"You sure about this?" Puck asked Finn, flicking his cigarette down on the blacktop.

Finn nodded. "This is the best choice."

Puck sighed. "Have you talked to Rachel about it at all?"

"All Rachel and I ever talk about are the plans she and Kurt are making for New York. Plans that don't involve me."

"You know she wants you to go."

Finn shrugged. "If she'd wanted me to go, she would have asked me to. She didn't."

"When are you going to tell her about this?" Puck asked, motioning toward the building they were walking towards.

"I'll tell her when the time is right."

"Did you at least talk to your mom about it?"

"I'm 18. I don't have to talk to anyone about it."

Puck nodded, then slapped his friend's shoulder. "No matter what, bro, I'm glad you're doing this with me."

Finn smiled. "I'm glad, too. It's the first idea I've heard that didn't totally suck."

"What, you mean you're not in love with the idea of working for Burt for the rest of your life?"

"Or becoming the next Mr. Schue?"

"Or being a sportscaster?" Puck snickered.

"Why do people think they're helping me with these suggestions?" Finn asked. "Do they really think I won't be able to do anything else?"

"Hey man, I heard someone say you could create video games. That's cool."

"It would be cool," Finn agreed. "If I had any clue how to do it."

"At least people come up with job possibilities for you. I'm always going to be the dude that ends up in prison."

Finn watched his friend, knowing that behind his joking words there was actual pain. "I know you can be something," he told him. "I've got your back."

"Two Lima Losers, breaking away," Puck said, grinning.

"And we'll never look back," Finn told him, reaching the door.

"And you know we're going to look awesome in blue uniforms," Puck said, nodding to the Air Force recruiter that stood up to welcome them.

Finn laughed, shaking the man's hand. He hoped Rachel thought so…but he was afraid she'd be so upset with him she'd never even see him in one.

"Finn!" Rachel cried, running towards him. He caught her, pulling her close for a kiss. She pulled back, smiling. "Hi."

"Hi," he said, smiling back at her. "What are you doing here?" he asked, setting her down.

"I came over to show Kurt something for Regional's. We're going to win this year, Finn, I can feel it!"

"I know, babe," Finn said, still grinning. Rachel just made him happy; she was always so excited about everything.

"Blaine just left," Rachel told him, taking his hand and leading him towards Kurt's room.

"Where are we going?" Finn asked her.

"To talk to Kurt," Rachel said, looking back at him.

"I don't feel like talking to Kurt right now, Rach," Finn said. "I'm sort of tired…practice was rough today."

"Oh," Rachel said, dropping his hand. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm going to go take a shower and lie down for a while, okay?"

"Okay," Rachel said, smiling. She leaned up to kiss him. "I'll stop by before I leave, okay?"

"Yeah," Finn said, turning away. He tried not to be disappointed when she didn't want to spend time with him; he should be used to it by now. Since New York, Kurt and Rachel had become nearly inseparable. At first he'd been happy about it because it meant that Rachel was over more often. Now he realized that he'd rather Rachel be at her house and just talking to him on the phone or something.

He should have mentioned how unhappy he was about their relationship, but he couldn't do it. He knew she was happy and thought everything was fine and he didn't want to mess it up for her. He honestly felt bad for being upset in the first place. He was the one who told her she needed more friends, right? He just wished he felt like he was as important to her as Kurt or New York or even the Glee Club. As it was, he felt like an outsider in his own relationship.

He took a shower and put his head against the shower wall, wondering how he was going to tell his mom what he'd done. The country was at war and he'd just joined the service. She wasn't going to be happy. He and Puck had researched it, though. They'd even talked to Ms. Pillsbury (after swearing her to secrecy) about it. It just seemed like the best option for both of them. Ohio State scouts had been to McKinley to watch them- they were still on a winning streak- but people seemed to think that what they were doing was a fluke; that they weren't good enough.

Finn was sick of feeling like he wasn't good enough. He didn't feel like he was good enough for Rachel, he didn't feel like he was good enough to be the Glee co-captain, didn't feel like he was good enough to be the quarterback…he felt useless. He hated feeling this way, but he heard what people were saying. He didn't have a good voice. He was going to live in Lima forever and work for Burt. He wouldn't make it in New York and would just hold Rachel back. At first he'd thought it was all bullshit, but now…well, Rachel hadn't exactly been begging him to go with her, had she?

