Ello, my lovelies. How yah been? :) Things are rather great here. Hope they are for you as well.

Disclaimer: Last time I checked I'm not that creative... or rich.

Miserable At Best

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight.

(I know he's there and)

You're probably hanging out and making eyes

(While across the room, he stares)

I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor and ask my girl to dance,

she'll say yes.

I love her.

I'm in love with her.

I love her big blue eyes, and golden blonde hair that is always concealed by that whimsical bunny hat that she, for some reason, always has on. I love the way she charges into battle, with that fierce smile on her face. I love the way her cute little tongue pokes out in concentration when we play video games. I love everything about her.

If you asked me to tell you when I first realized I loved her the answer would be, I don't know. I honestly don't. I always knew I liked her, up until recently I just didn't know that I loved her. I think that realization hit when I saw her at the Ball. At his ball. At the ball that he had the nerve to ask her to dance at, even though he knew that I was crazy about her. Of course, she accepted his offer.

Don't get me wrong, Gumball's a pretty cool guy. I just wish that she didn't think that.

Maybe thats why we fought all the time. I tend to go off on the dude a lot. But, can you blame me? The guy's completely clueless, and as dense as can be. I mean for crying out loud, he's got the most perfect girl in the world wrapped around his finger and he doesn't even realize it! He doesn't know how lucky he is, but it might be best that he doesn't. I don't even want to even think of the possibility of him liking her back.

I've been around a thousand years. In those thousand years I've learned many things. I've learned to love, to lose, to move on, and to not trust witches with your heart or they'll give it away, just like they'll give away your most prized possession, but that's another story. I don't even want to discuss her.

Anyway, back to my point. I've been around a long time. A very long time, and I've been through many things during that time. I've been through the Mushroom Wars, my dad's death, my sister Marceline's disappearance, Ashley's betrayal, and my mom eating my fries. So, with that said, you would think that I'd be able to tell a girl how I feel, especially when that girl is nothing but a mere mortal.

But, that's just it. Fionna's not some mere mortal. She's a very powerful, extremely beautiful, kick~ass adventurer. She's my whole world.

When I'm around her I can't help but smile. She brings out my sweet side. She sees behind the pale blue skin and fangs. She sees the real me. She sees Marshall Lee, not Marshall Lee the Vampire King. Sure we fight sometimes, but at the end of the day she's my best friend.

I'm the one she comes to with her problems. I'm the one she spills her feelings to. I'm the one that she gushes over Gumball to. I'm the one she comes to when she feels down. I'm the one that tells her how beautiful she is, when she has doubts. I'm the one that loves her most, if she would just open her eyes and see.

She's at Gumball's tonight. I know she is. I called to invite her over to my place for a movie night. Cake answered to phone. She told me that Fionna was out, and wouldn't be able to come. I asked her where she was, and she said just visiting a friend. I knew what that meant. I knew she was with him. Cake was just trying to spare me the heartache. Sure me and Cake weren't the best of friends, but we got along. She knew I liked Fionna. Apparently I wasn't as subtle as I thought I was. She thinks I should tell Fionna the truth, but I can't.

I hate to admit that I'm afraid. But, honestly I am. I'm scared that if I tell her it will ruin our friendship. I'm afraid that she'll reject me. My worst fear is losing her. Sure, I can survive without her. I've survived a thousand years without her. I could survive a thousand more if I wanted to. But, without her I wouldn't be the same, without her I'd be miserable at best.

Because these words were never easier for me to say, or her to second guess.

But, I guess that I can live without you,

But, without you I'll be miserable at best.