Coffee. They asked me what I wanted and I said coffee. I regret it now, I fidget, shifting my left knee over the other then back again. I was told to stay in this room, to wait 'til my father comes back for me. He told me to sit tight and not to worry.

It's one of those rooms you see in movies where they try to get the suspect to fess up. The single drop light does seem intimidating now that I've been here for a good fifteen minutes. I take my phone out, it's two hours into the last day of the year, I skim through my phonebook, Jeremiah, Kurt, Wes. Jeremiah, would he mind a phone call at this hour?

"Blaine." I snap up to find my father, and a woman at the doorway, they step into the holding room.

"Son, this is Doctor Trish, she needs to ask you a few questions." She looks nothing like a doctor; in fact she looks like they pulled her out of bed to be here.

"Hi Blaine."

"Hi."

"Do you know why we're here?"

"Uh…I'm here to identify two men involved in the killing of Seth Fletcher and the assault of Justin Mason and myself. You're here to make sure I'm okay with it."

"Yes."

"I am." I look up at my father and for the first time in a long time, I see genuine worry in his eyes.

"Can we talk first?" I say to him.

"One more thing, Blaine, you know you don't have to do this if you're not ready. This can wait." She continues.

"I've been ready for a year. I want them where they won't hurt anybody anymore."

"Okay."

She writes on the clipboard she's been hiding behind her all this time and leaves.

My father takes the seat across me.

"Tell me everything."

"Okay. Days after Seth passed, Justin received death threats. It didn't take long before your phone started buzzing with threats too. What happened to you three was not just a school thing or a bullying issue. We decided, Justin's Mom and Me and your mom, to keep you boys safe, to send you as far from New York City as possible. Justin was cleared to go first. The boys involved in your attack, there were five, right? One of them was Sid's brother. They found him dead in his apartment; investigators suggest the gang those seniors were involved in found his actions brash and decided to kill him before the police got to him to name names. The four boys have been on the loose for most of the year, we got really close sometimes, but somehow they'd know and get away. They've been moving from state to state, I get scared, it's like they're looking for you boys, trying to get to you so no one can identify them and put them behind bars or maybe the gang is looking for them too. There have been other attacks, other incidents that they've found to have some connection to yours."

"It wasn't 'til a few weeks ago, when you came home, we got news that they were in the city again, all four of them. Why they decided to return terrified me the most. How could they have known you've come home, why risk getting caught? But when I got the call that two suspects were found, and someone was willing to identify, I had to see for myself. I had to miss out to see you perform because finally after a year, we were at a step closer to having you stay home…for good."

"Is that why nobody was allowed to contact me, not even Gramps, the twins or Aunt Allie?'

"Yes."

"They're here, now, the other two?"

"Yes. They were caught trying to jack a car from one of the neighborhoods. They've been on every watch list since the incident."

Dad held me by the shoulders and led me to another room. As the lights came on, I found myself standing behind a one way mirror but no one's on the other side. Two men step into the room; I recognize them from trips to my father's office.

"When you're ready, they'll stand in line. You don't need to say anything if you don't want to, you can just point if that's easier for you." Dad says.

"What will happen after.. if it is them?"

"We're looking at 20 years for your assault, 20 more for Justin and life imprisonment for Seth. Not counting other offenses." The man next to dad says, he's wearing a trench coat over a sweatpants and a jumper.

"Okay."

My father stands next to me and puts his arm around my shoulder. "Ready?"

"Yes."

The fluorescent lights behind the mirror illuminate a white wall with black painted lines to measure one's height. A door on one end of the room opens and five men walk in, they are asked to stand in line, facing us, facing me.

The first one, I do not recognize, a bald man covered in tattoos, he's wearing a coat that looks new, Kurt would know what brand it is and what cut, but all I see is this man could not have bought that coat and still wear rubber shoes that look as if they'd fall apart any moment.

The second man is badly bruised; his face is starting to swell. He seems drunk, unable to support himself any longer.

The third. The third. That's him. Say something. Say it now. Now. NOW!

"Him! The one in the leather jacket, he held my arms." I could feel beads of sweat trickle down my neck.

I walk closer to the glass. I skip the man next to him because the face of the last one in line hasn't left my nightmares since that night.

"…he kept yelling, FAG, FAG, FAG! He threw punch after punch, kick after kick; my stomach, my ribs, when he got tired, my face. He has two rings on his right hand, it hurt most when he hit me with his right hand. He has a tattoo on his inner left arm that says 'Sarah'."

