January 2005

North of Union Station.

Harm had received an interesting call from an old acquaintance, one that would eventually change his life in a way that he would never expect. Thankfully he had the time to decide what to do, and how it would affect this personal and professional life. After talking to Mac about it, as his decision affected her, he did something that he had sworn he would never do, he went to the boss' boss and called in a very huge favor. In doing this he changed the course of many lives. After that he waited for a decision, knowing that when it came to military bureaucracy it would take months for everything to go through.

Tuesday

Early April 2005

St. Vincent Hospital

Blacksburg, Virginia

As each day passed as he waited, sitting at her bedside, for Mattie to come out of the coma she'd received as a result of the collision of the plane she was taking piloting lessons with another during a snowstorm, Commander Harmon Rabb, Junior considered something he'd have thought improbable just a few years earlier. The accident made him remember that life was precious, and that he wasn't getting any younger, he knew that he would likely be leaving military service, and have some semblance of a family. He knew many in the service could handle both, but for some reason, this was not an option for him, Events and situations were converging in his life and were about to reach a break point: they were telling him that it was time to leave his dream from childhood of a life-long career in the Navy.

It appeared that he would soon be given complete custody of Mattie Grace Johnson; her father's disappearance from the hospital was not favorably seen by the very same commonwealth agency that had allowed the return of said daughter just months previous.

Harm had done everything he could to get Tom, her father, to return to his daughter's bedside sober; obviously Tom hadn't been able to take the stress of his daughter's injuries and had fallen off the proverbial wagon. Harm didn't want to completely cut the man out of Mattie's life; but he knew that until Tom was ready to cope with his the fact his daughter had been severely injured, there could be little contact, per the commonwealth's recommendation.

Another reason why Harm considered a career change was his mother Trish. His mother had a cancer scare the last fall, a lesion on her arm was shown to be benign. Trish had not wanted to burden her son with her health crisis since the diagnosis occurred at the same time Mattie returned to live with her father. Harm had accidentally found out about the cancer scare when his mother called him on his birthday. This had opened his eyes to the fact she was getting older, and was now close to retirement age. Harm knew he needed to mend his often distant relationship with his mother. Living close by would go a long way in healing the rift which had slowly grown between mother and son since his departure for the Academy as a teenager. Living in the San Diego area would be ideal, anywhere in southern California would suffice. After the phone call he'd considered checking out the possibilities at the bases in Washington or northern California; at least he would be in the same time zone. The San Diego JAG office rarely had openings for senior staff as the weather and southern California location made it a highly sought after posting. According to his contact at BUPERS; who just happened to be a female classmate from the Academy, what hurt Harm's ability to transfer to San Diego for any positions currently open he was otherwise qualified for-they were at captain's rank or higher and he wasn't a captain, yet.

Since his return to JAG in 2003, he knew he wouldn't be promoted; there were several black marks on his record since his promotion to commander, the recent accusation of the murder of Lt. Singer hadn't helped. .If he were to be a lawyer and be out of the military, it would be as a civilian, he knew that he preferred the trial aspect of being an attorney as opposed to the paperwork side of the career but it hadn't killed him, yet.

The only option left to stay in the military he hadn't considered, going into the reserves. It hadn't crossed his mind.

Harm knew that he'd leave headquarters JAG soon anyway. Despite everything he knew his life was on the upswing; Mattie had survived the horrific crash and he and Mac were back to the friendship they'd shared before her disastrous engagement to Brumby. In fact, he could say, that they were closer than ever.

Until Mattie's accident, Harm had had little time to brood about his life. It turned out that Mattie's return to her father had freed up a surprising amount of time in his daily schedule. Unfortunately his friendship with Sturgis, which had been on shaky ground for months, was now in tatters, the two were barely civil to each other; neither was communicating, if it wasn't work related.

He might not have had quite as much time to brood lately if Mac hadn't been so busy; as the general was having her mentor a 'jerk'. Lt. Jerkovich was Harm's private name for Greg Vukovich, who made the late Lauren Singer look like a saint, with his antics. Harm knew he'd been considered cocky when he was a lieutenant; but this guy took cockiness to a new level. He was tempted to say that Greg's picture would be in the dictionary next to the word cocky.

When Mac returned from the conference in San Diego she'd driven to Blacksburg to see Harm and Mattie. However, Harm had kept Mac at arms length her entire visit, slowly pushing her away. Thankfully, Mac comprehended that Harm wasn't doing it intentionally; he was carrying a pain she couldn't begin to understand, so she gave him his space. They'd both matured in the past year since Webb's betrayal, neither read things the wrong way, as they'd done before. After her visit, Mac wrote Harm a note, which she left for him at the nurses station, telling Harm to call her any at time; that she was with him in spirit, even if he didn't want her around.

