Title: For It's Late and the Moon is High
Author: samuraiheart
Email: [email protected]
Pairing: Touya/Yukito
Warnings: shounen-ai, m/m
SPOILERS for all of the manga
Archive: Clamp Fan Fiction Archive - yes, others ask
Summary: Touya and Yukito find that love isn't easy - especially between friends
Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs to Clamp - not me.
Chapter One: The Best Laid Plans
"Ne, Yuki, do you want to go get a snack or something?" Touya asked hesitantly. He was more nervous than he cared to admit. Today was the day he had decided to finally confess his feelings for Yukito.
Yukito grinned at the suggestion, warm brown eyes brightening into an almost rapturous gaze. "Hai, To-ya, that would be great! I know a great coffee shop near the library!"
Touya let out a soft sigh of relief. At least that part was over with - not that he had really expected Yukito to say no. He couldn't even remember the last time his friend had turned down food of any kind.
The two friends walked silently in the direction of the coffee shop. That in itself was not unusual since Touya was not generally a talkative person, but this silence was not the comfortable quiet that often settled over the two friends. This silence was taut with nervousness and hesitation. It stretched in the space between them like a string pulled just a bit too far.
Touya trudged on at Yukito's side, as the light-haired young man seemed to skip along completely oblivious to Touya's apprehension.
Touya shook his head slightly at the site and his lips curved upwards in a ghost of a smile. It was just one of the many things he loved about Yukito. He only hoped his friend would return his feelings. He could never really tell how Yukito felt about him. He felt sure that there was something more than friendship between the two of them, but he wasn't certain that Yukito would name it love.
Touya had come to his own conclusion after many sleepless nights and shy glances in Yukito's direction during study sessions. He had no doubt that this feeling was called love and he wanted nothing more than to wrap Yukito in his arms and announce his devotion with a long, slow kiss in front of the whole town, but he knew that probably wasn't the best idea.
Instead he had decided that he would take his friend out for a snack after school and break the news to him sometime between bites of a sugary confection of his choosing preferably somewhere quiet and secluded.
He had tried not to think about what would happen if Yukito said no in the hopes that if he never considered it then it wouldn't even be an option, but at least this plan would allow him to escape without causing too much of a commotion if such action became necessary. It would also give him the opportunity for that kiss if things went well.
Touya felt his cheeks burn at the thought and he nearly missed the door to the coffee shop as Yukito shot him a confused look and gestured to the glass door with a cheerful sign welcoming customers to "Stop in and try our muffins."
"Come on, To-ya. It's right here."
"Right." Touya answered nodding at his friend and holding the door open as Yukito stepped inside and grinned at the woman behind the counter as if they were old friends. Touya started to wonder how many times Yukito had visited this particular coffee shop, but waved the thought aside as Yukito placed his order.
"Do you want anything, To-ya?" Yukito asked innocently after ordering enough sweets for half a dozen people at least.
"No thanks." Touya answered shaking his head. Yukito shrugged his shoulders and turned back towards the counter to wait for his food.
Touya couldn't seem to catch his breath. He was definitely more nervous than he thought he would be. He clenched and unclenched his hands at his sides several times and tried to take slow even breaths in an attempt to calm himself. The nervousness made itself known in the form of butterflies dancing in his stomach adding to his general feeling of uneasiness. He was sure that he looked a mess, but he decided that he didn't care. Soon this would all be over and then he could deal with the consequences. Waiting was the worst part and he felt fairly sure that even rejection couldn't possibly feel any worse than this constant feeling of uncertainty.
Touya swallowed thickly at the prospect of rejection. No matter what he told himself he knew that that would be a heavy blow. He tried not to think about such things as Yukito thanked the cashier and picked up a large paper sack full of pastries and turned towards Touya with a wide grin gracing his lips.
"Okay, Touya, where do you want to eat?" Yukito asked cheerfully taking a bite of a frosted piece of cake.
Touya blinked back at his friend and suddenly found it very difficult to put two words together let alone form a coherent thought. "Ano…"
"To-ya?" Yukito asked once more this time his voice was laced with concern and he raised one eyebrow in confusion.
