This here story is for ThePetualntProdigy. Cheers my dear!

I like listening to music, watching it, getting drunk, taking my clothes off and dancing to it, but that's where it ends. I played the recorder when I was 9 (everyone wanted to be my friend because I could play it with my nose), but thats how far my gift for music stretches. I am not a pro and so I skipped over some stuff I feel it would be stupid to try and pretend I know a lot about. I am also not down with the lingo. What the hell is slang for 'drummer' or 'drums'? I'll give you a back massage if you can name me some good ones.

Foreigner's 'I want to know what love is' blares through the small but powerful speaker on my phone. I tear through my bag in search of it, trying to ignore the smirks from other people on the school bus.

"I wanna know what love is! I want you to SHOW ME! I wanna feel what love is..."

Neliel and Grimmjow will pay for this. This is the last time they steal my phone and change the ringtone in disgusting attempt to be funny. I am going to murder them while they sleep.

"Hello."

To anyone listening, it might appear as though I have railed in my feelings and answered the phone calmly, but lucky for me, the man on the other end of the line knows me better than that.

"Wha's botherin' ma precious Qui-chan?"

I hate it when he calls me that. And I wish he'd speak properly. That stupid accept drives me mad. I know he's fake. He's so full of shit it's practically coming out of his ears.

"Nothing." I state calmly.

"Awwh, don't be like'at, sweetness."

But despite everything, voice still sends shivers up my spine.

"Like what?" I say for the sake of the conversation, uninterested in the answer. "I'm coming tonight. Why are you ringing me?"

Perhaps he's got some other kind of company with him tonight so I won't be needed. My blood runs cold and my insides turn to lead.

Or is he ringing to tell me, Grimmjow and Nel not to bother showing up? I fight the sudden disappointment that settles in my stomach. I'll have to break the news to them. That's going to be a pain.

"No reason." He replies. I can hear the amusement in his voice. He knows I'm sitting here anxiously waiting for his answer. He's just messing with me. That's all he's ever done. "I just thought I'd see how my love is doing."

"I'm your love? When did you decide this?" I ask lightly, but on the inside I'm so bitter and rotten, I feel like being sick.

"Still angry are we?" I hear him mutter; laughter lacing his words. "Never mind. You'll be there tonight, and you'll like it." He hangs up before I can speak, but really, what can I possibly say to that?

We both know he's right.

Ichimaru Gin is the most manipulative person you will ever meet. Within weeks of first meeting him, he had me naked from the waist down and bent over a table in some dark corner with three fingers up my ass.

I was nine days shy of my 15th birthday.

These past three years have been a learning curve to say the least.

He was there for me when it felt like no one else was. I've been bullied throughout my whole life; many people seem to disagree with my existence. Or at least they did. A lot has changed in recent months and Gin eventually lost interest.

But there was a time when my self-confidence was so low, I was like putty in his hands, lapping up his attention and poisonous words.

Even now, although we're long over, he is still special. I'm drawn to him. I can't turn him down. I can't say no.

If he asked me to run into a burning building, I probably would. The worst part is I couldn't tell you why. I don't think I'll ever understand.

But this past year has been looking up significantly when Nel approached me because she heard I wasn't a half-bad drummer and she was thinking of making a band with a friend of hers.

And so I met Grimmjow, the bane of my fucking existence.

While all of this proved to be very annoying, it ended up being a good distraction.

Gin broke up with me shortly after I first met Nel and when he ignored my existence for four months, I realised this was the true end of everything. He was throwing me away.

I stubbornly refused to have a melt down and so instead spent every waking hour sat behind my drum-set. Nel and Grimmjow joined me and we put our blood, sweat and tears into creating Hueco Mundo. To begin with I was only there to vent my frustration, Grimmjow just wanted to be the centre of attention, and Nel only ever seemed to feel good about herself when she was gripping her base.

Things changed. In time we began to take ourselves more seriously and our fanbase grew; everyone under the age of 25 in Karakura has heard us play or at the very least, is vaguely aware of who we are.

Then, about three weeks ago, Gin suddenly contacted me out of the blue.

I wish I could tell him to fuck off. But really, I wish I wanted to. I've been able to avoid him up until now, but then he upped his game.

He got us a two hour time slot to play at Las Noches. He knows Aizen, the owner, and managed to pull some strings for us.

There were my own feelings for Gin to consider but Las Noches is fucking huge right now and the wonders it could do for our reputation were to good to miss. So I grudgingly accepted, wondering what Gin was trying to prove.

