A/N Well guys, this is it D: All your reviews have made me so, so, so happy and so determined to keep writing, whether it's a Frerard or not. I really appreciate you all for taking the time to read every chapter and letting me know what you think of it. I'm getting all emotional and I don't know why xD I hope this chapter makes up for any of the shitty or short chapters because this one is LONG. Again, thank you so much for reading, you're all amazing and I love you :3 For the last time, please review and let me know what you think :) And follow me on twitter EleanorMCRdeRoy – let me know you read this and I'll follow you back :3 SO MUCH LOVE.
L / Blue
Xo
Chapter 24 – I mean this, forever.
We arrived at the train station fifteen minutes early, so we had enough time to draw some money out at a cash point to keep us going. Leaving the house was a lot more easy than I'd anticipated, Mom and Dad had been invited into the neighbors house for coffee, so they could 'get to know one another'. Mikey and I had also been invited but, understandably, we both politely declined, providing suitable excuses. As soon as we believed the coast was clear, we sprinted out of the house and didn't stop until we knew we were out of sight of the house.
The whole fifteen minutes we were waiting for the train, Mikey was practically bouncing up and down on the spot with excitement and nerves. I couldn't look at him because every time I did a laugh would escape my lips, although, he looked exactly how I felt. Eventually the train rolled up onto our platform and we jumped onto the train. I always felt really anxious when getting on trains, I always got these little visions of my friend getting on the train and just as I get to the doors, they would slam shut in front of me and I'd be stuck at the station. I'd then attempt to text the person who had managed to get the train asking them where I should meet them, but the text would refuse to send due to poor signal. I suppose I was a little paranoid seeing as it never actually happened, but the thought would always cross my mind.
I sat down in the blue and yellow striped seat next to the window and watched as the world blurred past in a mixture of green, blue and white. The train was unusually quiet, with people scattered about the carriage, listening to their iPods or reading the newspaper. Next to me, Mikey's watch kept reflecting light into my eyes, glowing from the afternoon sun, every time he turned the page in his book.
I couldn't really read on the train, I couldn't look down for any period of time when travelling as I'd start to get this sickly feeling. I'd had it ever since I was a child and I envied those people that could sit in the car and read for hours, where I was stuck doing nothing but staring out the window and even sometimes that would make me feel sick. So instead of reading on the train, I just put my headphones in and tapped my foot along to Astro Zombies by The Misfits. If I ever became a musician, I'd cover Astro Zombies, it'd always been one of my favourite songs by The Misfits and I felt like I should play homage to them as whenever I was down I would listen to them and slowly but surely they'd begin to cheer me up.
I was bought back to the present when my phone vibrated in my pocket, I quickly pulled it out and groaned when I saw that my Mom had texted me three times, each text sounding more worried than the last.
'Where are you and Mikey? Xx' I read the text before holding my phone up for Mikey to see. When he'd finished reading it, I opened the next text.
'Gerard, we got your note. Come home so we can discuss it. Dinner's at six. X' Again I read the text and then showed it to Mikey, who bit his lip worriedly in reply.
'Gerard. You and Michael better be home in an hour or you're grounded. Get home. Now.'
When I showed Mikey the last text I saw the panic in his eyes, I saw the internal debate with himself through the movement of his hands, twirling his fingers around and tapping his foot nervously. The texts from my Mom were not going to stop me though.
"Mikey. We've gotten this far. I'm not turning back now" I stated, looking him straight in the eye and hoping that I provided some sort of reassurance.
"We'll be grounded for life" Mikey smiled, I knew he was trying to make things more light hearted but I could still see that he was deliberating on what to do.
"Maybe, but at least we'll get to see Frank and Alicia first" With those words Mikey seemed to calm down and stopped fidgeting so much. I felt like I couldn't just leave it there, Mikey needed to talk and hell, I'd talk as much as humanly possible if it kept him from freaking out.
