?" Dean asked curiously and hoped the us Sam had said included him.

"I took him to buy groceries and we bonded over healthy food," Sam explained matter of factly, and Dean thought he should have figured it out sooner, of course he had to fall for a guy who was as enthusiastic about healthy stuff than his brother, and once the two of them found out about it an instant bonding moment would have been unavoidable. And it seemed as if it had happened, and there was nothing Dean could do to stop it. Dean shook his head with a smile on his face and turned his attention to the road.

"You're invited as well," Sam added as an afterthought, and Dean simply nodded to let Sam know he had been heard. Dean was relieved he didn't have to ask Sam if he could come.

"You need to talk to Cas before the dinner, let him know what's going on," Sam continued and glanced at Dean who was still staring at the road.

"I will. I'll call Cas tomorrow. Or send him a text later today," Dean promised, and he was going to keep his promise. Dean started to come up with possible things he could say to Castiel tomorrow, as well as plan a good text to send him because Dean didn't think he had it in him to keep himself from contacting Castiel as soon as possible.

They arrived at Sam's place before Jessica did, and Dean helped Sam fix her a light dinner. Sam was happily surprised when Dean offered to help him, and they managed to finish the dinner right when Jessica walked in. She looked tired, but her face lit up when she saw the brothers in the kitchen, holding a plate of pasta and chicken with triumphant smiles. She became even more happy after Sam told her about their upcoming dinner with Castiel.

"Do you think we should tell her why Lisa and I are breaking up?" Dean asked when he and Sam entered the living room, leaving Jessica to eat in peace in the kitchen. Sam glanced towards the kitchen before giving Dean his full attention.

"She should know, but what if Lisa doesn't want her to find out?" Sam said, and he did have a point, Dean thought he should probably ask what Lisa thought they should tell people. Dean added the topic to his mental list of things he needed to go through with Lisa, but then Sam turned on the TV and Dean's attention got focused on the procedural cop show his brother had chosen to watch.

Later, after Sam and Jessica had gone to bed, Dean was lying on the couch and twiddling with his phone, trying to come up with something to text to Castiel. Maybe the easiest thing to do was to just send Cas a text asking when he would be able to meet up, and in the end that was exactly what Dean did, though he did wonder when it had become so hard to text Castiel, it used to be a lot simpler. Castiel answered a few minutes later telling Dean to come by the next day, and Dean sent a quick message of affirmation to Cas before trying to fall asleep.

In the end Dean ended up waking up around 5:00a.m after a restless night, and since it was Thursday and he had to go to work there was really no point in trying to go back to sleep. Dean did his best to be quiet as he went about his morning routines before leaving for work almost an hour earlier than he needed. It was still too early to ask Castiel if he could come over straight from work, but Dean could keep himself busy with work for a few hours. To Dean's eternal dismay his boss decided to come over and give him a pep talk, with a thinly veiled threat in case Dean decided to show off his bad mood again. Dean smiled at Zachariah and assured him there would be no more bad days at work for Dean, and after receiving one final compliment for his new tie Dean was left alone, and he aimed for making this day as productive as possible.

It wasn't until lunch time that Dean decided he could call Castiel, since Castiel should be awake by then. He went to his usual café to get lunch, and after sitting in a table with as far away from people as possible he dug out his phone and called Castiel, who answered after a few seconds with a tired voice.

"Hey, I was just thinking if it'd be okay for me to drop by after work?" Dean asked in a gentle voice while idly stirring his coffee with a spoon.

"Hmm. Why not, I don't have anything to do today," Castiel replied and Dean could hear him pouring coffee over the line.

"Okay, great. I'll see you in a few hours then," Dean said, relieved that Castiel was okay with him dropping by even though they had agreed on it last night. They fell into a loaded silence, neither one of them sure of what to say but unwilling to just end the call.

"I could make us something to eat. I mean, when you come over, not right now," Castiel said suddenly.

"Sure," Dean agreed without hesitation. Dean promised to let Castiel know when he was leaving work so that Castiel would have some time to prepare before Dean showed up behind his door, and after the call ended Dean felt more nervous than he had since telling Lisa about Castiel, though Dean would have been lying if he'd have said he wasn't a bit exited as well.