I open my eyes; I'm leaning on the glass, how long have I been talking? The lights are off behind the mirror and my father spins me and holds my head into his shoulder.

"That's all we need Ben." I feel a shoulder on my back, "Thank you son." Another man says.

"It's over, Blaine. You did it. We did it. No more hiding." My father speaks, we must be alone.

I stay silent on the drive home. I feel tired, my eyes sting from crying, but I can't sleep. The sun has fully risen. I look out the window and I see all these people starting their normal day, living their normal lives, going through normal motions. I well up at the thought of finding some normalcy. I am now one of these people, and I can't be happier. But something's still amiss.

As we cross the bridge my father starts to talk. He says I move back after the semester, we can build cars again, we can move the piano to the drawing room. I can pick Eva up from school and we can go through college applications together. He continues to make plans excitedly and I try to listen.

He parks the car, I step out expecting we've reached home, but I look up to see we're far from it.

"I thought you'd want to grab a bite before home." He says.

The last time I walked around Central Park, I was with Seth and Justin, two maybe three days away from the dance. I never thought to go back and I definitely did not expect my father to want to spend time here.

He leaves me to sit on one of the benches facing the lake. Nobody is skating at this early hour and the ice is sparkling.

"Do we still get corsages even though the girls asked? How does this work exactly?" Seth asks. We look at him incredulously. "Why am I asking you two? Clearly Justin will get one. And I don't even know who asked who between you two."

"I asked." I say, "We're both buying corsages."

"I think you should even though she asked, she'd appreciate the gesture." Justin suggests, taking hold of my hand.

"Fine, but you have to help me, I suck at flower buying." He sighs, "You guys want a pretzel? I'll get us some pretzels."

Seth walks over to one of the stands, while Justin guides me to take a seat on the grass. "We can still ditch if you want." Justin suggests.

"And miss having to see you dressed up, no thanks. Stop fighting me over this, I told you I want to show them we can. I want to show them I'm not scared."

"Alright."

"Hello in there. What are you thinking? Do you want to back out, we can, let's just let the driver drop us off somewhere." Justin whispers, taking my hand.

"I'm good. Just thinking, normally our parents should be forcing us to take a photo together, and we'd be so embarrassed and we'd hate them for it." I sigh.

"Your mom was cool though, and hey," he says as he lifts my chin, "we're together. They could have easily broken us apart the moment they knew, but here we are."

Here we are.

"I got you a bagel, and some hot cocoa," he takes a seat.

"I'm sorry."

"What? What for?"

"All this time, I've hated you; two years of that weight on my chest because things changed. I… I'm sorry. If I took the time to understand things, to look at things differently, I should have known you sent me to Dalton for safety and not as punishment." I say looking down at my bagel.

"You don't need to be sorry. I'm at fault here, son. But I couldn't, I didn't know how to put it all together, with you I refused to reason even though I knew the right thing to do was to tell you everything was okay. Forgive me, for walking away on you when you needed my acceptance. I want you to know I can't take all that wasted time back, but I'm here to make it up to you if you'd let me. You're my son, my only son. And I love you."

I look into his earnest eyes. I've never seen my dad almost in tears; he's trying hard to fight it back.

"Do you think the Buckeyes have a chance next season?"

"If they focus, we have a fighting chance."

We spend a few hours of the cold morning, letting the heat from our hot cocoa warm us up. He shares stories about work and I tell him about my classes and what it's like in Ohio. I talk about Wes and what it was like when I arrived. Every so often he would look sad again, whenever I told him how much I missed home.

"…he was sent to spy on us. And he was very obvious about it. He found Dalton fascinating, a safer place for him since he was bullied too. I guess we gravitated toward each other because of that. Kurt's one of the people that makes Dalton a great place to be in." Talking about the boys and Kurt made me realize how much I miss them, "Can I finish high school in Ohio? I don't want to get held back another year."

"Are you sure that's what you want?" he asks seriously.

"Yeah, those boys are amazing, they're family too. And the Warblers have a chance this year…"

"Then we'll have to find a home near the school, transfer Eva next year and I can always work from there and fly out here whenever they need me, do you think Mom will miss the noise?" He smiles.

