Hello there! I'm alive!

I'm so sorry for being so slow.. Life's hectic as always, work is tiring and recently I was down due to exhaustion, but I'm all good now and am back with a new chapter (FINALLY!).

To make up for the long wait, as usual there is a beautiful accompanying art that you can see in the Ao3 version of this story.

This is my early (though late as it is) Christmas and New Year present for all of you, dear readers, who are still with this 8-year-old story! As promised I am not abandoning it and will keep updating, so please bear with me. :')

I'm also glad I could get this out before Allen's birthday this year, so yay!

Now, please enjoy the new chapter and I hope you'll like it! 3

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THE WALK

Chapter 9

-a fanfiction by a1y-puff-

.

.Voice.

It starts with the whispers—always the whispers—after three consecutive days of Lenalee spending lunch time with Lavi.

[Oh, hey, didn't she get dumped? I saw them on Friday.]

[Poor thing… ]

[What, so Kanda dumped her, and now she's going for Lavi instead? Wow.]

[She thinks she's so pretty to hog all the boys to herself, huh? Didn't she also have a date in some ice cream place with Allen before?]

Whispers, whispers. Honestly, it almost felt nostalgic. Wasn't it like this too, before? Before she started hanging out with Kanda and having him glare at anyone trying to badmouth her. So now that Kanda isn't around her, they're starting at it again?

Lenalee wonders if she really isn't that likeable without her little group of friends, and she's starting to question herself if it was really worth it to confess only to get further away from the friends she's always spent her time with.

The whispers follow her even as she leaves the toilet, down the hall leading to the locker, and then there are some rather devious giggles, someone yelling 'watch out!' and—

Someone pulls her just in time to shield her from a flying cupcake.

A. Flying. Cupcake.

Lenalee pulls away from her savior, looks up and—oh. It's Allen. Looking fairly neutral even as he combs the cream out of his hair and proceeds to lick his fingers.

"Mm, this is pretty good," he comments nonchalantly, as he turns to the group of girls who are apparently the culprit and gives them his bright, bright smile. "Don't waste a perfectly good cupcake, okay?"

The girls? Seem to be speechless. Actually the whole hallway is silent—not that there are that many people to begin with, but.

"Whew, you girls sure are nasty," another familiar voice joins in and Lenalee's eyes catch Lavi's form, walking closer from the other end of the hallway. He stops near those girls, eyes them up and down and says, "Y'all are pretty but your actions don't really reflect that. What a shame."

Lavi is smiling, but even those not so familiar with him can feel the chill in his voice. So really, it's not that surprising seeing the girls just turn around and scatter while murmuring among themselves.

"Your hair is pink," Lenalee blurts out and before she can stop herself, her hand comes up to take a few strands of Allen's cream-layered hair. "You'll need to wash this out."

"Ah, well…" Allen chuckles a little nervously—no trace of that confident boy who just told off a bunch of bullies to not waste food. "Yeah, I probably should. I don't think I have spare shirts though…"

"I'll lend you mine, Al, no worries," Lavi steps closer and runs his fingers through the sticky strands of Allen's hair, before doing the same thing as Allen and licking his fingers. "Mm, you're right, this is good. What a waste."

"Thanks, guys," Lenalee says, eyeing both boys and almost wonders if Kanda will show up too—but no, of course not.

Kanda should be in the other end of the building around this time. She kind of hates herself for getting her hopes up at a time like this.

Allen looks at her and that's when she sees something flashing in his eyes. Like—guilt? And—

"Don't you dare feel sorry for me, Al, or I'll kick your ass into the next week."

Allen looks dumbfounded, and next to him Lavi starts snickering and Lenalee can't help it when her lips stretch into a smile.

.

.

.

.Scent.

"What the fuck's up with that shirt?"

Allen's eyebrows twitch even before he turns around to face the source of that familiar voice. Yes, so he should just be glad Lavi keeps spare shirts at school, but really? Sometimes, his fashion choices are a little on the questionable side, as opposed to Allen's simple, basic taste.

So really, he can't blame the incredulousness in Kanda's voice. Who would have thought he'd ever see Allen wearing a bright galaxy shirt? It doesn't help that the most 'sparkly' part of the galaxy shirt was at the front for everyone to see. Not to mention the sleeves were clearly too long on him-and he did try to pull them up but they ended up falling down again anyway.

"It's Lavi's." As if it's not obvious. Allen scoffs lightly as he finishes up gathering his stained shirt from the locker. "It was the only one with long sleeves."

"And? Why did you need to borrow his shirt?"

Closing his locker door, Allen lets out a sigh. He kind of doesn't want to tell Kanda in details because Lenalee would probably not like that, so instead, Allen goes with, "Some girls were messing with food and I got hit with a cupcake."

"A cupcake," Kanda repeats flatly. "Really, now? Is this kindergarten?"

"You know I, at least, would never play with food."

A soft snort escapes Kanda's lips as he takes Allen's right side and starts walking towards the lobby. "I bet you told them off for disrespecting food."

