This little outtake was for...one of the million causes I try and help by donating my words.

I so love these characters. So this comes right after the last outtake, when Emmett brought Rose home to meet the family.

Ready...set...GO!

So…

Emmett and Rose had a shotgun wedding since he had knocked her up and all.

Fuck my life.

And three days ago, the phone rings.

It's Emmett.

And he is telling me something I just can't believe.

Rose has to go on bed rest.

She can't stay at school and her parents are dead…

I want to say 'lucky them' but I won't.

So where does that leave us?

"Edward? Can you PLEASE bring in some more of that taco dip?"

Yep…

She's here.

With us.

She has two more months till her due date.

Did I mention fuck my life?

*()*()*

Bella is working and since my little Self Storage business is pretty much coasting without me at this point, I am the one who stays home with the kids…

And…

"Edward!"

Rose.

As if taking care of, let me get this right…

Cara, nine.

Riley and Jacob, seven.

Samantha, five.

Charlie, three.

And can't forget the newest little squirt…

Ella Sweet, eight months old and damn, does she live up to her name.

She is the sweetest thing ever.

And she has thankfully been very patient and stayed in her crib long after her nap is over so I can get Rose her munchies.

But now Rose has what she needs and I can finally spring Ella from her prison.

"Hello my Sweet. How are you?" I coo as she reaches for me.

It melts my heart every fucking time.

I never thought I would be a stay at home dad, but it works for us.

Bella works with my mom at the shop and comes home to feed Ella and have lunch with me and Charlie every day.

The older four are all in school, and will be home in another…

"DAD!"

Shit…I guess time flies when you're a pregnant woman's bitch.

*()*()*

"Honey…I'm home!" Emmett yells as he busts open the front door.

"EMMIE BEAR!" Rose squeals from her spot on the couch.

From then on we can't go in the living room for fear of being scarred for life.

Rose may have been put on bed rest but that doesn't mean she has to rest when she's in bed.

I wish it did.

*()*()*

Emmett stayed the weekend, but we were adamant that he keep his grades up, which meant come Monday…

He was gone.

The little kids were napping and I still had two hours before the older ones would be home.

This was my favorite part of the day.

I had just settled down in my chair and had the remote pointed at the TV when…

"Edward!"

"What, Rose?" I shout back, not really in the mood for her shit right now.

"Can you come here for a second?" she yells, and I make sure I sighed loud enough that she could hear me.

I pushed open her door and stood with my shoulder against the doorway, arms crossed over my chest.

A typical pissed off pose.

"Yes?" I snarl.

She was propped up against a mountain of pillows, her hands folded in her lap.

"I'm scared," she whispers, looking up at me with tear-filled eyes.

Shit.

I push off the jam and sit next to her, yanking one of her hands in between mine.

"You'll be fine! Emmett was there for almost all of the kid's births. He could probably deliver this baby if he had to," I tell her, but that only makes the tears come faster.

"That's what I mean! He knows everything there is to know about babies and kids. He can change a diaper and…Jesus, he even knows what nipple cream is!" she shouts, wiping at her eyes with her free hand and smudging her thick mascara all over the place.

I remember that night Bella made him go out to the pharmacy and get her nipple cream when the twins were little.

Served him right for eating all her ice cream.

That shit's sacred.

"Rose, I'm sure you've been around kids before," I cajole, but she just shakes her head frantically, making a mess of her hair.

"I don't! I don't know anything about…ANYTHING!" she cries, and I cringe as I wait for…

"Waaaa!"

Yep…she woke up Ella.

"Well, Rose, since you've disturbed our little in house demonstration, I'll go get her and we'll get started."

*()*()*

"So…I have to like…clean the poop out of her…beav," Rose whispers, wipe in hand as Ella lays spread eagle on the changing table.

"Yeah, sometimes it really gets in there. But I think a girl is better than a boy, cause the poop gets all in those nut creases and just…gah," I shudder, thankful that Charlie is potty trained.

"Okay, so like this?" she asks, hitching Ella's bum up in the air and dabbing at the mess.

"No Rose, you gotta get in there," I sigh, nudging her out of the way so I can get Ella clean before one of her feet end up covered in poop.

"See, this is what I'm talking about. I know nothing!" she wails dramatically as she sits down in the rocking chair.

Once Ella is clean, I plop her down on the floor and kneel next to Rose as she pushes herself back and forth in the chair.