Warmth fills my head and my chest all the way down to my toes, the kind of warmth you can't intake. The kind that I felt when I saw him play the piano for the first time, the moment Eva said my name, that time Kurt let me cry onto his shirt and when Justin kissed me.

Dad puts his arm around my shoulder pulling me in for a one arm hug.

"Thanks Dad."

"A call? From you? I get a call from Blaine Anderson on this day?!"

"Happy Birthday Wesley!" I shout to my phone on the bed.

"Am I on speakerphone? What are you doing? I want birthday greetings to be focused one me sir!"

"…just going through stuff to bring back after the break."

"You're staying?"

"Yeah, I have great news that deserves to be shared within the Dalton grounds dear friend."

"You sound good, been having a good vacation?"

"Better than I ever imagined. Alright, you have a good one; I need to make other calls before the year ends."

"See you in a few days! Happy New Year! "

"Happy New Year!"

My bedroom door swings open, Eva peeks in, "Blaine, can I stay with you?" she asks.

"Of course baby girl, what's up?" I lift her to the bed; she looks like she has something important to say, fidgeting the way I do.

"You're leaving again? You can't stay?"

"Only for a little while, then you, mom and dad will come and see me soon. By the end of school you'll be in Ohio too and we'll be together every day."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She jumps to give me a hug and runs out of my room.

I've filled a small box with some books, a few photos from my desk and some trinkets I wasn't able to pack up the first time I left for Dalton. I empty the contents of my bag onto the bed and Justin's journal falls to the floor, some pages come loose again.

I grab the journal, my coat and head downstairs. My parents are in the kitchen laughing, such a sight to see them both smiling.

"Yes dear, have you slept? Are you hungry? Where are you going?" my mother struggles to come out of my dad's embrace.

"Can I visit Seth?" I ask. Suddenly they both turn serious.

"Do you want me to drive you there? Or?" my father asks.

"C-can I drive?"

Dad tosses his car keys to my direction, "Be careful, the streets are salted but don't go speeding. Come back before midnight, we'll watch the countdown together."

I walk out of out front door, it's a windy afternoon, I wrap my scarf around my neck and before I walk a few feet to Seth's front door.

Dad, I'll just walk to the cemetery. –Blaine

The cemetery is covered in thin white, glistening as the afternoon sun illuminates the gravestones. I've only been here once, and I was in a wheelchair.

I reach his resting place to find a wilting pot of wildflowers and dried up candle wax, his parents must have visited. I wipe the ice from the nameplate, I didn't get a good look at the inscription before, I well up again as I read: Seth Fletcher, beloved son, friend and superhero.

Hey man, sorry it took me a while to get back. I never thanked you for trying.

I should have been there for your mom and Mark, I know they really miss you.

I'm sorry… I..I miss you.

"He always knew you'd come back for him." She says.

"You think so?" I ask, tears falling onto my cheeks.

"Yeah, I know so." I turn around to give Tricia a long tight hug. She's holding a basket of wildflowers. I let go to get a better look at her. She seems thinner than last, her red hair is now a clean bob and she's still wearing that necklace he gave her.

"I knew you'd visit. How was King's Island?" she asks wiping my tears.

"It was…wait...the note, that was you?"

"Yeah, I tutor Mark some days. We stay in Seth's room and I saw you and your mom that night." She kneels and sets the basket down, I do too, she hands me a box of matches to light a new candle.

"You visit him often? How are you?" I ask. She wipes the snow off the base of his gravestone and takes a seat.

"As often as I can…" She stops abruptly, looking at my direction like I was see through, she stands up and runs almost tripping on me. I turn around once more to see a lean man wrapping her in his arms, burying his head into her shoulder awkwardly. The long, wavy blonde hair that falls onto Tricia's shoulder, my stomach knots and my breathing increases. I've lived a life knowing the chances of seeing him again were slim. I haven't had the time to even think of looking for him, fearing he's moved on and our encounter would just ruin the both of us.

Justin

Tricia takes his hand. I can't keep my eyes off him, everything moves in slow motion and all of a sudden, he's in front of me taking my face and kissing my forehead. I close my eyes. I feel the warmth of his hands through the fabric of his gloves. He pulls me in and I hear him sniffling. The cold tears start to fall again, he holds my head under his neck and says through his tears, "I thought I'd never see you again."

I let out loud sobs, I can hear Tricia crying too. My knees give out and we're on the wet, dead, icy grass. He continues to cradle me, not saying a word.