"Have you texted Alicia to tell her?" I asked, wondering if he wanted it to be a surprise for her like I did for Frank.
"No, not yet. Do you think I should?" He replied, looking down nervously at his phone.
"It's up to you. I'm not telling Frank, but I did text him last night" As I spoke, I quickly replied to the text my Mom had sent, stating that me and Mikey were not going to be returning back to that house and that we were going back to Belleville and were going to stay there as long as we could. I didn't want to argue with my parents and so I tried to be as polite as possible.
"What did you say? Did he reply?" Mikey asked, snapping me back to conversation. I placed phone on the little table between us and tried to hide the stab of pain I felt when Mikey had asked if Frank had replied to me.
"I said I was going to fight for us, but no, he didn't reply" The last part of my sentence caught in my throat and I tried to disguise it as a cough, but Mikey saw right through me, it was stupid of me to think I could hide my true feelings from my brother. He'd always been able to tell how I was really feeling, even better than I knew myself.
"Oh. Well you know what his Grandparents are like; they practically lock him away from technology the second he steps through their door. I'm sure he'll reply as soon as he gets his phone back" Mikey said cheerily, attempting to cheer me up.
"Yea, I'm sure he will" I tried to sound optimistic but it just seemed to come out as hopelessly as I felt. Before I had time to start moaning further, Mikey opened his bag up and pulled out two baguettes filled with what looked like ham and cheese and handed me one, smiling brightly.
"I thought we might get hungry" He shrugged. I couldn't help but smile, he really was so similar to our Mom with her obsessive organization it was unreal. But I was extremely grateful to Mikey as, as soon as I took the first bite out of the baguette I realized just how hungry I was.
When we finished eating, we started sharing childhood memories; it was so nice to just talk to Mikey again. I mean, we'd had a few catch-up's since Frank and I had gotten together but none as long as this. It seemed like we talked for hours, from when the sun was still high in the sky right until it disappeared behind the hills we were passing.
Mikey seemed to had fallen asleep exceptionally quickly, he literally put his head back for about a second before his breathing changed and slipped into sleep mode. I could never really sleep that quickly, I always thought before I fell asleep, I'd think about what had happened that day and play out scenarios in my mind, time would always tick by faster when I was just lying in bed thinking. But on the train, I kept thinking about Frank. What if he didn't want me to go back to him? I mean, he had hung up on me. You don't hang up on someone that you still like, do you?
Eventually I convinced myself to stop worrying and had to count backwards from 100 to help me calm down, I got to 64 before I fell asleep.
When I woke, it was still dark out, but the train had come to a halt and Mikey was stood over me, picking his bag up and throwing it onto his back.
"We're home Gee!" Mikey squealed happily. I didn't know the exact time, but I knew it was far too early for him to be so excitable.
"Yaaaay" I spoke monotonously, with a hint of sarcasm in my voice. Although, I was unbelievably happy that we were back in New Jersey, I just couldn't quite show it yet.
"Now get your fat ass up off that seat and go find Frank" And with that, Mikey span on the heel of his foot and jumped off the train. Groggily I followed him, muttering how un-fat I was under my breath.
The big black clock on the side of the station stated that it was five in the morning and so we must've got roughly about six hours sleep that night. I was surprised I hadn't woken in the middle of the night, normally I can't sleep too well when travelling but I seemed to have had a rather good night sleep.
"It's far too early" I groaned as Mikey lead us through the barriers of New Jersey station out towards the familiar main road that we could walk straight along for half an hour before we'd reach the turning towards our road.
"I'm gonna smell when I see Frank" I moaned breathing in the fresh morning air.
"Shut up your moaning Gee!" Mikey laughed, nudging me in the back to force me to start walking.
"Can't you be positive?"
"Positive about what? Smelling when I confess my love to my boyfriend? That's not really something to be positive about?" I was not a morning person and I was proving that to Mikey with each word that slurred out of my mouth.
