A/N—This story has been co-written by myself and The-Lady-Isis. We switched back and forth in the writing with myself taking the girl conversations and Isis taking the boys. It is a bit of an homage (or blatant rip-off whichever you prefer) to one of our favorite shows, Coupling. Please forgive the mild OOCness of the characters for humor's sake. Oh and thanks to Grendle 1853 for giving us the plot bunny on the Batman Wonder Woman Forum. Please read and review

Disclaimer—All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Gotcha

It made such an innocuous sound. Just a little slapping noise has the paper hit the surface of the table. Not threatening at all. Yet Bruce picked it up with trembling fingers. Thick envelope, embossed with a crest on the back, a sheet of card inside, curling, silver calligraphy …

Dear God.

"In the field of human relationships," he said abruptly as he, Flash and Aquaman queued up in line at the commissary early that evening, "what is the most frightening thing that can come through your door?"

Arthur thought about it for a second. "The Kracken."

Batman blinked. "I'm sorry?"

Selina glared at the thick envelope in her hand as she entered the office building. Isis, who was resting in her purse, gave a little mew and Selina absentmindedly stroked her between the ears. At the same time upstairs in the offices of the Wonder Woman Foundation, Etta Candy sat with her head resting on the desk. She had stopped banging it moments before, as she didn't want to have to explain why she had a bruise on her forehead.

She raised her head as someone knocked on her office door. "Come in," Etta yelled as she started to search through her desk for the bottle of sake that was sent by the Japanese Embassy last Christmas. She paused in her search as Selina sat in the chair in front of her desk. "What is the single most depressing thing you can ever get in the mail?" Etta asked as she resumed her search.

"Looks like you got one too," Selina stated as she held up a thick envelope.

"It was years ago," Arthur explained casually, "Kracken, right through the palace doors."

Batman shook his head. World's Greatest Detective, but even he couldn't connect a giant squid to what he'd been talking about. "Sorry, what's a kracken got to do with relationships exactly?"

"Mera, she was riding it, right into the palace in Atlantis! Could've killed someone!"

Flash raised both eyebrows, his mouth slightly open. " Was she okay?"

"She was furious! I was on land at the time," he added with a slight smirk.

Bruce rolled his eyes and pressed the corresponding button on the machine for his coffee. "So, just guessing there was an element of tension at that point in your relationship?"

Aquaman shrugged and said, "Well, she was jealous because an ambassador from the Lake Victoria kept flirting with me."

"An ambassador?" Bruce asked. It didn't seem very professional. He certainly couldn't imagine Diana – or any of her colleagues – acting that way.

"So it was her fault then?" Wally asked. "It was nothing to do with you?"

"Exactly, yeah. In fairness to the ambassador though, if it hadn't have been for her, I wouldn't have been on land …"

With another cocky smirk, the King of Atlantis left the line, swaggering slightly. Wally shuddered a bit, then turned back to Batman. "So what came through your door then?"

"Koreans!"

At Diana's shout, Bruce looked up from the rest of the mail. He couldn't think of a single reason Diana would be shouting out random nationalities. "What?"

"I've got a meeting with a diplomatic party from Seoul in my office today," she said quickly, looking frazzled as she threw her cell phone on the table. She started to hurriedly sort through the papers in her briefcase. "It was really important and I completely forgot! Damn, damn, damn!" Then her cell phone rang eliciting a, "Cursed Hades," before she picked it up again.

Once all three men had their beverages, they sat down together at one table. Actually, Bruce sat down without issuing any invitation for the others to follow suit. But they did anyway.

He sighed, thoughts returning to Diana and what had arrived that morning. "You know what's it's like one year into a relationship, yeah?"

That drew blank looks from both of them.

"Nope."

"Nah."

Though Arthur had recently married, it had been fairly whirlwind. Or whirlpool, anyway; he and Mera had only met a few months ago and she decided immediately that they should marry. After denying him sex for two weeks he had agreed. And as for Flash…Bruce wasn't sure he'd actually ever had a real girlfriend. He wasn't sure if he had ever gone on a real date.

He gritted his teeth in frustration and continued. "Try and imagine then. Right, one year into a relationship, what would be the most frightening thing that could land on your doorstep?"

"You mean, what could be the most frightening thing that your butler could bring to you?" Flash asked.

Batman glared.

Both women sat for a moment and staring at the invitation and sipping their sake.

"Dinah and Ollie," Etta said.

"Good old Dinah and Ollie," Selina repeated.

"I'm happy for them," Etta stated.

"So am I," Selina added.

"So very happy for them," Etta repeated and took another drink. "Happy, happy, happy."

"Mmhmm," Selina agreed.

"She is such a nice girl. She was always helpful to me when I worked for the Department of Metahuman Affairs," Etta said.

"Yeah, she even invited me to join the Birds of Prey after I reformed," Selina said but at Etta's sardonic look smirked and amended, "Mostly reformed."

Both women sighed and took a long pull of their drinks.

"She is younger than us, isn't she?" Selina asked rhetorically.

"It wasn't, technically speaking, her turn was it?" Etta added.

"No, but she bagged one anyway and a billionaire to boot," Selina said. "God bless her."

"I'd settle for a guy with a job," Etta sighed.

"Who is also great in bed," Selina added as she licked her lips and took another sip of her drink.

"Really that isn't too much for two attractive and successful women to ask for," Etta growled.

