LoloxBear:

Hello to all! :) So I bet you are all wondering what in the world this one shot in about... but I think the title kind of says it all. This, I guess you could say, is pretty much a crackfic and just for kicks and giggles. So I hope you enjoy this little moment Temari experienced with her family. 3

.Tiny White Tampon.

Rated: T for Teen due to mild cursing and violence.

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto.

Tiny White Tampon © LoloxBear.

Temari liked to consider herself as a strong woman.

No, that isn't correct. Temari knew she was a strong woman.

Being the eldest of the Sand Siblings and the sole daughter of the Fourth Kazekage, Temari took pride in her status and lived up to it well. She was brave, independent, straight-forward and above everything, feared yet loved by all. But all these wonderful traits Temari possessed could have never ever in a million years helped her the day she had to explain to Gaara what a tampon was.

She was having the worst day. After burning her hand on the stove, realizing that she was missing a hair-tie, and nearly getting into a fist fight with an old lady at the market over mangoes, the beautiful yet deadly Sand Sibling wanted nothing more than to take a hot steaming shower and roll herself up into her cozy blankets. But Temari still had a long list of chores looming over her head that needed to be finished. With a heavy sigh and mental weeping, she stumbled back into her home to find Kankurō lazing on the couch.

"Oh good you're back. Where's my soda?" was the greeting the middle child offered the tired kunoichi.

"Do not push it," she growled in response as she proceeded to dump the groceries into the kitchen. Her tolerance of stupidity (especially from her brother) had always been considerably low. At this point it was almost non-existent.

"Damn, someone got their monthly gift," Kankurōgrumbled while he shifted through the bags curiously. His comment was followed with a yelp of pain courtesy of Temari who continued to put the food away with only one shoe on.

"Complain again and I can guarantee you will be served sand for dinner tonight," she threatened. Kankurō let out a low growl before stomping out of the kitchen and back into the living room. Temari could hear him mumbling a string of insults on his way out but she didn't let that bother her. She had a list of house chores to do before she could even think about starting dinner.

"Oh sweet Kami, how do you live like this?"

Temari plugged her nose as a pungent smell rolled over her. Kankurō pouted at his sister.

"It does not smell that bad," he growled. The puppeteer considered throwing his wrench at his older sister but decided losing his life wasn't worth a moment's satisfaction.

"It smells awful in here Kankurō! Clean your shit hole of a room up now!"

"But—"

"Do it or I donate your puppets to the orphanage."

With a whine of protest, the Sand Sibling reluctantly got up from his desk and began to pick up his dirty clothes off the floor. Triumphant, Temari turned on her heel and headed towards the bathroom.

"Anyone in here?" She knocked lightly on the door and waited a moment for any noises that would indicate her youngest brother occupying it. Deciding it was clear, she twisted open the door and let out an undignified squeak.

Gaara stood in the middle of the tiny bathroom with his back turned to her. Relief flooded her once she realized he was fully clothed and not exactly in the middle of anything. The only thing that truly puzzled the blonde was why Gaara was in the bathroom just… standing.

"Gaara, you scared me," she chided him though a sort of dread knotted her stomach. Even though the red head had changed so much since the Chuunin Exams, she was still weary whenever in his presence. Some old habits took forever to die. "You should have said something when I knocked."

"Temari, what is this?" Gaara asked, ignoring what his oldest sibling was saying. Temari pursed her lips in annoyance and waited to see what exactly had caught the red head's attention.

"What Gaara? I can't answer your question if I can't see what you're talking about."

He turned around slowly, never lifting his confused yet fascinated gaze from the object he cradled in his hands. Temari studied his expression in amusement for a moment before dropping her gaze to his hands.

"What are you hol—" The words died out in her throat before she could vocalize her question. Her mouth dropped as her eyes widened to the size that could have rivaled dinner plates. In his pale little hands, Sabaku no Gaara held a tiny white tampon.

…

"Give that to me!" Temari all but shrieked as she snatched at the tampon. Surprised, Gaara jumped back as a barrier of sand rushed up between the siblings. The blonde let out a cry as she punched the thick sand wall. "Gaara give that to me! You aren't supposed to see that!"

"Why?" Gaara inquired. The sand fell away enough for her to see him peer at her with a quizzical look. Heat began to creep up Temari's neck and color her cheeks a deep shade of red.

