Chapter 12: Conclusion and Tag

October 30, 1991 - Maryland

The black Ford Explorer was more than a little over the posted speed limit as it weaved through the weekend traffic on interstate 270 in Maryland. A gentle cough from the passenger side caused the driver to tap the brake lightly and slow the vehicle just enough to keep pace with the rest of traffic.

Smiling at Amanda's gentle reminder, Lee glanced in the rear view mirror to note that Billy was still napping in his car seat. Even though he was anxious to reach their destination, he wanted to be careful with his precious cargo.

Feeling his wife's delicate hand on his shoulder, he leaned forward to let her massage the tension in his upper back muscles. With a grateful nod, he repositioned his body against the upholstery and let his thoughts review the past few weeks and their difficult re-entry into family life.

*****Flashback***** The days following Lee and Amanda's reunion

Coming off the exhilarating high of their reunion, reality hit them like an Canadian "Alberta Clipper" blizzard. An avalanche of issues barreled down on them, all demanding timely decisions. They hadn't even consummated their reunion before the first hurdle dampened their celebratory mood.

Amanda needed to return to her teaching position at Duke University, and Lee wasn't going with her. It was a huge let-down to say good-by in the beach parking lot, one day after they had found each other. Reluctantly, they made the decision that he would remain on the Outer Banks for the present time. He could still work for Beach Security and Maude could use his help with the storm clean-up. Truth be told, they were both sobered by the realization they needed a little space to absorb all that was happening.

Billy was inconsolable. Amanda literally had to pry his arms from his father's leg, promising him, in vain, that his daddy would drive up for a visit in a few days. Lee was traumatized by the scene. No amount of words or hugs could convince the little boy that his father would ever truly come home. Billy's anguished face and frantic cries haunted Lee in his dreams for many nights.

His first weekend visit to Durham wasn't much better. Lee felt like a distant relative stopping in for a rare appearance. He was awkward and ill-at-ease in the small townhouse that held little to remind him of the home they once shared. Even worse, Billy was wary of him, rebuffing his attempt at affection and choosing instead to cling to his mother. Lee could handle the boy's initial shyness, but he was concerned with the nervousness that radiated from Amanda. In his mind, she spent too much time fretting over dinner preparations and rambling non-stop about the weather, the university, and weekend community events.

The most disconcerting moment came when he brought his luggage in from the car. Setting the bags by the door, he was hit with a flood of memories of their early Agency partnership. Lee felt like they were on their faux honeymoon cruise to San Angelo, and he was bracing for Amanda's fuss over their accommodations. Almost six years and a marriage later, the old tension over appropriate sleeping arrangements threatened to be an issue, yet again. Standing in the entryway, he waited for Amanda's direction, but she merely pressed her lips in a tight smile and motioned for him to come back into the living room.

For hours, his luggage sat in the front hallway. They both pretended not to notice it, even though it sat like an elephant in the room - intimidating but unacknowledged. After receiving a quick tour of the house, Lee decided to take matters into his own hands. The solution was simple. He carried his bags upstairs and placed them in the guest bedroom. Their road back as a couple would have to start in neutral corners, and then they could let nature take it's course.

Their evening together didn't measure up to expectations, either. Billy constantly tested the limits by knocking over the goldfish bowl, letting the neighbor's dog in the house, and spilling chocolate milk on his father's beige jacket. By the time he threw a temper tantrum over a denied television show, he was treading on thin ice. Sent to the kitchen for a time out, he forfeited the rest of the evening when he scribbled on the freshly painted walls with magic marker.

Out of patience, his mother marched him off to bed, skipping his bath and reading him only one short bedtime story, while his father watched helplessly from the doorway. Tucked in with his "Blankie" and Eeyore, he was lovingly kissed goodnight and firmly told to go to sleep. His retreating parents hardly made it to the top step before he cut loose with a piercing wail that all but rattled the rafters.

The boy's howl of protest echoed through the house, unabated for fifteen minutes, while his weary parents steeled themselves to wait it out on the living room sofa. Ultimately, Billy won the battle when he appeared on the landing with a terrible case of hiccups and a copious nosebleed.

It didn't take a doctorate in child psychology to know the boy was acting out his fears for his family. The rest of the evening was consumed with reassuring Billy, amid parental declarations of guilt over upsetting their son's sense of security.

Even after Billy fell asleep on the sofa and was carried to bed in his father's arms, the moment never seemed appropriate to nurture their own needs as a couple. A clumsy chaste kiss capped off the disappointing day, and they retreated to their separate bedrooms.

Lee lay awake for hours, tossing and turning and worrying about their future. He was about ready to leave the bed and head downstairs, when he sensed someone standing in the doorway.

"Lee, are you asleep?" Amanda's disembodied voice floated to him in the darkness.

Lifting his head from the pillow, he paused to clear the roughness from his throat, "I'm awake. Come on in."