"What if I mess everything up, Edward? What if I do something wrong?" she whispers, her eyes on Ella as she plays with some blocks.

"Rose, you're going to be this kid's mom. There is nothing that can prepare you for that. But once you see that little face, and hold them in your arms…everything will fall into place. And you're not going to mess them up for life if you don't get their pajamas buttoned right, or put too much diaper cream on them. Hell, look at me. You think I got through six kids without screwing some things up along the way?" I laugh, and put my hands out to Ella when she starts to crawl toward me.

"Like what?" Rose asks, her tears slowing to sniffles.

"Well let's see…after Cara was born, I constantly put both of her legs in the same pant leg, and then would set her down to walk, only to have her fall over. When Sammy was two, I left her alone in the kitchen for one minute, and when I came back she had scattered the entire container of Splenda everywhere…including all over herself. Her skin tasted sweet for a week."

I lean toward her, putting my finger over my lips so she knows to put this next one in the vault.

"When Jake and Riley were born…I mixed them up when we brought them home. I don't even know if Jake is really Jake or if he's Riley. So yeah…mistakes happen. But you learn from them and become a better parent."

Ella is snuggling against my chest, her chubby little fist wrapped around my shirt, and I can't help but nuzzle her sweetly scented hair.

When I look back up at Rose, the tears have started again…

But I can tell they're good ones this time.

*()*()*

"Get out of my face!" Rose screams as we guide her into the car.

The baby is coming…and it's early.

Emmett just happened to be here visiting, but he may end up visiting the morgue before this baby is born.

"I mean it…if you even try to touch me, I will rip your fingers off!" she moans, leaning against the car as another contraction hits.

Emmett looks kinda green.

"Relax buddy. Remember when Bella had the twins, and she threatened to cut my dick off? And look how that turned out?" I joke, slapping him on the back as I push him into the front seat.

Rose manages to get herself in, and we're off.

Bella wanted to come too, but my parents are in Portland at a Flower Show, so she stayed home with the kids.

Which puts me in charge.

"Jesus Horatio Christ! Are you taking the scenic route, Edward? Maybe you can get us there before this baby explodes out of my taint!"

I had forgotten just how dramatic a woman in labor can be.

*()*()*

"GET OUT!" Rose screeches as Emmett tries to wipe her forehead off.

My poor boy.

He just wants to help, but he has no idea the amount of pain that girl is going through right now.

"Why don't you go call Bella and give her an update?" I suggest, and not so gently shove him out into the hall.

Rose is moaning and whimpering on the bed, and from the look of those contractions on the monitor, it is with good reason.

"How about we check to see how you're progressing?" the OB asks, donning a gown and a pair of gloves.

Rose reaches her hand out, and I take it without a second thought.

We've become close, these last few months, and I truly feel like we might…

"Holy Shit! Let go of my fucking hand!" I scream, trying desperately to get out of her grip.

She's like the fucking Hulk or something.

"Ok, we're ready to push now," the doctor says, excitedly as he gets things together at the end of the bed.

I lean out into the hall and call for Emmett, who comes in looking like he's ready for a firing squad.

"Okay guys, you can each grab a leg…" the nurse says, and I back up, holding my hands up because there is no way in hell I am…

"Please Edward," Rose whimpers as she struggles to breathe through the pain.

Shit.

I just won't look, that's all.

"Just a few more pushes," the doctor says, encouragingly, and as much as I didn't want to…

I look down and watch as my pseudo-grandchild enters the world.

"It's a boy!" the nurse announces as she starts wiping the squirming body off.

I look across the bed to my boy…

My Emmett…

And we both have tears streaming down our faces.

He might not be my blood…

But he sure as hell is my son.

*()*()*

"So now I have to worry about keeping his little peen clean and wiping poop out of his nutsack creases?" Rose asks, as we look down into the clear bassinet at the newest member of the Cullen family.

Edward Charles.

I'm not gonna lie, when Emmett told me they were naming him after me, I sobbed like a baby.

"It will only take you a few days to become a pro, Rose. And you'll be home with us for a while until you can figure things out. You'll have plenty of help," I tell her, bumping her shoulder with mine.

We're best friends now; because once you've seen someone squirt out a baby…there ain't no going back.

"I don't think I could have made it through all this without you, Edward," she says softly as she runs her fingers over little Edward's wild blond hair.

"You could have Rose, but it wouldn't have been as fun."

As Melanie said…'What a way to bond."

You never know when I'll write more of these guys!

LOVE YOU!