AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a crossover between Marvel and Scott Pilgrim. Instead of being more like a video game, it is more like a comic book. Ergo why everyone is a superhero.
"Peter Parker is dating a high schooler!" Jan Dyne said.
At Stephen Rogers's house, the members of the band known as the Mighty Avengers were gathered in the kitchen, around a little table. Present in the room were Peter Parker, the bass player; Stephen Rogers, guitarist and singer; Jan Dyne, drummer; and "Young Bobby" Drake, their number one fan and Stephen Rogers's roommate. Right now, Jan was informing everyone that Peter is now dating a... well, high schooler.
Stephen Rogers looked at Peter and inquired, "Really? Is she cute?"
Jan glared, "How old are you, Peter? Like, 24? The poor girl's probably seven years younger than you."
"I'm not playing this little game, Jan. Oh, and I'm 22. 22!" Peter drank his coffee.
Peter Parker. Age: 22. Bass player and sometimes a superhero called Spider-Man. Status: Amazing.
Young Bobby looked at Peter. "So did you two... do it?"
"We have done many things. We ride the bus together, and have talks about other superheroes, and her school, and, um, stuff."
Stephen Rogers raised an eyebrow. "Did you kiss her yet?"
"Not yet. We almost hugged one time, but she hesitated."
Jan rolled her eyes. "You seem content."
"What the hell are you talking about, Jan?"
Stephen Rogers interrupted, "What's her name?"
"Kitty Pryde. She's a mutant."
The door went DING DONG. Peter jumped up, and ran to the door. "That's for me!" At the doorway stood:
Kitty Pryde. Age: 17. High schooler and sometimes a superhero named Shadowcat. Status: Happy-go-lucky.
"I'm here, Peter!"
"Great! Will you be good?"
Kitty became confused. "Of course I will. Am I normally not good?"
Stephen Rogers came over to the couple. "Good God, what are you making the poor girl do, Peter?"
Peter looked over. "Oh, hey, this is Stephen Rogers. He's the talent."
Stephen Rogers. Age: 23. The talent and sometimes a superhero known as Captain America. Status: Needs to pee.
Kitty came in the house. When she walked into the living room, the first thing she saw was Jan at her drum set, right next to Peter's bass and Stephen Rogers's guitar. Peter introduced, "Kitty, that's Jan."
Kitty was interested. "And you play the drums?" Jan, grumpy as ever, replied, "Yes." "That's pretty cool!"
Jan Dyne. Age: 21. Drummer and sometimes a superhero named Wasp. Status: Trying to forget that she dated Peter in high school.
Young Bobby sat down on the couch. Kitty asked him what instrument he played. "Um... unless the 3DS counts, nothing. I just live here."
"Young Bobby" Drake. Age: 20. Plays the 3DS and is sometimes a superhero called Iceman. Status: Having trouble with beating Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
The Mighty Avengers got their instruments all set. Jan counted them in. "We are the Mighty Avengers! One, two, three, four!"
SONG TIME:
I can't be sure but I think I heard you crawl through the door,
You didn't say a word,
And I think you tried to go to bed but instead you went to floor,
You've been out drinking with the other boys again,
Telling them we're only friends,
Making out and making noise,
Oh, stop pretending that this isn't really ending,
and I will stop resenting you when you stop resenting me,
I waited up late, a bit too late until you finally came in,
Where do I end and where do you begin,
You've been out partying with the guys I've never met,
Drinking beer and smoking cigarettes,
Killing brain cells and killing me,
Oh, stop pretending that this isn't really ending,
and I will stop resenting you when you stop resenting me,
why won't you stop pretending that this game is never ending?
And I will stop resenting you when you stop resenting, stop resenting, stop resenting, stop resenting me… YOW!
The band finished their song, entitled "Stop Resenting Me." Kitty jawdropped.
Peter went home to his tiny apartment where his roommate Johnny Storm was waiting. Peter informed that he was dating a high schooler. Johnny replied, "Hmm. Is he cute?"
"Ha ha ha."
Johnny Storm. Age: 24. Peter's gay roommate and sometimes a superhero named the Human Torch. Status: Highly gay.
"Listen, Johnny. Don't tell my clone that I'm dating a high schooler."
Johnny got up and walked over to the bathroom, texting as he walked. "You know me, Peter."
"Who did you just text?"
The phone went RING RING. The voice on the other side of the line was what sounded like a feminine Peter. And it was. "High school mutant? Scandal!"
Jessica Drew. Age: 22. Peter's clone who works at The Seafood, Ham, Ice cream, Eggs, and Latte Diner (also known as The S.H.I.E.L.D.) and is sometimes a superhero named Spider-Woman. Status: Irked at her "brother."
Peter was surprised to hear that she knew already. "Who told you this?"
"Johnny, who else?"
"That gossipy b***h." From the bathroom, Peter could hear Johnny yell, "You know me!"
Jessica resumed her talk. "Who is this mystery mutant?"
"Kitty Pryde. She's 17."
"A 17-year-old mutant. You're ridiculous."
"I think she said it was a Catholic school, too."
This set Jessica off. "WHAT? WITH THE UNIFORM AND EVERYTHING?"
"Yeah, the whole deal."
"Is this you finally getting over you-know-who, or you going insane?"
"Can I get back to you on that?"
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, what did you think? Notice that I started doing author's notes. Never fear, I'll upload Chapter 2 over the weekend!