Hello Readers! This is my first every lemon fanfic! And I have no idea how this went! Or even if it made any sense! I just wanted to see how my hand was at writing out lemons! Maybe it sucks or maybe it was too much, I don't know, but I hope it was alright. As the title sort of says these are all lemon fanfics from A to Z. It's all IchiRuki too. I've always wanted to do an A to Z thing, so I thought why not lemons? So here is the first chapter! I hope it didn't suck that bad, and I hope you guys enjoy it! So pretty please tell me how with is! I would really like to know how my first lemon went! But please don't be too mean!

Pretty please read and review! Much it appreciated!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

P.S. I'm sorry for my suckish grammar errors and if the characters are occ! But I hope you guys like this anyway!

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Lemony Tarts

Chapter 1: A for Alcohol

"Hey Strawberry, you know you shouldn't be drinking! It's bad for you!"

A very flustered female voice hollered at him over the loud beating techno music. The said Strawberry scowled into his drink before turning around in the swiveling chair he was seated in, to look at the pint sized midget that was standing before him, in all her angry short glory. Her hands laid flat on her small hips as she glared at him with her dark violet pools that she declared were her eyes. Ichigo had always declared that they were just pools of deep pools of dangerous water that could probably kill someone if she looked at them for too long. Her glossed rosy lips were pressed together in a thin line, as if she were contemplating whether to smack the drink right out if his hands or not.

Ichigo and Rukia had come to a very popular bar that Rangiku had just been begging for them to go with her and their friends. The Busty Blonde claimed that they had been working way too hard and they needed to loosen up, as a prodigy surgeon and an extremely gifted lawyer, the two needed a break from the mountains of paper work for Rukia, and the buckets of blood for Ichigo. So here they were at the Hueco Mundo Bar with a hefty group of friends.

"Drinking isn't that bad, it's only bad if you make stupid decisions, Midget." Ichigo scowled at her before taking another sip of the robust concoction that Renji had bought for him, as a payment for fixing the broken arm he got while chasing down a criminal last month.

"Yeah, Rukia, I bet if you had some you'd loosen up more!" A bright red pineapple haired man said as he looked at her from over her boyfriend's shoulder. Renji gave her a wicked grin before yelling over the music to a bartender who was drying some glass cups with a white towel.

"Hey, can my friend here, get a shot of your best vodka?" The bartender took a quick look at the said friend and nodded his head before turning around to the bar. Rukia gaped at Renji before walking behind Ichigo to punch him in the face.

"You idiot! I'm not drinking that! If I drink it, I'll end up as stupid as you!" She huffed, before feeling a hand come down on her shoulder and another pulling her into a hugging head lock. She turned her head around to see that Rangiku had finally made her way back from the dance floor with Momo, looking rundown from hardcore grinding.

"What's all the commotion here? You guys need to have more fun!" Rangiku exclaimed, slamming her hand on Rukia's back. "Rangiku, any more slapping and Rukia's back will be bruised for a week! Remember last time!" Momo laughed trying to get Rangiku to stop her onslaught of back slapping. The last time Rangiku had slapped her back, Rukia had a hand print on her back for a week.

"Here's your drink ma'am, enjoy." The bartender came back and sat the small shot glass filled with clear, strong smelling liquid in front of Rukia, before turning back around to mix drinks for a groups of loud mouth girls that had just come in.

Rukia glared at the tiny shot glass as if it were filled with some sort of incurable disease. Rangiku reached a thin arm in front of Rukia before lifting up the glass to her nose, smelling its contents.

"Hey, isn't this vodka? Rukia doesn't drink! I've tried! She won't drink anything I give her!" Rangiku frowned before sitting the glass back on to the ebony granite bar table.

"Renji's trying to get Rukia to drink." Ichigo told Rangiku shortly, also picking up the glass, eyeing it carefully. Rangiku's eyes lit up like Christmas lights decorating a tree.

