(A/n) This chapter is dedicated to Ivorygirl1990, thanks for sending me a reminder of how my story meant to you.

I apologize for not updating in three months. All I can say is that when real life grabs you, time has no sympathy and fan fictions are not a priority when it comes to making a living.

Hope this next chapter makes up for the last one.

Warning: There is mention of a same sex relationship in this chapter, if you find that offensive please do not read.

Heartbeat so strong,
Beating fast holding on.

Mother's tears falling down,
Slowly allowing time to fade round.

Guilty conscience it's ok,
No time for sadness,
No time for blame.

Doctors that come bringing sadness and hope,
Reality sinks in dose by dose.

Gentle hand, beautiful smile.
Nothing like the love of ones child.

Anger at all that's happened and still,
Cannot change what must be gods will.

Families that circle and bring comfort to all.
Will share ones strength when the other must fall.

Stronger men have come and gone.
While women have wept and stood strong to carry on.

No matter the distance,
Or time and space,
Heartache will heal,
And the emptiness fade...

A Mother's Sorrow ~ Rachel Fogle

.oOo.

Chapter 13: A Mother's Sorrow

Katherine

"You've gone again to see him Katherine? He's a grown man now, I think he can live on without you hiding in the shadows. "

I didn't acknowledge the voice that spoke to me as I climbed my way into the upper structures of the abandoned church that my coven called their home. It was located in one of the poorest areas of London and where the homeless, the homeless whores and the drunken wanderers would avoid because of the rumors of the ghosts that lived within. I suppose some humor could be found in the fact that a coven of vampires would find sanctuary within the walls of one of the many abandoned churches within these parts of the slums. However, I learned a long time ago that even the scum and evil of earth would need sanctuary from time to time from the horrors of their own lives. We were no different. A god who had allowed us to exist must show some sort of sympathy toward its own creations at some point, like a mother toward a wayward child.

Though we were demons for taking lives in order to sustain our own, whatever god that allowed us to thrive must love us in some way. The only thing I could think of was to repent in some way, my protecting those who could not protect themselves from the evils of this world. I was lucky in that respect, our coven leader Hilda agreed with my opinions in this particular notion. She agreed that we should not take innocent lives, not like those who had taken ours...

There were some exceptions to the rules. I myself was one of them. If it had not been for my Mary, I surely would have given all of life to that of my son. If my Mary had not been there, awaiting the moment of my assured demise, I would not have remained to exist. Apparently, being found as the true mate of a vampire was a sure way to an immortal life. Of course, notifying said mate of your existence helped your chances as well...

The moment I had given to birth my son and the internal bleeding (that which I nor any of the humans who had assisted in the birth would have discovered on our own) had not stopped, my Mary was there to take me away. She would not allow eternal death to touch me. I was her bonded mate, I was her life, and she did not wish to exist without me. She stole me away the moment all of the humans had left the room, the moment they had taken my son away from me, hoping to save the new life. All that is except that of my husband, the pastor Cullen, and the midwife.

Even now I can hear the hoarse cries of my husband, the shrieking screams of the midwife as what they saw as a beautiful, red eyed demon burst through one of the windows and took me in her arms. I remember, through the haze of pain, as she hissed at my husband and said I was no longer a part of their human existence. I was hers as I was always meant to me...

Then, as the pain in my lower abdomen grew, she stole me away into the night and whispered sweet nothings into my ear. "You are safe my love, you will be all right. You will survive and you will see your son again."

I could only whimper in response before I felt a terrible, sharp pain in the side of my neck. The burning that had erupted from that single contact was like hell fire. Through it all I could hear a heavenly, bell like voice telling me I was safe. I would always be safe... I held onto the last memory I had. That of my son... My beautiful son...

"Victoria, leave her alone. She has gone to see her son all of these years, I doubt she'll give that up anytime soon."

I smiled at Anne, my coven sister, who always rose to my defense. Her own sister by blood and venom, whose name was Victoria, simply huffed in annoyance and flipped her brilliant fiery colored hair, turning her back to me. She resumed her seat by one of the few windows of this part of the church, watching whatever she had been before I came in. Anne simply shrugged in my direction and continued to smile at me, a pale finger twirling a lock of her own mahogany hair. "As always, do not pay her any mind Kate. How was Carlisle today?" She looked at me with expectant crimson eyes, her smile bright and cheerful.