An exhausted Harm had nearly broke down in tears upon reading the note knowing that Mac was saying on paper what he wasn't quite ready to hear with his ears.

The nurse had given him the note when he'd finally left Mattie's room to sleep. The staff was letting him sleep in the on-call room. Initially surprised to find out he wasn't Mattie's father, they'd seen the devotion to the teen they'd given him the same access they would any parent. It wasn't fair to the teen to not allow the one person in her life to visit her, just because he had no legal tie to her. What tipped the scales in his favor, as far as the hospital administration was concerned, he'd been her guardian just the year before and appeared to be the closest thing to a father figure she had in her life and the commonwealth had given him back his foster status.

Upon reading the note Harm felt like a heel, Mac had been there for him and he'd pushed her away, she'd make the effort to travel the distance to Blacksburg immediately after traveling cross-country. Getting a promise from a nurse to page him if there were any change, he'd raced to leave the hospital so he could use his cell. Mac was halfway to DC when he phoned. "Mac, I didn't mean for you to leave," she could hear raw emotion in his voice. "I just needed to be strong. I don't know any other way. One of the last things Daddy told me before he left was to be strong while he was away." Harm rarely referred to the late Harmon Rabb, Senior as daddy, so Mac knew he was showing her a part of himself he rarely revealed to anyone. The boy who'd forced himself to grow up before he needed to because of his father's last words to him.

"Harm, I needed to go anyway, with you on emergency leave, the General is really short-handed. It doesn't help that Wonder Boy is in Iraq. The best thing you can do for Mattie right now is to get some sleep, you're beyond exhausted. Call me after you get at least four hours sleep, no make that six hours, or if you hear anything about Mattie." Mac gently ordered her best friend and the tone in her voice told him she was right, he really needed to get some rest so he could help Mattie when she woke from her coma. He'd do no good to Mattie if he ended up in the hospital bed next to her.

"Yes, Ma'am" Harm complied, heading back into the hospital and letting the nurses know where he'd be, went to lay down for two hours. He slept all night for the first night in over a week as the nurses conveniently 'forgot' to wake him; it had been a very quiet night in ICU. They could easily see they were close to having another patient on their hands and that sleep was the best medicine in this case. Things looked brighter in the morning. It was after he'd grabbed a quick breakfast and returned to her room Mattie came out of her coma.

Harm called Mac to let her, and the rest of the staff know of the positive update on Mattie's condition. After talking to Harm Mac put him through to the General who told him to be back in the office on Monday. This gave him nearly another week to be with Mattie. Creswell was well aware Harm had leave time built up; knew that if BUPERS didn't give Harm family leave, the time off would be subtracted from his vacation time.

During the week that Harm spent in Blacksburg with a now conscious Mattie, Harm's life changed yet again as Tom Johnson, in one of his few sober minutes, relinquished his parental rights, Harm was given custody.

Harm wasn't about to tell the judge he was considering leaving his job. There was always the possibility of transfer, either out of state or out of the country. The judge made it very clear if Harm were to be transferred out of the country, certain parameters would have to be set for him to retain custody. However, if he remained stateside the judge would work with the state Harm went to. She could see the bond between Mattie and Harm wasn't evident between Tom and his daughter.

With Harm present the doctors told Mattie, "With intense therapy you might recover fully, I would not to count on military service in your future." She had to realize that her chances of attending the Academy were slim, but she'd survived the accident, which had been a miracle in itself.

Harm returned from Blacksburg on Sunday night, went straight to Mac's apartment. She knew very well he didn't have anything edible in his kitchen, as she'd picked up his mail while he was gone. When they'd finished, Harm led her over to her couch, telling her the dishes could wait. What he had to say couldn't.

"I've had nothing but time on my hands the past few weeks, waiting for Mattie to wake up, I know I've told you how sorry I was for how I acted when you came to St Vincent's. I was just overwhelmed, trying to keep strong for Mattie, for myself. I recognize now that I can't do it alone, I need someone in my life, I need you, I love you Sarah MacKenzie."

Chapter 2

Mac was crying, Harm was showing a side to him no made had ever done with Mac, he opened his heart, she'd come to realize she needed him as well, her ill-fated time with Clay had proven one thing, the only man in her life filling the emptiness was one Harmon Rabb, Junior. "I love you too, Harm." They kissed passionately, the few shared kisses in the past nothing compared to this one. What Harm said next surprised Mac, and made her realize just how extraordinary a man he really was.

