Author's Note

So much time has gone by! It's been nearly nine months since I said goodbye to trinity6diversia. It's been more definite than other attempts to pull myself away. This little thing called "real life" got in the way, complete with my own set of romance, heartbreak, and any great amount of pain and success. But tonight, I decided to go back to this part of me that's always been my way of venting and inspiring. I needed to write, and what these fanfics have always allowed me to do, is get that need out in the open. Hence this quick little update.

So what's happened to me? Quite a lot, actually. I have been working in management jobs for the past several months, leading the operations of an important program which left me with an injury that, of all things, impaired my ability to write or type for a number of weeks. My adventures throughout the course of these past nine months have inspired many great tales, and have also given me a lack of inspiration for my fanfics... until now. As my injury is nearly healed at this point, my writing is back on track.

I am, in addition, very excited for the news of Star Wars Episode VII, and very disappointed that no good Clone Wars episodes have been released in well over a month. These droid episodes drive me insane. Perhaps when the Anakin/Padme episode comes along, I will be further inspired to update my fanfics.

I cannot say if this is the start of anything. I may start updating my fanfictions at every turn, but i would not hold out hope for that. For now, enjoy this small portion of my inspiration.

Take care, everyone, and remember to always "do what you like and like what you do". It's not worthwhile otherwise. :)

trinity6diversia

Chapter Nine

The Glacial Skies couldn't have been considered "modern" in any form of the word. Some of the technology proceeded Anakin's knowledge, and of course, Anakin Skywalker was the boy that used to horde chunks of pod-racer to make his own. He knew odd technology. And even so, the Glacial Skies was kicking his butt at every turn. Within ten minutes of take-off, Anakin was gritting his teeth and swearing under his breath.

Padmé had retired early to the crew quarters in the hull of the ship. It was cramped down there, but more comfortable than sleeping in the lounge. And she was tired. After a long sleep the night before, she still woke up feeling like she'd run a marathon in record time. The morning sickness didn't help, and that had hit her within the week, no doubt brought on by the assassination attempts she had survived. The excuse she gave Master Yoda and Mace Windu was related to such a reason, and they'd taken it, having no reason themselves to doubt her.

Anakin knew better, but he also knew better than to worry his head off about it. In the presence of his Jedi Masters, he was as supportive as was necessary. He never exceeded Obi-Wan in regards to how much attention he gave Padmé. As long as he stood just a bit further away than Obi-Wan, he was good. It kept his position more neutral than otherwise, and Padmé knew not to question his motives.

It continued now. Ahsoka and Lux couldn't know about him and Padmé. And so Anakin gave them no room to suspect.

When Padmé had retired to the hull in an attempt to find an element of emotional rest, Anakin had remained in the cockpit, trying to get the upper hand over his ship. If he let his mind wander, he would find himself longing to be down with Padmé, holding her, kissing her, comforting her. And then he would remember where he was, who he was, and what he was doing… and all those fantasies would evaporate, as if they hadn't existed in the first place.

Ahsoka remained in the cockpit to help Anakin, while Lux retired to the lounge to rest up, it being no easy task breaking out of a hospital in the condition he was. The fact that he was probably playing hardcore space chess with Threepio was a reality that hadn't quite escaped Anakin, but he could care less about the kid just so long as he stayed out of his way.

"Master?"

Ahsoka flopped down in the co-pilot seat with a dramatic sigh, causing Anakin to glance at her once before returning to his database scouring.

"Hmm?"

"What's your thing with Lux?"

"Thing? I thought you were the one with the thing."

"You know what I mean."

"Do I?"

Ahsoka shook her head and sighed again. "I'm starting to understand what Padmé means when she gets on your case. You can't just fly straight, can you? Beat around the bush. Run in circles. Deviate. I just want an honest answer, and you're sitting here trying to put my words back on me. Can't you just talk to me sometime?!"

And then Ahsoka was on her feet, stomping out of the cockpit and pounding the keypad to close the door with an intensity Anakin had never really seen from her. In battle, yes, and it wasn't common to have annoyance off the front lines, but this was pure emotion, a thing Ahsoka was always very good at hiding.

If it was one thing Anakin had learned from being married to Padmé, it was that women live on emotion. Emotion is what made life work for them. It's what allows them to vent, relate, romance. Goodness knows it gave Anakin more than one surprise in his life, either for better or for worse. Clearly, her current condition was the result of emotion, in one way or another. Pure devotion and utter longing, perhaps, but emotion nonetheless. And as a result, Anakin felt like he was still a step ahead, even now.

