Author's note: This is my very first story, and I hope you enjoy it. Constructive criticism would be lovely.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Glee or its characters, all credit to the creators of Glee!

Chapter One

He was supposed to be excited; he knew that. The New Directions were nearing the uncharted territory of Regionals with what was shaping up to be a kick-ass set list, yet Kurt just could not seem to get into the swing. He knew what the problem was, of course, but he couldn't do anything about it.

Kurt had accepted the consequences of being the only out gay kid at a high school long ago; he was totally alone. Not literally of course, Kurt still had his Glee friends and Mercedes was more like a sister to him, but he was alone in his way. It made him sad how all of the other Glee kids seemed to trade boyfriends and girlfriends every week, bitching about it all the while, when they didn't realise how lucky they were. Kurt couldn't just tell the one he loved how he felt or try to steal them away because they weren't like him. So he was alone, in that one but unfortunately incredibly important way.

What upset him the most was that he thought it was totally unfair. Kurt had always seen himself as more mature than the other kids; he was forced to mature at a young age, dealing with issues at 8 years old that would have scared the rest of them to death, all without a mother who he desperately needed to talk to. Kurt thought his situation unfair because whilst the rest of them played 'musical partners' he knew that if he could just have one chance to prove his love for that person, they would never part again, but he would never get that chance.

"That", Kurt thought to himself, "that is the definition of unfair."

Kurt could see that it was becoming rather ridiculous. Most of a school year had passed since Finn shouted at Puck about impulse control for pushing him into the lockers and his feelings had just snowballed from there. That was the first time that a guy had ever even noticed Kurt, let alone stood up for him, and from that first time when Finn gave him that little apology half-smile, the one that made him faze out of reality, Kurt knew that he was smitten.

At first it was nothing serious, it was a crush, everyone has crushes and he was enjoying it. Kurt would find himself relishing Finn's company in Glee club after the sometimes dastardly Mr Schuester tricked him into joining. He would occasionally stare at the back of Finn's head for slightly too long in classes or would suffer through some inane story of Finn's about football plays just so that he could be near him, but he was always careful not to let it develop into something more. Kurt could foresee the resulting mess of falling for Finn. That was another little hindrance of being so mature, overbearing foresight.

It wasn't too hard to keep himself emotionally distant from Finn. Although they had been friends since Finn joined Glee, they had never spent too long together or been forced to interact. Kurt knew that if he started feeling too much, he could simply walk away. Also, the fact that they had never talked about anything emotional, only superficial stuff, helped the situation immensely.

Strolling down the halls of McKinley High, Kurt enjoyed reminiscing about that simpler time when his plan was working so well, when he could want to go to school and when he could have fun with Finn. He chewed on the inside of his cheek with a bitter expression on his face as he remembered how he felt that he could carry on manipulating the situation for ever without it souring. Rather abruptly for Kurt's taste, it all went wrong that week in Glee club when they had to sing ballads. Mr Schue thought that they should learn what a ballad was, and sing one to a partner. Kurt, being the hopeless romantic that he was, was initially thrilled.

But then Mr Schue revealed his plan that fate would decide who their serenading partners would be. Kurt thought that Mr Schue was far too smug with himself considering the unbearable partnerships that his little plan could produce, and just as Kurt was imaging what ballad he could find that included the word "bitch" in the title if he was landed with Quinn or Santana, Finn pulled his chosen name out of the hat.

"Kurt," he said simply.

That was it. His plan seemed to fly out of the window, but what scared Kurt more is that he didn't seem to care. He and Finn inevitably spent more time together one-on-one than they ever had before being ballad partners. However, Finn was always distant, worrying about his baby and the ever pestering and controlling Quinn.

Much to Kurt's joy, their partnership seemed to become easier over the week as Finn loosened up and their friendship reached a new level as they talked Finn through his problems, giving Finn a much needed emotional release. Finn had been reclusive at first, and Kurt had been worried that he could see through his visage of the innocent, concerned friend, but after helping Finn sing his feelings towards his unborn child, Finn had let Kurt in and told him why he was so quiet; his waning confidence. Kurt realised then that he had let himself down. He had talked about feelings, he had broken down that last barrier, and he was in love.

So now he was trapped exactly where he wanted to avoid, in a sharp whirlwind of feelings where all he could see or think about or feel, was Finn, where thoughts of Finn were all that invaded his head and kept him functioning. He knew that falling in too deep into anything would open up a whole load of buried insecurities and longings that he had learned to hide, even from himself, and he kicked himself for it.

What's more, after the events of baby-gate unfolded and Finn found out the truth about the baby being Puck's, Kurt had deluded himself into thinking that now that Quinn was out of the way, he had some sort of chance to move in on Finn. As they had built up a dialogue in previous months, to Kurt's delight he was one of Finn's main supports as he struggled with the harsh news of Quinn's cheating, and when Kurt's newly released feelings were coupled with this level of intimacy, he quickly found the situation spiralling out of his control.

After months of coping, Kurt's fragility was increasing and his decision making bore the brunt of his strain. In what he could now see was a ridiculous move, he had introduced his dad to Finn's mum in a desperate attempt to get closer to Finn, but boy how that had backfired. Kurt's dad was now dating Finn's mum, and they had all ended up living together. Kurt loathed this arrangement, and despite the heart warming smiles that Carole brought to his dad's face, he could not learn to love it. He saw Finn every morning and every night as well as during the day, and this meant that his face was being constantly rubbed in his feelings.

However, he had to get on with his life, and with every hair sprayed perfectly into place, Kurt practically cantered towards the choir room. Glee was obviously his favourite part of the day as it was his preparation for inevitable stardom, and he was surrounded by the only people that understood him and actually liked him for who he was. He felt a wrench in his gut as he admitted to himself that he was also so excited because Glee was where he was. He skidded to a halt, mentally slapping himself halfway down the corridor.

"Would you just stop thinking for a change, this is the fun part of your day."

As he jogged down the corridor and rounded the corner to the unmistakably annoying opinions of Rachel Berry already in full flight, he was horrified at the sight that greeted him. Tina sat in the front row, wearing jogging bottoms and a plain hooded jumper. Kurt listened absolutely aghast whilst Tina explained that she was no longer allowed to wear her 'Goth-Girl' image by order of Principal Figgin's. It offended him on two fronts, firstly it was a travesty to fashion that Tina had to resort to jogging bottoms, but mostly it was inexcusable to him that someone should have to hide their uniqueness.

Coincidentally, Rachel had a reason to be spouting at the top of her voice for once; she had discovered that Vocal Adrenaline were working on a Lady Gaga number. This spelt crushing defeat for the New Directions at Regionals because as Artie pointed out, she was a perfect fit for them. Spurred on by the Glee clubs presence, which always afforded him strength, Kurt knew that they had to act fast to counteract the Vocal Adrenaline genius and was hurriedly brain-storming when Mr Schue had one of his admittedly more fantastic ideas.

He suggested that they should do a Gaga number and find Tina a new look at the same time, killing two birds with one stone. It was absolutely brilliant and Kurt was buzzing with excitement as soon as the words left Mr Schue's lips. This was going to be Kurt's best assignment of the year by far.

And they get to burn those hideously atrocious jogging bottoms.