Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the delightful prose; the rest belongs to NBC universal and so on.

Away

Olivia's tortured sobs filled the interrogation room, the sound blocked mostly by the thick gray cement. She shuddered against the wall, her hands shakily wiping the tears from her face, and fanning the redness away as best she could. She breathed deeply, calming herself before walking back to her job, and the victim that was definitely having a worse day than her.

She grabbed her jacket and headed for the car, Fin struggling to keep up with her purposeful stride. "You drive," she barked at him before slumping into the passenger seat. Fin looked over at her, "Liv, if you need to talk…we've been working together a long time and I…," but she cut him off with a raised hand. "Don't, Fin…I'll be ok, I just need time." He nodded, turning the key in the ignition and heading out.

Olivia was completely professional throughout the rest of the day, not letting her mind even begin to stray to Elliot. She would deal with that when she got home, in private where she kept all of her true feelings about him. She and Fin conducted the preliminary investigation before calling it a night. She could feel his eyes on her, and looked up slightly annoyed, "what Fin? I told you, I'm fine," she said, her voice trembling slightly. "Liv, you want to get a drink…we can talk about anything…just to get out?", he asked. Shaking her head no, she told him to take the car back to the precinct, and headed toward the subway.

Olivia didn't think she would be able to sit in the car with Fin, and his pity and concern. She felt like the most absurd woman, weeping over a lost lover, only Elliot have never been that to her. He was more than just a source of sexual frustration, and obviously more than a co-worker, she loved him. Quickly shaking her head stepped on the train and fell heavily into the nearest seat. The entire ride home, she struggled to keep her tears inside, cursing herself for not just taking a cab.

She wondered to herself if anyone could tell that her heart was breaking. She also wondered when she couldn't feel this deep ache in her chest, her wanting and missing him, and her bitterness. Olivia knew that she would be angry with him soon, blame him for leaving the way he blamed her when she went to Oregon. This was different though, this was bigger than both of them. Elliot had his share of infractions and now, things would never be the way they once were.

Olivia almost missed her stop, thinking about him again, and had to hurry through the doors. She walked home quickly, her mind going to the bottle of scotch that had been sitting in her cabinet for months. She hurried through her front door, and threw her black blazer off, toeing off her shoes and grabbing a glass. Olivia didn't drink very much, considering how her mother had died, but she saved the scotch for special occasions and moments when she needed to take the edge off; this was one of those moments.

She knocked back two shots before wandering into her bedroom. Olivia looked around at the space that had never really held much attraction for her, a bed she never used and hardly ever shared. The silence and the emptiness of the apartment like a white noise and it filled her head, drowning out any other sounds or thoughts. Feeling the despair bubble inside of her, she grabbed her things and headed out of the door.

Olivia jumped in a cab this time, giving the only address that she could conceive of. It was a long ride there, but her heart began to beat faster and faster as she neared the house. Olivia had never been a pushover in her life, not with victims, never with perps, and certainly not when it came to Elliot. So, she wondered now why she had let him ignore her calls for months, thinking only about himself.

She made her way to Elliot's house, texting him simply that she was outside and that she would be there until he came out and talked to her. She could see the soft glow of the tv through the living room window. It was late, but she figured he would have trouble sleeping now, and would be wide awake. She saw the shadow of a body moving around, her pulse quickening, thudding painfully in her chest.

Olivia waited, almost afraid to breathe as he opened the door and stepped outside. She hadn't really known what to expect, but he was still Elliot Stabler. She watched as he made his way down the steps, his expression solemn and a little scared. She stepped toward him, her hands hanging loosely at her side, "somehow I thought I would be out here all night," she said quietly. He looked at her then, "you shouldn't have come Liv, not yet…"She shook her head in disbelief, stepping closer to him, "you wouldn't return my calls, I had to hear you were quitting from Cragen, do you have any idea what you've put me through?" she said loudly this time.

"What I've put you through? What about me, I killed that girl Olivia, I can't go back now…not even for you." She could see his jaw clenching as he stood there, more distant from her than he had ever been.

"So this is it, you're just leaving…and if I hadn't come by here, what? You would have just never seen me again? I thought I meant more to you than this…" She was crying now, there was no way she could control it. Olivia was a little afraid that she was creating a scene in front of his house, a spurned lover coming to beg him to leave his wife, they would think.

Elliot moved toward her then, pulling her into his arms and he held her while she cried, placing kisses against her hair. "I'm so sorry, Liv…I just can't do it any more", he said, tightening his arms around her when she cried harder at his words. She tried to pull away but he held her close, "you mean so much to me, I just need time, I may be leaving SVU but we can still be in each other's lives."

Olivia lifted her head from where she'd been crying against his neck and she looked at him, her mind screaming at her to stop. She couldn't control herself, and before she knew it, her fingers were wound through his hair and her lips were pressed against his.

She felt his hand circle her waist and pull her tighter into him, the kiss deepening. The gravity of their actions didn't hit until a car ambled by loudly, the driver hooting loudly at the couple embracing on the sidewalk. Olivia pulled away quickly, her face flooding with color. Elliot reached for her, "Liv, wait, "he called out, but she didn't stop walking and he didn't follow her.

Next: Liv makes some changes in her life, but not all of them are for the best.