Learning the Language

Part Two

"This is a pleasant surprise," commented Zhuni as she found Julian waiting for her at the usual meeting point for their regular rounds through Ginala. Many inhabitants, invalided and/or chronically ill, still had no way of getting to either of the city's two hospitals, public transport being strictly reserved for technical and medical use only. Julian actually enjoyed their rounds because they discovered a new part of the city every time; however, for the last few weeks he had sent Goral to accompany Zhuni, officially to further her training. Inofficially, he had needed some time to himself to sort through the muddle that were his emotions and his memories. The trip to Lakat had brought to the surface all his feelings of hurt and betrayal at Ezri having left him; unfortunately, suppressing them for months hadn't improved matters. Which he had sort of known at the time, but he hadn't cared.

"I am pleased to see you as well, though of course not surprised." He inclined his head and smiled at Dr. Palok, who linked her arm in his as they started walking towards their first destination. "I hope Goral has been an adequate substitute for me." He thought bringing up the official reason for sending his nurse to accompany Dr. Palok would not do now.

"Adequate in every way in the medical sense," Zhuni concurred. "She is a very able nurse and soon-to-be-doctor."

"I'm glad you think so. I hope to make her pass the tests soon; we need as many doctors as we can get."

"We, Julian?" Zhuni smiled at him. "I'm glad to hear you have not withdrawn from our community, even if you withdrew from me for a while." She held up the hand that wasn't holding his arm, and the memory of Garak making a very similar gesture came back to him in a flash. "No reproach. You needed time to think. It looks to me as though it has helped you."

He nodded slowly. "Yes, I think it has."

They talked about medical matters and Zhuni's family for the rest of their round. Then, Zhuni proposed they take a stroll in the recently reopened park in the city centre.

"This used to be the most beautiful park on the planet," she said as they strolled along a path flanked with violet-and-blue bushes whose flowers looked a little like Earth's wild roses. "They have done a fair job of rebuilding it, but there is a lot of flora that still needs to regrow."

"It's beautiful," Julian said, who knew Cardassians well enough by now not to question the fact that some of the spare resources had been used to rebuild this; a haven of orderly but elegant beauty was exactly the kind of thing their bruised souls needed now, and indeed the park was full of people strolling, pushing people along in wheelchairs, sitting on benches and generally looking more at peace than he had seen people look in these past few months.

"Have you been working on your projects these past weeks?" Zhuni inquired, and he marveled at the subtle transition from work talk to personal inquiries about what he had been up to during his quasi-isolation.

"Not much." He had known they would end up talking about it in the end, but it was still hard. "I've mainly been thinking. Sorting out a few things in my head."

"About your ex-girlfriend," Zhuni offered.

"Yes. At first," Julian admitted. "That was the focus of my thoughts for a while, I guess I hadn't really allowed myself to grieve her loss." He frowned. "I'm making it sound as though she'd dead. She's actually doing well, she's back home."

"In a way a former lover is always dead to us," said Zhuni wisely, and Julian had to concur. "So it was your focus for a while, but then you moved on to think about... more current matters?"

They found a bench shining in the glow of the warm afternoon sun and sat down. "Yes," Julian said again. "I..." He sighed. "I was so intent on not thinking about Ezri, I prevented myself from thinking about other things as well. Other people."

"I see." Zhuni paused. "And your encounter with your friend the Minister returned all your memories to you, good and bad."

He nodded, having to smile a little at the designation she had seemingly decided on for Garak.

"But you feel like you are now more capable of thinking about your present life, and making decisions which will affect your immediate future?"

Julian smiled. She was really very good. "Exactly."

"Especially concerning one specific person?"

He looked at her in surprise. There was no way she could know – unless she had seen... "Yes, but..."

