Homecoming
Harry slowly climbed up to Gryffindor Tower, wanting nothing more than to sleep. He felt so tired but wasn't sure if he would actually be able to fall asleep.
He knew from his tattered clothes and the bloody spots that they held that he should be experiencing some pain but he felt nothing. His body was just as numb as his mind felt.
He was haunted by the image burned into his brain of the hurt and angry look on Ginny's face when he had shook his head in the Room of Requirement when she looked to him for support about taking part in the battle.
That, after the way she had acted when he had told her he would be leaving her behind as he, Ron and Hermione were leaving to hunt the Horcruxes left little doubt in his mind that Ginny hated him.
Dully he thought to himself, "If that's the price I have to pay for keeping her safe, so be it. It would have killed me if she had gotten hurt or killed herself." There was no reason to win if Ginny would have been killed. He knew if that had happened he wouldn't have had the will to defeat Riddle.
Tiredly he arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady, who just smiled at him and opened up without even asking for the password. Harry nodded slowly, not even thinking about how odd that was.
Luckily Gryffindor Tower hadn't received much damage in the battle, a few broken windows seemed to be the extent, at least in the Common Room.
Slowly, his legs feeling like lead, he climbed the stairs up to the dorm rooms, as he opened the door to what would have been his room if he and Ron had returned to school, he was surprised to see his bed, as if he had never left.
So tired was he all he could do was kick off his trainers, take off his glasses and tumble onto the bed. He was so filthy that he didn't want to soil the sheets by getting in.
Pulling the curtains shut tightly he lay there staring at the ceiling. Images of the Battle kept flashing through his brain but they were interspersed with the image of Ginny and the look she had given him.
If one picture was worth a thousand words then the look Ginny had given him was worth ten, no one hundred times that. His heart had frozen when her glare had struck him as sure as any spell, hex or charm.
Harry desperately pushed that though deep down inside, not wanting to see the look that had ripped his heart out of his chest. The chest that should have been hurting him deeply like it had after he survived the killing curse once more. When it had struck, it had felt like a sledgehammer striking him.
With an odd sense of detachment Harry, tried to feel anything, but there was nothing there except an odd hollow feeling. It was as if he had given his all and now there was nothing left inside.
His whole magical life had been tied up with defeating Tom Riddle who had fancied himself a Lord, inventing his name, Lord Voldemort, when in fact he was nothing but a bitter, hateful half-blood who had caused more death and destruction than anyone in at least a couple of centuries.
Now that he had accomplished that he didn't know what he was supposed to do. Back when he still had Ginny he had secretly hope and dreamed of a future with her but now he didn't know what was left for him.
Harry had no idea how long he had lain there, neither asleep or really awake, his mind hovered in a state of limbo, not wanting to think about anything because if he did, Ginny's image would come back into the forefront, that or the images of the dead and injured laying strewn across the grounds of Hogwarts. Neither appealed to him so it was just easier to not think at all.
Minutes, hours or days later, Harry heard someone enter the room.
"Harry?" Ron called out softly.
Dimly in the recesses of his mind Harry heard him but he had nothing to say, or give any more. He lay very still, hoping that his friend would just leave him alone.
Harry's wish was granted when a short while later he heard Ron leave, moving slowly as if not to disturb him.
Harry let himself fall back into the zombie-like state he had been in before he had been disturbed, letting the emptiness take over, not wishing to feel anything, knowing if he let his emotions out he wouldn't be able to stand it or control them and he wasn't sure he would be able to survive it if he did so.
Some indeterminate time later he heard the door open again. He recognized the sound of Hermione walking over towards his bed. "Harry," she called out softly.
Silently, Harry sighed, he just wished that they'd just leave him alone. Wasn't it obvious that he want be left in peace, if that was what he wanted, though he wasn't quite sure that peace was the right word.
"Harry!" Hermione called out louder.
Deep in his brain Harry thought that in the past he probably would be grinning at her persistence or cursing it. Now he just laid there hoping she'd go away.