"That's great! Drink it, Rukia! You and Ichigo could have like a shot drinking contest to see who can handle their alcohol! I've always wanted to see you get drunk!" Rangiku laughed and before Rukia could protest, she had already waved down the bartender for some more shots.

"Does anyone listen to me around here? I don't drink, damnit!" Rukia complained repeatedly, stomping her heels on the black and white tiled floor, but it was already too late. She was already sitting in a swiveling bar chair, next to Ichigo, the shot glasses all set before her.

"Ichigo, I want to go home!" complained Rukia, but Ichigo just smirked at her before picking up one of the shot glasses, pressing the glass to his lips, taking the liquid down all in one shot.

"Come on, Rukia. It isn't that bad. You might like it. Here, let's make a bet." Ichigo told her with his smooth voice, laced with amusement. The bet part make her ears perk up. Bets? She loved bets. "What kind of bet?" She asked him carefully.

"If you handle this stuff," he gestured to the twenty shot glasses on the table, "then I'll buy you that Chappy blanket you've been having your eyes on." He was right there was a new limited edition Chappy blanket that has recently been on the market, it was a large fluffy blanket with the limited edition Mermaid Chappy printed on it, she had been eyeing it for the whole week. "But, if you can't handle it, then you have to…" he whispered the last thing into her ear hotly, making her face turn as pink as her lips and she fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat when he pulled away.

"That's so dirty!" She yelled at him, kicking him in the shin, only that he turned his chair, missing his shin and hitting the seat instead. He just laughed at her, his face also pink over his tanned skin. After a little of weighing in her options, she ultimately agreed, causing their group of friends to erupt in loud cheers.

Rukia slowly reached over to a shot glass, picking it up just as slowly, and held it in front of her. She sniffed its contents and grimaced, the stuff smelled pungent and horrible. How anyone could drink it, she'd never know. She looked at Ichigo in panic, but he just smirked at her and downed another shot. Rukia took a deep breath, swallowed, and downed the shot all in one go. The liquid went burning down her throat, like a fierce burning fire slowly spreading out to the rest of her body. She broke out into a small coughing fit, making Ichigo set down the shot he had in his hands. His caramel eyes that had previously shown amusement were now filled with worry. He leaned over, taking her small body into his arms, patting her back and rubbing it gingerly.

"Rukia! Are you okay? You don't have to go through this, I'll drop the bet now!" Ichigo told her in a panic, one of the hands had traveled to her head, patting her hair that wasn't in the clip that she had used to put her hair in an artfully messy bun. After a minute of recovering, Rukia stopped coughing and she placed her hand on his hard chest, pushing away from him gently.

"I'm fine, Ichigo. Let's keep going, I want that Chappy blanket." Rukia's pink lips turned upward in the sexy smirk that Ichigo loved. He pulled her away, giving her another shot from the table.

"Come on! Yes we know that's sweet, but drink! Drink!" Rangiku chanted, getting impatient with the two. Momo covered Rangiku's mouth with her small hands and gave Rukia an encouraging smile. Seeing that, Rukia smiled at Momo, and looked back at Ichigo and swallowed another shot, the liquid finally going down in a smooth fire stream down her throat, and she had to admit it. She liked the burning feeling she got as the alcohol spread throughout her body. Then Ichigo took another shot. Then Rukia took another shot.

They went back and forth pretty quickly because before anyone knew it, they were already out of the twenty shots that Rangiku had ordered them. By then, Rukia was feeling dizzy, her entire body numb with the alcohol she had just consumed. She felt hot, like there was a swarm of people suffocating her with their body heat. She felt a thin sheet of sweat covering her forehead and she wiped it away with the back of her hand. She looked down at her hand and grimaced. Even her hand was too hot for her and she couldn't handle it. She looked at Ichigo, who had been having an animated conversation with Renji, about whether or not they needed more shots. Ichigo seemed absolutely fine, a little red in the face, but this fine.