Obviously misinterpreting the look on his face, Zhuni added, "I can assure you, she is still very interested in you. She talked about little else on our rounds. If you like I can give you a few tips how to proceed. I assume it will be the first time you ask for the attentions of –"

"Zhuni," he interrupted her. "I'm not talking about Goral. I know she's still interested in me, and I still think she's a very nice and a very attractive woman, but... I'm just not interested in her. That's one of the things I realized during these past few weeks."

She frowned. "But then who –" She stopped herself and stared at him, the most open and expressive look he had ever seen on her face.

"You are joking, Julian!"

He had to chuckle at that, then shook his head. "I wish I were."

"You are – I mean to say – you and the Minister?" She was completely taken aback; he had never heard her stammer before.

"Yes. No – not what you mean. We were never – there was never anything between us."

"Then pray, Julian Bashir, what do you mean? Put me out of my misery before I have to inject myself with a sedative."

Julian grinned. "Sorry. It's not very easy to talk about it right after you realize it yourself. The thing is – well, Goral does have some part to play in this story, and so do you. She, for expressing her interest in me in that very Cardassian way, and you, for translating her body language for me." He shook his head, feeling like an idiot, while he knew perfectly well that it was all due to intercultural differences. "I never would have guessed if you hadn't pointed it out to me, you see. And I never did guess back on DS9."

Zhuni gave a low whistle, much like the one Julian had often heard from Captain Sisko. "You are saying that your friend the Minister... courted you... back when you knew him on the station, and you never had any idea he was being more than friendly?"

"I'm afraid that's exactly what I'm saying." The mixture of exasperated amusement on her face suddenly annoyed him. "Zhuni, don't give me that look. I don't mean to offend, but, honestly, you Cardassians – you all assume you are so easy to read and everyone else is an idiot for not getting it. Well I'm sorry, but to us, you're not easy to read at all. And Garak certainly never gave me any clues."

She nodded slowly, and there was sympathy in her eyes. "You may be right," she conceded. "We do tend to be very arrogant about our superior culture and superior ways. We may overlook sometimes that other cultures have other – and not inferior – ways of doing things and of communicating with each other."

"Thank you." He squeezed her hand. "I'm pretty certain I'd never get a similar reply out of him."

"Well, no, if what you say is true. He must be a terrible tease." She shook her head, smiling, obviously amused at all these details she was learning about her Minister. He was sure it must feel almost blasphemous to her to be discussing her leader's private life. However, Zhuni was not the most conventional of Cardassians he had ever met, so he was sure she'd cope. "Why do you think he courted you for so long without ever divulging his intentions to you? Or, you know – taking a leaf out of the book of human customs and being a little more... forward?"

"I don't know. It's entirely possible that he was just amusing himself. I know he wasn't very happy on the station – I mean, you heard him the other day." Garak had actually followed his advice and, two weeks after Julian's departure from Lakat, had talked about his past in his broadcast, explaining that he had been exiled for political reasons – nothing more detailed than that, anything else would have surprised Julian. He had gone on to say that he had met many interesting off-worlders during this time and that he thought the way forward for Cardassia was to open itself to other cultures and learn from them; and finally, he had assured his people that he had never wanted any harm to come to Cardassia, that he had never stopped loving his homeworld. He had actually used that word – aynan – not a word Julian had ever thought he would hear from this man.

"Yes," agreed Zhuni. "But, you know, if he really was an exile, I doubt that he would have felt he had the right to pursue you any more than he did. He might have felt it was impossible for the two of you ever to be together."

"There are both of these possibilities, I guess." Julian frowned. "Although he did kind of renew his attentions when we met in Lakat."

"He did! Now that is something else entirely." Zhuni was now looking positively excited. "What did he do?"

Julian described, and demonstrated, Garak's body language as they had said goodbye in front of the hotel, and Zhuni nodded, impressed. "And this is the kind of thing he used to do, but you never realized what it meant?"

"Afraid so."

"And what happened then? He just left?"

"Well, I – I was so astonished that I didn't really know how to react, and I guess he took my hesitation as a clue to leave."

