Hey Faberry fans, welcome to a new season of Take Me As I Am! For anyone joining us who hasn't read the first two seasons of my Faberry epic, all you really need to know is that reading this story is a lot like just watching the show with Faberry as canon...but it's not a straight re-telling of the episodes, I just like to incorporate stuff from the show as much as possible into my Faberry-centered world. Some chaps will be rated M, but they will all be appropriately labeled. Buckle up and enjoy the ride, kids!

-JW

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Take Me As I Am

Season 3

Chapter 1: The Pink Punk Project

By JewWitch

…...

When Rachel and Kurt came home from Summerstock at the end of August, their planners had been completely filled out through age 40; with tabs for career, family and geographical trajectories (relocation to New York of course, followed by legal marriage to their respective high school sweethearts; then for Rachel, 2 kids, a brownstone on West End and a rich career on the stage followed by a tasteful HBO miniseries; for Kurt, one perfect child, a killer loft in Soho, and a starring role in the first all-male Broadway revival of Jesus Christ Superstar).

To put it mildly, they were excited. For next year, for the beginning of what felt like the journey they'd been patiently waiting for all their lives; for a newer and bigger world. They weren't worried about school or their senior year at all. Obviously, it was going to be magical. They had color-tabbed planners to make sure of that.

"Who's picking you up? Quinn or your dads?" Kurt asked as they traipsed off the plane with their perfectly matched Vera Bradley carry-ons.

"Dads. Quinn said she was busy but she'll call me tonight. What about you, Velma? Will Mr. Tall Drink of Water be waiting at the security checkpoint with flowers and chocolates?"

"Okay, first of all, you are so Velma. Hello, Catherine Zeta-Jones? You'll be played by Rachel Berry. Oh, you approve? Good, then I will obviously be Renée Zellweger."

"Meow," Rolled her eyes with a smirk. "Yes dear, you can be Roxy. Evading much?"

"I am not evading," Kurt smirked back, his fair cheeks warming with an obvious blush. Rachel turned to follow Kurt's gaze, seeing Blaine leaning up against a wall just past the checkpoint with a single red rose in his hands, beaming straight at Kurt. Rachel felt a slight pang at the sight, wishing Quinn were there to give her the same I-missed-you-so-much look of soppy adoration; but she quickly shook it off, reminding herself that Kurt was her best friend and she wanted his boyfriend to treat him well. And she'd get her own soppy reunion soon enough, in private where she wouldn't have to monitor herself for inappropriate public displays.

"Hey you," Blaine said when the two travelers crossed through the checkpoint and met him on the other side. Kurt just beamed shyly, not saying a word, and Blaine leaned in and gave him a soft peck on the lips, grabbing the shorter boy's carry-on bag and hoisting it over his own shoulder.

"Well hello, sailor," Kurt sighed happily, reaching out and twining his fingers with Blaine as they walked to the baggage claim.

"Hello, Miss Adelaide," Blaine teased, squeezing Kurt's fingers and blushing right back. Then he glanced past Kurt and added, "Hey Rachel. Welcome back."

"Thank you Blaine, it's lovely to see you as well. Did you have a good summer?" The three teens chatted amicably as they made their way down to the baggage check, where Rachel's dads were waiting with hugs and kisses for their precious only child. Jacob teared up a little and proclaimed that this was the beginning of the end, his little girl was all grown up now and soon she'd be leaving them for good; his husband tried not to roll his eyes too obviously as he said "Okay, Tevya," and patted him consolingly on the back.

Rachel texted Quinn I'm home! as soon as they got in the car, and was mildly irked when they pulled into their driveway 40 minutes later and the blonde girl still hadn't responded. Don't be so high maintenance, she's probably just at the gym with Santana, Rachel told herself firmly, confident that Quinn would call soon.

Finally, Rachel got a text from Quinn as she was finishing dinner with her dads, that just said wanna come over?The little diva was starting to feel slightly miffed at her girlfriend's underwhelming response to her homecoming after being apart all summer, but again she decided to reserve judgement and just go over to Quinn's. Once she got there, and she was in her angel's arms again, she knew she'd feel the emotion and connection she'd been missing all summer. She gave her dads a kiss and hopped in her new (well, not new new, but new to her) car and headed to the Fabrays' with all the windows down, singing along absentmindedly to Adele in the warm evening air.