Rukia hiccupped as she stared at Ichigo with half-lidded eyes. She felt strange, a hot feeling was escalating at the pit of her stomach. Yeah, it was getting way too hot for her. Before she knew it herself, she had jumped off her seat and had roughly grabbed Ichigo by the collar of his shirt, pulling him off his chair as he stumbled forward.

"Hey, Rukia! What the hell are you doing?" Ichigo yelled at her, surprised by her actions as she pulled him along, away from the bar. She muttered a quick, "We'll be right back," to the group of friends, not waiting for them to say a single word.

Ichigo had been yelling at Rukia the entire time, before pushing him in to their final destination, the bar's restroom. Rukia shut the door and locked it behind her. "What the hell are you doing, Ruk…!" Ichigo had started his rant about how she shouldn't be pulling him around to an isolated restroom, but was quickly cut off when the woman had took a few quick strides over to him and practically jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and smashing her lips hotly to his.

The kiss was hot and searing against his lips, making his stomach do back flips. He felt bolts of electricity spread quickly through his body, causing the pit of his stomach to catch on fire. But, when he heard her moan into his mouth, he nearly lost it. He needed her. He needed her now. He firmly grabbed her ass, lifting her up more, so that she was pressed directly on his growing manhood, rubbing against her to let her know what she was doing to him.

"Ichigo…" She moaned his name into his mouth, exciting him even more. She continued to mash their lips together in a horny frenzy, he kissed her back with the same amount of force, before slamming her back into a wall, to help keep her up. One of his large hands moved from their place on her firm ass, to travel upward, to grab one of her aching breasts. She gasped loudly and stuck her tongue into his mouth, making their tongues move together in a never ending tango. His hand soon, dipped into the front of her low cut blouse, pushing it all the way down, revealing a crimson, and very lacy bra.

Ichigo pulled away and looked down and then back at Rukia's eyes that were just dripping with sex. "Red?"

"Yes, red."

Ichigo stared at her, his eyes half-lidded. "Sexy." Was all he could muster before dipping his head to her chest, tracing his tongue from the valley of her milky breasts, back up to nibble on her collar bone. She moaned loudly, throwing her head back and wrapping her legs around his waist tighter. "Ah…" She continued to moan as she moved her arms from around Ichigo's neck to intertwine her fingers into his tuft of bright orange hair.

Ichigo moved his tongue from her collar bone back to her breasts. He pushed her bra underneath her breasts, fully revealing her soft breasts that Ichigo loved just as much as her sexy smirk. Her small pink nubs were already pebble hard, before Ichigo even had the chance to take them into his hot mouth. Ichigo bit down on one of her nipples lightly, earning a squeak from his victim. He swirled his tongue around it as his other hand played with her other breast, twisting the pebble.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" Rukia began chanting to herself as her body started getting more and more hot with every passing second. She simply couldn't handle his assault and her hand started to make its way down to the edge of her short skirt and started to travel underneath, but Ichigo caught her darting hand.

"Ichigo! Please!" She whined uncontrollably, biting down on her now bruised cherry lips. Ichigo looked observed her, his eyes traveling up and down her body painfully slow. The problem in his pants was becoming unbearable as it rubbed against her most sacred area, which was now turning in to an even bigger problem. Ichigo pried her legs off of his waist, causing her to whine even more.

Ichigo then smirked at her sexy alluring eyes and his traveled to the front of his pants, rubbing the large noticeable bulge there. Rukia's eyes traveled to his rubbing hand and then she lost it. She practically dropped to her knees and swatted Ichigo's hand away, from what she already owned. She quickly unbuckled his jeans and pulled down the zipper and his jeans half way off, as her hand darted to the bulging fabric, rubbing it frantically and pulled down his boxers, causing his manhood to spring up from its confinements. Before Ichigo could say anything, she took the whole thing into her hot awaiting mouth. She started bobbing her head over the long piece of meat, swirling her tongue around the head, and licking it at the tip as if it was a fucking melting ice cream cone.