"Seriously what are we supposed to do. Screw every flyboy or superhero we can in the hopes one is dumb enough knock us up and marry us," Selina ranted.

"No of course not," Etta said.

"Well I don't hear you coming up with a better idea," Selina stated. At Etta's shocked expression, she started to laugh which made Etta laugh too.

"So there it is. A time bomb. A… A putting-thoughts-into-your-long term-girlfriend's-head…bomb," he finished, not meaning to emphasize the last part but doing it anyway. "Just ticking away, right there in my hand! And it's not even like that's an irregular occurrence for me!"

Flash looked confused. "Yeah but you want to marry Diana, don't you?"

"Yeah, I mean…we'd pretty much written you off," Arthur put in.

"Totally," Wally nodded.

Batman looked between them, feeling a little trapped. "Of course I want to, yes. I don't want not to marry her… I don't want anyone else to marry her, but… It's like death." As soon as he'd said it, he wanted to take the similie back as it was the stupidest thing in the world he could have said.

Aquaman choked on his drink. "Death?"

"Yeah, you accept that it's coming, but you get uncomfortable when people start talking dates," Bruce said, hastening to explain himself.

"Okay, important thing," Wally interrupted. "When you told Diana about the invitation, could she tell what you were thinking? Did you give anything away?"

Bruce thought back. "Um…"

Arthur put his head in his hands. "How bad?"

Bruce took a large gulp of his coffee as he looked at the invitation Alfred had placed next to his breakfast plate. He looked at his friend and mentor and could have sworn he saw a smirk cross his face before he turned away. He glanced at Diana, his girlfriend of almost a year, as she argued in French with someone on her cell phone.

You are cordially invited to the wedding of Dinah Laurel Lance and Oliver Queen... For some reason he was feeling unsettled by the thought of them getting married. Or more simply the thought of marriage. He again glanced at Diana, who gave him a distracted smile, before resuming her conversation. He knew he loved her with all his heart but did he want to get married? Would seeing the invitation put ideas in Diana's head about them getting married?

He was torn between hiding the invitation and showing it to her. He gulped some more of his coffee and decide to lay it next to her plate. He would be casual about it, he decided. No doubt she would be hearing about it as soon as she went to the Watchtower and she would then question why he'd kept it from her. That was a question he wanted to avoid.

She hung up her phone with an angry sigh. "Great Hera, the head of the French delegation to the UN World Peace Conference is a pompous ass."

"Oh, really?" Bruce responded grateful to talk about anything but the wedding invitation next to her plate.

Diana took a sip of her coffee before responding. "He had the nerve to try and cut out Themyscira from participating! He claimed Themyscira was too small and too new to the UN to have any say. Too new, hah! Themyscira was a civilized nation when his ancestors were still animal skin-wearing barbarians."

"Yes, he does sound like an ass. Did you get him to change his mind?" Bruce said, his tension easing. He figured Diana was too angry to care much about the invitation.

"No, but I will just go over his head. I have plenty of friends who like having Wonder Woman as an ally," she said with another sigh as she took a bite of her omelet. She glanced to the side of her plate and saw the invitation.

Bruce struggled with something to distract her from reading it and settled on, "You go girl." He then instantly cringed internally at how stupid he sounded.

Diana gave him a funny look before saying, "Bruce, please don't try to sound like Tim. It sounds completely idiotic to hear his speech coming from your mouth."

Bruce could feel the heat rising up his neck but before he could say anything she continued, "Oh, Ollie and Dinah are getting married. That's nice. They're a good couple."

"I can't believe Oliver 'Chases anything in a skirt' Queen had the guts to ask her. Guess he made her wait long enough though," Bruce said.

"It hasn't been that long. They started dating after we did," she stated as she bit into her toast.

There were many reasons Bruce was a brooding, silent type of guy; one being that he tended to swallow his foot whenever he spoke without thinking. "Are you sure? I seem to recall them being together long before we started a relationship."

"Oh I'm positive. I remember talking with Dinah about their first date over coffee in the cafeteria. You and I had been dating at least a month by then," Diana stated.

"Well they aren't as busy as we are so they spend more time together. And you were gone a whole month negotiating that peace treaty in the Vegan system. So technically they have been together longer," Bruce said in a panicked rush.

Diana was looking at him like he had two heads. "If you say so, Bruce. Anyway I have a meeting at the UN, then another at the embassy and then I am meeting Etta at the Foundation. I can meet you for dinner at seven. Does that work for you?"

At Bruce's blank expression, Alfred intervened on his behalf. "That is perfect Miss Diana. Master Bruce has made reservations at Nobu for half past seven for your anniversary dinner."

Diana gave Bruce a huge smile. "Bruce, how thoughtful of you to remember that our first date was in Japan. You are just so sweet." She leaned across the table and gave him a passionate kiss. All Bruce knew was that he owed Alfred a huge raise. He had completely forgotten that today was the one-year anniversary of them starting to date.

Diana pulled away with a smile and said, "I have to be off." She grabbed her briefcase and headed toward the entrance to the cave where her invisible jet was parked.

As soon as the entrance clicked shut, Bruce said, "Thank you Alfred, I owe you one."

"You owe me far more than one, sir. But someone had to save you from making a complete ass of yourself. Spend more time together indeed," Alfred replied with a sardonic tone.

You gotta love Alfred, Bruce would seriously be dead by now without him. If you like please let us know.