When the front door opened and the former blonde cheerleader stood in front of her, Rachel was temporarily stunned into silence. She just stood there with her mouth hanging open, her big brown eyes growing wider by the second as she stared at the pink-haired stranger in front of her. It wasn't just that Quinn had dyed her hair; it was like she'd had an angry punk makeover, complete with grungy, ripped black clothes, chunk silver chains around her wrists and neck, heavy-handed dark eyeliner, and a nose ring.

But it was more than just her clothes and hair; the girl inside them looked different, too. There was something in her eyes, something Rachel couldn't quite put her finger on; but it made the dark-haired starlet feel slightly sick and heavy in the pit of her stomach. Her sweet angel, her Quinn, just looked so sad; and somehow far away, like she'd withdrawn into the shell she'd crafted and locked the doors behind her.

The dark-haired starlet wanted to throw her arms around her baby and hug her and kiss her until the warmth came back into her eyes; but instead she just said, "Please tell me that's a fake nose ring, and you haven't actually started poking holes in your face while I was gone." Quinn just smirked cooly, cocking an eyebrow as she leaned against the doorway to allow Rachel passage into the house.

"You wanted to cut your nose off. This is some pretty modest bod mod by comparison, don't you think?"

"Bod mod?" Rachel asked in alarm, keeping her eyes locked on Quinn as the pink-haired girl closed the door behind her and smiled in apparent amusement at her totally thunderstruck expression. "Quinn, what...what happened to you? Why didn't you tell me? Are you all right?"

"Why, because I don't look like the perfect little Catholic schoolgirl anymore, something has to be wrong? You're not gonna have a very good time in New York if you're this uptight, Rach," Quinn shrugged, turning and padding up the stairs to her room with her confused girlfriend hot on her trail.

"No, something doesn't have to be wrong," Rachel said slowly, closing Quinn's bedroom door behind her and trying not to goggle any harder when her girlfriend sat beside the open window and lit a cigarette. "But you don't seem at all like yourself right now, and I'm just trying to understand." It took all of Rachel's discipline not to march across the room and yank the cigarette from her girlfriend's lips.

"Yeah, that makes two of us," Quinn snorted sardonically. Rachel raised both eyebrows anxiously. Quinn sighed and shook her head, staring out the window as she tapped her ashes into the night sky. "Look, Rach, I know you mean well, but how can you really know whether I seem like myself? I don't even know. I've been playing a part my whole life, of the perfect Catholic schoolgirl my father wanted...even after Beth, and us, and everything. I was still trying to be that person, and I never even knew if it was really me. And now he's gone, and I don't have to pretend anymore...and you know what? It feels amazing. I can do whatever I want, be whoever I want. I'm sorry if that's not in your 50-year life plan, but I really need to figure some things out for myself right now, okay?"

"Okay," Rachel nodded slowly, feeling a little like crying though she wasn't sure why. "But, I mean...you still want me, right?" Quinn cocked her head to the side and smiled a little sadly, and Rachel saw the first flash of the sweet girl she loved shining through.

"Yeah, baby. I said I need to figure myself out, not you. Can you stick around while I do that?" Quinn looked up at Rachel then, with that same sadness and vulnerability etched across her features, making her look a little like a grungy lost puppy. Rachel's heart gave another sharp pang.

"Of course I can do that," the dark-haired girl agreed warmly, crossing the room to curl up in her girlfriend's lap, cupping a hand to her cheek and giving her a soft, tender kiss. Her breath tasted like smoke, sharp and sweet. "I missed you, Quinn."

"I missed you too, starlight," Quinn murmured huskily against Rachel's lips, kissing her a little roughly and nudging her back against the bed. Rachel went willingly, her hands sweeping through her girlfriend's tousled pink hair, which felt rougher and drier than the silky blonde locks Rachel had always loved. But that was okay. Quinn was still Quinn, her hands and lips on Rachel's skin as they undressed each other were as gentle and loving as ever. If she was a little lost right now, and needed to find her own way, Rachel would keep a candle in the window for as long as it took for her baby to find her way home.

…...

The first day of school came quickly, and Rachel tried not to let her disappointment show too much when Quinn said she wouldn't be picking her up in the mornings anymore now that they both had their own cars. When she saw Kurt in his back-to-school best in the parking lot, and they were both immediately accosted by Jacob Ben-Israel and his microphone like paparazzi on the press line, her spirits were lifted and her mind stayed focused on her own immediate plans for the rest of the day. They visited the guidance counselor's office for information about performing arts colleges at lunch, and when they discovered a local mixer for prospective Julliard students, they spent their free period that afternoon perfecting a jazzy Wizard of Oz duet in the auditorium. It was only when they got to glee rehearsal that Rachel realized Quinn was nowhere in sight.