Like a willowy apparition, she moved toward him, her slippers scuffing across the plush carpet. "Would you like to talk?"

"Yeah, I would." Making room in the bed, he opened the covers. Wordlessly, she slid in beside him. Her silky nightgown felt cool to his warm skin, as the material grazed his bare chest and bunched around his thighs. He sucked in his breath at the contact. Clearly, her physical proximity challenged his self-control. Only his boxer shorts provided some measure of modesty.

Amanda cautiously inched away from his aroused body, and, for a long moment, she laid stiffly at his side. Only her ragged breathing penetrated the chasm between them. "I'm sorry about today," she finally said in a strangled whimper. "I'm acting like the nervous housewife who had to share overnight accommodations with the dashing spy."

"Hey, you're not in bed with the playboy, Scarecrow; it's me, your husband - the guy who has been faithful to you since our first real date. You must remember the meal without any 'shop talk'."

"Yes, I do - with steak, salad, and a bake potato on the side. Apparently you decided a casual dinner with me was a better option than dining at an embassy party with the lovely Leslie O'Conner."

"Absolutely, and after our simple evening together, I never considered going back to Leslie or my old lifestyle."

"I always liked that about you; when you committed yourself, you played for keeps." Amanda reached for his hand and entwined their fingers. "In all the years of your absence, I haven't so much as looked at another man. If I couldn't have you, I didn't want anybody."

"Loyal forever, huh?"

"For all the days of our lives."

"Come here," he said, opening his arms in invitation. "Let's bridge the gap between us." As she pillowed her head against his cheek, Lee felt the tears that streamed down her face. "Hey, we're going to be okay." Stroking her arm, he simply held her close, while she cried softly into the hollow of his neck.

"I'm sorry Lee," she said, her words interspersed with sniffles. "I seem to be on an emotional roller coaster. After the initial euphoria of our reunion, uncertainty has overshadowed my jubilation. In the past, we were on the same wave length and practically read each other's thoughts. Today we hesitated over every word, and gave each other a wide berth. I didn't have a clue how to get back to our natural, comfortable relationship."

"I know, I know." He blew out a nervous breath, struggling to reassure her, as well as himself. "At least we've started a heart to heart talk. It's a step in the right direction."

"Yes, it is, but surely you recognized we've both changed. The two of us lived apart longer than we lived together. Our marriage was seven months on and four years off. Lee and Amanda Stetson are practically strangers to each other, especially now that we have new identities."

"True, but it's not like Matthew Hamilton and Ann West are starting from scratch. The mutual attraction is still there."

"Yes, and we still have our abiding love intact, but we're out of sync." She raised herself on an elbow, tentatively tracing his brow with her fingers. "Would you consider going to counseling together?"

"Counseling?" he asked, not quite hiding his trepidation.

Amanda sighed softly and withdrew her hand from his face. "Yes, sweetheart, we have a lot of adjustments to make - getting reacquainted with each other, finding new jobs, making a secure home for Billy, bringing Phillip and Jamie back into the fold. It's a new beginning for our family."

"Yeah, I suppose it is."

She hesitated for a beat. "Lee, I don't think we should tell our teenagers that you've returned - not yet, anyway."

"God, why not?" he protested, clearly wounded by her words.

Rushing to reassure him, she ran her hand along his forearm in a calming gesture. "Please don't be hurt, but I think the two of us need to find our footing first. After all, the boys are still mourning their father's death. I don't want them to worry over whether or not their newly reunited parents can navigate the inevitable bumps in the road. I think counseling will help us deal with all aspects of our family life."

"I see what you mean." He paused to weigh her suggestion, as he recalled numerous annoying experiences with Agency "shrinks". Then sighing in resignation, he made his decision. "I'll do whatever it takes, Amanda. If you think talking to a counselor will put us on the right track, then count me in."

She heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank you, sweetheart. Counseling may help us find our old rhythms again."

He pulled her tightly against his solid frame, his hands seeking purchase at the small of her back. "You know, I think old fashion intimacy may kick-start some of those old rhythms. It's practical, readily available, and never goes out of style." He leaned in closer, teasing her lips with the tip of his tongue.

She pulled back a little and smiled against his ear. "Well, I could definitely benefit from a refresher course."

"Let's see what I remember?" he said, as his mouth explored the sweetness of her pliant lips. Hungrily, he trailed kisses along her cheek and down her neck, while his hands studied the fine curves and softness of her body. It didn't take much of a review before the old passion ignited like a match to parched kindling.

Relaxing in his embrace, she pressed her hands against his chest, sliding them over his shoulders and into the thick hair at the back of his neck. "It still feels like you."

"And you still feel like my beautiful Amanda," he whispered in a voice husky with desire. His pulse raced and the blood surged through his veins, carrying vitality to every fiber of his being. He wanted her with a fierceness belied only by the tenderness of his touch.

