Discord was bored, a free spirit trapped within stone. He could still effect some things in the normally quiet land Equestria, provided he didn't make it too obvious. This was a very bad thing, because when a reality warping psychopath tries to find amusement, things tend to end up breaking the laws of the universe and as well as the sanity of most involved. The Draconequus ran his mental hands over the fabric of space and time that separated on dimension from the next. He grinned to himself as he ripped open a small hole, and rhymed as he reached within.

"Give me a monster, no make it two, one fiery red, the other blue. Put them in the pony shape, so that in shock their mouths will gape. Now time for fun, don't cry for momma, I summon you... Anung Un Rama .."

Taking the essence of the two, he tossed them into the world, chuckling at this bit of chaos. Well, it's about time the groundskeeper came to clean the bird droppings off my head. I hope he uses the wire brush today, that pigeon's stomach was upset... I hate you so much Celestia...

…

At the edge of the ever mystical Everfree Forest, two ponies stumbled out of the brush and into the sunlight. They were covered in mud and sticks, dazed from the crash landing up otherwise fine. One touched a hoof to its ear, pressing a hidden ear bud. It was huge, thick and stony. It appeared to be an Alicorn, but with two blunted stubs than the usual huge unicorn horn. In place of the beautiful feathered limbs, two huge bat's wings were curled at his back.

"Aw crap... where and what the hell are we? I said, where the hell are we? Liz? Roger? Crap, the radio's dead. You holding up Abe? Must be rough suddenly being a seahorse and all."

The other mud coated pony shook his head, mud flinging off. In place of fur, rubbery blue skin, with gills at the base of the neck. In place of hooves, thin flesh flippers flopped beneath him as he walked, a large tail dragged in his wake. A sort of... merpony.

"No and... Red, I'm a hippocamp. You've fought some, you should know their proper name. Unless you're trying to make light of us suddenly being in a strange territory, with no communication, and these... strange bodies."

The pair looked at each other again. They seemed confused by the cutie marks that adorned their flanks. "Abe" had a sword within a circle, held by an out-thrust hand. "Red" simply had a stony red right hand. Red sighed, looking at his hooves.

"Well, let's find some water and wash this crap off. If we're lucky we'll find a zipper and get these tacky costumes off, eh?"

They found a river, which pleased Abe greatly. The tail was quite a burden, though in the water it weighed nothing at all. He found even the slightest twitch let him storm upstream. Red got out once he was clean, and found the wings to be quite effective at blow drying his fur. With the mud washed away, it was clear he was only red on the front half, his mane and the fur around his back legs black. He walked along, if not pleased with then at least use to the new body.

"Well, let's follow the river Abe. Hopefully we'll find some kind of town and find out where the hell we are. Wait, stop... is that a... pegasus?"

Ditzy Doo was on her morning rounds, when she noticed the two. Ignoring the ingrained instinct to avoid strangers, she flew down and smiled softly at them.

"Good mooring to you. Are you pokeys lost? I can show you the weight."

Red looked at Abe, who only shrugged. Well, she doesn't seem dangerous. She can fly, that seems to be it. And hell, I can do that too now.

"Alright, but can you show us along the river? My fishy friend here has a tough time on land right now. I wouldn't want to fly off and leave him vulnerable."

Ditzy grinned and landed next to the strange red colt. She knew to look past the outside, and despite being rough around the edges, she could see these two were nice ponies.

"Alright, lettuce go."

Going along the river, it wasn't terribly long before they reached Ponyville. Ditzy led them to the post office, opening her apartment to the duo. The carpet still had spots on the floor, and there was a new oven, but otherwise it was as if the disaster had never happened. Ditzy gestured at the couch for them to sit.

"I'll bring us some tea and backs. Do you like muffins?"

Abe put a flipper over Red's mouth before he could answer. The Demicorn shot a glare. Why the hell are we playing little girl tea party with a damn pony?

"We'd love some. I apologize for our imposition, especially since we haven't introduced ourselves. I'm Abe Sapien, and this is Hellboy, but we call him Red."

Ditzy just stared blankly, going cross eyed after a moment. She shook her head, and rubbed a hoof in her ear. She seemed to focus very made, and each word came out carefully, as if speaking was suddenly a delicate challenge.

"Well, um... I... am.. Ditzy... Doo. Someponies call me... Derpy... Hooves. They're... joking. I hope."

The Hellcolt removed the fin, and spat. He pointed the stone hoof at Miss Doo.

"Ugh, listen um... filly. I don't want to sound mean, but we're not from here. We need answers, and I for one am not going to play tea time waiting on them! Who's in charge around here?"

Shaking from fear, the pegasus pointed out the window to Canterlot.

"Princess Celery. She's ruled a thousand ears, she's the bleeder of us."

Red snorted and stomped out of the house. Abe pat Ditzy on the shoulder.

"Forgive him, he's just grumpy. The wings and horns are... a bit of a sore spot for him. He just wants to get back home in his real body."

Ditzy just looked confused as Abe scooted after. She decided she needed a cup of tea and a muffin, and possibly a visit to Nurse Redheart to see if her condition was getting worse.

…

Ok, my sincerest apologies. I want to try and make this a worthwhile crossover, but at the moment I'm trying to both meet my daily update rule and get things done at home. I hope this at least made you laugh at the idea, because I seriously need to brighten the mood after Big Mac's Day Off Chapter 4. I'll expand on this every now and then, so think of this as my fully comedic story, with maybe some action.

Hope this doesn't make you think less of me, if you don't like just ignore it and pretend it never existed. Officially, it will not have the same privilege I grant my other stories, namely, the mixing back and forth of developments and characters. This story will be entirely self contained. Hellcolt and Abe Equus will not appear in the others... in real life. There may be a literal Dark Horse Comics though...