Me: And here's my first one shot.

Zero: A South Park one shot?

Me: Yeah, I thought I'd give this genre a try.

Rendan: Well, let's not waste time then! Azard doesn't own South Park. South Park and its characters are owned by Matt Stone and Trey Parker. The only thing Azard owns is the plot.

Me: Thanks Rendan. Now read and enjoy.

Why Don't You Remember?

"Why the fuck can't you guys ever remember?" Kenny shouted. The orange parka clad boy had just been resurrected from death yet again and, to his ever present annoyance, his three best friends never seemed to remember it happening.

"Kenny, what are you talking about?" Kyle asked. Kyle was Kenny's Jewish friend. He always wore an orange coat with a green hat. "What don't we remember?"

"When I fucking died yesterday! Again!" Kenny yelled.

"Kenny, calm down, we have no idea what you're talking about," Stan stated, trying to calm his aggravated friend down a bit. Stan was Kenny's second friend and always tried to play the role of 'last sane man'. Stan wore a brown jacket and had a blue hat with a red trim and a big red poof ball on top of the hat. He always tried to diffuse a bad situation before it got any worse. Sadly, it never seemed to work.

"Yeah, Kenny. Seriously, you're acting like a total boner," Cartman said. Then there was Eric Cartman. Cartman could be considered, by far, one of the most evil people on the face of the Earth. He was a fat child who always claimed to be 'big boned' though everyone knew he was just a fat ass. He always wore a red jacket and light blue hat with a yellow trim.

Kenny had heard from Stan and Kyle that Cartman had actually killed one kid's parents, ground them into chili and fed them to the kid. Since then, Kenny had always treaded carefully around Cartman and tried to keep him from getting too pissed. He made the mistake of pushing him too far once and Cartman befriended Cthulhu and nearly killed his friends in retaliation.

Kenny was irked about one major thing. He tended to die quite a bit but, for whatever reason, his friends never remembered him dying. It infuriated the parka wearing boy to no end. In fact, from time to time, it felt as though his friends didn't care enough to remember.

"I am not being a boner! I was pushed out a three story window and skewered by the glass after I hit the ground! Why don't you guys fucking remember!"

"Kenny, maybe you need to take a break. Go home, take a nap or something, and calm down," Stan said.

"Maybe he'd be able to relax if his parents weren't alcoholics and so goddamn poor," Cartman laughed.

"You shut the fuck up fat ass!" Kenny shouted. "You don't know shit!"

"Don't call me fat you poor piece of crap!" Cartman yelled back.

"Leave Kenny alone, fat ass," Kyle said.

"Shut your mouth you fucking Jew!" Cartman retorted.

"Cartman, you pull this shit everyday," Stan began. "Someone will say something and you'll use the smallest thing to piss everyone off!"

"You know what? Screw you guys! I'm going home!" Cartman pointed away and soon waddled in the same direction, obviously heading home... or trying to.

"Your home's the other way, fat ass!" Kenny called.

"I knew that!" Cartman shouted. He stood in front of the other three. "Screw you guys! Home!" The three boys watched Cartman walk away.

"Seriously though, Kenny," Kyle started, "go home and get some rest. Maybe you're just having some bad dreams or something." Kenny growled in frustration but headed home. He walked into his room and looked out the window. Not long after he sat down on his bed, it began to rain.

"Why the fuck don't they remember?" Kenny asked no one in particular. "Am I not important enough to remember? Am I just a recurring joke to them? What the fuck am I? I've died in front of them so many fucking times but they never remember! I've even tried to show them and they still don't remember! What the fuck am I supposed to do?" Kenny placed his hands on his head and stared at his bed. "Maybe... just maybe, I have to show them something so horrible they'll remember, but what? I shot myself in the head and they don't remember. Maybe carve a sick design in my own skin? That could work."

Kenny leapt out of bed, grabbed a knife from the kitchen and started to walk over to Stan's house, hopefully to show him something so horrible he'd be forced to remember it. The pouring rain soaked Kenny's parka in mere seconds, though Kenny ignored it on the slow walk to Stan's house.

When Kenny got to the house, his three friends were all sitting in the living room. Kyle and Cartman were playing Xbox while Stan sat on the floor in a thoughtful position. The window to the house was open, which Kenny was going to use to enter the house until he heard Stan speak.

"Why do we do it?" Stan asked. Kyle and Cartman suddenly stopped playing Xbox and looked at him. "You know what I'm talking about." Kyle acted first and put the controller down before walking over to Stan.

"Stan, we all agreed it was for the best that we keep that a secret," Kyle said.

"I know, but, the whole town is in on this. If it wasn't for Cartman blackmailing the mayor to make that law–"

"I know, dude. I know. But still, you know why we do it."

'Know what?' Kenny thought. 'What the hell are they talking about?'

"I know, it's just... the way Kenny got so mad earlier, it reminded me of something he told me a long time ago," Stan recalled. Kyle gave Stan a confused look.