"Mom wanted to move back, Arizona wasn't really working out. One morning she got a call asking if I was willing to identify someone, we flew out a few hours after that." Justin says after we've exhausted all the tears and the cold was becoming unbearable. The three of us stand up, Justin takes my hand and Tricia's, "It's never going to be the same without you. It's never going to be the same for any of us, and although time has passed, I want you to know Seth that I will never forget you and what you did for us. You were more than a friend, sometimes you were a brother, a confidant and for me, my father when I needed someone to tell me what to do."

I try to look down, to close my eyes and just listen to him speak from his heart. Instead my eyes are wide open, focusing on his profile, still scared this isn't real.

"I hope you're in a peaceful place. I hope that you can see us now and find that we're here together again for no other reason but for you and I hope you're happy. I miss your smile and your laugh and your fearlessness. I wish somehow I know how to make your dreams come true because the only reason we're still here trying to live ours is because you gave up yours. I'll be around, for Tricia, for Mark and your mom. That's a promise."

He looks at me and smiles, a small one.

"I love you. I still do. I always will love you most, you were my first everything. Even though there's someone else, it will always be you. Graduation is coming up and I forgot to tell you, we're doing something special for you and your mom is going to be there. Everyone in that school changed because of what you did. Brown will be a whole new adventure, and I can only wish you'd be there with me."

She wipes her eyes with her other hand. Justin grips my hand before I speak, "I have nothing else to say but thank you. You were the first to accept me for who I am and the first to fight my battles for me. I can only promise to do the same for someone else, because that's what you taught me. I will always owe my life to you and it took you to get the three of us together to begin with, you will always be the glue that binds us no matter where we go starting today. I identified the men who did this to you, at the back of my head was a voice, you voice, telling me to not be afraid."

Every time I'll be on a stage singing I'll still see that small boy cheering me on in the crowd, you will always be there and I'll take you wherever I go.

"Thank you Seth."

I give Tricia a tight hug, wish her luck on her college adventures and promise to keep in touch. Justin does the same and takes my hand, "Can I take you home?"

"Yes."

His lips, they don't compare to the memories in my head, mine feel swollen as he bites down and breathes on my neck. He moves his hand down my back, to my sides and I try to tune out my thoughts. I hitch a breath as I feel the roughness of his jeans on my leg as he grinds. He takes off his coat, and cups my face, "There isn't a day that goes by when I don't think about you," he whispers gently.

"5…4…3…2…1… Happy New Year!" Eva jumps up and down. My father takes the sparkling champagne from my mother's hand and leans in for a long, loving kiss.

"Blaine!" Eva hops onto the sofa and into my arms. "Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year, baby girl!" I kiss her hair and she leans on my chest. "You're sleepy…"

"No, I'm not!" She protests, blowing a party horn.

"Yes you are my angel, time to get to bed, come here." My mother takes Eva from me, and Eva doesn't complain.

"Happy New Year son!" my dad says, sitting on the couch next to me.

"No office party this year? No rooftop view of the city fireworks? " I ask.

"And miss this?" He motions to me "not a chance. I figured you'd want some peace and quiet to start your year right. What say you we move the piano back down here tomorrow and we sing a few before you have to get back?"

"I'd love that. Eva would love that."

Bzzzzz bzzzzzzzzzzz

I excuse myself as I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket.

"Kurt?"

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

"HEeyyyyy! Happy New Year Kurt! Where are you? What's that noise?"

"It's Nick! He's shouting around the house."

"The guys are at your house?"

"Yeah they sort of invaded the place actually, Burt's a bit concerned about Trent's wild dancing ."

"Awww, wish I could be there with you guys."

"Break's almost over…"

"Yeah..Hey, I have news, good news, no, great news, but I promised Wes I'd talk about it when we get back."

"Ohhhh, Curious, definitely…Oh MY GOD JEFF NOT INSIDE! OUT! OUT! PUT IT OUT! I have to go before they blow my house to smithereens. Happy New Year! See you soon!"

"Bye! See you."

I walk back into the living room to find my parents asleep in each other's arms, I turn the tv off and place a blanket over them to keep them warm.

A new start, that's how it feels tonight as I lie in the room I grew up in.

tbc

Hello hello!

All I can really say is I'm back and I didn't abandon this story. :D Forgive me, for taking too long to update, but...BACK NOW and forever grateful to you for reading and staying with me on this.

-k