Zhuni pursed her lips. "All right, let us disassemble the problem with the efficiency of a couple of good surgeons. Option number one, he was just having fun on – DS9, did you call it? Something to while away the long hours of exile, but he was never seriously interested in you, nor did he expect you to understand his signals. If so, he could have just allowed himself a bit of nostalgia in Lakat. But, Julian, he heard you speaking excellent Kardasi during your lecture, and he must have noticed that your body language had changed as well. Therefore, he would have had to assume that there was a strong possibility you would understand him this time."

"True," Julian said, slowly. "Unless he wanted to tease me, remind me of his behaviour towards me on DS9, show me he'd been having me on all this time." He narrowed his eyes, suddenly annoyed at his old friend. "It would be just the way he would do things, the infuriating bastard."

Zhuni gave a scandalised little giggle. "Julian, I will not permit you to speak like that about our very esteemed leader! All right, option number two: He was genuinely interested in you, but too frightened or too respectful to actually take it a step further. Now, Lakat – that must have brought back quite a few memories for him as well. Again, it may just have been nostalgia, a reminder of what he had felt back then. But if he is as smart as you say, and he certainly seemed it from the little I saw of him – well, it is highly unlikely he would risk exposing his feelings to you."

"But don't you think it's a risk anyway? I mean, assuming he wanted to... pursue me further. Isn't it a little weird for your esteemed leader to make advances to an off-worlder?"

"Not to this leader," she waved off his objection with an impatient hand. "Anyway, that is not the issue at hand. The issue at hand, my dear, is how you feel about him." She leaned back, fixing him with a penetrating stare. He almost felt as though in an interrogation.

"I was afraid we would get to that point." He sighed. "Honestly? I don't know. I'm only coming to terms with the possibility that Garak may fancy me." He saw Zhuni wrinkling her nose disapprovingly at the word he had picked up on the street and filed it away as slang, not fit for polite company. "I don't know how I feel about him. The only thing I've learned from all of this: I'm sort of over Ezri, and I'm not interested in Goral."

"And that doesn't seem like some sort of clue to you?" Zhuni asked disbelievingly. He shrugged, and she placed a sisterly hand on his arm. "Julian, at the end of the day, the sun always goes back to the horizon to find where he belongs."

The gist of this very Cardassian metaphor was that he had to go to Lakat to find out about his own feelings, Julian thought as he replayed the conversation in his head on his way to Lakat some ten days later. He was accompanying Goral on her trip to get her doctor's degree. She seemed very grateful for the company, but he could see that the tips Zhuni had given him with regard to his future behaviour had paid off: Nurse Goral no longer seemed to think that there was a possibility she could win his heart. They were just good colleagues now, though if she passed her tests, which Julian had no doubt about, not for much longer; they had already talked about her taking over the hospital after being proclaimed a trained doctor. Julian didn't know what lay ahead of him, but he knew that he had to move on either way.

He had sent a message ahead this time, telling Garak that he was visiting the capital, and Garak had sent back a very friendly reply almost immediately, telling him that he would try and make as much time for him as he could.

Julian dropped Goral off at the Cardassian Medical Research Faculty, wished her the best of luck and set off towards the parliament. It had been partially rebuilt by now; the interim government was occupying offices in the west wing while the east wing was still under heavy construction.

It looked very much like an old Roman ruin, Julian thought, who had seen a few pictures of the city of Rome pre World War III. They were obviously trying to reconstruct it in the same style as the old building, which Julian knew had been over three hundred years old, so that the reconstructed bit now looked ancient and the rest like it had simply fallen victim to old age and weather.

"Doctor Julian Bashir, Federation medical aid worker," he introduced himself in the makeshift lobby. "I have an appointment with Minister Garak."

The receptionist looked him up and down. He could see that the man was trying hard not to look suspiciously at this off-worlder in front of him. "What time is your appointment, Doctor Bashir?"

"Er... we didn't set a time, actually. I just arrived in Lakat and Gar- the Minister said I should stop by as soon as I arrived."

