Dislcaimer: I own nothing, I own no one.

Summary: He loves Roni. He does, he does- and his little girl, even though he barely has enough time to talk to them. But he can't deny what he feels for Zak and he can't stop himself from acting upon it. Zak loves him and Nick lets Zak know everyday that he feels the same too. Fate has him spinning, and Nick's only waiting for the day it spirals out of control and crashes him into a complete stop.

It's spiraling out of control, but you don't want to let go of either of them. The ring on your finger feels right where it is. The weight of the gold band is familiar and the pale outline on your skin a reminder when you forget that you're already promised to another (and you do). But the masculine body you're holding onto now feels amazing in your arms. The weight is different, but you like it- more solid, less fragile. An expanse of tan skin on muscle decorated here and there with ink and not a pierce on his body. It's different- this man is not who you're married to and definately not a woman.

But it's getting harder and you know you can't keep both. It's spiraling out of control and you're taking them along for the ride. You mean everything you say to the both of them, but secrets are just silent forms of lies. The dishonesty is getting the best of you, and you know one day soon you're going to loose one of them, if not both. The current is becoming overbearing and you nearly lost yourself in the colors and excitement. There is no way you could lead them on without one of them slipping from your fingers.

It's a matter of time now and you're kickin' back and enjoying the ride. This whirlpool you started is inconsistent, but the end is undeniable. You're comfortable where you are, but you do make mistakes here and there. When you move with her, you cannot help but compare. Soft, and all curves, shy and feminine. Gentler, she'll break, she'll break. She's not you.But when you have the other man underneath you, every cell of that body begging and voice keening, the guilt is burning at the back of your spine. When you come down from that euphoric high, with that strong body holding on because he knows you're not his to keep, the burn of guilt becomes almost unbearable and you know you can't mistake the bubbling in your stomach for pleasure. It hurts even more when you start wondering if he should've appeared in your life first, or not at all. (And that just starts a whole other round of guilt as you hold on tighter to that slumbering figure. He's changed your life so much, and you regret nothing.)

But sometimes you just forget. When you're with her, you sometimes forget you have him on the side (even though he wants to be your whole world). You go back to being the perfect family man. You're so in love with this woman and it shows. No one else knows better. And when you're with him, you tend to forget your life belongs elsewhere and not in the hands of this other male. But you like where you are there, and he likes holding onto you and being the center of your attention. You love him too, you honestly do. It can't be anything else when his smile sets you soaring and he constantly has your heart racing.

And the guilt comes back. A never ending downward spiral that every now and then puts down a treasure as gently as it picks it up, but in the end destroys everything in it's path. You can only imagine the disaster it'll leave for you when it finally sets you down too. You're almost too afraid to look back (because nothing in the past is deniable), but the future scares you just as much (even though you're denying every possible bad scenerio). Right now, right when you're lost in two different worlds quickly swirling together, you can concentrate on this one moment, away from the glow of familiar Vegas lights, and the only thing familiar about the place is the weight, scent and feel of the person clinging on to you. You know he needs you right now and the current calms.