"Outside." Touya answered decisively.
Yukito nodded at the sentiment and followed Touya out the door and down the sidewalk towards a tree lined section of the nearby park. It was spring and the cherry blossoms were just beginning to bloom. Small pink buds dotted the dark branches of several trees and rustled softly in the cool breeze sweeping across them. Sunlight streamed across the landscape highlighting brilliant colors of the setting and casting contrasting shadows across the pavement before them.
They found an empty park bench and sat down together. Yukito continued nibbling at his desserts while Touya sat quietly examining his hands folded in his lap and trying to think of a good way to open the conversation.
"To-ya, is everything okay?" Yukito turned towards his friend with a worried expression on his face. His eyes were wide with uncertainty as he peered at Touya's slumped shoulders and fidgeting hands.
"Yeah." Touya answered in a voice just above a whisper. He lifted his gaze meeting Yukito's troubled expression with solemn blue eyes shimmering with emotion. He bit his lip and swallowed resolutely, deciding that it would be best if he just came right out and said it. He couldn't avoid the subject any longer. "Yuki, there's something I have to tell you."
Touya's voice was hushed and wavered slightly as he shifted his gaze away from Yukito's eyes and focused on a spot just over his shoulder. Yukito's bag of sweets sat forgotten by his side as he leaned closer waiting to hear whatever it was that was making Touya so nervous.
Touya glanced down at his hands and let the words spill from his lips in quick succession before he could reconsider. "I love you."
The sincere words seemed to echo in the space between them as Yukito's eyes widened and his lips parted slightly as if to respond. He closed them just as quickly and stared back at his friend in silence.
The world around them seemed to fade from existence as Touya gained a little more confidence and continued. "I care about you very much, Yuki. I always have. I would do anything for you and I need you more than you will ever know. I love you." Touya shrugged at the last words and turned towards Yukito with a hint of a smile on his face. He froze at the look Yukito gave him. His friend stared back at him with an expression somewhere between surprise and alarm. Yukito's wide brown eyes flickered with disbelief and he sat with both shoulders leaning away from his friend as if he wanted to get away as quickly as possible.
Touya's smile faded as Yukito looked down at the gap on the bench between them and frowned. He strained to hear Yukito's words amidst the oppressive silence that seemed to have settled over the pair, nerves stretched to the breaking point and his heart still beating quickly in his chest.
"I'm sorry, To-ya." Yukito couldn't bring himself to look up at his friend as he spoke the words. "I don't feel the same way."
Yukito turned to retrieve his coffee shop purchases as he stood up and walked quickly away from the dark-haired young man still sitting on the park bench trying to desperately to understand what had just taken place.
Touya watched Yukito until he disappeared around the corner and then his shoulders slumped dejectedly and he closed his eyes in an effort to push away the ache in his chest as Yukito's words repeated over and over in his head. He took in a slow shuddering breath and brought both hands up to cover his eyes as he buried his head in them and tried to suppress the feelings of panic and despair swimming within his soul. He had never planned on this. He wasn't sure why, but he had been almost certain that Yukito would return his affections. He never expected to be turned down and he was completely unprepared for the consequences. He bent his head in shame and sorrow as sobs bubbled up in his throat and escaped through barely parted lips. Tears lingered at the edges of his gaze and gathered on dark lashes as he wiped them away before they could fall down his pale cheeks.
He felt as if his world had shattered in the space of a few moments. He had no idea what to do next and dreaded the thought of days and weeks passing as he struggled to overcome this horrible sense of loneliness. He never thought he would feel this way again after he had found Yukito. His friend had brought warmth and comfort into his life like he had never known before and now it was gone. It was over and he had ruined it all with just a few simple words on a sunny afternoon.
TBC
Notes: This takes place some time not too long after Sakura's confession to Yukito and so everything that Yukito said to Sakura during that conversation really did happen. In other words, this WILL have a happy ending. It just might take me a while to get there ::sweatdrop:: Thanks for reading so far!
I should have the next part out soon!