"Mac, don't take this the wrong way, but I want to take it slow, make this special, I don't want us to rush into anything." Now she was crying, Harm knew it was the tears of happiness, and joy.

"I think that's the sweetest thing a guy has ever said to me," She had tears in her eyes, but he could see they were happy tears, "Harm, when we both decide the time is right we'll go further." He left for home a few minutes later no wanting to tempt fate.

End of April 2005

Harm and Mac made an effort to get together as often as they could. After nearly 10 years, they were dating, not just enjoying the companionship of a close friend. Of course, life had to throw them a roadblock as their work schedules were busy any weeknight or weekends spent together were special. Tonight would be no exception, unless he had message saying she was going out of town, yet again, on his answering machine. They'd both traveled a lot this year

On Thursday Harm had been sent to teach a seminar at the Naval Academy, as the person originally scheduled sidelined with laryngitis. Harm had given the lecture a few years earlier; and when faced with whom to find at the last minute his name was at the top of their list, and not just because he was the closest individual available. Harm headed back to Washington, hoping to spend time with Sarah. Harm was back before he knew it and he'd just enough time to make homemade spaghetti sauce for dinner. He mentally ran through what he had on hand a quick stop at his favorite little shop and he arrived home. He went through his mail, waiting for Mac to arrive and the ingredients to boil. There were several bills, and several pieces of junk mail.

One piece appeared to be a bill, but he knew he didn't have any business with this company as it was in San Diego other than own shares in it; he quickly opened an official looking document. A classmate from school, now the president of the company, had contacted him just after Christmas to see if he were interested in being in charge of the legal department, as the current head was about to retire. Harm would be senior vice-president of legal affairs. A couple of years ago getting a call or a letter like this would've been an easy decision. No longer, Harm now had people to consider in his decision besides himself, Mattie, and Mac.

He knew that he had to put Mac into the equation; it took nearly ten years of them being friends to reach the exalted level of relationship known as dating. They knew they were both at fault for not getting together sooner. Both their pasts had been a major stumbling block, it hadn't helped over the years when one had been interested in pursuing a deeper relationship the other hadn't been. Finally, since just after her car accident Christmas Eve, they were both on the same paragraph, if not the same page.

Now if life would only cooperate. Now their personal relationships were on track, it was their careers that seemed to be conspiring against them. Anytime they had spent as a couple was precious. Since her accident, they'd spent each weekend that they could with Mattie, the drive giving them a chance to talk during the hours of travel. They only answered their cell phones if it were the duty officer at JAG, or a family member. So far, their luck had been holding and there had been no calls requiring a return to Falls Church.

Harm was finishing the spaghetti sauce the pasta cooking when he heard the knock at the door. It was Mac. She had a duffel bag with a clothing change with her. The look on her face was slightly bewildered. He gave her a quick kiss and a hug. "I can see you had a bad day. Come over here and tell Dr. Harm all about it" as he gave her a quick kiss before he led her over to his couch.

"Let's just say that Singer Junior is up to his normal antics, fortunately he had a doctor's appointment this afternoon, so therefore I had a good afternoon, that is until Creswell sent for me. I have good news and bad news." Harm couldn't read her, but he could tell she was stunned.

She took a moment, fortifying herself with a breath before continuing. "The good news is I'm getting my own command; the bad news is I have to take Vukovich with me, along with Mayfield, and Graves. The bad news/good news is-it's in San Diego." She had tears in her eyes, they were finally making progress, and they were going to be a couple of thousand miles apart.

"Mom and Frank live in La Jolla, why don't you can stay with them while you find a place? Even if they have plans out of town, I'm sure they wouldn't mind you watch the place. Besides, Mom has several pictures I know I don't want you to see and more than one story I'd rather you not hear but I know she will gladly show them and tell you a few stories I'd rather you not hear." Harm gave Mac a rueful grin and a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh I think staying with them would be worth the drive, just for the blackmail." Mac looked at him impishly; realizing he was really was okay with her transfer. She wondered why, trying to figure out a way to ask when he surprised her with words she thought she would never hear him speak.

Harm knew the words he was about to say could adversely affect their relationship if she took them the wrong way. With the two of them words had gotten them into trouble more than once.

