Konoha was eerily quiet and calm. There were no residual explosions, clean-up, or other calamities caused by Taco-related insanity. There was nary a Naruto shadow clone completing the "Honey-do" list Hinata had given him. There were two people who were thrilled by the silence.

Neji Hyūga groaned as a hateful beam of light slipped between a gap in the curtains. He rolled over in attempt to get away from the evil sunlight. The splitting headache made wondering why he was in a western-style bed unpleasant.

"W-Wha?" Neji asked into a very bare chest. The gentle rise and fall of his… associate… was very soothing. He also recognized a scar right below the curve of a breast. Strangely, he wasn't as freaked out as he thought he would be at this incident. Neji, honestly, felt contented.

A tap on his head drew him out of his thoughts. ~Don't speak,~ Tenten sighed.

~I know just what you're saying,~ Neji signed back. ~How much did we drink?~

~Not as much as you would think. We are either lightweights or that tequila stuff is stronger than we thought,~ Tenten explained.

~Probably both. I have never indulged like this before,~ Neji convinced himself. The use of battle sign langugage came naturally. It also was silent. Which, given the hangover, was a beautiful thing.

~So...will you indulge again?~

Neji quirked an eyebrow…which was odd because he was resting his head on Tenten's breasts. Which were even better when not covered, now that he thought about it.

~Maybe not with tequila. There is only two questions I have about last night.~

Tenten started playing with Neji's hair. That was a signal to keep going, but the Hyūga prodigy kinda got distracted by how good it felt and almost dozed off.

"Neji," Tenten whispered.

"Ack! Not so loud!" Neji responded.

"You really are a lightweight!" Tenten giggled.

"I get the fondue. Chocolate is great, but is there a reason we have a hammock?"

Tenten shrugged. "I'm not sure I remember why we got it, but we did make inventive use of it last night..."

Neji pulled himself up so that he could look Tenten in the eyes. "After some breakfast…and something for this headache...how about reminding me exactly how we used it?"

"Oh, that is a great idea..." Tenten agreed.

Naruto sighed as he welcomed Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, Haku, and Chouji into his apartment. He felt this whole thing was kind of ridiculous, but what could he do? They were his friends and he couldn't say no.

"Thank you, Naruto," Sakura said with a bow. She quickly took a seat on Haku, who had sat down on Naruto's least favorite recliner.

"You're welcome," Naruto responded. He was a bit distracted by the fact that anyone would actually like that recliner. It clashed with the rest of the room and he had gotten it after counter-pranking some punk for one of his neighbors.

"Naruto, we need to talk about Sasuke," Ino said bluntly.

The hanyou nodded. "But only if we can talk about the guy outside my window holding up the "You are pretty!" sign. Dude is starting to creep me out. That's the third sign he's held up since you got here."

"Oh!" Ino cooed. "That's my new boyfriend Sai. It's his turn to stalk today. I'll be stalking him tomorrow. Isn't he the most romantic guy ever?"

"Sure, yeah, that," Chouji 'agreed'.

Shikamaru cleared his throat. "We do need to talk about Sasuke."

"What's up?" Naruto asked.

Sakura took a deep breath. "Naruto, you are his best friend. If anyone can save him, it's you."

"Save him? Huh?" Naruto was completely dumbfounded. Sasuke didn't need saving. Maybe from all the work he was doing with his animal welfare society, training, and general ninja stuff.

"He's starting a cult," Chouji mentioned off-hand.

"A cult?" Naruto asked, unsure if he had heard his buddy correctly.

"Yes! A cult! He was handing out pamphlets and standing in front of banners during the Taco Festival!" Sakura cried out.

"That…sounds pretty serious," Naruto agreed. "In fact, I'm… going to talk to him now."

"Thank you Naruto!" Everyone said in unison. Naruto nodded and hoped no one would notice how fast his tails were swishing. It was getting hard to breathe as he held his breath down the stairs of his apartment complex. Once he was certain he was far enough away, Naruto gave in.