"Actually, positive because you have the best brother in the world" Mikey beamed, skipping ahead of me and walking backwards so I could see the huge mischievous smile spread across his face.
"Oh God, what've you done?" I stopped in my tracks, refusing to move until Mikey told me exactly why he was looking so proud of himself.
"I may have texted, well, woken Ray up and begged him to use his facilities. So no, you won't smell. You're a-welcome" Mikey dragged out the last word just to dig it in that I hadn't thought of doing anything like that.
"Thanks Mikey" I mumbled, not wanting to give him any more reason to brag than he already had. I glanced around the dark morning, looking up towards the stars that still glistened in the sky and I was pulled back into the past. When I'd fist spent time with Frank, the same night I'd idiotically put my head in a pizza box. I smiled at the memory and suddenly my irritable mood had disintegrated and instead been filled with hope.
We arrived at Ray's at exactly five thirty-four, he'd left the key under the outside mat so that we could just sneak in quietly, drop our stuff off in his 'den', use his downstairs shower and then go our separate ways. Ray had also apparently said to Mikey we could stay at his until we figured out what we were going to do, whether Ray's parents knew we'd run away from home or not was another story. It felt so good to be back home, not necessarily the home where we'd grown up, but in the same area, surrounded by familiarities, like Ray's house. I'm not sure why I'd expected it to look different, but I just didn't think things would be the same. But they were, everything was in the exact same place where they'd always been.
I showered first while Mikey sat in the den and watched crappy kids TV. I quickly washed myself and then started on my hair, laughing when I read that the shampoo was 'specially designed to de-frizz even the most uncontrollable hair', Ray's hair was extremely uncontrollable and clearly the shampoo wasn't helping at all. But even so, it smelt like cherries and I felt a lot cleaner when I stepped out of the shower.
I hate stepping out of showers into the bathroom, the room always seems to have dropped in temperature and it feels like you're walking into a fridge. Luckily there was a big lilac towel hanging on a radiator next to the shower so I didn't have to stand in the cold for too long. I slipped my favourite black skinnies and black shirt onto my newly cleaned body, before I tied my red tie around my neck and slipped my studded belt through the loops in my jeans.
I stepped out of the bathroom to see Mikey standing in the doorway, the sight of him almost made me jump out of my skin but luckily for us I didn't scream. The last thing we needed was to wake the whole house up.
"Good luck" Mikey smiled, before embracing me in a massive bear hug.
"Thanks, you too" I beamed back, I'd never felt so determined in my life.
"I'm going to sleep for a bit before I go and see Alicia, I don't think she'd appreciate being woken up" Mikey whispered quietly and all I could do was nod in response, it's not that I didn't care about what Mikes was saying, it was just that I was desperate to go and see Frank. As if I'd said the words out loud, Mikey nodded at me in permission for me to go, I wasted no time in flinging myself out the front door and I couldn't help myself from sprinting down the road.
I ran through West Hudson park, not even worrying about how dangerous it gets there, especially late at night or the early hours of the morning, I whizzed past school where Frank and I had spent day after day with each other, I quickly passed Lyn-Z's house where I'd truly realized I'd fallen for Frank and I sprinted past the shops where Frank had said to me I could run away with him, whenever I wanted.
Eventually I rounded the corner towards Frank's house; I ran straight up to the door and paused. I hadn't thought this part through, I couldn't exactly start banging on the door, I'd need to respect his neighbors and I couldn't be all romantic and throw stones at Frank's window because his room wasn't at the front of the house. And then it hit me. What if Frank wasn't even home yet?
He hadn't texted me, to say he was on his way home, but would he text me anyway?
I quickly did some calculations in my mind.
Today was Monday.
Monday was Halloween.
It was Frank's birthday.