At that very moment, Rachel was in Kurt's room crying. "I don't think he loves me anymore," Rachel sobbed. "He just seems so distant. I try to talk to him about New York and he changes the subject."

Kurt rubbed her back. "Rachel, you should just ask him to go."

Rachel shook her head. "I can't," she said. "I don't want to force him into something he doesn't want. What if he went for me and he was miserable?"

"Do you want me to talk to him again?"

"It didn't work the last time, Kurt, it won't work this time." Kurt had tried to talk to Finn about New York but Finn had gotten angry and left the room.

"I just don't understand," she continued. "I'm with him. He has to know I love him; I tell him all of the time. Why would he not want to be with me?" She looked at Kurt helplessly. "Do you think there's someone else?"

"No, Rachel, there isn't anyone else. Finn loves you." Kurt knew he did, he could see it in his brothers eyes every time he saw Rachel. He honestly didn't understand why Finn was acting the way he was; he wasn't even really talking to Kurt anymore.

"He told me he was tired and that he was going to shower and lie down. He didn't even ask me to say bye to him when I left." Rachel's whole body shook with her sobs.

"But you're going to anyway," Kurt said.

Rachel nodded. "I just like being close to him," she said softly, her breath catching.

"Clean yourself up, little Diva, and go talk to your man."

Rachel sat up, nodding. She wiped the tears from her eyes. "You're right. This is silly. I should just go down there and tell him how I feel."

"Yes," Kurt said, nodding. "It's time."

Rachel stood in front of Kurt's mirror for a moment, trying to compose herself. "Do I look okay?" she asked.

"You look fine," Kurt lied. Of course she looked like she'd been crying. "Now get out of here, I'm going to go over to Blaine's to watch One Tree Hill."

Rachel nodded, then kissed Kurt on the forehead. "I love you. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Love you too," Kurt told her. "Good luck."

Rachel smiled and left the room, walking towards Finn's door. He had the basement completely to himself now that they'd built an addition. She knocked lightly on the door as she opened it, shutting it behind her. Walking down the dark steps she saw Finn sprawled out on his bed. "Hey," she said softly when she'd reached the last step.

Finn sat up, looking at her. He could tell she'd been crying. "Hey," he said, getting up and walking to her. Taking her face in his hands he used his thumbs to wipe away tear tracks. "What's wrong baby?"

Rachel shook her head, crying again. "I love you," she told him brokenly.

Finn looked into her eyes and nodded. "I know," he told her. "I love you too."

"Do you?" she asked, putting her hands over his. "Because I can't tell."

"What are you talking about Rach?"

Trying to calm down, Rachel took a couple of deep breaths. "Why don't you ever talk about New York?" she asked him.

Finn made a face, pulling back a little. "Why would I want to talk about New York?" he asked her.

Rachel closed her eyes, biting her lip and nodding. "You don't want to go, do you?" she asked when she could.

"Rachel, look at me," he told her. She opened her eyes and met his. "What are you asking me?"

"Why don't you want to go to New York with me?" she asked. Still crying, she continued, "I thought that when you said you wanted to be with me it meant that you'd want to go, but you've never said anything about it and I didn't want to ask because I didn't want to push you but you're never going to mention it and it's breaking my heart!" Out of breath, she watched him for a reaction.

Finn felt like she'd punched him in the stomach. "You want me to go with you?" he asked her, confused.

Rachel nodded. "Of course I do," she told him. "I love you."

Finn groaned, pulling away from her and sitting on the edge of his bed. "Why didn't you say something, Rach?" he asked her. "Why did you let me think that you didn't care?"

"I never meant for you to think that," she told him, walking over to him. "I've always cared, Finn. Why would you think I didn't?"

He looked up at her. "Everyone's talking about how I'm not good enough for you, for New York, and you didn't think about talking to me about it?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked him. She took his hand. "I always hear people saying that you're too good for me and that you're wasting your time with a girl that wears animal sweaters."

He looked at her. "I love your animal sweaters."

"I know."

He shook his head. "I didn't know people were saying that. That's crazy talk. Everyone knows you're going to go to New York and be on Broadway."

"Everyone knows that you're going to get a football scholarship and move on to great things. They think my "crazy" will hold you back or make you do something you don't want to do."

"Why didn't you tell me what people were saying?"

"Why didn't you tell me what people were saying?"

Finn sighed, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb. "I didn't want to bother you. I figured that you probably thought the way they did."