"What did he say?"

"You remember when you were sick and needed a new kidney?" Kyle nodded his response.

"I remember that. You assholes tricked me into giving Kyle one of my kidneys," Cartman recalled.

"Well, I was grief stricken over the thought that you'd die," Stan continued, ignoring Cartman's comment. "Kenny was there when I was crying and got mad. He said, 'Dude, you never fucking care when I die.' If only he knew."

"Jeez, Stan, quit being such a pussy," Cartman said.

"Shut up, asshole!" Stan shouted.

"Ey! Don't tell me to shut up you fucking pussy!" Cartman shouted back. Kyle ignored Cartman and interrupted Stan's incoming retort.

"So, Stan, you wanted to tell Kenny, didn't you?" Kyle asked. Stan rested his head in his arms.

"Yeah. I did."

"You know why we can't tell him."

'Tell me what?' Kenny thought.

"I know, but, it's starting to get to me," Stan continued.

"Well dude, what are we supposed to tell him? Tell him, 'Hey Kenny we actually remember every time you died.'?" Kenny nearly dropped the knife he was using.

'T-they remember?' Kenny asked himself.

"I don't know, Kyle!" Stan yelled. The one thing Kenny noticed was Stan's tone. It was one of pain and regret.

"Stan, what do you think will happen if we tell him we remember everything?" Kyle asked.

"We talked about this before," Stan began. "We were worried that Kenny'd think he was some kind of monster."

"Fat lot of good that did," Cartman said. Stan and Kyle glared at him. "All I'm saying is he doesn't consider himself normal. Remember when I was using Cthulhu to do my bidding? Kenny challenged Cthulhu saying that only an immortal could kill another immortal."

"Better than the alternative," Stan stated. "When I remembered what Kenny said about us not caring when he died... it hurt. The only reason I'm able to treat it the way I do is because I know that, no matter what, Kenny will be back the next day, the same as always, as if nothing bad happened."

"It's the one thing that's kept the pain from being too great," Kyle added with a small nod in understanding.

"Yeah, but there was that time when he was almost gone forever. I kept going because I kept thinking, believing that he'd be back sooner or later." Kyle smiled.

"And he did come back, after Jesus died... in Iraq."

"I know. Kenny's been our best friend since we were preschoolers. If we told him that we know about all the times he's died, he may think he was some kind of monster. The last thing I want is for Kenny to believe he's any different than us."

"That's why we play stupid, Stan," Kyle said. "We do it so Kenny will never think he's some kind of monster. If Kenny believes he's an immortal, it's better than believing he's a monster or some kind of hell spawn. We do it for Kenny's sake. We'll tell him eventually, but when we're all older and have more experience to deal with something like this." Stan smiled and rose to his feet. Cartman jumped off the couch and joined the other two while Kenny watched from the window.

"For Kenny," Stan said as he placed his hand out to initiate a pledge. Kyle and Cartman added their hands to the pledge.

"For Kenny," they agreed. Outside, Kenny could not believe what he had heard. They had kept the fact they knew how many times he died a secret to keep him from believing he was some kind of monster. Kenny slid from the window and sat down, leaning his back on the house. Kenny looked to the knife in his right hand and almost could not believe what he was about to do.

'They did it all... to keep me from believing I was something unnatural.' Kenny thought. 'To keep me from believing I was a monster, so I can live a normal life.' Kenny slid the hood of his parka off, letting rain hit his wild blond hair. He placed his head in his arms and silently cried, thanking whatever God existed that his friends cared for him in such a way. After a moment, Kenny got up and left to go home. Unfortunately, he slipped on the ground yelling as he ended up with the blade of the knife going through his head. Stan, Kyle and Cartman, hearing the yell, ran to the window to see Kenny on the floor. They rushed outside and turned him over, only to see the knife sticking from his forehead.

"Oh my god," Stan began. "THEY KILLED KENNY!"

"YOU BASTARDS!" Kyle cried to the heavens. Up on a cloud, God was watching over the kingdom of heaven when he heard the Jewish boy's cry.

"What did I do?" He asked before going back to whatever it was he was doing.

The next morning, Kenny woke up in his old room, staring at the ceiling same as always. He smiled slightly at remembering what he'd heard last night. Kenny adjusted himself to sit upright in his bed and looked out the window at the sunny day outside.

"If it weren't for my friends," Kenny mused, "maybe I really wouldn't have a reason to come back." Kenny watched as a small bird perched on his window and looked inside before flying off. "Just watch you guys... I'll show you all that your efforts weren't wasted. I'm nothing more than Kenny McCormick." With that said, he rushed out of his house to meet his friends, just like any other day.

Me: And that's it.

Erin: That's so sweet!

Me: If you say so.

Rendan: It's really nice.

Me: Well, that'll do it for me. Be good and be safe everyone! I'm outta here!