The Talk

"Daddy, I'm leaving!" Videl called out, rushing down the stairs while frantically trying to put her favorite tennis shoes on. She leapt past the last few steps and jogged into the living room. There, her father sat on their massive leather couch, raising an eyebrow at how rushed and scattered Videl seemed to be.

"Going anywhere special, sweetpea?" He asked her suspiciously. Videl cursed under her breath. She was about to head for that Son Gohan's house, because he promised her flying lessons, but, if she were to tell her dad, then he would go berserk at the fact that Videl was going over to a boy's house. But, she didn't exactly want to lie to him, so…

"I'm going to a friend's house to… study…" she said evasively. Hercule's suspicion rose.

"Friend?" he asked. "The only friends you usually go over to are your two blonde friends-"

"Erasa and Sharpner." She interjected.

"Right, Eraser and Sharpner, whatever."

"I'm not going to one of their houses…" Videl stared at Hercule. Hercule stared back at Videl.

"Well…"

"I'm going to my friend Gohan's house."

"Odd name for a girl…" Hercule muttered suspiciously.

"While he is a nerd, he is most definitely not a girl! Gohan and I are just going to study, daddy."

"You're going…over to…a boy's house?" he asked quietly.

"Daddy…calm down, before you-"

"I FORBID IT! I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE REALLY UP TO!"

"What? No! Daddy! What are you talking about! We're only friends! Nothing else!"

"Sure…"

"…"

"…"

"Dad!"

"Videl…there comes a time in every girl's life, when she gets…uh, feelings…" he blurted out nervously. Videl stared at him, wide-eyed.

"Daddy, considering how you're a guy, this is making me feel very uncomfortable in multiple ways."

"Videl, daddy just wants to make sure his little girl stays safe around mean old ugly boys who might want to take advantage of you."

"If that was the case, Sharpner would have been shot in the face a long time ago."

"…anyways…" he continued on, awkwardly, "Videl, I don't think I've ever spoken to you about the birds and the bees."

"Oh God, no…"

"Now, when 2 people—"

"I think I'll be leaving…"

"Videl, sweetpea, this is important!"

"Daddy, I already know enough about this stuff." Videl muttered, bluntly.

"…You WHAT?"

"NO, WAIT, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up defensively.

"Then what did you mean?" he asked, distrustfully. Videl opened her mouth to speak, but Hercule cut her off. "Wait, don't answer that!"

"Daddy! I already told you I haven't…done that…"

"Who is this Son Gohan boy you were talking about?" Videl sighed.

"Daddy, is this really necessary?"

"It is ABSOLUTELY necessary! Now, who is he?"

"He's this nerd boy that just started going to our school. Apparently he passed the entrance exams with flying colors. I swear, daddy, you have nothing to worry about when it comes to him. He's too shy to try and do something like that."

"It's always the quiet ones…"

"DADDY!"

"What?"

Videl sighed, sitting down and burying her head in her hands.

"Daddy, I don't like Gohan, he doesn't like me. We are just going to… study. That's all."

"I think I should come with you."

And after much arguing on both ends, Hercule finally overruled his daughter, and got, with some difficulty, into her jetcopter.

"Perfect!" he exclaimed, rubbing his hands together in a satisfactory manner, after the jetcopter made its ascent into the air. "Now I can tell you more about the birds and the bees without you running away, and beat up this Gokan kid. BWAHAHAHAHA!"

"Gohan, daddy, Gohan. And no, you won't beat him up!"

"Hmph."

"And you will NOT talk to me about…that…"

"So, Videl, when two people love each other very much, and are married…" Videl gripped the steering wheel tightly and looked straight ahead, flying, and smirked. She knew that she would have to sit there and listen to him talk, so she might as well freak him out and entertain herself…

"But daddy, what if I love someone like that before marriage."

Hercule froze.

"W-What did you say, sweetpea?..."

"What if I get those 'feelings' before I married someone?" Mr. Satan broke out into a nervous sweat, and yelled the first thing that came to mind.

"THEN YOU STAY AWAY FROM THAT ASSHOLE, HE'S JUST LOOKING FOR SEX!"