"Harry, please," Hermione pleaded, her voice falling to just above a whisper.
"Go away," Harry said flatly.
"Harry. . ." Hermione began again.
"Just go away and leave me alone," Harry said, his voice devoid of emotion.
Harry heard a small sound that might have been a sob but it didn't really reach him. After a few moments he heard Hermione leave and blissful silence enveloped him again, giving himself over the nothingness that had become his world.
XX HP + GW XX
Hermione left Harry's room, she was trying desperately to stifle the sobs that showed just how frightened she truly was. This flat emotionless Harry scared her more than either the moody or angry Harry of the past.
She hurried back down to the Common Room where Ron was waiting, hoping that she'd have more luck in getting through to Harry than he had been.
His face fell when he saw Hermione's reaction to her visit to Harry. If she was this upset, something must have happened.
Immediately his anger began to rise, if Harry had said or done anything to hurt her Ron was going to go right up there and pound some sense into him, best friend or not.
Hermione ran over to him and threw herself into his arms, finally crying fully as her emotions got the better of her.
"What happened?" Ron demanded hotly. "What did he say to you?"
Hermione took a couple of deep breaths, "N-nothing, really. It was just that he was so. . . emotionless, so empty. It's like he's dead inside," she sobbed. "He didn't sound like Harry at all."
Ron felt the blood drain from his face, if Harry was anything it was emotional, either dark and brooding or fiery and angry. Sure he could be calm and detached sometimes but he still showed emotions while doing so. This Harry that Hermione was describing was something totally different than anything before.
So engrossed were they in their conversation they didn't hear the portrait hole open and someone come in.
"What are we going to do about him?" sobbed Hermione.
"I don't know," Ron replied tenderly, holding Hermione close and rubbing her back in small circles.
"About who?" someone said behind them.
Ron and Hermione spun to see who had come in. Standing there, her arms crossed tightly across her chest stood Ginny, a hard steely look in her eyes.
"Harry," said Ron softly. He knew something had happened but not what. He had thought that once Riddle had been defeated that Harry and Ginny would get back together and things would be all right.
"What's he done now?" Ginny asked coldly.
"He, well, he's upstairs and won't come down. He's totally brushed us off and shut us out," Ron said.
"That's what he does," Ginny spat bitterly.
Hermione's eyes flew open in shock. Never would she have expected Ginny to react like that about Harry. "W-what?" she asked.
"I said that's what Harry does. He hurts those who love him, drives them away. He doesn't care about anyone but himself!" Ginny said hotly.
"Ginny!" Hermione said in shock. "I don't think you understand."
"Understand!" shouted Ginny. "I understand better than you think!"
Hermione and Ron just stared at her, unsure of all that had happened to cause Ginny's reaction.
Ginny's eyes darted to the stairway and her look hardened even more than when she had first entered.
"I think it's time someone gave him a little back of what he's been dishing out," she said coldly.
Before either Ron or Hermione could say or do anything Ginny stalked over to the stairs and made her way up to the boys dorm. She opened the door, her eyes taking in the room.
Not seeing Harry, she walk purposefully over to the only bed with its curtains closed. Her face was hardened in a mask of her anger. Taking a deep breath she yanked open the curtains and stared icily at the person laying there.
Such was her anger she didn't take in the state of his clothing or the dried blood that had soaked into the their remains. Ginny grabbed the front of Harry's robes and pulled him sharply from the bed.
Harry fell as Ginny wrenched him out of the bed ending up on his hands and knees at her feet.
"Get up!" she yelled at him as she grabbed his robes again hauling him to his feet.
Harry offered no resistance and let himself be forced to stand before Ginny. "You think you're so special!" Ginny screamed.
Though Harry's eyes were lifeless, Ginny didn't notice, not waiting for him to respond she reared back with her right hand and slapped Harry across the face as hard as she could.
Harry spun with the force of the impact, falling once more to the floor, but Ginny was on him in an instant. Once more hauling him to his feet. "All you do is hurt those that love you!" she yelled, taking her left hand and repeated the slap to his face, this time from the opposite side.