Slowly, Anakin stood up and stepped out of the cockpit and into the foyer of the ship, a small circular room with bright lights and seats along the walls, except where hallways led to other parts of the ship. Ahsoka sat on one of the benches, her knees brought up to her chin, her feet flat in front of her, and the tentacles on her head nearly touching the bench itself. Her chin rested on her knees as she stared ahead across the foyer, unblinking, even when Anakin emerged from the cockpit.

Without a word, Anakin walked over and sat down next to Ahsoka, leaning back against the wall and taking a deep breath, folding his hands in front of him, his long legs stretched out halfway across the foyer.

"I'm sorry, Snips. What is it you wanted to know?"

"It doesn't matter now, Master."

"It does to me." He paused. "Ahsoka." She glanced up when she heard him say her name. "It matters to me."

"I know, Master, just, sometimes you don't actually show it."

"Really? How about you stop calling me 'Master', okay? Anakin is my name, and it's less obvious in foreign places."

"Fine."

"Ahsoka."

"What?"

"Quit being hard-headed."

"I learned from the best."

Anakin didn't say anything in response. He took a deep breath and let it out long and slow, closing his eyes and concentrating his mind, like he always did before entering the Force.

"Sometimes I wonder, if I were ever to become a father, if I would be a good father."

This comment was unexpected, and needless to say, it caught Ahsoka off guard. She looked at him with perplexed eyes, and was surprised to see Anakin staring off into the distance, as if he didn't even belong there at that moment. There was a long few seconds of silence, then Ahsoka said in a soft, kind voice.

"You would be a good father, Anakin. I know it. You're like a father to me, sometimes, and just look how I turned out."

"Yeah, lookee there. My 'daughter' won't even talk to me anymore."

Ahsoka laughed then, and quickly swiped the remaining tears out of her eyes, that had gathered there over a brief few seconds when she allowed them to. Anakin glanced at her, suddenly becoming grave again, and after a few tense seconds in which neither knew what to say, Ahsoka spoke again.

"So… Lux…"

"Ah, yeah, Lux."

Silence again, and Ahsoka glanced at Anakin out of the corner of her eye.

"He's a good kid, Ahsoka. Of course, I always think you can do better. Maybe I'm expecting you to go after someone more like me. Because I think you need that. But… if you like Lux, I guess you can't deny some things in life… and… wait! What am I doing?! You aren't even allowed to do this sort of stuff!"

"Really?" And Ahsoka's eyes were laughing. "You sure managed it fairly well."

"What?"

But Ahsoka was already on her feet, disappearing back into the cockpit, and for a moment, Anakin was fighting the impulse to go after her and demand a reason for her sass. Then he just had to smile, because she was like him in so many ways.

Lux was in the process of beating Threepio once more when Anakin popped into the lounge to check up on them. He was on his feet the instant the Jedi Knight walked in, and Anakin didn't even acknowledge him.

"Do me a favor and help Ahsoka at the controls, okay? I need that computer fixed so we can set the coordinates for our jump."

"The computer's gone haywire? I can fix that."

"Okay, then do it." A bit harsh, but, eh, whatever.

Then Anakin was making for the lift that would lead down into the hull, grimacing at the construction of the ship and hoping it would hold up through lightspeed. And as these thoughts circulated his mind, the doors opened and he found himself in the crew sleeping quarters, and Padmé was stretched out on one of the lower bunks, her arm curled up under her head, looking peaceful as she slept, at last.

Quietly, Anakin set the lock on the lift, to keep the others from intruding, then he slipped in beside Padmé and put an arm over her, grabbed her hand where it rested on the blankets. She stirred in her sleep, nestling closer to him as she came into partial awareness.

"Ani? What are you doing here?"

"Being with you, my love."

"What for?"

"You need it."

"What about…" But Anakin's finger was to her lips to silence her, and he was flitting little butterfly kisses all over her face, making her laugh under his loving touch. She knew he wasn't going to answer, and so she didn't press him.

"Goodnight, Padmé."

"Goodnight, Anakin." He closed his eyes and fell back against the pillow even as she spoke, and she lowered her voice to a whisper as she gazed at his exhausted face, finally revealing itself. "My dearest Ani."