Started out as my head!canon for the immediate aftermath of the YCSTB number. Turned into this angsty mess.

Unbeta'd so mistakes are mine, feel free to point them out so i can change them lol.

"Rachel I - " she uttered, immediately chastising herself for doing so. There was just no way. Quinn wasn't that lucky. Rachel wanted her to come back to glee club so they could win nationals. Rachel wanted Quinn to come back to glee club so she could further her own plans - not because she actually cared about Quinn.

"I'm sad not seeing you in the choir room"

Quinn's mind drifted to their earlier confrontation. If Rachel hadn't left when she did, if she had just uttered one more sentence, Quinn would have lost it. She would have dropped the cigarette on the ground and followed the brunette to the ends of the earth. If Rachel had just demanded that Quinn come back to glee - if she had just told Quinn what to do - she would have done it. But Rachel gave her a choice and Rachel gave her time.

"whenever you're ready"

Nobody had ever said that to Quinn before. Her life was a string of orders and demands that she was expected to meet. There wasn't much room to be herself with everyone telling her what to do. When Rachel Berry offered Quinn a choice, when Rachel Berry offered Quinn the chance to be herself - and be accepted as herself, Quinn knew her heart would never belong to anyone else (though she doubted it ever did).

But there was no way the diva actually cared about her.

It was too good to be true.

"Quinn? Is that you?" Rachel asked, looking around the now dark auditorium for the source of the voice she knew all to well. Tremulous Alto didn't even begin to describe it. She thought she heard the same voice utter a quiet, "shit" but she could have been mistaken because Quinn Fabray walked from behind the curtain looking withdrawn, shy, and so tired. Rachel's heart plummeted to her stomach. She had thought for sure Quinn's breaking point happened at Prom, but it was clear the pain in her life was finally sinking in. She wanted to embrace the girl and hold her while she cried. She wanted to wipe away Quinn's tears and tell her everything was going to be okay. But there was no way Quinn would let her do that.

"Umm...yeah. It's me."

"If you're here to destroy this piano, I won't let you," She warned, though she wasn't sure why. She just knew in her heart Quinn wouldn't do it.

"I watched your performance. It was really good. You were phenomenal," Quinn blushed, looking at the ground to hide her expression. She was supposed to be a badass - a Skank. She wasn't supposed to be complimenting people, let alone blushing while doing so.

"Thank you, Quinn. Having people compliment my talent means a lot. It probably doesn't seem like it because I'm so talented and driven, but hearing it is fantastic," Rachel turned to leave. She couldn't stay there with Quinn. It made her head spin. She felt things she shouldn't around the girl. She felt things she was supposed to feel with Finn. She didn't want Quinn to compliment her on her singing (well, she did) she wanted Quinn to come back to glee and sing with her.

Rachel barely made it two steps before she felt a hand gently grab her wrist, "Wait."

Quinn took a deep breath. She had come this far already, what was one more step? She had alienated everyone in her life, what was one more person? She just needed to know. "I'm sorry," she choked out, spinning Rachel around to face her.

"For what?"

"Everything."

And Quinn leaned in and pressed her lips to Rachel's like she'd been dreaming of since freshman year. And Rachel responded instantly to the kiss, tangling her hands in Quinn's short pink hair, ignoring the fact the girl smelled like an ash tray. And Quinn felt her nose tingle and her eyes sting as she started sobbing into the kiss.

And Rachel remembered where she was and ran. She was dating Finn. She loved Finn. Quinn was playing a trick on her - she had to be. It was too good to be true.

And Quinn fell to the ground shaking. The second best moment of her life immediately preceded the second worst moment of her life. How could she possible have thought kissing Rachel was a good idea? There was no way her feelings were requited. It was too good to be true.