I rested my head against the cool wood of Frank's door. I'd just wait there until I head movement inside, then I'd knock on the door and tell Frank how much he meant to me. The sun was only beginning to rise and so oranges and purples swirled around in the beautiful early morning sky. As I glanced down towards my feet, I noticed the amount of post inside of the house. Including my parcel, Frank couldn't be home yet. I'd just have to wait for him to arrive.
"Gerard?" A voice called behind me. I spun round quickly to see who had called my name. My heart began to beat faster than humanly possible as I took in every inch of who was standing in front of me.
Frank was standing in front of his car, next to his Mom who was holding a huge bag. I couldn't help the tears that began to form in my eyes and I couldn't stop myself from running to Frank and enveloping him in my arms. I was so wrapped up in seeing Frank that I forgot he might not be so happy to see me as I was to see him, but I didn't care and relief flooded over me when I felt Frank wrap his arms around me just as tightly as mine were around him.
"I'll go take this inside" Frank's Mom said more to herself than Frank and I as she slipped inside the house.
The water that had formed in my eyes started pouring down my cheeks in bittersweet waterfalls of tears. I pulled out of the embrace and cupped Frank's face in my hands so I could look him directly in the eye.
"Frank. I love you. I love you more than I could ever love anyone. I could never leave you, I could never move away. You mean the world to me." I said the words quickly tripping over them so that some of them slurred into one another.
"I love you too Gerard" Frank whispered and I saw in his eyes, the same tears that had formed in mine. I pulled his face close to mine so that our lips crushed against each other. I forgot how amazing it felt to kiss him, I forgot how beautiful it felt to hold him, to run my hands through his hair, to just be with him.
Frank broke the kiss by taking my hand and pulling me through the door to his house and up towards his bedroom. We passed his Mom on the way in, who watched us stumble up the stairs and merely smiled.
As soon as we reached his room, Frank shut the door quietly behind himself.
"I love you Gerard. I love you" Frank whispered quietly, drawing my lips back to his. This kiss started more gentle than the last, until our tongues met. I ran my fingers through his hair, consequently pulling his head closer to mine and so our lips opened and parted in a wet passion. We seemed to fall messily onto the bed where Frank proceeded to pin me down. He ripped my black shirt off of my body and threw it carelessly over his head. He then moved onto his own shirt, unbuttoning it in a painfully slow, teasing fashion. When he'd eventually finished, his shirt joined mine on the floor. He began nibbling on my neck, instantly causing me to let out an embarrassingly loud moan but instead of Frank laughing as I'd expected him too, he moaned into my neck forcing me to become even more turned on.
I was so hypnotized with the magic Frank was doing to my neck that I almost jumped when suddenly Frank began running his fingers lightly up and down my chest. My hands moved down from his hair, slowly copying Frank's movements they began to run up and down his back at the same speed Frank was running his fingers delicately across my chest.
The pressure he applied with his fingers began increasing and making their way further towards my crotch each time, causing me to groan with impatience and pleasure and forcing Frank to remove his lips from my neck and lift himself off my chest to wink at me. My neck felt extremely sensitive from the area Frank had been working on, and I knew that I'd been left with a patch of purple skin.
Before Frank had time to tease me further I lifted my leg and wrapped it around his waist so we had switched places. I moved my hand at an excruciatingly slow speed down Frank's chest, when I reached the edge of his pants, I moved my body so that I could quickly unzip them and pull them off of him, leaving him in just his boxers. I smirked at the bulge in his underwear and brushed my hand extremely slowly over his hardened member. His eyes rolled back and his toes curled in as he grabbed fistfuls of my hair and pulling me back towards his lips catching my breath in my throat. I swiftly pulled back and hurriedly pulled off my own jeans, while Frank fumbled in his drawer, pulled out a small square package and flicked it at me.
I'd never had sex with a guy before and so saying I was nervous, was an understatement. But still, I grabbed the condom and placed it on the side of the bed. Gradually I began slipping Frank's boxers off, leaving him exposed to the cool air. I placed my lips against his once more, kissing ferociously before I pulled away and kissed all along his jaw line, down his neck and proceeded to kiss down his chest, stopping just before his crotch. I teasingly ran a finger along the length of his dick, I did this twice before I decided to make things more interesting and replace my finger with my tongue.