He hadn't laughed this much since his last great prank.

"Sasuke? A cult?!" That was as crazy as some blind guy living on the moon!

Meanwhile, some blind guy on the moon sneezed while using arcane means to wistfully sigh as he stalked...OBSERVED Hinata Hyūga.

Sasuke had finished his 5 am training, his three hours of volunteering at Konoha's animal shelter, and had gotten some chores done around the Uchiha complex. Today had been a very productive and successful day. He didn't often feel as if he was making progress in pursuit of That Man. Today? Today Sasuke almost felt as though he could drop the capital letters and italics that he put around his target's nickname.

"I wonder what Naruto is doing?" Sasuke thought out loud.

The universe decided to answer Sasuke's question with the boisterous laughter filling the streets. Naruto often laughed. However, the intensity of the laughter was unusual. Sasuke's first clue that Naruto was nearby was the wildly thrashing tails whipping around the corner. Curious, Sasuke decided to meet him halfway.

"S-Sasuke," Naruto could barely complete the word through the wild fits of laughter. "Y-"

"I can't understand you if you don't stop laughing, dobe," Sasuke joked.

Naruto put his hands on his knees and tried to catch his breath. Sasuke spent roughly three minutes trying to dodge Naruto's tails. It became an impromptu Sharingan training session. There was no way Sasuke would be hit with one of his friend's tails! He had seen the damn things crack concrete with a hit. The absolute last thing Sasuke needed was to be in the hospital with a concussion.

"Okay, Sasuke… This is officially an intervention," Naruto responded with a grin.

"An intervention?"

Naruto nodded. "You know how you've been working with KSPAC?"

"It is vitally important work!" Sasuke shouted.

"Team 10, Sakura-chan and Haku think you've started a cult," Naruto stated bluntly.

Sasuke stared in sheer disbelief. His mind slowly ground to a halt as the words echoed in his mind.

Then, he went full Naruto.

The "Last Uchiha" threw his head back and laughed a wild-open mouth laugh. Naturally, Sasuke's uproarious guffaws sent Naruto in a brand new fit of hysterical laughter.

Which continued for several minutes. Passerbys scurried away from the localized insanity. The two young men didn't notice their surroundings.

"Naruto, would you like some kool-aid?" Sasuke asked.

"Will I get a spiffy uniform?" Naruto asked.

That was the only words the two managed to force out for a while. Eventually, they calmed down.

"A cult? Really?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto nodded enthusiastically. "Yup! Guess our friends didn't recognize the banners of the charity. I think the pamphlets didn't help the image."

"I guess not," Sasuke admitted with a shrug. "They expect you to 'defeat' me somehow."

"Probably," Naruto confessed.

"Want to go shoot pool?" Sasuke suggested.

Naruto grinned. "You're going down."

"We shall see dead last," Sasuke taunted.

"War! You have declared war, sir!" The Hanyou announced theatrically.

Hey, if his friends expected a crazy story, Naruto Uzumaki would give them a crazy story.

Hiashi Hyūga was concerned. The Elders of the clan were in a very good mood. They were walking around the clan compound with a spring in their step. Hiashi had even seen two of them exchange high-fives. Something was very wrong here.

So, he did the obvious thing.

He called a meeting.

It was a huge surprise when the Elders showed up on time. With smiles. Truly, this was one of the most bizarre experiences of Hiashi's life.

"Is there something you require, Hiashi-sama?"

The Hyūga Clan's head blinked at his usually antagonistic cousin Yoshinori in complete shock. "Yes. I want to know what has you all in such a good mood. Not even the Shodai's Tacos brought such joy."

"We have prevented the looming crisis of a cadet branch uprising! We removed their likely figurehead: your nephew!"

Hiashi was across the room in a flash. His Byakugan was active and he had lifted Yoshinori out of the chair by the edge of his haori. "If you have harmed Neji in any way, I will kill you."