"Has anyone seen Quinn?" Mr. Schue asked as they all settled into their seats, as if reading Rachel's mind.

"Yeah, we saw her in desperate need of a bar of soap and a bottle of peroxide under the bleachers," Santana rolled her eyes, while Brittany nodded sadly in agreement. "She was smoking with the Skanks. We tried to slap some sense into her, but it was a no-go. What the fuck did you do to her over the summer, Thumbelina?"

"Language, Santana," Mr. Schue warned, but he looked to Rachel with equal concern in his eyes, along with the rest of the club.

"I didn't do anything," Rachel said indignantly. "I wasn't even here. Quinn's just going through a rough time right now, and she's still processing her feelings about her father's untimely death. What she needs right now is for her friends to show her that we love and accept her while she finds her own way. I'm sure we can all understand that, can't we?"

"So you're seriously okay with her dropping out of glee?" Santana asked skeptically, raising one eyebrow as she sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Quinn is not dropping out of glee," Rachel shook her head stubbornly. "I'm sure she's just mistaken our rehearsal time. I'll go find her right now."

"Rachel, we actually kind of need you in here for right now..." Mr. Schue trailed off ineffectually as the tiny diva jumped up from her chair and strode purposefully from the room.

She found Quinn right where Santana had said, under the bleachers, smoking again with a group of equally angry-looking girls whom Rachel had never addressed directly. All of them turned to stare with undisguised hostility when the tiny brunette approached.

"Hi Quinn," Rachel smiled tentatively, sensing that her girlfriend would not appreciate being called honey or baby or sunshine in front of her gruff new friends. It gave the dark-haired girl another sharp pang to hold in her usual displays of affection for the girl she loved; but she was on a mission right now, and she wasn't going to be derailed by any personal concerns. "So, um...it's time for glee rehearsal. Are you coming?"

"Your friend stinks of soap, Quinn," one girl in a leather S&M motorcycle cap snarled.

"I'll give you ten bucks if you let me beat her up," another equally leather-clad girl smirked dangerously, leaning up against a metal column beside Quinn with a teasing, predatory look in her eye that was almost flirty.

Rachel nearly lost sight of her mission and told the girl to get the hell away from her baby before Quinn stepped in and said, "Back off, Mac, that's my girlfriend. Touch her and I will end you." It was oddly thrilling (and maybe just a little bit sexy) to see the way the other girls responded to Quinn's threat, all of them looking back at Rachel with undisguised contempt, but also with respect. Clearly, they weren't going to cross Quinn Fabray, and that gave Rachel some peace of mind. Some, but not a lot, because the look Quinn was giving her now was the same distant look she'd had all week, hollow and vacant, like she wasn't really there.

"I didn't forget what time glee rehearsal is, Rachel. I'm not coming back. You said you understood. I have to figure things out on my own right now."

"I didn't think that meant you were quitting glee!" Rachel exclaimed, feeling the tears well up in her eyes thought she tried to stop them, knowing it wouldn't do her any good in this crowd. "The team needs you, Quinn, we're a family. We need your tremulous alto and your Belinda Carlisle glamour. And you need the music, too. You need an outlet for all the painful emotions you're struggling with right now. Don't you see how lost we'll be without you?"

"That's not my problem, Rachel," Quinn said with a sad shake of her head, taking a slow drag on her cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. "I'm sorry it's hard for you to hear that, but I've been thinking about what everyone else needs my whole life. I have to figure out what I need right now, and that's not something you or the glee club can do for me. Please, Rach, just leave me be for once." Rachel closed her eyes, hastily wiping away the tears that streaked down her face, and sniffled softly.

"I...I'll try. But I can't stop wanting you back on stage with me, Quinn. We'd love to have you back in glee...whenever you're ready. Okay?" Quinn nodded, smiling sadly; and Rachel used every ounce of her willpower to turn her back on the pained hazel eyes she loved, and walk back to glee rehearsal alone.

She didn't see Quinn sneak into the auditorium, watching them rehearse from the shadows, every afternoon that week.

...to be continued!