Ichigo felt a groan escape his lips as he leaned his back against a cool wall, his hands now on the back of her head, feeling how her head bobbed up and down on his manhood made him even more excited, as if that were even possible. She moaned on his manhood and her hands started wrapping themselves around what her mouth couldn't fit in to her mouth.

"Fuck Rukia…" Was all Ichigo could muster as her movements began to quicken. Then he realized it, "Fuck it," and Ichigo bent down and picked his very frantic and drunk girlfriend from the restroom floor and placed her on the sink counter. She eyed him lazily as he spread her legs open before him. He lifted her skirt up, seeing the wet mark that had stained her matching red lacy panties that covered what he wanted most. Needed might have been the right word to describe his lust filled desire.

One hand started to gingerly rub her inner thigh causing her to squeal, while the other one traveled to her stained panties. He used his long fingers to rub her fun nub, causing her to buck her hips more into his hand. He smirked and dipped his finger into her womanhood through her panties, causing his finger to be covered in a sticky substance.

"Ichigo, please I really need you!" Rukia moaned for him uncontrollably, grinding her hips to the air, trying to get some relief from the aching burning feeling that was just drowning the lower half of her body.

"What, Baby? You need me to do what?" Ichigo asked her huskily, his voice just oozing with sex, teasing her with the sound of his voice.

"I need you!"

"For what?"

"Oh my God, you bastard! I need you to fuck me now! Right now! I need you to fuck my insides out!" She cried out at the pain she was getting from not feeling him inside her. Ichigo smirked and shrugged as he ripped her panties right off of her and waited for no time to pass to plunge himself inside of her.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God, yes!" She screamed, finally getting the relief she needed as he pounded into her quickly. As soon as he pushed himself in, he was already pulling out, and then pushing in again and out again. Ichigo's hot grunt filled Rukia's ears causing her excitement to sky rocket, her head was now swinging wildly everywhere, her fingernails stabbing and scraping at Ichigo's back through his thin shirt.

Then she felt his hand move from her hips to the fun nub that wasn't getting any fun. He started rubbing her and pinching her nub in time with his heated thrusts, sending her over the edge of sanity.

"Ichigo! Ichigo! Ichigo, oh my God! More! Please more!" She was now practically begging him to quicken his onslaught, making it rougher and hurried. "Fuck Rukia! You're crazy!" He groaned, because now he was just stabbing her insides out at this point. He felt himself being enveloped in her hot wetness, her walls becoming tighter and tighter with each thrust. He felt himself tighten too, his entire body was as if someone had dumped gallons of gasoline on him and lit him on fire with a blow torch. It was just too much for him to handle.

"I'm going to come, Ichigo!" She finally screamed, making him sigh with relief in his mind. He didn't know how much longer he would be able to handle this. After a few more thrusts, more rubbing of her nub, and his mouth going down on her breasts, Ichigo finally released his hot seed into her womanhood that was now covering him with her essence. They both panted roughly, as they waited out their climax. Rukia's head fell on Ichigo's chest, beads of sweat now sliding down her face and the rest of her body. She could feel their heartbeats beat together as if they were a race to see whose heart could beat faster.

Ichigo panted heavily, resting his head on top of her own. He pressed his lips to the top of her head and smiled lazily into her hair, taking in the scent of her light vanilla shampoo. She felt that and moved her head to plant a kiss on his neck. She then wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself to him as he lifted her off the now damp sink counter. When Ichigo sat her feet down on the ground, Rukia let go of him and picked up the dead piece of red undergarment from the floor and frowned.

"I liked this one." She said sadly, looking down at it. As if she was contemplating whether to hold a funeral for one of her favorite pieces of undergarment. This wasn't the first time. Or the second. And probably not the thirtieth either. Ichigo frowned too, as he reached over to pull Rukia back into his arms from behind. She wrapped her arms over his own and bent her head down to give one of his arms a light kiss. Then she stomped on his foot with the heel of her high heels.

"Ow! Damnit, Midget! I'm sorry! I'll buy you another one!" He yelled at her, grabbing his foot as he started hopping up and down on one leg. She turned around to face him and placed her hands on her hips.