"Neji is fine! We haven't harmed him! All we did was help his kunoichi teammate hook up with him! They have been at her apartment all day!" Yoshinori hurriedly explained.

"You...got Neji laid?" Hiashi stammered.

Another elder quickly stepped in. "We have observed that he has been very mellow today! He even said hello to Hinata-sama and kept walking!"

"Wait, just hello?" Hiashi asked as he dropped Yoshinori. Everyone just nodded. Dumbfounded, Hiashi could only ask about Neji's uncharacteristic lack of focus on making Hinata miserable, "How much sex did those two have?"

Hinata was in a great mood. Neji-nii-san had said hello to her without following it up with a veiled, mean-spirited comment. He had his arm wrapped around Tenten-san's waist as they entered a chocolate shop. She was curious as to when that had happened. The Hyūga heiress was confident she could find out from some of her gossiping clan members.

'That will be nice,' Hinata thought as she wandered the streets of Konoha. She wasn't sure where she was heading, but odds are she would wind up wherever Naruto happened to be.

"You may have won this time, Naruto, but I will never surrender!" Sasuke declared. Hinata scoffed at the voice of her least favorite person.

"Have I 'beaten' enough sense into you to stop your fiendish cult plot?" Naruto laughed. Hinata peered around the corner, forgetting that it was easier to just activate her Byakugan. Naruto and Sasuke were laughing about something. Naruto was flipping and tossing a pool cue between his arms and tails. Hinata's boyfriend had his ears twitching in that adorable, "Something is funny" way.

"Tell Team 10, Sakura, and Haku that I am losing my religion," Sasuke answered with a smirk.

"I'm trying to keep up with you and I don't know if I can do it," Naruto joked.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Sasuke finished and walked off with a wave.

Naruto waved back before whirling around. "Hinata-chan!"

"Eep!" Hinata feel backwards in shock. "How did you know I was there?"

The presence of Kushina and Minato in Naruto's head stirred. They were curious as to how their son would answer.

"Easy! You smell good and I smell good," Naruto explained.

"Unconventional, but not bad," Kushina told her child.

"Hey, Hinata-chan… want to go get lunch?"

"YES!" Hinata answered with the enthusiasm of a thousand Rock Lees learning a new taijutsu stance.

The next day, Teams 7, 8, and 10 were called to meet with their senseis at the Academy. Shockingly, Kakashi was on time. Having Kushina dictate a note of encouragement put the fear of god into the Copy-Nin. He showed up on time.

And didn't read his porn.

Truly, wonders occur every day.

"I'm going to cut to the chase," Asuma declared. "You are all way to powerful to be Genin. There's a Chuunin Exam in a few months. We've signed you up."

Kurenai, trying to be a voice of reason, stepped forward. "But only if you all believe you are ready."

Team Seven, including Haku, leaned in and whispered among themselves. Except Naruto. He was talking in a very loud voice. His friends all overheard his excited babbling, including a series of 'greatest hits'.

"We're totally in, right?"

"You're right, Haku!"

"Well, duh, you're going to steal every jutsu your Sharingan sees! Why wouldn't you?"

Ino leaned towards her 'kinda brothers'. "See, Sasuke's an evil mastermind!"

"At least he's not trying to start a cult anymore," Shikamaru softened the horrible realization.

"We're going to need Naruto more than ever..." Chouji agreed solemnly.

"Team Seven is in!" Naruto declared.

"Like we're going to be left behind!" Kiba shouted.

"I don't want to risk being arrested for fraternization!" Hinata announced in support of her teammate. "Team 8 will sign up."

"Troublesome, but I guess we're in too?" Shikamaru groaned.

"Yup!" Ino and Chouji responded.

Kakashi sighed. "Well, that was easy. Who wants sushi?"

Author's Note: ZOMG, an update! This was actually written over the course of a few hours on my birthday this Sunday. I've just been buried under work so I haven't been able to post it. Hope y'all enjoyed it!

Thanks to NaruHinaRyu and Chewie Cookies for looking this chapter over!