"Your news helped me make up my mind. Mac, my twenty is up at the end of June, and you know that I'm seriously thinking of not renewing my commission. There are enough dings on my record that my chances of making Captain are fifty-fifty at best." He could see she wanted to interrupt him, "hold on, before you start saying anything, I've given this a lot of thought for the past several weeks, if not months. I'm at peace topping out at Commander. I knew that this was in the cards I dealt myself two years ago. The only hitch is I'll need to stay in until sometime into July, I need to check the exact date, to have my twenty. My time with CIA counts, but I lost over a month before and after my time in the CIA. No matter what my decision, I want to; no I need to stay in for my twenty. A bubble head, whom shall remain nameless, on the other hand, will have his in a couple of weeks."

"Harm, you sure about this, I don't think they'll let you come back a third time?" Mac was astounded to hear Harm saying he was considering leaving the Navy, this time for good. To herself she thought, 'this time he's completely thinking through the situation not going on emotion alone, he really has grown.' "What would you do?" She was also thinking about the daydream Harm told her he'd had when they'd attended Coates' promotion dinner. She didn't want that particular scenario to come to fruition and she knew he didn't either.

Harm then showed her the most recent job offer from MacLaren Enterprises and reminded her of the fact that he'd known Darren since grade school. She was stunned by his salary offer. Some of the benefits mentioned, which came with the job made her think about civilian life, for a nanosecond. Once he took the job, he'd get the exact particulars. Dalton and his firm hadn't been as generous when she'd made her ill-fated trip to civilian life years ago. "Mac, I don't want to lose you, we're finally together, and frankly my career in the Navy isn't worth losing you."

She looked him straight in the eye. "Harm, don't do it just for me, you'll hate me eventually, if you do." Harm thought back to the dream he'd had during the celebration of Coates' promotion party a year ago. He knew she was right. If he resigned just to be with her, he'd regret it. He knew he wouldn't regret it, if it meant Mac was in his life.

"If I get transferred, you can bet it won't be anywhere near San Diego. I'll likely be transferred out of the country, and that's the one stipulation the judge had regarding custody of Mattie. She said I could take her to any rehab center in the states, just have to let her know, she'll have to go there for awhile, in any case, she reiterated to me that it would have to be an exceptional situation to take her out of the country. I can't lose her; she'd fought too hard to stay alive. I think it would crush Mattie's spirit for me to leave her now. I know it would crush me to leave her." His voice showed the depth of love he had for the teen, you'd never know he wasn't her father-biologically or adoptive.

"Mattie's strong, she'll understand. Mattie and I have talked, if you're sent to Iraq or anywhere else overseas she'd miss you, and pray for your safety, but she'll understand why." Mac tried to explain to Harm.

"I didn't understand it when I was a kid. I think its one reason I turned out the way I did," Harm was being brutally honest with himself, and Mac. The time spent by Mattie's bedside had been productive, in giving Harm plenty of time for introspection.

Mac had continued her visits with Dr. McCool even after the required sessions had stopped, and had told what her friend was going through, how she was giving him the time and space he was requesting, but that she was only a phone call away. McCool told her she was doing the right thing, to listen to what he was saying, and what he wasn't saying.

"Are you really interested in working for your friend? You know you'd be doing a lot of paperwork, which I know you 'love'." He lobbed the sofa pillow at her. She ducked and it missed, hitting the wall.

"What about going into the reserves? That way you're still in the Navy, you'll get to fly. You can't be the only pilot your age in the reserves."

The look on his face told her he hadn't thought of that possibility at all. Harm hadn't thought of that obvious option for some reason. He wasn't quite ready to give up flying for his country, as long as he was qualified to fly, it was one of the reasons he wanted to stay in the Navy. It's a great idea, I'll check into it."

The look of relief on his face told Mac he might have found a way to be involved in the Navy, and able to fly his beloved planes. To her astonishment, she was glad he might have found a way to be with his other love, flying. It was the one and only mistress, she would let Harm have. Any other, she'd do bodily harm to Harm and the other woman. And Harm knew it.

Chapter 3

The timer on the stove reminded them both it was time to eat. They had a lively time discussing the pros and cons of Harm working for his classmate during the meal. Being heavily involved in paperwork was not Harm's strong suit, Sturgis' stint as acting JAG reinforced that. It was the major consideration against taking the job.

"Why don't you call him? Its not even four on the West Coast, he should still be in the office" Mac said stating the obvious. She was excited for him; this would be great for both of them. They could develop their relationship and live in the same town.

Harm reached for his phone and called MacLaren Enterprises; it turned out the number he'd been given was Darren's direct line.

