What Happened…

Hello readers, this is Grimankin, and no this is not an actual new chapter of the story, but more like an update on what happened and may happen in the future.

As you might have noticed I haven't updated the story in about 3-4 years? Jesus Christ has it really been that long?! I know my last attempt at a story was in 2013, but I honestly don't feel like that much time really passed. And here I am, writing this. Call me an asshole – because I deserved to be called such after promising a good story and then going to abandon it without as much as a word of explanation.

So here I am to explain to reasons behind what happened and tell you readers of a… let's call it a possibility for now.

The reason I stopped writing this is three-fold:

One – my Muse for the story was simply gone. As it turned out I am a very inspiration-dependent writer, and without inspiration and desire to write something, I simply cannot do it. If I try and force myself to write I can only manage a small amount and it takes forever to think of something good. I started this story because I had a bunch of great ideas and at the time had read an another crossover with Bleach that I came to like a lot – so yeah I was inspired by a fellow author.

But as time passed I slowly lost my Muse, and without it I could not write much more of Hollow to Vampire.

Two – my previously mentioned Muse is crazy as shit. By that I mean that it just bounces from story and story, giving me a never-ending flow of story ideas and inspiration that make me start writing a new story…. Only to leave after 1 or 2 goddamn chapters are done. It's like a tease that says: "Yeah, write this, it's gonna be awesome" and after I do it it's like: "Nah, boooring, let's do something new – it'll be awesome!" and I am left with no choice but to follow like a lost puppy that has no idea what's next.

I have a shit-ton of stories I had started and not finished: Highschool DxD, Code Geass, Evangelion, Claymore, Fairy Tail, Fate/Stay Night/Zero, Hellsing, Sekirei, Naruto, RWBY, Familiar of Zero, Hataraku Maou-sama, Highschool of the Dead, Persona, other Bleach stories and lots of crossovers and some stuff that had already been posted on my stories.

I had an idea to put all of that somewhere like story idea compilations, but only a few of those are crossovers, and I didn't… and don't want to clog up my page with dozens of unfinished stories as a tease for other readers, who would end up wanting more and I wouldn't be able to write that, letting them down in the process.

Three – most of the time spent of FF thereafter was me reading what other people had written. And boy did it take up my time like crazy. I do not regret having read that much, because it helped me grow as a reader, and hopefully as an author myself. 90% of the stories I had liked made it on my Favs list – some stories had potential, others were an engaging read, and some were masterpieces beyond my imagination.

When I started Hollow to Vampire I had been a pretty fresh member on FanFiction. So looking back on the story now makes me cringe in some places. I did try to get back into the groove the previous years, somewhere along summer and re-read this story, only to realize that I have become dissatisfied with it. I decided to look at it with a critical eye and be honest with myself.

Some scenes were made for the sake of showing off, like the one with the thugs going after Ulquiorra in chapter 1. I think it was established in R+V that at the time Saizou was a loner, but I had to make some underling for Ulq to thrash around for the sake of it, which looking back at it now, wasn't written poorly, but still served no actual purpose.

My greatest gripe with this story, however, was the fact that Ulquiorra was there just along for the ride. It was like he was the 5th wheel in a carriage, just there for some unknown reason. As much as I tried to focus on him – it just doesn't feel like it's his story. It's still a story about others, but with his input on it – not at all what I wanted to do, I later realized.

So… here are my reasons and explanation. And here I will say this! I may continue this story, but it will be an actual rewrite rather than just going where I left off. Even though I did write most of chapter 5, it's still not what I had initially wanted.

As I said – it's just a possibility! I will not go on to promise anything and then be a bigger asshole and let people down again, I'm being honest here. I will try my best, and it's easier because some scenes will be left intact – the ones that still hold up in my mind. If the rewrite happens, it's most certainly going to be a better story, with more things in it.

And thank you dear readers for your thoughts, input and reviews – both good and bad, lol. I have been reading all of them as they were posted(feeling like a piece of shit in the process). Every little bit helps, no matter what anyone says… thought I still appreciate constructive criticism above all. Anyway – I will try and sit down to rewrite the story right after I am finished with this update, but I make no definite promises. If all goes well I might have a chap or two by the end of the next week. I may only hope…

And with that – Grimankin Out. And thank you once again.