Harry spun with the impact once again, this time his face striking the post of the bed as he fell.
Dimly Ginny heard the crunch as Harry's nose broke as he came in contact with the post.
"Get up!" she screamed.
Harry struggled to his feet, never once offering any resistance to Ginny's onslaught.
Ginny's anger had reached a new peak and the fact that Harry seemed to be ignoring her just inflamed her further. Balling her right hand into a tight fist she hit Harry right in the chest in the exact spot the killing curse from Voldemort had struck.
Harry's unresisting body flew backwards with the force of Ginny's punch. He slammed into the wall, the back of his head striking the wall with a loud crack before he rebounded off and fell once more to the floor, his forehead striking first.
"Damn You!" Ginny screamed, "Get up!"
Harry struggled to his feet, standing once more in front of her. She reared back ready to punch him again but then she saw the blood streaming from a gash on his forehead. It also flowed out of his obviously broken nose and his split lips.
What really struck her was the empty look in his eyes. Gone was the beautiful emerald colour that she loved so much. It was replaced with a wide blackness that held no vestige of the Harry she knew and loved.
Ginny recoiled in horror, sick with herself for hurting Harry so deeply and thoroughly and the damage that she had wrought. She could see his one eye blackening and his face swelling from the force of her blows.
Her eyes widened in shock and she began to cry as she spun away from Harry who just stood there, his blood flowing down and dripping from his face, never once trying to defend himself or stop Ginny from assaulting him.
Ron and Hermione were waiting in the Common Room when Ginny came flying down the stairs, crying hysterically.
"Ginny!" Ron called after his sister as she rushed past them.
Ron's anger burst forth. He was going to make Harry pay for whatever he had done to his sister. He began to storm over to the stairs, Hermione hanging onto his arm desperately trying to keep him from going to attack Harry.
"Leave Off!" he shouted at her. "He did something to Ginny and I'm not going to stand for it."
"Ron, please! You don't know what happened. At least talk to Ginny first!" she said desperately.
Ron finally managed to shrug off Hermione's arm and he took off up the stairs. The Chosen One be damned, he was going to set Harry straight.
XX HP + GW XX
Harry watched Ginny flee dispassionately, figuring that he deserved everything she had said and done. He looked almost clinically at the blood dripping onto the floor, spreading in a small pool.
Harry closed his eyes and was barely conscious of trying to remember some place that he had been happy. Hogwarts had once been such a place before he had to confront Riddle and absorb what he perceived as the much deserved punishment from Ginny.
The only other place he could think of was the one place that he had felt at home. Reaching out with his magic he felt that the wards around Hogwarts were still down. Concentrating with his last reserves of energy he Apparated away.
Ron, with Hermione hard on his heals came storming into the dorm room, ready to confront Harry but to his dismay Harry wasn't to be found. The only place Ron couldn't see was behind Harry's bed. He rushed over and around the bed, ready to pounce on Harry as soon as he saw him but once again, Harry wasn't to be found.
Ron turned around, still seething but bewildered where Harry could be. He saw Hermione standing a few paces away but she was looking down at the floor with a shocked look on her face.
Ron turned his gaze on what Hermione was staring at, her mouth half open and she was turning very pale. Ron felt his anger drain away, all around him on the floor was blood, fresh blood. He staggered slightly and grabbed the bedpost to keep from stumbling.
As his hand grasped the post he felt something wet and sticky coat his hand and he stared at it in shock. His hand was covered in blood and he couldn't fathom on how it had gotten there.
Remembering that Ginny had fled the room crying, Ron's anger began to return. "If he hurt Ginny," Ron began.
"Ginny wasn't bleeding Ron," Hermione said softly. "Look, the blood is only here by the bed, there's no trail to the door."
"What the bloody hell happened here?" Ron said, shaking his head, not figuring out what had happened.
Hermione though had no trouble, she wasn't the brightest witch of her age for nothing. "This is Harry's blood," she stated quietly.
"What?" Ron asked incredulously.
"It has to be Ron," Hermione replied.