The receptionist nodded and tapped his communications panel. "There is a Federation doctor by the name of Bashir who wishes to speak to the Minister," he said. Julian waited while the information was no doubt passing through several levels and back again. Finally the receptionist confirmed his request and another employee stepped out of the lift into the lobby. After searching Julian and the rather large medical kit he brought along everywhere these days, he asked him to follow him.

This man, Julian noticed, was not as good at hiding his dislike of aliens; in fact, his tone of voice was positively rude when Julian asked him how long he had been working here.

"I have worked in the government all my life," he said, "and I was here before the interim government was constituted."

Ah. A remnant of the old order, no doubt one of many concessions the interim government had had to make. No wonder the man wasn't very friendly.

"My dear Doctor," Garak welcomed him warmly as they stepped into his office, "please, sit down. Thank you, Fren, that will be all." The man gave a curt nod to Garak and to Julian – though Julian noticed a distinct lack of respect in his nod to him – and left the office. Garak did not comment on the lack of courtesy and smiled at Julian.

"I hope you had a pleasant journey?"

"Thank you, yes. Much more pleasant than last time," he replied and looked around him at the stacks of files and folders and books.

"Ah yes, the unfortunate incident with the drunk," Garak said, leaning forward in his chair and looking as though it was up to him to apologize for the misdeeds of one of his citizens. "But you were in good company both times," he remarked. "Dr. Zhuni Palok and Nurse Tirana Goral are certainly two very charming young ladies." He sat back and watched Julian, his eyes twinkling.

"I see you are back in the business of information?" Julian smiled.

"No, doctor, only information regarding you. Since I did not get the chance to... aid you in your integration into Cardassian society, I thought it only appropriate that I learn something about those who did."

"Of course. Well, as you say, they are very charming – and very good friends." He took care to employ the appropriate word for 'friend', one he was pretty sure carried no implication of anything romantic or sexual.

"I see," said Garak, regarding him with a quizzical look. "Nurse Goral is passing her doctor's exam, I believe?"

"So I told you in my message," Julian said, unable to keep a grin off his face. It was just like Garak to take a fact he had been told and make it sound as though he had uncovered a mystery.

Garak acknowledged his retort with a fraction of a nod and a smile. "And may I ask what her plans are after she passes it? I am assuming you would never encourage someone to take it who was not ready."

"I suppose you're right, I wouldn't," Julian agreed. "She's planning on taking over my hospital in Ginala. That is, we've talked about it and we both agree that's the best thing for both of us. Goral is from Ginala and doesn't want to leave, and I, well..." He trailed off.

"You, doctor?" Garak looked at him expectantly. At that moment, a knock came on his door, followed immediately by another employee who brought a document Garak had evidently been waiting for. They discussed this for a few minutes, then the man went on his way, not before nodding to Julian on his way out.

"Some do observe the basic courtesies here then," Julian commented, and Garak shot him a sharp look.

"I see you are now well versed in Cardassian politeness," he said. "Of course, I expected nothing less from you. You have always had an excellent memory."

And he went back to studying the document in his hand. But Julian was sure something had just transpired between them: an unspoken agreement that they both knew the meaning of Garak's behaviour towards him the last time they had met.

They were walking along the river running through Lakat's north eastern district, Garak's home and, according to him, the most interesting and beautiful place in Lakat. They had had a lovely dinner and a long walk and had talked about many inconsequential things, and Julian was enjoying himself more than he had in a long time; still, there was something weighing on his mind. Except for that moment back in Garak's office – and that hadn't been anything clear, there had only been a hint of an understanding between them – they hadn't yet alluded to Garak's behaviour towards Julian on Deep Space Nine or the last time they had met. Nor was Garak giving Julian any signs in that direction now.