Reverently, her fingers caressed the peaks, and valleys, and hollows of his body, leaving him trembling in their wake. Then entwining their legs together, she purred against his ear. "We still have the perfect fit."

"Made for each other," he whispered in words mingled with raw need and deep devotion.

Lost in the wonder of rediscovery, they were ready to pay homage to the longing that simmered on the back burner all day. Freeing themselves from all restraints, they felt the heat of their desire elevate to a rolling boil. With one fluid motion, they melted into ecstasy and let themselves be consumed by the flame of their love.

In the afterglow of their reunion, they savored the sense of peace and hope about their future. Settling into a loose embrace, they were finally ready to surrender to sleep.

Only minutes went by before, a distant cry called out to them from the darkness. "Mommy, Daddy, where are you?" The child's voice seemed to be coming from the master bedroom.

Amanda popped up immediately. "Daddy and I are in the guest bedroom," she called as she signaled her husband to get dressed.

"Not again," he groaned. Grumbling, he rummaged through the sheets for their bed clothes.

"Get used to it, pal. Our son is also known as the midnight rambler."

"We'll have to do something about that." Lee yanked on his shorts and handed his wife her nightgown. "I take it we had plenty of privacy to conceive the child. Incredibly, I never knew we were expecting."

"Oh, sweetheart, I never knew either, not until weeks after you left."

"Well, that's a relief. I'd hate to think you withheld vital information during our family crisis."

"No, Lee, I wouldn't keep something that important a secret. You definitely had a need to know."

He sighed. "I guess it was better that I didn't know. I wouldn't have wanted to agonize over saving the boys and leaving my unborn baby."

"What baby?" Billy asked from the doorway as he flipped on the overhead light. There the rascal stood, clad from neck to toe in blue fuzzy pajamas. Eeyore was clutched in his arm, and "Blankie" dragged behind him. "Why are you guys in here?"

"We thought it would be special," Amanda said with a smile. "Would you like to join us, just for tonight?"

Billy didn't need a second invitation. Tossing his friends on the bed, he climbed over the footboard, and wormed his way between his parents. Grinning up at them, he settled in with a kick in the side for his father and an elbow jab in the ribs for his mother. "This is fun."

"You bet." Lee said with a tinge of sarcasm. Shaking his head, he escaped momentarily to turn out the light. Returning to the bed, he kissed his son's forehead and then leaned over him to bestow a kiss on his wife. "Now I know why my mother hung jingle bells on the bedroom doors all year long."

Amanda laughed. "Obviously, it was a warning system to announce your presence in the middle of the night."

"I want jingle bells on my door," Billy said hopefully.

"What a wonderful idea, son." Lee nudged his wife.

"Yes," she agreed. "I'll hang them first thing in the morning."

*****End of Flashback*****

Tag

Pulling himself from his musings, Lee took the exit ramp and followed the narrow roads toward Western Maryland College, where Phillip's soccer team was competing in a tournament. Jamie was participating, too, as the assistant to the team trainer. Even Dotty and Curt were flying in for the event. This would be the first time the family was together since the horrendous day of the boys' abduction.

Lee gave himself a mental shake and reached for Amanda's hand. Feeling her gentle squeeze, he reminded himself to relax and go with the flow. Although, Phillip and Jamie hadn't been told about his return, Amanda had laid the ground work by suggesting hopeful news was starting to unfold about their stepfather. She also informed them she was coming to check out a country home, complete with horses, that was up for sale near Westminster, Maryland. If the boys really thought about it, they might put two and two together.

Thank God, he'd managed to clear his name with the Agency and been granted official retirement status. Now, he'd have some retirement funds to put toward the dream home and the horses they wanted.

His gravest concern had been getting the black mark removed from his record. However, when he and Amanda traveled back to Washington D.C. for his debriefing, everything fell into place. Harry, Billy and Francine all went to bat for him, and he sailed through the interrogation without any further consequences. Even Dr. Smyth begrudgingly accepted the sacrifice of the infamous agent and let Scarecrow's admirable record stand on its own merit. Lee walked away a free man, with his wife at his side and the blessings of his colleagues ringing in his ears. He shook his head at the memory

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Amanda asked as she studied the expression on his face. "You look so serious."

"Just thinking." He shrugged. "After I reunite with the boys, we will have covered all our bases, and we can put the whole protracted affair behind us. I hope they understand why I disappeared from their lives."

"Believe me, sweetheart, the boys will just be thrilled to have you back."

"I hope so." Stopping his vehicle in the grassy, overflow parking lot, Lee helped Amanda from the passenger side and reached into the back to remove the restraints from Billy's car seat. Lifting the sleepy child into his arms, he kissed his wife's cheek as they gazed at the breathtaking scenery of the Carroll County, college campus. The gentle rolling hills of the Maryland countryside were ablaze with the bright reds and yellows of the magnificent fall foliage. Relishing the moment of perfect peace, Lee held his family tighter and let out a sigh of contentment.