"Like hell you're going to buy me another one! Why must you always rip one of my undergarments! I swear, if I got a Chappy for every time you ripped something, I'd be a fucking Chappy millionaire you damned bastard!"

She glared at him and started fixing herself up, putting her breasts back into her bra and pulling her top back up and then shimmied her skirt back into its rightful place. Ichigo returned her deadly glare, pulling his jeans and boxers back up and cleaning himself up. Rukia pulled out some paper towels and started cleaning up their little accident on the sink counter. By the time Ichigo went over to her to help, she was already done and was now fixing her hair in the mirror. He frowned into the mirror. He felt guilty for ripping another piece of clothing, especially since he always seemed to rip her favorites. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, tightly.

"I'm sorry, Rukia…" He whispered into the crook of her neck. He didn't see her eyes soften as she attached her arms to his.

"It's fine, Ichigo. We'll go shopping and you can help pick things out." She told him quietly, before adding, "With your credit card, of course." She smiled and she heard him into her shoulder. He lifted his head from her shoulder and planted a kiss on her cheek, seeing that her eyes sparkled as he did so, feeling his chest stomach flutter at the beautiful woman before him.

"Of course, as much as you want. And I'll buy you that Chappy blanket while we're at it, since it looks like you lasted your shots." Her eyes started to glitter, letting him know that she was imaging that blanket. "Hmm, maybe I should get drunk more often." She hummed to herself.

"Maybe. But I also won the bet too." Ichigo told her slyly. She brought a hand to his head, and lightly swatted him on the head.

"You already got the sex in the restroom, you wanted. No more." She told him, refereeing to his side of the bet he had whispered to her earlier.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know. Thank you, you didn't have to." He smiled at her, hugging her tighter. "I know, and that's why you owe me your credit card." He just laughed at her before whispering, "I love you, Midget."

"Hmm I love you too, Strawberry."

They stayed like that for a little bit longer before Ichigo said, "Come on, let's go. Everyone's probably wondering where we are." And with that, he kissed her cheek again before pulling away from her and wrapping his hand around her's. She smiled at him as he led them both to the door of the bathroom, unlocking the door and opening it, just to get a pile of people falling down into a dog pile on the ground.

"What the fuck!" Ichigo yelled angrily, eyeing the said people on the ground. Rangiku, Renji, Momo, as well as a few others, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Shuuhei, Orihime, and their designated driver, Uryuu were all piled up on the ground. Chad was there too, but he had planted himself on the other side of the hallway wall. Their faces all shocked and red.

"Umm… Look, guys! I found my earring! You guys are so great for helping me find it!" Rangiku suddenly exclaimed, getting up from the bottom of the pile, dusting herself off, holding up her hand, clutching it together, as if she were holding something. But they knew. Rukia and Ichigo had already knew that they knew what they were doing in the restroom.

"Your earring my ass! I'm going to kill all of you!" Ichigo yelled, stepping forward, almost stepping on Renji's hand. Everyone scrambled up from the ground and then Ikkaku announced, "Run for it! I don't like needles!" And all of them high-tailed it out of that hallway. Chad stayed where he was, but got up from his lean. He faced Ichigo and mumbled, "I didn't want to hear. But I did." And then he power walked his way out.

Ichigo groaned and face-palmed himself. He was going to murder all of them in their sleep. His face was heated up, and he knew it was red with embarrassment, knowing that they just heard him and Rukia pathetically having sex in a bar restroom. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked to see Rukia, looking at him.

"First, we'll drug them all with tranquilizers, then we'll being their bodies to an abandoned building, kill them with metal bats and drop their bodies into the ocean so fish and sharks can feed on their flesh, agreed?"

"Agreed."

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Ta-dah! My first lemon fic is finally finished! My goodness it was hard to write, but it was so much fun! I hope you guys thought it was alright and hope that you tell me what you think, using that lovely review button at the bottom! So please review! And thanks for reading!