"Something like that." Allen shrugs lightly. "I got some cream in my hair and shirt, so I had to use the shower and borrow this," he tugs at the front of his shirt for emphasis, "from Lavi—"

Allen's words falter when suddenly Kanda gets so close and—wait, what—is that his nose in his hair—?

"Huh. So that's why something felt off. I don't like that shampoo," Kanda comments before he pulls away and continues walking as if he didn't just sniff Allen's hair!

Well, okay, if Allen looks back, gestures like this aren't exactly uncommon between them, but—maybe because they're still at school, in a typically busy hallway after school lets out, so Allen becomes more aware of how—intimate that gesture is.

Kanda doesn't seem to notice, though, so Allen sighs, shakes his head and picks up his pace to catch up with Kanda. "Well I'm sorry. It's not like I had a choice on which shampoo to use," he argues back, just for the sake of having something to say.

He ignores the way his heart beats faster or how warm his cheeks feel. It's not like Kanda would notice.

What he doesn't know, though, is that a few steps behind, from a corner of the corridor, someone notices.

.

.

.

.Happiness.

"Brat. Are you catching a fever?"

Allen stops at the foyer, only now noticing his guardian sitting on the couch in the living room, looking somewhat disheveled and definitely tired. Usually, that means Cross would be staying for at least a few days.

"Huh, no. I feel fine," Allen replies, kicking off his shoes and swapping them with his fluffy slippers instead, because Cross tended to be weird about people wearing shoes inside the house. "When did you get back? I didn't see your car."

"It's getting fixed. I got here about an hour ago." Cross once again looks away from his phone just enough to squint at Allen and asks, "You sure you're not catching a cold or something? Or are you actually blushing? Is something finally going on with Pretty Boy next door?"

"Are you drunk?" Allen cuts his guardian off and credits his warming cheeks to the nonsense Cross is spouting out of nowhere. There is nothing to blush about and definitely nothing going on between him and Kanda. "It's just cold outside."

Cross raises one disbelieving eyebrow but thankfully decides not to pursue it. Instead, he says, "Fine. Hurry up and get changed out of that ugly shirt. Then decide if you want to cook dinner or order takeout."

"Yes, Master," Allen rolls his eyes heavenwards at his bossy father figure and tells himself that no, he definitely wasn't missing this in the absence of Cross.

When he walks by the living room, from behind the couch, Allen's eyes catch sight of what Cross has been so intently looking at his phone screen and those are clearly engagement rings!

"Whoa, are you proposing? When? Is there gonna be a wedding-"

"Hush. I was just casually looking."

"Reeaaally? Aren't you the one with something going on?"

"Brat. Shut up and shoo." Cross waves a dismissive hand and Allen just snorts softly, though he can't help grinning even as he walks towards the stairs leading to his room.

He wonders if Cross is taking a break to plan a proposal, and Allen certainly would love to welcome Anita in the family.

That thought alone distracts Allen from thinking too hard about Kanda sniffing his hair, and that bubbly feeling in his chest? Must be because of the exciting prospect of Cross finally settling down.

.

.

.

.Mask.

After the flying cupcake incident-or so Allen chose to dub it, Lenalee allows herself to finally face her friends, especially Kanda.

She starts small, like no longer trying to hide when they are about to pass each other in the hallway and starts greeting him with a smile. Sure, the whispers would follow, but they would also stop in seconds after a well-aimed glare by Kanda.

She allows Lavi to take her to lunch with Kanda and Allen under the tree the next day. Allen can't hide the relief on his face even if he tries, and she appreciates that. Kanda's is more subtle, but it's still there and it's everything she needs.

"We're still friends?" she asks after lunch, as Kanda purposefully stalls behind when he notices her fidgeting.

Kanda spares her a look, lets out a snort and says, "That's a dumb question."

His voice is gentle, though, and there's a tiny smile forming on his lips, and it's everything she needs.

'I can't be what you need,' she remembers Kanda telling her, and maybe she's starting to see why.

She remembers how easily Kanda leaned down to almost press his face into Allen's hair that day, and seeing that brings back memories of the other instances of their closeness, but she has thought nothing of it-or tried to.

'Maybe if you take a step back and really look at him, you'll understand what he means.'

So she takes a step back. From that day, she stands back and watches. Observes. Notices many little things that she has let escape her eyes, simply because she did not want to see.

After eating with the group again for a few days, she understands.

"I think I know what you meant about me not seeing a lot of things," she tells Lavi one day after school, when most students are hurrying out of the building instead of coming to the library like what Lavi often does.

Lavi stops in his tracks halfway down the corridor, turns to look at her and smiles. "Mm yeah?" He prompts, but when Lenalee doesn't continue, he adds, "And what do you think about it?"

She walks over to the window and turns around to lean back against the cool glass, feeling oddly calm, if a little subdued. "Wonder how I didn't notice earlier."

"I think you did." Lavi comes to stand close beside her, and Lenalee is reminded just how much Lavi towers over her. "You just didn't want to see it."