Videl stifled a laugh, and trained her eyes on the sky in front of her.

"But…" she giggled, trying to make her act more believable. "What if I approve of that?"

"VIDEL SATAN, ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR? BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, THEN I WILL RIP HIM LIMB FROM—er, I mean, I will have a stern chat with him, because you should wait for marriage for those kinds of things." Videl looked over at her father, eyebrows raised.

"Uh, heh, eyes on the road, sweetpea…" he murmured, looking out the window. His daughter was giving him a heart attack, talking about 'feelings' and such! There was no way any daughter of his was going to be taken advantage of by a boy that he didn't approve of. He huffed, and decided that he would take his sweet time tormenting the scrawny kid that Videl was going to study with.

Videl, still steering the jetcopter, sighed. The trip to Gohan's house all the way out in 439 East District was a few hours, and she most definitely DID NOT want to have to sit here awkwardly trapped in a jetcopter with her overprotective father trying to give her 'the talk'.

She stayed silent.

He stayed silent.

It went on that way for about 30 minutes.

She kept quiet.

He kept quiet.

And so it stayed for another 30 minutes, until Hercule broke the silence.

"So, uh, sweetpea," he coughed, "How's school?"

"Fine."

Soon, Hercule, giving up at his attempt of giving his daughter the talk, fell asleep.

After a few hours of flying, Videl and Hercule finally reached Gohan's small home, and Videl landed her jetcopter a little ways away from his house. She reached over and shook her father awake. He awoke with a start, and hit his hard head on the top of her jetcopter. Videl stifled a laugh.

"Daddy, we're here. Although I'm still not sure why you're here." He sighed, and rubbed his head. As they sat there in uncomfortable silence, a small orange blur shot past and infront of Videl's jetcopter. Once it stopped, Videl smiled slightly seeing how it was Gohan's adorable little brother, Goten.

"Videl! I know you said he was scrawny, but, really?"

"DADDY! That's Gohan's LITTLE BROTHER!"

"Oh…" Goten, not hearing the conversation going on inside the jetcopter, ran around to the side and banged on Videl's door. She opened it and laughed, stepping down.

"Hey kid!" He latched onto her leg.

"Who's the big scary man, Miss Videl?" Videl held in a laugh while Hercule narrowed his eyes, offended. He tried calming down, and laughed a big, arrogant laugh. He got out of the jetcopter with a bit of difficulty, and walked around to where Goten and Videl stood. He stuck his chest out proudly, and laughed loudly.

"WELL, LITTLE BOY, I AM THE WORLD SAVIOR, MR. SATAN!" Goten stood in front of Videl and looked up at Hercule.

"Really? Because my mommy and my brother say that most of our friends could beat you with one hand tied behind our backs!" Hercule and Videl looked wide-eyed at the little boy.

"Gohan said that?" Videl asked incredulously. Hercule, embarrassed by the little boy, huffed. They stood there, Goten laughing happily until Son Gohan walked outside and greeted Videl.

"Hey Videl! You ready for your flying—" he looked at Hercule and closed his mouth instantly, getting the message that he probably shouldn't mention anything of the sort around Hercule without being accused of being a trickster. Instead, Gohan just smiled brightly at Videl, who returned it, a bit wearily. He looked down at Goten, and knelt down.

"Goten, why don't you go inside and help mom around the house?" Goten ran off to do as his big brother asked, and Gohan stood back up. "Hey Mr. Satan!" Hercule walked up to Gohan and examined him suspiciously.

"Who are you and what are your intentions as far as my sweet Videl, huh?" he asked heatedly. Gohan fell over in shock, and Videl looked on, embarrassed. She couldn't believe her father was doing this! She pulled him over to the side and whispered angrily at him,

"Is this your idea of getting back at me for not being able to give me "The Talk"?" she asked, angrily. Hercule sighed.

"Videl, it is time I talked to you about the birds and the bees!"

"Alright, fine!" she cried out, exasperated. Videl paused, before speaking.

"What exactly do you want to know about it?" she asked, smirking. Seeing as how her father was speechless, she walked off laughing to herself, leaving a dumbstruck Hercule standing there, shocked.

Ahh, revenge is sweet.