Suddenly from behind him, he heard a familiar voice. "Amanda, Lee, darlings." Turning around, he found himself engulfed by Dotty and Curt. Even though they'd recently been informed of his return and had talked together on the phone, nothing could prepare him for the actual reunion. Dotty wept tears of joy as she hugged him and declared her undying faith in his return. "Lee, darling. I never once lost hope. I knew you'd be back to make my daughter and grandsons happy."

Lee grinned, while he blinked back tears and gripped his mother-in-law tightly. "Thanks, Dotty. Thank you for your faith in me."

"Hey, I'm squashed," Billy protested loudly as he fought against the overindulgent hugs of his grandparents. "Grandma, did you know?" Billy said, pointing at his father. "He's my Daddy."

Amanda laughed, "Gee, Billy, didn't you tell Grandma on the phone about twenty times?"

"That's okay, sweetie. Grandma wants to hear you say it, over and over again."

Taking Billy's hands, Lee and Amanda followed Dotty and Curt toward the bleachers, hoping to claim some seats farther from the action. No one wanted the boys to spot their stepfather until after the game was over. The startling revelation needed to wait for a private family moment.

Stopping at the refreshment tent, Lee reached for his wallet to purchase coffee, hot chocolate and hotdogs for everybody. Holding out a bag of chips for his son, he felt an old panic suck the breath from his lungs. "Where's Billy? Did anyone see where he went?"

Amanda set her drink down on the counter and carefully looked in every direction. Acknowledging the fear in her husband's voice, she hastened to reassure him. "Now, don't worry, sweetheart. He couldn't have gone far."

A complete check of the area still didn't turn up Billy. Nervously raking his fingers through his hair, Lee felt suffocated by the endless scenarios that flashed through his mind. Despite Amanda's pleas to stay calm, he could see the concern etched on her face. He was ready to call in the cavalry.

Suddenly, loud shouts reverberated from the soccer field, and the crowd erupted into cheers and laughter. Turning toward the commotion, Lee and Amanda stood gaping at the ruckus playing out before them. The fast paced action of the first tournament game had quickly deteriorated into complete chaos. Without warning, a massive pile-up ensued at mid-field. The high school boys collided with each other, in a wild scramble to catch an interloper who ran interference on the play. The ball was rendered out of bounds when the tiny thief zig-zagged off the field in a brilliant evasive maneuver.

The teams' benches emptied as coaches and players jumped up to watch the elusive intruder. Confusion reigned until two teens emerged from the mayhem to nab the little boy fleeing with the soccer ball. Snatching up their squealing brother, they kicked the coveted ball toward the tangle of bodies and knelt to embrace the overwrought child.

Lee and Amanda managed to exchange relieved, but sheepish, grins at the antics of their offspring. Then they let out a gasp when they realized the truth had surfaced. Clearly, Billy was directing Phillip and Jamie toward his parents. Doing a double take, the two teens jumped to their feet and started running at breakneck speed, with their baby brother trailing behind them.

"Lee, Lee," they screamed in unison, their faces stunned by the little boy's revelation.

"Oh, my, God. Billy's told them." Bracing for the onslaught, Lee moved forward to receive his stepsons with open arms.

Practically bowling him over with an exuberant leap, the teens converged into their stepfather's powerful embrace. Linked inseparably, the threesome laughed and cried with relief and joy.

Soon the others joined the huddle, and Billy squeezed between his brothers' legs. Reaching down, Phillip claimed his youngest sibling and swung him up into his arms. "Way to go, cowboy. You managed to bring down both soccer teams."

"Hey, partner," his father intoned. "Don't you ever try a stunt like that again. You scared Mommy and Daddy." He glanced at his wife, who was murmuring by his side. "And who does your child take after?"

Pointing at Lee, Billy chirped into Phillip's ear. "See, I told you; that's my Daddy. I found him all by myself."

"Oh, you did, did you?" Phillip laughed at his boastful brother.

"He sure did. We wouldn't be together today, if he didn't befriend me on the beach. " Lee reached over to smooth the cowlick of his small son.

At Jamie's surprised look, his mother interceded. "Boys, it's a long story, one we will share with you tonight. Suffice it to say, our little guy is definitely the hero."

Grinning at Phillip, Jamie whispered back to Billy. "Thanks, squirt. Now, will you let him be our Dad too?"

As his small son nodded agreeably, Lee looked into the intense loving gazes of his stepsons, finding there the courage he needed to let go of the past. After four years of exile, he could finally be free from the terror that held him hostage.

This was his family, once scattered to the four winds, but now made whole. They were reunited by the unseen hand of divine providence, manifested through the innocent actions of a little child.

The End