Perhaps he had just been having a laugh, Julian thought, an amusing little reminder to himself about how he had once mock-flirted with Julian to pass the time, and now that he knew that Julian would understand, he kept strictly to friendliness. Oh, he was being very friendly indeed; Garak was giving him the sorts of looks and smiles, and occasionally using endearments in his speech, that Julian had observed only in very close friends, and he was glad of it. However, he was beginning to realize that the absence of anything beyond that was... not just confusing, but upsetting. He missed that

extra layer of their relationship – and he missed the strange excitement he had felt whenever he had thought of Garak during these past few weeks.

"... and that was the end of that debate," Garak concluded.

"Fascinating," said Julian. Fortunately, listening and thinking could be two entirely separate processes in his brain, sometimes. "So you've not only become the people's leader and weekly reassuring presence, but are also working as mediator inside the government? I didn't think trying to unite all the different factions would be one of your specialties."

"Why not, doctor? I have always enjoyed a good argument."

"Yes, an argument where you would defend your point of view to the death," Julian smiled.

"Ah, but I still do," said Garak, looking rather smug. "I just make everyone else arrive at my point of view in the end, while making them believe that they have contributed something and that every side has made concessions."

Julian didn't quite believe him; he definitely got the feeling his old friend had... mellowed somewhat. But if he needed to tell himself otherwise in order to maintain his ego, well, who was Doctor Julian Bashir to tell the Cardassian minister about what he thought was a rather positive development of his character?

They walked along in silence for a while, until Garak said, "Your mind is lingering on the past, I presume?"

"No, actually. On the future." They crossed over a tiny wooden bridge, and Julian stopped to enjoy the view. You could see all the way down the river, right into the city centre; he reckoned he could even see the outline of the main station.

"Ah." Garak joined him at the railing. "And have you reached any conclusions?"

"Not really."

"In that case, might I try and influence your decision-making process? We do need minds like yours in the capital, you know."

Julian smiled. "Are you asking me to work for the interim government?"

"Not officially, I'm afraid. I don't think my... colleagues would easily accept an off-worlder in any sort of official position." The casual way in which Garak said this amazed Julian. Well, his friend had always had a knack for pragmatism. "A fact I am hoping to change in the long run, of course," Garak added.

"So you don't believe in the absolute superiority of Cardassians anymore?" Julian asked, unable to resist the challenge. Now that he understood much more about the Kardasi language, it was twice as much fun to argue with Garak.

"I believe that Cardassia will profit from a more... intimate contact with aliens," replied Garak. Julian shot him a quick look; there was no innuendo on Garak's face, but the word, and the pause before it, had been very interesting indeed. "Don't worry, Doctor, I am not becoming an obsessive xenophile. It is still all for the good of the state."

"Good. I'd hate to see you lose touch with your priorities."

"Your concern is much appreciated, doctor," said Garak, with a little fake-formal nod to underline the sarcasm.

"As for your offer, well... I don't know. I'd love to help, I just..." He shrugged.

"I wouldn't want to keep you from pursuing your life in Ginala, of course," Garak said, in a completely neutral tone. "If there are reasons... for example a certain nurse-now-doctor... keeping you there."

Julian smiled, inwardly thanking Garak for paving the way towards a more direct approach of the matter. It wasn't as though he himself had any problems being direct – but he had learned the hard way that you couldn't get anything out of a Cardassian unless they allowed it first.

"No nurse-now-doctor is keeping me anywhere," he said. "We're just friends, Garak."

"I see. So you are... free to come to the capital?"

"I am free," replied Julian, knowing full well that using the word without any complement was very ambiguous in Kardasi.

Garak turned around, leaning his back against the railing, facing Julian. He was giving him a very strange look. Julian stared back. And then, just for experiment's sake, he tilted his head very slightly to the left.

Garak's eyes lit up, and he slowly lifted his hand to cup Julian's cheek.

"My dear," he murmured.

Julian covered his hand with his own, then lifted his other to stroke the side of Garak's face, just above the ear. It was a gesture he had observed every now and then in patients and their loved ones; he knew it now to be very intimate.