Frank's groans were coming thick and fast by this point and that was enough for me, I tore open the condom and placed it over my own hard-on. I'd read about gay marriage and gay sex before and so I knew you had to 'prepare' your partner before, but I was so conscious of hurting Frank that I went so slowly, we must have been in the room for hours.
I looked him in the eye, as if asking for permission, but he had his eyes shut tightly as if he knew what was about to happen.
I moved one finger into him slowly, curving it around so that Frank could get used to the feel of it, he seemed to become accustomed to it rather quickly and so I added a second finger. His breath caught in his throat and his eyes closed even tighter.
"Sorry" I whispered, pausing, unsure whether to continue.
"Carry on" Frank replied, through gritted teeth.
I did as I was told and so continued to move the two fingers in and out of Frank, I then began to scissor them apart, and I'd been doing that for what felt like five minutes when Frank moaned in pleasure. I pulled my fingers out with no hesitation and lined my dick up with him, I slowly pushed in and gasped in pleasure at the tightness I was feeling. Flashes of electricity bolted throughout my veins and pulled me closer to Frank. I moved slow to begin with, gaining speed slowly, until Frank let out a moan that sent shivers down my spine. I couldn't control myself anymore and it seemed that Frank couldn't either. Our bodies crushed together, moving harmoniously in a sweaty mess of flesh on flesh.
He ran a foot up and down one of my legs before he wrapped both legs around my waist, my back arched over him as he dug his nails in to my back, scratching up and down. Our lips collided in a furious passion, our tongues flicking and dancing with each other's. Each movement provided a pleasure more powerful than the last, the speed was increasing, the pleasure building, our visions blurring and our bodies twitching in intense passion. I fumbled my hand around Frank's cock and began pumping in unison with my thrusts, the sweat building, making it easier to move my hand up and down. A huge moan escaped my lips as I felt myself explode inside of Frank, my eyes rolled back in my head as Frank also climaxed, his moans only making me even more content.
I pulled out and collapsed onto the bed next to him.
We lay in silence, as the sun begins to rise outside of Frank's window, casting shadows of leaves blowing in the wind. Frank lays his head on my shoulder and I watch as his chest rises and falls, glistening with beads of perspiration.
"Move in with me" Frank whispers so quietly I'm unsure I've heard him correctly.
"Really?" I whisper back, my breath still coming out faster than normal.
"Yea, I begged my Mom all weekend and she said you and Mikey can come and live with us if you want" Frank replies, lifting his head so he can look me in the eyes. His eyes shine with something deeper than just passion, I see happiness and love within them.
"Thank you." I smile, trying to hold back the tears I feel welling up in my eyes.
"I thought you were angry at me." I whisper.
"What? Why?" Frank sounds shocked with my statement and I feel myself becoming confused.
"You hung up on me" I reply, feeling sorrowful at the memory.
"No I didn't, my phone ran out of battery" Frank laughs, burying his face against the nape of my neck once again.
"I'd never hang up on you" He says softly. I wrap my arms around my boyfriend as I stare up at the ceiling. I've never been so happy in my life and I know nothing in the world could ever ruin this for me. If my parents come back, I'll find a way to stay with Frank, I know I will. Because Frank is my soul mate and we can't not be together. Wherever he goes, I'll follow him into the dark, because without Frank, my life is not worth living.
"I love you so much Gerard and I mean this, forever." Frank says kissing my neck.
"I love you so much Frank and I will never stop loving you" I reply, before pausing and remembering what he said to me the first night we spent together.
"You know Frank." I pause as he lifts his head to look me in the eyes once again. The moment is perfect and I kiss Frank gently on the lips before I continue my sentence.
"You can runaway with me, anytime you want."