Bonus points for anyone who can identify the source of the title. Maybe I'll tell you at the end ^_^
Author: samuraiheart
Email: [email protected]
Pairing: Touya/Yukito
Warnings: shounen-ai, m/m
SPOILERS for all of the manga
Archive: Clamp Fan Fiction Archive - yes, others ask
Summary: Touya and Yukito find that love isn't easy - especially between friends
Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura belongs to Clamp - not me.
Chapter One: The Best Laid Plans
"Ne, Yuki, do you want to go get a snack or something?" Touya asked hesitantly. He was more nervous than he cared to admit. Today was the day he had decided to finally confess his feelings for Yukito.
Yukito grinned at the suggestion, warm brown eyes brightening into an almost rapturous gaze. "Hai, To-ya, that would be great! I know a great coffee shop near the library!"
Touya let out a soft sigh of relief. At least that part was over with - not that he had really expected Yukito to say no. He couldn't even remember the last time his friend had turned down food of any kind.
The two friends walked silently in the direction of the coffee shop. That in itself was not unusual since Touya was not generally a talkative person, but this silence was not the comfortable quiet that often settled over the two friends. This silence was taut with nervousness and hesitation. It stretched in the space between them like a string pulled just a bit too far.
Touya trudged on at Yukito's side, as the light-haired young man seemed to skip along completely oblivious to Touya's apprehension.
Touya shook his head slightly at the site and his lips curved upwards in a ghost of a smile. It was just one of the many things he loved about Yukito. He only hoped his friend would return his feelings. He could never really tell how Yukito felt about him. He felt sure that there was something more than friendship between the two of them, but he wasn't certain that Yukito would name it love.
Touya had come to his own conclusion after many sleepless nights and shy glances in Yukito's direction during study sessions. He had no doubt that this feeling was called love and he wanted nothing more than to wrap Yukito in his arms and announce his devotion with a long, slow kiss in front of the whole town, but he knew that probably wasn't the best idea.
Instead he had decided that he would take his friend out for a snack after school and break the news to him sometime between bites of a sugary confection of his choosing preferably somewhere quiet and secluded.
He had tried not to think about what would happen if Yukito said no in the hopes that if he never considered it then it wouldn't even be an option, but at least this plan would allow him to escape without causing too much of a commotion if such action became necessary. It would also give him the opportunity for that kiss if things went well.
Touya felt his cheeks burn at the thought and he nearly missed the door to the coffee shop as Yukito shot him a confused look and gestured to the glass door with a cheerful sign welcoming customers to "Stop in and try our muffins."
"Come on, To-ya. It's right here."
"Right." Touya answered nodding at his friend and holding the door open as Yukito stepped inside and grinned at the woman behind the counter as if they were old friends. Touya started to wonder how many times Yukito had visited this particular coffee shop, but waved the thought aside as Yukito placed his order.
"Do you want anything, To-ya?" Yukito asked innocently after ordering enough sweets for half a dozen people at least.
"No thanks." Touya answered shaking his head. Yukito shrugged his shoulders and turned back towards the counter to wait for his food.
Touya couldn't seem to catch his breath. He was definitely more nervous than he thought he would be. He clenched and unclenched his hands at his sides several times and tried to take slow even breaths in an attempt to calm himself. The nervousness made itself known in the form of butterflies dancing in his stomach adding to his general feeling of uneasiness. He was sure that he looked a mess, but he decided that he didn't care. Soon this would all be over and then he could deal with the consequences. Waiting was the worst part and he felt fairly sure that even rejection couldn't possibly feel any worse than this constant feeling of uncertainty.
Touya swallowed thickly at the prospect of rejection. No matter what he told himself he knew that that would be a heavy blow. He tried not to think about such things as Yukito thanked the cashier and picked up a large paper sack full of pastries and turned towards Touya with a wide grin gracing his lips.
"Okay, Touya, where do you want to eat?" Yukito asked cheerfully taking a bite of a frosted piece of cake.
Touya blinked back at his friend and suddenly found it very difficult to put two words together let alone form a coherent thought. "Ano…"
"To-ya?" Yukito asked once more this time his voice was laced with concern and he raised one eyebrow in confusion.