Although Las Noches is a bit more 'up-class' than what most teenagers would usually go for, with it's expensive, sleek interior, and strict no-nonsense security, somehow Aizen has managed to make it appeal to everyone (coughcheapdrinkscough). Which is why this is such a good opportunity. Anyone who's anyone could be there, tucked away in a V.I.P booth or sipping a cocktail in a secluded corner.

I lean back in my seat on the musky bus and gently rest my head against the vibrating window, watching Karakura pass me by.

A small part of me is disappointed in myself for falling for this. Am I really that transparent? Gin knows I'll jump at this chance to play tonight. He knows I'll let him take me home afterwards. He knows I'll let him fuck me like a little bitch.

I hate him for that. But I hate myself even more letting him.

The second time my phone starts ringing I manage to snatch it up before the singing gets too loud.

"Hello Grimmjow."

"Where the hell are you?"

"Inside your mum."

"Oh, fuck you."

"She just did."

I can practically hear the blood vessel ticking in Grimmjow's temple.

"Alright, you bastard, where did you go after class? I was waiting right outside the door."

"I climbed out the window."

"Why? God, you're such a cock."

"I need to get food."

"Whatever. We're outside on the benc-"

I hang up deliberately, cutting Grimmjow off. I can almost picture him in my head swearing at his phone and throwing a hissy fit. He so easy. I'll admit it gives me a deep satisfaction whenever he looses his temper.

Grimmjow is the complete and utter polar opposite of me. Loud, dense, excessively violent. He's a waste of space. His only redeeming qualities are his on-stage charisma and singing voice, as well his ability to melt people's brains with the music he plays. But the rest of the time he's a pain in my ass.

Ha has an annoying habit of waiting for me after any lessons we have together. Then he gets angry when I creep past him unnoticed, leaving him waiting on his own for no one. It's kind of cruel, I guess, but I don't care. I'd do anything to piss him off.

I go to the canteen and buy some lunch, inhaling a baguette, some pizza and a milkshake as I head outside to the benches where Grimmjow and Nel always insist we sit. They are the only people I can really bear to be close to for any extended period of time, and even then it's still a chore. But it's better to sit with them than to float around on my own and have patronising teachers ask me if I'm ok. Yes I'm fine, you morons.

Plus Nel does a cooking class so I almost always get free food out of it.

As I approach, I can already hear Grimmjow arguing with someone about the latest album of some modern indie rock band. I watch as Nel flicks her long green hair over her shoulder and opens a baking tin to reveal a batch of still-warm chocolate-chip cookies. The small crowd gathered around swoops in for a taste and Nel holds one out for me to take with a small smile before they all disappear.

I take it wordlessly and glance around for a spare seat. A girl who sits with us sometimes and whose name I've forgotten jumps to her feet and offers me her seat. How pathetic. I sit down and begin to nibble on Nel's cookie which is like eating an orgasm, if that's even possible. The girl who offered me her seat squishes in with two other girls on another bench and the three of them swoon over me and giggle loudly, as if I can't hear them.

This pisses me off. I miss the seclusion of how things used to be. These past few months since we've begun to gain a bigger reputation amongst Karakura have given birth to obnoxious fans who suddenly want a piece of us. A piece of me. What's worse is that they think they're entitled to it.

I've become popular overnight. Everyone is in love with me. The clothes and makeup I wear suddenly aren't girly or retarded anymore and people have decided I'm actually not a fucking-emo-loser, as I so persistently used to be reminded. Now I'm perceived as shy, mysterious, which everyone seems to find attractive.

I actually feel slightly disgusted because these people don't know me. No ones does, not really. Gin doesn't count. Nel and Grimmjow are peculiar exceptions, but I still feel apart from them.

I don't have a huge problem with people liking me, its just that they are in love with a lie. But I didn't start it. They just misunderstood.

I'm quiet, not shy. Big difference. And while I guess I am sort of mysterious, why is that a good thing? Straightforward people seem to have it easier. There's less room for confusion.

I'm a cold person but only a few people are close enough to me to realise this. I'm calculated as well. Perhaps a little manipulative. But not malicious. I know I'm not a bad person, I'm just a bit of an asshole.

Grimmjow jabs me in the back of my head to get my attention, seeming to not have forgotten me ditching and hanging up on him earlier. I turn around to see him sprawled across the middle of the pick-nick bench giving me the hairy eyeball.

"What did you get Nel, Douche?" I blink at Grimmjow's ever-so-sweet nickname for me.

I don't reply right away. I didn't miss the new delicate green bracelet Nel was wearing. Grimmjow always did have good taste, not that I'd ever admit it out loud.

After 18 long years, Nelliel is finally an adult. This gig in Las Noches has conveniently coincided with her birthday and she seems satisfied with getting drunk in town after we've played.