"Well where is he then?" Ron asked hotly.
Hermione sighed, "The wards are still down, he must have Apparated away."
She turned away and headed for the door in a hurry.
"Where are you going?" Ron asked as he took off after her.
"I need to find Ginny and find out what happened," Hermione said over her shoulder as she disappeared out the door.
XX HP + GW XX
Ginny ran as hard as she could until she reached the stairs between the second and third floors. Not wanting to go to the Great Hall and have to answer any questions about her current state, she sat down, hugging her knees tight into her chest.
She began to rock back and forth in an effort to calm herself. She was still so sick with herself about what she had done to Harry. The image of his blank hollow eyes staring at her out of his beaten and bloody face haunted her.
How could she have done such a thing? Sure she'd been hurt and angry at Harry for leaving her and trying to make her stay in the Room of Requirement but that was no excuse for the way she had treated him.
Her tears were falling freely, and huge sobs racked her body as she beat herself up mentally just as hard as she had beat Harry physically.
That was where Hermione found her several minutes later as she descended the stairs in search of her friend.
Hermione slowed and approached Ginny cautiously. She sat down next to her, gently taking Ginny into her arms, "What happened Ginny?" she asked softly.
Ginny looked up into Hermione's eyes, her own wide, full of fear and remorse, sobbing deeply she said "Why Hermione? Why did I hurt Harry so?"
"Tell me what happened Ginny," Hermione pressed gently.
"I was so mad at Harry. When I got there I pulled him out of bed. I yelled at him and he just stood there so I hit him and then he got up and I hit him again. He still didn't say anything and I hit him again," Ginny sobbed, growing more and more distraught.
"I was about to hit him again when I noticed how badly I had hurt him Hermione. He was bleeding all over the place and he still just stood there, he would have let me hit him over and over, and his eyes, my god his eyes. It was like he wasn't even there Hermione."
Ginny couldn't continue, her tears taking over and she cried into Hermione's shoulder unable to speak any further.
"Do you know where he went?" Hermione asked softly.
Ginny's head flew up in a panic. "What do you mean?" she asked close to hysteria. "I left him in his room."
Hermione sighed, "He wasn't there when we went up there after you came down. Ron thought Harry had hurt you again and flew into a rage, storming up to the dorm to confront Harry but when we got there he was gone."
Ginny paled, her eyes frozen on Hermione's. "Where could he be?" she asked, her heart feeling like it was being crushed in a vise.
"I don't know," Hermione said despondently. "Usually someone who has been hurt and they run off they go to some place that they feel safe, but here at Hogwarts was that place for Harry."
Ginny's mind went into overdrive, Harry had once told her that the Burrow was the only place outside of Hogwarts that he ever felt at home. In fact because of the family he felt more at home there than anywhere.
Ginny stood up suddenly, her eyes darted to Hermione for a moment, her heart pounding and her breath catching in her throat. Without a word she took one last glance at Hermione before she Apparated away.
XX HP + GW XX
Harry arrived at the Burrow and made his way inside. It was obvious that no one had been there for quite some time, Mrs. Weasley would never have permitted the dust and dirt to accumulate like it obviously had.
Harry looked around, memories flooding him, threatening to break through the walls he had built up around his emotions. How long he stood there staring at the table remembering all the happy times he had enjoyed there, he didn't know.
He felt his stomach rumble and he tried to remember how long it had been since he had eaten anything. He looked around and made his way to the magical ice box in the corner of the kitchen.
He found some hard cheese and a piece of some kind of preserved meat. With the preserving spell that had been cast it look fine to him. Dimly he thought that he had eaten worse at the Dursley's.
Harry cut himself several slices of each and sat down at the table, He had only taken a couple of bites when he felt his stomach rebel at what he was putting in it. It wasn't the food he knew, it was the turmoil that he was in.
He rushed to the sink just in time as he vomited the meagre contents out. Fighting back the bile that threatened to come up too, he staggered out the door, smashing his face into the door frame as he exited, reopening the gash on his forehead. Not even caring when his glasses were ripped from his face.