The one thing that worried Dean was the possibility of Castiel not liking the news of Dean getting a divorce, especially since Dean was, for a big part, doing it for a chance to spend his life with Castiel. Dean decided it wasn't something he should be over thinking about, since if he kept mulling over the possibility of Castiel telling him to go screw himself he would end up ruining the whole telling Cas about his divorce thing. Dean returned to work after finishing his lunch while trying his best not to think about all the possible ways his day could turn up like.

Waiting for Dean to come got harder and harder as the hours went by, and by the time Dean sent Castiel a text telling him he would be leaving work in ten minutes Castiel was ready to burst from anticipation. He didn't know what Dean wanted to tell him, and a part of him didn't even want to find out. On the other hand Castiel wasn't quite sure how to act around Dean after their last encounter, because while he was still a bit mad at Dean and wanted to keep his distance, he also wanted to have his way with Dean, possibly against his front door.

When Dean rang the door bell Castiel jumped a little in surprise and hurried to open the door, trying to decide hastily what would be the appropriate way of greeting Dean at this moment. Still, when Castiel saw Dean standing awkwardly behind his door he forgot all about his intention of playing things as cool as he could, and he couldn't stop himself from smiling fondly at the way Dean was shifting his weight minutely from one foot to another, or how he was unconsciously playing with his sleeve. Castiel let him in without a second thought, but when the door closed behind Dean some of the easiness Castiel had felt upon seeing Dean again vanished.

"I made pizza rolls," Castiel said in a way of opening conversation while Dean shed his suit jacket and hanged it up. Castiel escaped to the kitchen before Dean could do more than smile at him, and started to set the table, he wanted his moods to stop swinging from one emotion to another for ten minutes. Dean came to help Castiel, and after they set the table in silence Dean stepped in front of Castiel and gently brought his hand to cup Castiel's face, and Castiel allowed the touch for now.

"Let me see that," Dean said softly and and turned Castiel's head so that he could study the spot where the bruise from Dean's punch had been, to Castiel's eternal relief it had faded away a few days before he had left so there was no actual sign of what Dean had done, but that didn't stop Dean from gingerly caressing the spot with his thumb. Castiel took in the guilty expression on Dean's face and let himself lean slightly to the warmth of Dean's hand.

"I'm fine," Castiel assured Dean softly, breaking the quiet surrounding them and briefly regretting it, but then Dean was pressing an apologetic kiss to the spot he had been caressing and Castiel closed his eyes at the sensation.

"It doesn't make it okay," Dean whispered and wrapped his arms around Castiel. "I don't know how I should apologize," he continued and rubbed small circles to Castiel's back.

"You could start by pretending to enjoy my pizza rolls. I figured out how to make them myself but I have no idea how they taste," Castiel quipped in an attempt to lighten the mood. He wanted them to talk before any forgiveness was given, and he knew they wouldn't talk if they were wrapped up in each others arms.

"I'm sure they're great," Dean assured and let go of Castiel reluctantly. They sat down and Castiel watched anxiously as Dean took his first bite of Castiel's hand made pizza rolls. Dean's face melted in obvious enjoyment and he gave Castiel the thumbs up while he chewed. Castiel smiled proudly and sat a little straighter before tasting his food, and he had to admit he was good, though he still had some way to go before he'd reach Anna's level.

They chatted idly about everyday things while they ate, and though Castiel was still nervous and a little guarded he was glad they could still fall into conversation so easily after everything that had happened. They cleaned the table in unison and Dean made them some coffee for dessert while Castiel took out the muffins he had bought earlier to busy himself while he had waited for Dean to come. The air around them grew heavier after they moved to the living room with their muffins and coffee, and Castiel knew this was the moment they would sort things through like adults.

"Before you say anything I just want you to know I'm sorry for what I said when, you know, we had that fight. I didn't really mean it," Castiel started before Dean could say anything, and Dean gave him a brief smile and a nod, and turned fully towards Castiel.

"It's okay, we both said and did things we didn't mean," Dean said sincerely. Dean started to tap his fingers against his coffee mug anxiously with nervous excitement in his eyes, making Castiel really curious as to what Dean was going to tell him. Castiel waited for Dean to say what he had to say, though he was sure his curiosity was shining on his face.

"Okay, I'm just gonna say it," Dean declared after a couple of false starts, placed his mug on the coffee table before doing the same for Castiel's mug, and he looked Castiel straight in the eyes as he spoke. "Lisa and I are getting a divorce."