"Well?" Pressed Grimmjow, raising an eyebrow as his lip curled into a sneer. "You didn't bother, did you." It wasn't a question. I sighed.

"No, I didn't." There was no point in denying it.

Grimmjow just shook his head, his expression falling slightly. He breathed out an exasperated huff and flopped his head down into the crook of his arm. "You idiot." He told me.

"That doesn't mean much coming from you." I gave him a condescending look, expecting him to rise to the bait like he always does. If Grimmjow throws the first punch then that usually gives me a chance to sneak in and knock him on his ass. But to my surprise Grimmjow just eyes me warily.

"I'm not falling for that. It's her birthday, Douche." He pulled away slightly before pausing and giving me a hard look. "Are you really that heartless?"

I shrugged. My face remained in its normal expression of superior indifference, even though that wasn't how I was feeling on the inside. Of all the names I've ever been called, heartless is the only one left that still burns a little. Although I know its just a word. I'm not heartless. Not really. Or am I? Is that why it hurts? Because it has some truth behind it?

"What do you want me to say?" It was meant as a rhetorical question but Grimmjow felt compelled to answer.

"Apologise for being a selfish dick."

My lips twitch in the shadow of a snarl.

"Make me."

We glared at each other for a few more moments before he growled in annoyance and turned away. I did the same but not before I noticed Nel swiftly start up a conversation with one of her friends a few feet away, blinking furiously and forcing a smile. I began to pick at the cookie in my lap.

I wish the world would fit around me instead of me trying and failing to fit in with the world.

Nnoitra flicks through his ipod for some good music before pulling away from the curb.

I'll never take Nnoi or his car for granted. Because he's only got one working eye, his scarred one hidden by a red bandana, he gets a disabled badge that allows him to park wherever the fuck he wants.

As Nel's boyfriend, my brother, a loyal groupie (not to mention the only person we know who owns a car), he's got the job of ferrying us around from place to place and so we get to take full advantage of this.

He complains like you'd expect but it's no real hassle for him since we all hangout with a similar crowd anyway and his life (read: cock) revolves around Nel.

I get comfy in the back of his vandalised blue people-carrier, pulling out some pillows and soft things to sit on since Nnoitra thought it would be smart to rip out all the seats except the driver's and a passenger's seat, which usually belongs to Nel.

Nnoitra is much older than me but it doesn't seem like that most of the time. Usually it's me who has to baby sit him and whenever I stay with him in his flat, I end up cooking, cleaning, and making sure he changes his socks everyday. He's got the mentality of a 7 year old.

I alternate between living with him and my parents. It's annoying having to explain where I disappear to until the wee hours of the morning to mum and dad, and since Nnoitra doesn't care what I do, I'll admit I'm happier staying with him.

Since we are both so used to each other (most of the time) it's pretty smooth sailing. The only thing we really ever argue about is the issue of Nel.

I can't explain why, but the fact that Nnoitra is dating her creeps me out. There's almost a 6 year age gap between them and the whole thing just draws on to many parallels with my relationship with Gin.

"Tomorrow me and Nel are gonna see that film she's been whining about." Nnoitra says after a few minutes.

It's so annoying; he knows I hate the fact that he and Nel are seeing (read: fucking) each other, but he keeps bringing it up in a poor attempt to make me see sense.

I keep my lips firmly shut and glare out the window. I hear Nnoitra sigh with irritation.

"Why don't you and Grimm come too?" He says, trying to make the whole thing seem innocent.

Why? So we can watch you finger Nel in the back of the cinema?

"I know what you're thinking, 'Quiorra." Nnoitra mutters in a low voice. "It's not about sex, or anything like that. I really do like her."

Bullshit.

"Don't just ignore me. Say something." His irritation finally gets the better of him and he runs a hand through his long black hair angrily.

We've stopped at some lights. There is a long silence as we wait for them to change to green.

"You're almost 6 years older than Nel." I say quietly; my voice sounds cold even to my own ears. "What else can you possible have in common except for sex?"

I half expect Nnoitra to turn around and punch me, but instead he curses under his breath and goes unusually quiet. His silence unnerves me .

Nel and Grimmjow live a few houses apart. Grimmjow climbs in the back with me and Nel gets in the front next to Nnoitra. I watch them from the corner of my eye. She leans over to kiss him and he pulls away a little too quickly. I don't miss the brief flash of hurt cross Nel's face, but then she turns to look at me. I quickly turn to Grimmjow and pretend I've always been staring at the dirty window over his shoulder. I feel Nel's eyes boar into me for a few more seconds until she turns around and looks away.

She'll never confront me. She knows me well enough to know what I'll say if she does.

At the club we are able to relax for a bit before needing to set up. Nel orders her first (legal) round of drinks and suitably draws a lot of attention to herself, slinging an arm around my neck and smooching all feeling out of my left cheek.