"Outside." Touya answered decisively.
Yukito nodded at the sentiment and followed Touya out the door and down the sidewalk towards a tree lined section of the nearby park. It was spring and the cherry blossoms were just beginning to bloom. Small pink buds dotted the dark branches of several trees and rustled softly in the cool breeze sweeping across them. Sunlight streamed across the landscape highlighting brilliant colors of the setting and casting contrasting shadows across the pavement before them.
They found an empty park bench and sat down together. Yukito continued nibbling at his desserts while Touya sat quietly examining his hands folded in his lap and trying to think of a good way to open the conversation.
"To-ya, is everything okay?" Yukito turned towards his friend with a worried expression on his face. His eyes were wide with uncertainty as he peered at Touya's slumped shoulders and fidgeting hands.
"Yeah." Touya answered in a voice just above a whisper. He lifted his gaze meeting Yukito's troubled expression with solemn blue eyes shimmering with emotion. He bit his lip and swallowed resolutely, deciding that it would be best if he just came right out and said it. He couldn't avoid the subject any longer. "Yuki, there's something I have to tell you."
Touya's voice was hushed and wavered slightly as he shifted his gaze away from Yukito's eyes and focused on a spot just over his shoulder. Yukito's bag of sweets sat forgotten by his side as he leaned closer waiting to hear whatever it was that was making Touya so nervous.
Touya glanced down at his hands and let the words spill from his lips in quick succession before he could reconsider. "I love you."
The sincere words seemed to echo in the space between them as Yukito's eyes widened and his lips parted slightly as if to respond. He closed them just as quickly and stared back at his friend in silence.
The world around them seemed to fade from existence as Touya gained a little more confidence and continued. "I care about you very much, Yuki. I always have. I would do anything for you and I need you more than you will ever know. I love you." Touya shrugged at the last words and turned towards Yukito with a hint of a smile on his face. He froze at the look Yukito gave him. His friend stared back at him with an expression somewhere between surprise and alarm. Yukito's wide brown eyes flickered with disbelief and he sat with both shoulders leaning away from his friend as if he wanted to get away as quickly as possible.
Touya's smile faded as Yukito looked down at the gap on the bench between them and frowned. He strained to hear Yukito's words amidst the oppressive silence that seemed to have settled over the pair, nerves stretched to the breaking point and his heart still beating quickly in his chest.
"I'm sorry, To-ya." Yukito couldn't bring himself to look up at his friend as he spoke the words. "I don't feel the same way."
Yukito turned to retrieve his coffee shop purchases as he stood up and walked quickly away from the dark-haired young man still sitting on the park bench trying to desperately to understand what had just taken place.
Touya watched Yukito until he disappeared around the corner and then his shoulders slumped dejectedly and he closed his eyes in an effort to push away the ache in his chest as Yukito's words repeated over and over in his head. He took in a slow shuddering breath and brought both hands up to cover his eyes as he buried his head in them and tried to suppress the feelings of panic and despair swimming within his soul. He had never planned on this. He wasn't sure why, but he had been almost certain that Yukito would return his affections. He never expected to be turned down and he was completely unprepared for the consequences. He bent his head in shame and sorrow as sobs bubbled up in his throat and escaped through barely parted lips. Tears lingered at the edges of his gaze and gathered on dark lashes as he wiped them away before they could fall down his pale cheeks.
He felt as if his world had shattered in the space of a few moments. He had no idea what to do next and dreaded the thought of days and weeks passing as he struggled to overcome this horrible sense of loneliness. He never thought he would feel this way again after he had found Yukito. His friend had brought warmth and comfort into his life like he had never known before and now it was gone. It was over and he had ruined it all with just a few simple words on a sunny afternoon.
TBC
Notes: This takes place some time not too long after Sakura's confession to Yukito and so everything that Yukito said to Sakura during that conversation really did happen. In other words, this WILL have a happy ending. It just might take me a while to get there ::sweatdrop:: Thanks for reading so far!
I should have the next part out soon!
Bonus points for anyone who can identify the source of the title. Maybe I'll tell you at the end ^_^