Castiel's eyes widened in shocked surprise, and his jaw might have dropped to the floor. He was absently thankful for Dean for taking his mug and putting it on the table, because what ever he had expected Dean to tell him it was not this, and he would have dropped the mug. Dean was divorcing his wife. It was like a dream, and while Castiel was having trouble processing Dean's words his brain unhelpfully supplied him with all the things he could now have with Dean.

"Could you say something?" Dean's anxious voice cut through the shock Castiel was in, and he shook his head in order to clear his mind before frowning and trying to come up with something to say, because what was he supposed to say?

"Can I ask why?" Castiel decided he wanted to know the reason for the divorce, because talking about what would happen after it wasn't something he was ready to talk about just yet, he had never even dared to hope such thing would be a possibility.

"I told Lias about us. What was going on before, it wasn't fair to any of us, so I made my choice and grew some new balls and told Lisa everything. I actually wanted you to know I was going to tell Lisa the last time we saw," Dean told Castiel, who nodded slowly while thinking about what to say next.

"I wanted to be with you. I still do, and I left Lisa so that could happen. I need you," Dean said before Castiel had a chance to come up with anything. Castiel turned his attention to Dean and gave him a strangely happy yet confused smile.

"I can't believe you left your wife for me," he admitted, and his voice broke a little in the end. It suddenly hit Castiel that someone had thought him worthy enough to leave someone they had sworn to love until the day they died, and it was a little bit too much for him. Castiel tried to keep himself from actually crying, but if the sudden worry in Dean's eyes was anything to go by he was doing a poor job at hiding it.

"Hey, it's okay. Just tell me what's wrong," Dean said gently and scooted closer to Cas in order to rub his shoulder comfortingly. The aborted move Dean made to wrap his arms around Castiel made it clear that Dean wasn't sure if he was allowed to hold Castiel, and for once Castiel was happier with Dean not holding him.

"Nothing. You just took me by surprise," Castiel explained after clearing his throat and gave Dean a weak smile. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to tell Dean he was still going to the school in Europe, but in the back of his mind Castiel thought that maybe he could stay, there were good schools closer and maybe Dean would be willing to move to another state with him.

"Look, I don't want you to think this is some kind of ultimatum for you to stay here. I know you want to go to that school, and even though I really hate it I'll deal," Dean said after Castiel didn't elaborate his words, and Castiel wouldn't have been too surprised if Dean would have been able to see his thought process on his face.

"But I still gotta ask, haven't you thought about going to a school a little closer?" Dean continued lightly, though the note of desperation was clear to Castiel.

"I've thought about it," Castiel admitted quietly. "But I don't know. I just feel like going away for a while." Dean frowned in confusion, but Castiel wasn't going to elaborate his words.

"Why?" Dean questioned a bit harshly, and Castiel had to physically turn away from Dean.

"I want time to get my life back in order, and I need time to decide what's best for me right now. This whole thing between us has been just so, I don't know. I just wish you'd stop hurting me." Castiel knew he was hurting Dean, and it was all a little worse than he had anticipated because Dean had left his wife for Castiel, and even he was having hard time believing the words coming out of his mouth. Dean pulled back form Castiel, and Castiel didn't dare to look at him in fear of seeing Dean's heart break before his eyes.

"Okay. I get it. The whole me being married thing mustn't have been easy for you," Dean assured Castiel weakly.

"Yeah. I keep thinking that maybe if I go to Europe for a semester or two and then I come back, and we could take a break for that time. I mean, you have that divorce to worry about and I'd get my life in order in the mean time. And when we're both at a place where everything's good we can see if we want to give this another go and we'll be at a lot better place to do it," Castiel hurried to suggest, he didn't want to hurt Dean any more than was absolutely necessary. Dean thought about Castiel's words for a long while, and for a moment Castiel was worried he wasn't going to say anything.

"I hate to admit it but you're kinda right," Dean said finally with resignation in his voice. Castiel risked a glance at Dean and found him studying his hands sadly. Castiel took Dean's hand on his own and squeezed it tightly, hoping Dean would understand that this wasn't an ending. Dean raised his eyes to meet Castiel's and smiled crookedly, though the smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Where are you staying?" Castiel asked suddenly, just realizing that Dean might have been kicked out of his home. Dean snorted in genuine amusement, and Castiel took that as a winning.