"What's her beef?" She shouts into my ear over the music, pointing to a dark skinned girl a few people away who began glowering at me as soon as I set foot inside.

"No one you need to worry about." I answer evasively.

Grimmjow appears behind up and tosses an arm around both of our shoulders.

"Halibel's a bit of a sour sweety, huh Douche." He grins at me knowingly and I send him an icy glare as he fills Nel in.

"He fucked her in the disabled toilets in some club somewhere and when he was done he just got up and pissed right off. Didn't say a single word to her. Halibel's been plotting his demise ever since."

I squirm internally as I watch Nel's smile fall for the third time on her own birthday.

"It wasn't like-" But I never finish because some sound tech guy from back stage signals us over to him and we begin to make preparations and set up our equipment.

I'm beginning to get sick of this feeling but I can't quite pin down what it is. It's crept up on me over the past few months and recently it seems to have intensified. Whenever I don't quite meet the pathetically low expectations Nel and Grimmjow have for me, I get really uncomfortable. I refuse to accept it as guilt. They aren't my friends, not really, and I'm not obliged to care about them. They must at least know me well enough to not expect anything from me.

I compose my face and try to concentrate on the wires I'm supposed to be sorting out at the front of the stage. There's already a large crowd as people gather around us to watch.

Just as I finish and make my way to my drum stool at the back of the stage, the water bottle clenched in my fist falls out of my hand, slippery with condensation, and rolls off the stage and into the crowd a few feet below. No one was really paying attention, sipping beers and talking amongst themselves.

I debate leaving it and just getting another one, but then I noticed it by someone's feet and decide to try and reach for it. Just as I kneel and stretch out my hand, it's kicked away by some obscenely drunk bald man. I huff in irritation and pull myself to my feet.

Just as I turn to hunt for another water bottle, I notice an arm stretching out of the crowd. Long fingers curled around my bottle, holding it out for me to take.

I blinked stupidly at it in surprise.

As I reached for it, I brushed fingers with the mysterious owner of the hand and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.

"Thank you." I called as the arm was retracted. I saw a flash of orange before the lights came on and I was ushered to my seat.

Perched at the back of the stage behind my drums I get a good view. I spy Gin sat in a dark corner sipping a drink, looking creepy and sexy. He sees me looking and smiles that smile that makes me want to kiss and strangle him at the same time.

I feel an odd urge to throw my sticks away and stalk over to him, demanding an explanation as to why I was thrown aside; why aren't I good enough?

He raises his glass and tips it slightly, white teeth shining as he nods his head at me. His stare cuts through the crowd and I feel naked. He's doing that thing where he looks at me like I'm food laid out for him to eat and his icy blue gaze sends jolts down my spine.

I sigh and look down at my hands.

This has to stop.

When I glance up again, with the intention of shaking my head or sending him a frown, I notice Halibel is making a beeline for him. I feel my jaw go slightly slack as she crawls into his lap.

No. Fucking. Way.

She's ruined any chances we had of getting back together tonight. Or fucking. Not that I want that, I remind myself. But really, I should have known. Gin, however much he liked to indulge himself with men, always has an incredibly soft spot for women. I always felt like I wasn't enough.

Gin stares at me as he bites Halibel's lower lip and I feel myself go numb, daggers of envy sinking into my chest.

Fuck this. Fuck you. Fuck everyone.

I turn to look at the back's of Nel and Grimmjow who are stood in front of me, both clutching their respective base and electric. Grimmjow growls something into the microphone in a husky voice and the crowd begins to get restless. He works them up for a few seconds, because that's all it takes.

Then they both glance back at me and despite everything, I'm so glad I have them with me right now because otherwise I think I'd probably crumble into dust.

I allow some gratitude to slip through my mask of indifference and their identical expressions of confidence and determination remind me that I can do this with or without Gin and it really isn't the end of the world.

The whole room looks at me as I tap my sticks together in a naked beat, counting us in.

"ONE, TWO, THREE...!" I scream.

We plunge straight into the first song. My blood begins to rage down every vein and vessel in my body. From the tips of my fingers to the ends of my hair, it feels like I'm being electrified.

Sweat begins to form on my skin, smudging my make-up and rolling down my back. My muscles are singing from the exertion but I can't bring myself to give a flying fuck about anything right now.

We don't look like much to be taken seriously on the outside; Grimmjow with his cocky attitude and blue hair, Nel with her huge boobs and ever so slight lisp, me with my emo dress code and heavy black make-up.

But being with them on stage like this reminds me why I put up with them.

I feel like I was born for this. For this moment. For the music.

What do you think?