AN: i don't want to give too many spoilers for my own story so, just read.
I dont own Glee, it's characters, or the concept of sex. I just put them all together and post it on the internet!
"Hey San! Santana wait up!" Puck ran after the small brunette.
"What do you want Puckerman. I have to find Britt before Sue does. Did you know she's throwing dodge balls at us now?"
"Yea, I deflected a few already, but I need a favor."
"What? If it's boob action, I ain't interested." Santana was getting annoyed.
"It's for the Glee assignment. Can I come by tonight?"
"Sure. Now move, I gots to get my girl and save her from balls to the face." With that, she pushed past him and stormed down the hall. Puck watched her leave. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but Santana was the only girl he was remotely close to that he wasn't trying to bang.
Later that night, puck pulled into Santana's driveway and knocked on the door. After hearing various screams in Spanish, the door opened. "In Puckerman." Santana dragged him up to her room and closed the door. "What is it that you need? A duet?"
"Yea, kind of. I had this idea. The song 'Man I Feel Like A Woman', only a gender bender version. You in a sext pant suit, hair pulled back, and me… uhm, in drag, kinda…"
"PUCKERMAN! You flaming fairy! I knew you played for the other team-"
"No I'm not! I'm a lady's man, not a man lady. But everyone knows these freakishly good looks can't be wasted on one gender. Come on San, it'll be funny. I just need your voice and also to chick me up and stuff. Also, I need a dress from your mom." Santana's mother was a larger woman and her clothes would probably fit Puck's beefy frame well.
They practiced and planned the rest of the night. It was so late by the time they finished, Puck ended up staying over. It didn't matter to either of them. Santana was a lesbian and Puck lacked female anatomy. Puck liked having a chick friend that he had no risk of getting pregnant. The next morning, they headed straight into the Auditorium dressing room to get ready, leaving a message for the rest of the Glee members to meet them there. That way there was no risk of ruining the surprise or Puck getting jumped by Azimo or any of those other idiots. They set the chairs up right on the stage. The audience needed to be close to see the humor of it. One everyone was seated, Santana queued the music, and they began.
Santana walked out in an all-black pant suit, complete with cane and fedora.
Let's go girls.
I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout
It was then Puck came out in a red knee length dress, long brown wig, and flawless make up. The real surprise was the 4-inch heels that he seemed to strut far too easily in.
No inhibitions-make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time
The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel, way i feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
Puck winked at the crowd. Everyone was either laughing hysterically or just in a state of shock.
The girls need a break-tonight we're gonna take
The chance to get out on the town
We don't need romance-we only wanna dance
We're gonna let our hair hang down
The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
They broke out in to a small choreographed routine that was very sexual. Santana using the cane almost as a stripper pole and Puck using Santana as the same.
The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun, fun, fun
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
I get totally crazy
Can you feel it
Come, come, come on baby
I feel like a woman
When the song ended, everyone stood in applause. Everyone except for Kurt Hummel, who just sat clapping quietly. "Got a problem Kurt? Not fantastic enough for you?" Puck was almost hurt by his lack of approval.
"No, no. I enjoyed it very much. Very Victor/Victoria, or in this case Noah/Nora. I just didn't feel like standing." Kurt shifted in his seat very discretely adjusting the front of his skinny jeans. No one seemed to notice the movement, nobody but Puck. Suddenly the jock understood why Kurt hadn't stood up, it was because another part of him was already giving a standing ovation. Puck laughed quietly to himself.
It was a few minutes later, when everyone was leaving to go to class, that Puck approached Kurt. "So you liked my little show, Hummel?"
"Yes, Noah, it was very entertaining. I wouldn't have pegged you for the Drag Queen type." Kurt raked his eyes over Puck, who was still in full drag.
"I wouldn't have pegged you for the type that got off on that!" Kurt went red and opened his mouth to protest, but he was cut off. "Don't think I didn't notice exactly why you didn't stand with everyone else."
"You're an idiot." Kurt said, trying to be stern and sarcastic, but instead it came out breathy and wanting.
Puck leaned in, keeping their faces less than an inch apart. "We're alone now." Kurt looked around, he was right. Everyone had left and they both were now officially late for their first class. Puck grabbed Kurt's hand before he could think, and pulled him into the dark alcove of the backstage area. He pinned Kurt to the wall and kicked off the heeled shoes. They were now almost the same height. Puck looked into Kurt's impossibly blue eyes and rolled his hips against his.
Kurt moaned softly at the friction. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't been sporting an erection since Puck walked out on the stage in that dress. "Wait, Noah." Puck backed up a step when he heard Kurt's small plea. "You're straight. You like girls. I'm not a girl, I have a dick."
Puck had to laugh. "I don't do labels Hummel. Just because I go after every skirt in this school doesn't mean I haven't noticed how great you ass looked in a pair of tight jeans or wonder what it'd be like to suck your cock."
Kurt let out a small moan at the image and Puck leaned down to start kissing and nipping at Kurt's jaw bone and neck. He unbuttoned his shirt and worked his way lower. He stopped on Kurt's chest and began licking and sucking on his nipples. Kurt's hands found the back of Puck's head. Ugh, this damn wig! Kurt ripped it off his head, threw it aside, and gripped his fingers in Puck's Mohawk.
Puck continued his way down to Kurt's stomach. When he reached the waistband of Kurt's jeans, he glanced up and smirked at the panting boy above him. He undid Kurt's pants and pulled them down along with his boxer briefs. Not wasting any time, Puck wrapped his hand around Kurt's dick. "Uhm, sorry Kurt, but this is kind of where my knowledge of dude sex ends."
"Unf, just move your hand like it's your own. Please, just fucking move!" Kurt thrust his hips up into Puck's hand, hoping he'd get the point. It worked. Puck began to slowly pump his fist along Kurt's length. Almost instinctually, Puck licked the head of Kurt's dick. "Shit!"
"Not too bad." Noah mumbled. He then ran his tongue along the underside of Kurt. Kurt still kept one hand gripped to puck's hair, while the other gripped at a pipe on the wall above his head. Puck wrapped his lips around the head, sucking lightly, all while still pumping Kurt with his fist. Slowly Puck eased his mouth lower and lower, taking in as much as he could before he became uncomfortable. He made it almost to the base, leaving only enough room for just his thumb and index finger to wrap around the hot skin.
"Holy Fuck!" Kurt was moaning and cursing. He tried to hold off on coming for as long as he could. He couldn't believe that Puck was new to this. The way he moved his tongue and hallowed out his cheeks as he pulled back, sheer expertise. There was a familiar coiling in in lower abdomen. "Fuck, Noah, I'm gonna come."
Puck looked up, through his eye lashes, at Kurt. Instead of backing off, he just sucked him deeper down his throat and brought a hand up to massage his balls. Kurt came hard down his throat. Puck tried to swallow it all but some of it leaked out the corner of his mouth. He picked himself up off the floor and looked Kurt in the eyes. With a smirk, Kurt pulled him into a kiss, licking up the drips of come on his chin. With a surprising amount of strength, Kurt flipped them around, pulling the hem of the dress up around Puck's waist, revealing a very erect penis. Kurt slowly sank to his knees and looked up at him.
"Your turn!"
AN: AHH i'm a hardcore Klainer so it was weird to write PucKurt smut... please review.