Anne, aside from my sweet Mary and our leader Hilda, was the only other one who supported me in my escapades in seeing my son. She understood well enough what it meant to leave a part of yourself behind. Victoria, as her sister by blood, had been her responsibility in their human lives. She had to play mother and protector of her younger sister. So when she had been changed by Hilda, she could not abandon her sister even when the rest of her human memories had been muddled. Victoria had been the one beacon to shine through the burning of the change as Carlisle had been for me.

Though Anne had been quick to change her sister as soon as her own blood lust was under strict control, I myself did not wish to change my son. I suppose because of my own unique gift I knew what one future held for my son and I knew that his perfect match would not be born for another three centuries. I also knew that I had to allow him to choose for himself what future he wished...

It didn't work well.

He had been turned, as was determined by his choices, and he lived as honorable and honest a life as he could. Though he wished to not take a human life, he still took the lesser of two evils (as I did myself in feeding from those who had lived heathen lives or were sick) and took life from that of creatures who were not aware of their own existence as their human brethren. He could survive.

Many years had passed and he had grown lonely. He had created his firstborn, Edward. His second was one who he would see as his mate in life, Esme. He created two others and gained two more who agreed in his choice to abstain from taking human life. He would acquire the family he had always longed for, that he never had in his own human life. Where the disappointment that he felt from his own father's lack of affection, from my own constant ghostly presence as the wall between them, would continue to thrive, it would fade to a dull throb with this new family.

Here is where the path would diverge and he would not see the true half of his soul when they finally met face to face within the walls of that emergency room. She would see him, recognize a part of him that called to her but she would dismiss it as nothing more than a typical girl's fancy. Instead, she would turn to the one soul who was not meant for her.

By the actions that Edward Cullen had caused, it had broken her. By not being able to recognize the soul bond that she and Carlisle shared, their different paths in life having taken them so far apart, they never found each other. I can also say that to witness the that future my coven sister had to experience, my sister Victoria. Her madness over losing a vampire who was not truly her mate, though she strongly believed to be... The devastation of her actions... I could not allow this future to take place if it was within my power to do so.

I had been given this gift to move through the curves and streams of Time for a reason. My one of two reasons for existing could benefit from this ability: To meet his true mate, to experience the true bonding of souls. I vaguely recalled having experienced something of this as a human with the one who had been my husband and the father of my son. However, I could not completely recall and I am sure that it paled in comparison to what Mary and I shared. I knew that if these two could meet as humans than their bond would be even greater when they were both changed...

Or maybe...

Maybe it was just the wish of a mother who wanted only to see her son truly happy as she had been in experiencing this bond for herself... One who knew the joys of a world that neither he, nor his intended, had truly experienced in their respective times as humans... Maybe it was because of the love of a coven sister who wished to help one of her own to avoid a path that would lead to her destruction...

Had I done the right thing in bringing Isabella back to this time? I felt I did... In order for everyone who was important to me to be happy in the future that I saw, I felt I did...

I had seen the joys they could experience but now that I had interfered in actually bringing Isabella to a time before she even existed, had I done more damage than good? My gifts had succeeded in being placed to some use, mostly in the survival of my own coven. Without my insight, my coven would have perished long ago to the whims of the Volturi. Mostly because of our other coven sister, Heidi... Her gift of drawing in any and every human around was a benefit to our coven and something that other covens of human drinkers would covet. Had I not survived as Mary's bonded mate, my coven would have been destroyed a hundred years ago. Again, my gift had interfered for this one time line, going back and revealing to Mary the existence of her true mate. The reason for surviving being for that of my bonded mate and my coven. They had changed their hunting tactics and Heidi remained as an elusive member, ensured to never be seen by other vampires and ensuring that word of her did not reach the Volturi.

I did not what my new family to be destroyed. I always remained on watch for the Volturi and always remained sure that my sisters were careful in their choices. Especially for Heidi, she could not draw attention to herself or to us. They had survived and my Mary had come for me as promised. I had changed one future for the benefit of another. It existed still in another time line but this one that I called my home was my own. I was happy and would only be happier the moment my son found his own.

All of these thoughts that had processed through my brain happened so quickly that I did not delay in answering Anne's question concerning my son. "Carlisle is happy. He has asked Isabella to be his wife."

A squeal reached my hearing and the next moment I was swept up in a tight embrace, Anne's mahogany hair obscuring my vision. "Congratulations! You have a new daughter I hope?" I could only nod in reply as Anne pulled her head away took look at me and then I was once again swept up in a tight hug and swung around. "I'm so happy for you! When is the betrothal ceremony? And when is the wedding to be planned?"