He headed down to the pond where he and Ginny had spent so many wonderful times together, going more by instinct than anything else due to the fact he could barely see where he was going.
Harry stumbled down and slumped against the tree where he had sat so many times with Ginny's head in his lap. Closing his eyes he tried desperately to push down the memories of Ginny and the wonderful times they had shared.
XX HP + GW XX
Ron was coming down the stairs when he slowed as he saw Hermione comforting Ginny. He came to a halt not wanting to interfere with what was going on. He had learned enough to know that he'd probably just bollocks things up.
The two girls were speaking so lowly he couldn't make out what they were saying. He was about to try to use one of the secret passages around them when Ginny stood up, stared at Hermione and then disappeared.
He ran down to the obviously flustered Hermione. "What happened?" he asked urgently.
Hermione sighed heavily, "I was talking to Ginny about what happened and I told her that Harry had disappeared and she became quite agitated. I told her that people who have been injured like Harry had usually head for the place they felt safest and I said how that Hogwarts had been that place for Harry, she stood up and Disapparated away and I have no idea where she went."
Ron grabbed her hand, "Lets go down to the Great Hall and see if anyone has any brilliant ideas to where they might be."
Ron and Hermione hurried into the Great Hall. Halfway down the Gryffindor table they saw the rest of the family. They were really hard to miss, a sea of red hair in the midst of everyone else.
Hermione quickly explained most of what had happened, leaving out some of the details about how Ginny had basically assaulted Harry, leaving him bloodied and beaten.
Immediately Molly began to fret, standing up and pacing back and forth, trying to get everyone to organize a search of the castle. The rest of the family was trying to out talk all the others creating a huge cacophony of sound.
All but one, George sat staring forlornly at a gold band. It was one of a set he and Fred had made when the business had really taken off. The one he was holding had graced his wrist ever since they had been made. He silently read the inscription "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good – Gred". It's mate read exactly the same except for the name, it of course read Forge.
George looked up at his family who were in a high state of near panic. People were shouting or talking over one another. He shook his head and brought his fingers to his lips, whistling loudly he brought the rest to a stand still.
Softly he said, "He's at the Burrow," before staring back down at the bracelet.
Hermione looked at the faces of the other Weasleys and saw the shocked looks on their faces. From George's simple statement it struck home to her. Of course, the Burrow was where he had finally gotten what he had most desired, a Family and she knew in her heart that he was right.
Bill was the first one on his feet, "Well what are we waiting for!" he cried as he headed for the door.
Hermione rolled her eyes as they all got up to follow Bill. "Hey!" she shouted.
They all stopped and stared at her. "The wards are still down" she said shaking her head, wondering if she was the only one who paid attention to things like that.
"Oh," was all Mr. Weasley said softly. "Well OK then, lets go." With that they all Disapparated away.
XX HP + GW XX
Ginny arrived at the Burrow and hurried inside. The first thing she saw was the plate sitting on the table, noting the meagre amount that had been bitten off the hunk of cheese.
The next thing she noticed was the smell coming from the sink where Harry had lost the little he had eaten. As she stepped further inside she saw Harry's glasses laying on the floor near the door. She also saw the fresh blood on the frame where he had hit his face.
Ginny spun about and saw the trail of blood leading from the house and towards the back garden. She instinctively knew where Harry had headed and she hurried after him.
As she approached the pond she slowed slightly, looking for any sign of Harry. She finally spotted him, slumped in the shadow of the tree where they had spent so many hours.
Not wanting to startle him, Ginny walked slowly towards him and her heart broke with the sight that greeted her. Harry had the remains of his robes wrapped about him. He was staring out across the pond, his eyes still the hollow shells of what they had once been.
Ginny took a deep breath, she knew she had let her anger get control over her actions. She knew she had to somehow overcome that and let Harry know that she didn't blame him for all that had happened. To somehow let him know that she still loved him, no matter what.