Harm found out that as head of the department, he'd be able to handle the department the way he saw fit. He would be required to be trial counsel for the company, but other than that he could write his own ticket. He'd be accountable to Darren, as well as the board; the company was quite diversified in its holdings so there were several routes he could take as the head of the legal services. Harm told him he was very interested, but needed just a little more time to think about it. If Harm was called out of town on a case, he'd let Darren know his decision either by email or phone in a weeks time.

On the west coast it was still the workday. Harm decided to make a few more phone calls; as it would help him with his decision. The rehabilitation center that he himself had been in after his ramp strike was located near La Jolla. He knew they were well-suited for someone Mattie's age. Currently they didn't have many minors in residence; but she wouldn't be the youngest in residence. The distance to California was the major factor; transferring Mattie would be tricky, but doable.

If Harm decided to return to La Jolla, and it seemed a sure thing the more he thought about it; he'd need a place to live. He'd already asked Frank to release the trust fund from Frank's parents; Harm had been the closest thing to a grandchild that the couple had. He'd already decided to use it to pay whatever costs insurance would not cover. They'd already transferred the funds to his bank in Falls Church he planned to use the rest of the fund to find housing which would be compatible for Mattie physically. He knew the house would likely need to be custom built; between his above average height and the needs of someone in a wheelchair, there were things the average house did not have. If he moved, he needed to transfer SARAH, but taking a cross-country trip with Sarah in SARAH had always been a dream of his. A light went off in his head, a germ of an idea, but an idea to think about in the coming days.

Mac would leave for San Diego in just over a week; they were determined to spend as much time as possible together before her transfer. Because of Mac's impending transfer they spent the weekend packing her apartment, leaving just the basics for her to use for the remainder of her time in DC. Mattie was disappointed they were not coming down, but enjoyed the visit they had with her via the web-cam on her laptop. Mac wanted what was best for him. "Don't take the job with MacLaren if you're doing it only to be with me, do it for yourself." He kept hearing that in his head over the weekend as he wrestled with the decision.

Monday morning Harm was certain of his decision before the promotion lists came out and knew it was the correct one when he wasn't on the list but Sturgis was. Everyone but Mac was the only one amazed at how Harm took it with great equanimity, but she knew something the others did not. Harm had called BUPERS regarding the possibility of joining the reserves, in San Diego, as a pilot after Mac had pointed out that option on Friday. He had gone to the Pentagon Saturday to sign the papers to switch to the reserves, and had received his orders before he left.

Creswell planned to meet with each JAG, letting them know if they were staying or being transferred. A few already had been notified, like Mac and Vukovich. but was out of the office for most of the week; the JAG's from the various services of the US military were getting together with their NATO counterparts at Norfolk

The young officer had a grin on his face that Harm wanted to erase, actually, he wanted to grind the young lawyer into a pulp and feed him to the alligators at the National zoo, but Harm had too much to lose for that particular fantasy to become a reality. It was a nice fantasy though, he had the feeling he'd have help from others if he really wanted to fulfill it.

Harm was glad both Mayfield and Graves were also going to San Diego, they were a counterweight to the volatile actions of the Lothario, Lieutenant Vukovich, it seemed to Harm, thought he could actually make a move on his Lieutenant Colonel. She wouldn't risk her career for such a weasel; she'd learned that lesson the hard way earlier in her career. Harm chuckled; wouldn't Vukovich be surprised to see she was already taken?

Mac and Harm agreed, until she was officially transferred, they would not be 'outed' as a couple. They'd managed to be a 'couple' for a few months without the whole world knowing, a few days more they could handle. They'd let the world know at her going away party, until then, they kept their guard up, like they had for several months.

After leaving work Thursday, knowing Creswell would be speaking to him in the morning. Harm went home to change into one of the few civilian suits he owned. That would soon have to change. Now he was ready to drive over to Mac's apartment. It would be the last night for her at her apartment; they'd packed up her kitchen, so she had no reason not accept his offer of dinner out.

He treated Mac to an intimate dinner for two, very close to her apartment. He'd called the restaurant and reserved the patio and clued the maitre d in on his plans. Guy La Russo was a romantic at heart, a plus in his job, and he gave Harm a few suggestions to enhance their dining experience. Mac was touched Harm went to the lengths he had for their last dinner together in DC. "I really think you should take your time finding a place, Mac. I'll be out there soon and we'll be together." She acquiesced after some thought, having an idea he was very close to proposing marriage. He just hadn't said those four lovely words-yet.