I laughed gently as I pulled away from my sister and brushed away the locks of my golden hair from my eyes. "I don't know. I had to leave the moment his father and Lucy had come into the yard of church."

"Ah, Lucy," said Anne, nodding in understanding as she studied me, her crimson eyes filled with sympathy. Of all the people that my son could have called a close friend, the one who had proven herself most loyal also happened to be my singer. "Well, I suppose that means you will be going out tonight again."

I gave a nod in agreement, knowing that I had to remain close to my son in order to witness the path they were treading. So far, his continued path remained toward him being changed and if that happened that would mean I would have to interfere if only for Isabella's sake. She could not be around Carlisle in his newborn state...

"My sisters, we must move!"

The husky voice of our leader, Hilda, broke through the contemplative silence that had fallen between that of myself and Anne. She swept down through a hole in the roof of this abandoned church and landed near us, her raven black hair falling in curls about her pale face and her crimson eyes watching us all.

I felt a familiar relief ease itself within my chest as another had landed down behind me and wrapped a slender arm about my waist. I felt a nuzzle against my neck and a gentle kiss as my Mary pulled me close against her, almost protectively. I responded by touching my mate's hand about my waist and running my fingers gently across her silky skin.

"Why must we move?" Victoria was the first to ask, though she was on high alert for any possible escape from any threat.

Hilda glanced back at Victoria and let loose a gentle hiss, not at her coven mate, but of the threat that had made itself known. "There had been reports from the other covens that a couple of the Volturi Guard were sniffing about the borders of the city. They were no where near here but we cannot take chances. We have survived this long and we cannot be discovered now." She glanced at me and her frown grew. "Katherine, what do you make of their presence here?"

I felt Mary's arm tighten around my waist but I purred deeply in my chest, assuring her that all was well. I allowed my eyes to go unfocused and searched the many possible futures that could intertwine with this one and could affect a negative outcome for my coven. The flashes happened so quickly but every one that intertwined with this time line were ones that did not affect directly with my coven. They were all affecting the path of... of...

I gasped and let out a harsh cry in protest. After all I had done and all I had hoped for, those damn Volturi would still interfere. My sisters moved around me and Mary held me tighter, they all feared the worst. I quickly shook my head as I allowed my knees to give in to the very human motion of trembling from fear.

"They will not find us," I said, already seeing my sisters relax around me at these words. "However, my son and his bonded mate... They will be torn apart because of the actions of a coven that calls their home in the very sewers of this city. They will be separated because of the Volturi!" I allowed the grief to take over my heart and turned into the comforting embrace of my Mary, breathing in her sweet scent. My mate knew the pain of being separated from your bonded for even moment and she sympathized with me, whispering sweet and comforting words into my ear.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Hilda frowning at this as she mulled over my words. The survival of her coven was her priority as the leader and our happiness was also a part of that priority.

My son was an important part of me and one I would do anything for. Isabella was a part of that now and Hilda knew I would not stand for anything to interfere with their happiness. It was because of this notion that Anne was able to go back to save her sister from the hell she lived. Victoria was a part of Anne's continued happiness. With her sister safely in our ranks, she could concentrate on the survival of our coven. Hilda understood the need for our survival was in part because of our happiness. There wasn't anything that she denied us if it meant our coven would remain safe.

With my gift, the chances of our survival was enhanced and if my happiness ensured those chances to continue favorably, then she would approve of whatever I requested...

"Very well," said Hilda, recognizing and acknowledging what I had left unsaid. "We will do what we can to protect your son and his bonded mate as long as our coven survives because of it."

I closed my eyes at these words and felt the relief as this choice made itself known. This would help to buffer the negative aspects of whatever choices that might affect my hope for Carlisle and Isabella's future. There was so many streams and curves of so many possible futures that could overlap and affect it but with the support of my coven, my son and his bonded mate would be safe...

My sorrow at these turn of events meant that I could not go into every possible future to keep them from interfering with this time line I protected as my own. Everything terrible that could possibly happen to Carlisle and Isabella were there now that the Volturi had come to investigate. It seemed my involvement in their coming to London a hundred years ago only delayed that fated visit.

I just hoped that my coven, my son and my future daughter would survive this...

(A/n) I know the coven that Victoria was originally a part of had been destroyed in the 1570's but I felt they would be an interesting aspect to add to the story. Thanks for reading.