Harry didn't move or acknowledge her presence as she came up next to him. She knelt down beside him and took a hard look at him. She saw the fresh blood on his forehead where he had reopened the gash he had received when he had struck the floor.
Gently she reached out and ran her fingertips down his cheek. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.
She was gratified when Harry slowly turned his head towards her, but her heart hurt again when she saw how lifeless his eyes were.
"It's OK, I deserved it and more," he said flatly.
"No you didn't, no one does," Ginny said, her voice beginning to break. She sat down next to him, still touching his cheek. "It doesn't matter how angry I was at you, it doesn't excuse what I did," she added as she felt the tears begin to fill her eyes.
"I'm sorry," Harry said, his voice still devoid of emotion. "I didn't want to hurt you, but I knew I had, but I would have done anything to keep you safe and alive."
"Oh Harry," Ginny cried as her tears began to fall. "I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. I knew you couldn't take me with you no matter how much I wanted you to. It was nothing more than my stubborn pride."
Ginny felt Harry shudder as he tried valiantly to keep the walls he had built around his emotions in place. She saw his eyes close and he took several ragged breaths.
She shifted so she was facing him and she took her hands, cupping his cheeks and turned his face towards hers. Gently stroking his cheeks again she looked deep into his eyes as they came open. Her heart leapt when she saw a tinge of green returning.
Ginny slowly leaned in, watching closely to see if Harry was going to pull away. She smiled softly as his eyes remained fixed on hers and he didn't flinch away from her. She finished closing the distance and tenderly kissed Harry on his bruised and battered lips. At first Harry remained passive but as Ginny persisted she felt Harry begin to respond, subtly returning her kiss.
Ginny backed her head away slowly, just far enough to see into Harry's eyes. She saw more green return and then they began to fill with tears. Gently she ran one hand over his cheek, trying to pour as much love as she could into her touch.
Shakily Harry brought his hand up and covered hers, holding it in place while he pressed his cheek into it, closing his eyes while he let her love flow into him.
Ginny felt her heart ease and begin to swell with the emotions she was feeling. Her Harry was back, maybe not all the way yet but they were getting there.
Harry's eyes opened and looked deeply into hers. Though they still looked haunted, they were filled with emotion.
Harry took several deep ragged breaths, "I – I don't know any more," he cried softly.
"What don't you know any more?" Ginny asked confused.
"I don't know what to do any more," he sobbed. "My whole life has been about defeating Riddle. What now?" he asked forlornly.
Ginny felt her heart breaking for Harry, the man she loved. "Now we live the rest of our lives," Ginny said tenderly.
Tears were coursing down Harry's cheeks, "I don't know how," he sobbed.
"I'll teach you," Ginny replied softly, "and what I don't know we'll learn together."
Ginny saw the surprise in Harry's eyes, "You don't hate me?" he asked in disbelief.
"No Harry, I don't hate you," she answered tenderly. "I was angry and hurt but I still love you."
Ginny watched as her words sunk in and Harry began to cry harder, pulling her in so he could bury his face into her shoulder. She felt his body shake with the outpouring of his emotions. All the hurt and horror he had experienced came tumbling out.
She wrapped her arms around him, rocking his gently as he cried, beginning the healing process that she knew they all would have to go through.
Through his gulping sobs Harry managed to get out "I love you Ginny."
"I know Harry and I love you too," she said.
That was how Hermione and the others found them a little later, by then Harry had fallen asleep in Ginny loving embrace, exhausted but no longer trapped in a prison of his own making. Finally able to accept that he had a future and though it was uncharted territory he wouldn't be facing it alone. He and Ginny would find their way into it together. He was finally Home.
XX HP + GW XX
A/N: Just a little something that came to me today. I had been reading and watching a lot about the aftermath of people dealing with war and its effects.
Physically and mentally exhausted after his confrontation with Riddle I could see Harry trying to retreat from the horrors he had been forced to live through and I threw in a little of a hurt Ginny over reacting to what Harry was forced to do. With all she had been through, she would also be suffering with PTSD and it can cause the reaction she displayed.
As with all my works, please review because hearing what you all think.