"Because that's mine!" she said shrilly and tried in vain to grab at Gaara's hands. "It's for my personal use. Boys your age doesn't need to know what it is."

"No. Tell me what it is," Gaara demanded with a growl. His patience was wearing thin with this game his sister was obviously playing with him.

"What the hell is going on?"

Both Temari and Gaara turned their attention to a very annoyed looking Kankurō. He stood in the hallway with a hamper that he must have dragged along with him.

"Oh sweet Kami, just go away!" The kunoichi moaned. She placed her face into her hands and shook her head vigorously as though she was trying to revive herself from a dream.

"What? What did I do?" Kankurō's annoyance turned to an expression of extreme offense.

"Temari won't tell me what this is," Gaara supplied. The sand fell away and withdrew back to his gourd as the youngest sibling held up the trouble inducing tampon between his forefinger and thumb.

If there was one thing Temari was sure of, her cheeks were ready to melt right off her face.

"Holy crap, I can't believe you're holding that up," Kankurō howled in the mists of his laughter. He was clutching his sides in a desperate attempt to calm down the ache while he fell to the floor and proceeded to roll around.

"Shut up, you nimrod!" Temari hissed as she aimed a kick at his mocking face.

But Kankrou had rolled down a few feet into the hall, still holding his sides and still cackling to his potential death.

"Why is he laughing?" Gaara demanded. His temper was beginning to flare to which Temari responded with wide eyes and a gulp.

"He's an idiot in every sense of the word," she said feebly. Holding her hand out, Temari decided to suck up her fear and make a demand of her own: "Now give me the tampon!"

"Tampon?" The future Kazekage rolled the white tube in his hand with great curiosity.

"Tampon…" he sounded like he was trying to test the word out.

After a moment, he reached towards Temari and placed the object of interest into her awaiting palm (though slightly reluctant). With a sigh of relief, the blonde wrapped her digits around the tampon and shoved it into her pocket. She wanted to get away from all this as soon as possible.

She turned on her heel and quickly walked away from her brothers, placing a strong kick into the second oldest for good measurement. "What is it used for?" Gaara called out, following his sister towards the kitchen. He silently observed the flustered kunoichi as she pulled out various (and from what he could tell), random food items and pots. She made it a point to avoid looking anywhere near his direction.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Temari murmured while she viciously tore off the plastic wrap around some carrots and threw them into the sink.

"You know exactly what I am talking about," he growled in response. Just because he made a promise to himself not to kill people for pissing him off, doesn't mean he was above torturing the information out of his sister. He wanted his answers damn it!

"Yeah, Temari. Tell our little brother exactly what you use it for," Kankurō said, appearing behind Gaara with a delighted grin. His facial paint had been smeared from tears that had been produced from laughing so hard. The blonde turned to him with bared teeth.

"Both of you better leave me the hell alone or there will be no dinner!"

Neither of the boys seemed fazed.

"Tell me."

"Tell him!"

"Now, Temari."

"Yeah. Now!"

The poor carrot Temari had been peeling snapped in two.

"SHUT UP!" Her eyes flashed dangerously as the livid teen threw the mutilated vegetable away and turned to her siblings, her face again an unusual deep red. "It's for my period okay? There I said it! It is for my stupid, annoying period and I use it to stop the damn bleeding! Now leave me alone!"

The brothers stood with eyes slightly wider than normal. Gaara was half-expecting steam to blow out of her ears and fire to pour from her mouth.

A moment of silence passed.

"What do you mean bleeding?" Kankurō voiced Gaara's silent question innocently.

"I WILL CASTRATE YOU WITH A DAMN SPOON!"

Kankurō let out a fierce yelp as he took off towards the direction of his room. Temari followed him screaming, a spoon indeed clenched tightly into her fist. Gaara watched the pair run off towards the bedrooms.

Ten dollars says you're about to have a new sister.

Gaara couldn't help but snort at Shukaku's comment. He could care less at this point. At least now he knew what a tampon was.

A/N: Kankurō should know by now not to push Temari's buttons. :P Well, hope you liked it! I think the characterization was somewhat off but I liked the idea too much to care. It's a crackfic anyways so... *shrug*. Leave me a review with your thoughts. Have a lovely day. :)