Dear Fred, May 2, 1999

I've written you every day for the past year. Did you know that? Mum says it's a way of coping. I don't you could cope with something as big as this. I think you just have to move on while you still can. We didn't talk very much because you were so much older than me but even though Mum says you cause too much trouble and didn't get enough OWLs I'm still proud of you. You've done the impossible; you lived life the way it should be. Remember when I was five and you where eight. I couldn't reach the cookies so you build a sling shot to crack the vase. Mum was so mad but dad was so happy; you had made something Muggle. Do you remember that day or is it just important to me? Sometimes I think I just make it important because it's the only memories I have of you. I can't believe you can really lose someone in seconds.

Please don't let me lose you.

I don't think I could live without you. You're always there; in the back of my mind. I carried a picture of you around to every class. When I'd get scared I'd just look at you. One day we were learning about Fireworks; remember when you set them off at school? The teacher had to let me leave the classroom; kids asked and I didn't mind tell them about my big brother. The bravest man I've ever met. Can you see me?

I sometimes think you do. Just last week I woke with my cheek moist as if someone had kissed me. Was that you? I'm almost done with school; can you believe your baby sister is all grown up? I'm the head Chaser and everything. I'm head girl and top in all my classes. I work so hard; but I'd give it up for one more night. One more minute to hear you laugh. I try not to cry; Mum says it's alright but I know you wouldn't like you. When I was little you used to make silly faces to stop me from crying. I try not to but it hurts; I feel like something is missing and then I remember. My big brother.

I didn't get to tell you I loved or that I'd miss you or that I couldn't wait to see you. When I die we'll see each other again; you can teach me all those things a big brother is meant to. We can we have all those conversations about boyfriends and I can steal your jacket. You can try to pull a prank on me then I'll yell. We'll be normal up there.

You are the greatest big brother.

Fred, do you miss me? I mean as much as you miss George? Would you come back if you could? Would you come back if I begged? Do ever think how we would be if the wall hadn't gone out? Can you even imagine it? A girl needs her big brother; I know you're laughing right now demanding that I have five others but there was only one you. So finish up dying; won't you, and hurry home because it's a little dull around here without something exploding.

I love you so much,

Ginny