"My dear doctor," said Garak in a voice much lower than Julian had ever heard from him. "I hope you know what you are doing to me."

"I hope so, too," said Julian, and kissed him.

"And then what?" asked Zhuni, her face on the monitor looking clearly riveted.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Palok, that part has been strictly censored by the interim government," Julian said, smiling wickedly. Zhuni made an exasperated sound. "All right, be Cardassian about it," she said. "But do tell me whether you talked about your future or not."

"We talked about the past and the future," he said. "It was option number two, for your information."

She grinned. "I thought so." Then she used something that sounded like an expletive, a word he had never heard before. "My friend Julian and the Minister! Who would have thought it possible. All right then, that was the past. And the future?"

"Well, I'll be staying in Lakat for the foreseeable future," he said. "Dr. Jarat has offered me a post at the Faculty, so I'll be doing a lot more research, which, frankly, isn't unwelcome right now."

"Yes, I imagine you have done enough field work to last you a lifetime," Zhuni concurred. "I'm glad to hear Dr. Jarat appreciates you that much. Do be careful, my dear, or you'll soon have all the doctors on Cardassia Prime at your feet."

He snorted. "You were never interested in me."

"No, dear." She wrinkled her nose. "I like my men a little older. As do you, apparently."

He cleared his throat meaningfully, and she grinned. "Well, I hope I won't be losing you entirely," she said finally. "Caught up in research in the capital, and in a secret affair with our esteemed leader... doesn't sound like you'll be having much time to spare for your old friend."

"I'll make the time." He smiled warmly at her. "After all, you're the reason we managed to get together after almost eight years of ambiguity."

"She is, is she?" said Garak, his arm around Julian's waist, his other hand stroking slowly and almost meticulously through his hair, as they half-sat on Garak's sofa watching the Federation news with one eye and the sunset with another.

"Absolutely. You would never have let on, you devious bastard." Julian put his hand over Garak's which was resting on his stomach, and intertwined their fingers. "You would have been happy to let this be one of those unfinished Cardassian romances where the heroes never get together because they enjoy having vague, allusion-laden conversations much more than actually getting it on."

Garak laughed low, and Julian could feel the vibration all along his spine. "Unfinished. That just shows how little you understand about our great classics. We will have to resume our studies. And by the way, 'getting it on'? I don't think we should speak Standard at all anymore. There are no such frivolous phrases in my language."

"Aren't there?" Julian half-turned and whispered some of the choicest ones he had picked up into Garak's ear. He was pleased to hear his partner's breathing become a little more shallow.

"Well, there are those," Garak conceded, and then they were too busy to speak for a while.

"Anyway," said Julian when they had resettled on the sofa, arm in arm, "don't threaten Zhuni with a government post or anything, she's very happy where she is."

"As you wish, dearest. But I would be very pleased to meet her one day."

"As would she. She's still calling you 'your friend the Minister'."

Garak chuckled. "I quite like that. Although I may not fit that description for much longer."

"My friend?"

"The Minister."

"Oh?" Julian turned around fully now and fixed Garak with a questioning glance. "You're planning on resigning?"

"I'm planning on letting someone younger and more interested in the job take over when the time comes for elections. It's all been very well, rebuilding and finding resources and so on, but I really don't enjoy the spotlight. Besides..." He buried a hand in Julian's hair again, regarding him fondly. "I don't think a Minister could very well be seen walking hand in hand with a human, not even in the present climate. A... say, consultant... perhaps."

Julian kissed him lightly on the lips. "My friend the consultant it is." He smiled suddenly and gave Garak a shrewd look. "I suppose you'd have more time for other pursuits then, too. After all, the information network on Cardassia is still severely –"

"Really, Julian, you have always had such a vivid imagination..." They smiled, now more comfortable with each other than ever before. There was a world of unsaid things between them, and they had a lot of time ahead to say them; but Julian felt as though many things needn't be said anymore. It had all been settled that night at the river, with one look and one very particular tilt of the head.

The End