"With Sam and Jessica. It's nice but the couch is giving me some hellish back pain," Dean told Cas, and for a moment they forgot all their troubles as Dean started to tell Castiel about his life with his brother and they drank their coffees and ate their muffins.

"You're probably ruining their sex life. Unless they can be really quiet and they're actually having sex with you in the apartment," Castiel pointed out after Dean finished telling about the time Jessica had thanked Dean for staying late at work earlier that week. Dean stared Castiel blankly for a few seconds before his face was overtaken by a look of horror.

"Jesus Christ that's disgusting. I don't want to think about my brother having sex, ever. Thank you. Now I have this horrible mental image about them. Thanks Cas, I hope you're happy. I've been scarred for life," Dean said accusingly while Castiel laughed at the indignation at Dean's demeanor.

"I'm staying here for about two months. I'll be working for two more weeks, but after that I don't have anything booked. I figured I'd have to quit if I want to study," Castiel told Dean and frowned thoughtfully. "It's not as easy as it sounds, I keep thinking about quitting and then I just book another appointment, and then I feel bad because I kinda want to quit but I really do love my job and I've been doing it for so long I don't know what I'll be if I stop," Castiel finally admitted what he had been thinking for a while now while Dean studied him closely.

"You'll be fine," Dean assured Castiel, who shrugged a bit dismissively.

"Maybe," he said absently. "But that's not important right now. What's important is that you're being a bad brother, you can't stay at Sam's and keep him from expressing his love for Jessica in the ways he wants to," Castiel continued matter of factly and smirked at the face Dean made at him.

"I think Sam thought I'd be moving in with you," Dean admitted sheepisly, rubbing his neck to in order to hide his uncomfortableness. Castiel was a bit taken a back by Dean's words, but since he was the one who had a relationship with Dean it was pretty logical to assume they would start living together. The problem was that Castiel wasn't ready to have Dean living in his home right now.

"I thought about getting my own place. Not that I wouldn't want to live with you, but I figured that maybe for now it would be best if we just, I don't know, maybe if we'd kinda start over? We could try the whole dating thing if you want," Dean suggested and stared at Castiel with pleading eyes, and as much as Castiel wanted to keep his distance he did like Dean's idea.

"I'm still leaving in two months," Castiel reminded Dean in case he had decided to forget it.

"I know, but maybe I can prove to you that I want to be with you and you'll come back to me," Dean replied. Castiel studied Dean closely while he weighted his opinions, he could tell Dean to leave him alone, but on the other hand it would be nica and maybe even benefical to them to try the dating thing. maybe if they were able to work through some of the kinks in their relationship it would give Castiel an idea of what his life with Dena might be, should they choose to pursue it after Castiel's return from Europe.

"We could date. I've never really dated anyone so it would be nice to try it. I don't think what we've had really count as dating, we haven't even gone to the movies or anything," Castiel said slowly, and Dean relaxed at his words. "And I'll help you find a place to live. One of my clients is in real estate so I could ask him if he knows any good places that would be free," Castiel suggested, and though Dean was visibly distraught over the prospect of asking one of Castiel's clients he didn't say anything.

"What's your budjet? Do you have any preferences on a place?" Castiel started questioning Dean exitedly, it had been a while since he had been apartment hunting and he had always enjoyed it.

"I'm still working on that. To be honest the whole thing hasn't exactly left the idea stage yet, but I'll welcome all the help I can get," Dean said and went on to explain about the different costs of the divorce, and for a moment Castiel considered lending Dean his accountant as well.

"All I really want is to sleep on a proper bed for one night," Dean finished with a heavy sigh.

"If Saturday goes well you can stay here for the night. I think we can both fit on my bed," Castiel said after thinking about it for a moment, he might still be a bit mad at Dean, and their relationship was obviously not doing as well as it could have, but Castiel wasn't cruel and the way Dean kept unconsioulsy rubbing his shoulders and neck wasn't something Castiel liked. Dean's eyes lit up with gratitude and he smiled gratefully at Castiel, and when he pulled Castiel into a tight embrace Castiel didn't fight it, he had missed being in Dean's arms too much to do so.

"Thank you," Dean whispered in thick voice, and Castiel got the impression Dean wasn't thanking him just for letting him stay for a night.

A/N : Facts about this chapter

1) My mom taught me how to make pizza rolls a few weeks back, and I've been practicing them. It's not as easy as I thought it would be.