Rachel nodded. "I thought the same thing," she whispered.

"Since senior year started, all you've done is hang out with Kurt and Blaine and make plans. I feel like we haven't had any time together at all."

Rachel sat on his lap and put her head on his shoulder. "Most of the time when I come over here, it's just to be around you. I make up an excuse to see Kurt, but I just want to see your face."

"Why?" he asked, the question torn from him. How had things gotten so screwed up? Why couldn't they have just shown each other how much they cared? "Why did we get so messed up?"

"The summer was amazing," she told him. "But when we got back to school I started thinking about all of the things I needed to do to get ready for college." She sighed. "You know how I am. I went a little overboard for a while. And when I realized what I'd done…you were already pulling away from me."

"I didn't think you cared," he told her.

"I care," she told him, looking into his eyes. "I'll always care, Finn. You're the most important person in my life."

"God, Rach, I just-" he cut off, breathing deeply. What had he done? He couldn't go to New York with her; he'd signed away four years of his life. He laughed bitterly. If she'd said something yesterday or even this morning, everything would be different. Puck had been right; he should have talked to her.

"What is it?' she asked him.

Should he tell her? What would she say? Would she still want to be with him? "I joined the Air Force today," he said finally, looking into her eyes.

Rachel gasped, all of the air leaving her lungs. "What?"

"Puck and I signed up today. For four years."

Rachel stood up, shaking her head. "No, Finn, you didn't…tell me you didn't."

He stood up. "I'm sorry, Rach. I didn't know…I thought you were leaving without me."

"We're at war, Finn!" Rachel yelled at him.

"I know," he told her, reaching for her. She dodged his hand.

"Why would you do this?" she asked, swaying slightly on her feet. She'd never been so dizzy. Her life was over. He'd signed both of their lives away. "What about me?"

"Rachel," he said miserably, "I didn't think you wanted me."

"So instead of talking to me about it you join the Air Force?" Moving away from him again, she stumbled. Finn rushed to her, grabbing her before she fell. Holding her close to him, he dropped his head to her shoulder.

"I am so sorry," he whispered, crying. "I love you." He held her while she fought him, her fists hitting his chest and then clutching his shirt, holding on as if she'd fly away if she let go.

"No, Finn," she pleaded against his shirt. "You didn't. Tell me you didn't."

Carol came down the steps, stopping at the bottom and looking at them. "What's going on?" she asked the couple, upset. "I could hear you upstairs."

"Mom," Finn said, wiping tears from his face.

Rachel broke away from him, running past Carol and up the steps. Finn tried to go after her, but his mother's hand on his arm stopped him. "Finn," Carol said worriedly, "is Rachel pregnant?"

"What?" Finn asked, confused. Realizing what his mother had asked, he shook his head. "No."

Carol sighed in relief. "What's going on? Why is she so upset?"

Finn rubbed his face with his hands, terrified of what his mother would say when he told her. He was an idiot. "She's mad at me," he told her, hearing the front door slam.

Carol watched her son, dread curling in her stomach. Whatever this was, it wasn't good. "Why?" Finn looked around the room. Carol grabbed his chin and forced him to look into her eyes. "Why is Rachel mad?"

Finn sighed. "I joined the Air Force." Carol made a noise of surprise and sat down hard on the steps, everything going black for a moment.

"No, baby," she said, looking up at her son. He looked so much like his father it hurt her at times. "Tell me you didn't," she said, unintentionally repeating Rachel's words.

"I'm sorry, mom," he told her. "I thought about it and it just seemed like the right thing to do."

Carol shook her head. "We lost your father in a war," she told him, her voice so soft he barely heard her. "What if I lose you, too?"

"You won't lose me," he told her. "I promise."

Carol shook her head, crying. "That's what he said."

"Mom, don't cry, please," Finn begged. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If I could take it back I would."

"But you can't," she said, looking up at him. "You've done this thing and you can't take it back." She stood up, hugging him tightly. "I can't look at you right now," she said, her voice clogged with tears. "I'm going to go to the shop. I'll be back later, okay?"

"Don't be mad, mom," Finn said, tears once again falling down his face. "Please."

"I'm not mad," she told him, walking up the steps. "I'm terrified." When she got to the top step she said, "I love you."

Finn watched her walk through the door, then heard the door shut. Going to his bed, he fell on it, staring up at the ceiling. He'd been so sure of his plan this morning. Now he felt like he'd ruined everyone's life.