Lenalee doesn't deny it-didn't she just admit it to herself recently? "You knew," she simply says and gives Lavi a rueful smile.

Lavi responds with a similar smile of his own, but that smile quickly changes when she actually turns to look at him. Like he's putting up some invisible walls and Lenalee almost wants to go back on the question forming on her lips, but-

She asks anyway. "There's something else that's been bothering me... Why did you keep disappearing? I mean, I know you said you were busy, but…"

"But?"

"Is there something else I'm not seeing?"

The smile on Lavi's face? Turns even more unreadable.

.

.

.

.Wish.

"Hey, Al, wanna go get some ice cream with me?"

That familiar voice stops Allen on his way to his locker, and he immediately gets a sense of déjà vu. Slowly, Allen turns his head and finds Lenalee standing just off to the side, leaning against the wall by the lockers as if she's been waiting for him.

Allen tries not to freak out quietly, because the last time Lenalee asked him out after school-well. Then again, the worst has passed, hasn't it? It's not like she could drop another bomb, and he really wants to restore their friendship to the way it was before all this mess-

"Allen?"

"Huh? Yeah, sure!" Allen replies quickly when he realizes he's been silent for a little too long. "Sorry, I was-thinking of something. So. Ice cream. With the others, or?"

"Just us," Lenalee replies and Allen tries not to fidget under her gaze. "If it's okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course. Let's go… wait, let me text Kanda. He gets pissed if I leave without telling him…" he fiddles with his phone to shoot Kanda a quick text, and it is only after he's done and is pocketing his phone back that he notices it. The staring. The way Lenalee looks at him and then throws a somewhat sad smile.

It's honestly a little unsettling, but.

They finally go to the ice cream parlor anyway. Allen trying three new flavors while Lenalee sticks to vanilla and choco chips. They do manage to get rid of the awkwardness along the walk to the parlor by talking about mundane, everyday things but Allen can't shake off the feeling like he's somewhat guilty-or at least partially responsible for Lenalee's heartbreak, but he can't figure out why. It's not like he has anything to do with Kanda rejecting her… right?

The way she would look at him sometimes, though, is just a little unnerving.

"You know, I'm just glad we all still get to be friends," Lenalee suddenly starts, and Allen sits up a little straighter. "I know I was the one who pulled away, but."

Who could blame her, really? Getting rejected after a confession like that. Allen certainly couldn't blame her, and, "You know he's glad too, right? Kanda, I mean," Allen starts with a more genuine, softer smile. "If you kept ignoring him, he'd be bothered."

"He's a big softie inside, isn't he?" Lenalee chuckles softly, then looks right at Allen's eyes and says, "I really wish he would return my feelings."

Now, that? Is not something Allen can say anything to. This is between Lenalee and Kanda, and it's not his place to-

"I always thought maybe I was special, you see. You know how many girls are after him just for his looks, and how cold he is to them, but-he always treats me differently."

"That's because you're different from the other girls," Allen blurts out. "He knows that."

"But it doesn't matter in the end, does it?" Lenalee asks the rhetorical question with a dry smile. She takes a spoonful of ice cream and closes her eyes. "He still rejected me."

Again, Allen doesn't know what to say. Should he say 'sorry'? But for what? It doesn't feel right…

"You know he told me that he couldn't be what I needed. I was wondering what he meant. Lavi said that I might have missed seeing a lot of things, but…" She looks up at Allen again, as if searching his eyes and asks, "What do you think I've been missing?"

Lavi's huge crush on you? Allen wants to say, but knows he can't betray Lavi like that, so he shakes his head instead.

"Then let me ask you another question." She leans forward on the table and Allen fights the urge to scoot back in his seat. "Lavi said… that I was too focused on my feelings for him that I didn't see things clearly, but… how about you, Allen?"

"Wha-"

"You're the closest person to him. Where do you think Kanda's been looking?"

It feels like a loaded question. One that Allen can't possibly hope to answer because what does he even know-

"Or... are you maybe too close that you can't see things clearly either?"

Now that? That's the kind of bomb Allen totally isn't expecting.

.

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-tbc-

...Well, we're definitely getting somewhere? :')

As you could probably tell, we're nearing the climax. I originally planned to only have 10 chapters of these, but clearly that ain't happening, so don't worry, I'm not going to rush things. We have past the halfway mark, though, so do let me know if there's anything else you would like to see? Oobviously other than the conclusions on how things will roll out from here, and maybe I can incorporate those in future chapters or as flashbacks if it fits. :)

Do let me know what you think of this chapter, please! And thank you for everyone who has previously commented. I know it's a long wait and I didn't get to reply to each one of you, but I do read them all and they made my day! Your comments are my motivation to stick to this story and keep going for this long, so please keep them coming, thank you!

P.S. It's that time of the year! Means, it's Yullentide time!

Welcoming Allen's birthday, the fandom has been graced by the formerly Yullen Week event for everyone to celebrate together. Please check out yullen-week on tumblr and participate if you can! :D