Forgive the long AN. It's kind of important.

The story behind the story (since there's always a story) is that back in probably early 2006 I came across a number of fanfictions, in numerous fandoms (primarily Inuyasha), that...glamorized rape. I got disgusted. I got angry. I broke out my laptop and slammed out several paragraghs. Yes, this is a retaliation fanfic more than anything. As a victim of domestic violence myself, it disgusted me that people would gloss over the emotional scarring the experience leaves behind. This is not so much about the actual rape, but the effects it has on the psyche of the victim and those around them.

I'm a fluffy writer. Most everyone who reads anything I write will agree with that assessment. I like portraying the humorous side of life. I like the positives. I like love and the warm fuzziness that goes with it. That said, this is not a warm-and-fuzzy-feeling story. This is a depressing story. That's why it's sat on my hard drive for nearly 6 years unfinished. I showed a rough sketch of it on my livejournal in mid-2007. I've done some editing, some expanding, and hopefully I've completed it to the satisfaction of others. Life's messy. There's no such thing a tied up loose ends. It's taken a lot for me the post this here.

Of course, standard disclaimers apply.

Ruined: A story of brokenness and redemption

Part I

The years of war had given way to years of peace and security. Families returned, homes rebuilt, and society reestablished itself. Edo became Tokyo and life continued. The years passed with few upsets in the new era. The city stirred when rumor grew of the Hitokiri Battousai wandering the streets. Unrest grew to a fever pitch when the rumor proved true and then settled into bemused confusion when Hitokiri Battousai was shown to be a diminutive man with flaming red hair and a friendly smile. And so, the 11th year of Meiji passed into autumn. New troubles rose and the fear of Hitokiri Battousai gave way to new terror of gangs robbing and targeting women and young girls in particular.

With the deepening shadows spreading across the city, most the the citizens retreated to the safety of homes and locked doors for the evening. Shouts and curses rose in a narrow, abandoned street followed by a woman's cry of pain and fear. A few stragglers paused, surprised when a young woman crashed around the corner, hair disheveled and clothing rumpled and torn. She ignored all she passed, intent on running. Seconds later, a group of men rounded the same corner, anger on their faces. Blood streamed from one man's nose and he swiped it away angrily.

"Get back here, you little slut!"

She dodged the rough hands that grabbed at her—ignoring the rip of cloth as she wrenched free—colliding with the side of a building, gasping in pain and reeling with dizziness. She hurt in places she didn't even know existed. She kicked out when they reached for her again, landing a lucky strike to a sensitive area, if the bellow of pain was anything to go by. She didn't wait to see the damage she'd inflicted and bolted.

"She's getting away!"

"I know that, idiot!"

Clasping a hand to her side, she ran, turning corners and fleeing down alleys, her feet pounding heavily on the packed dirt road. She had to escape. She had to hide before they found her. She had to get away. She tripped over a broken and discarded bucket, crashing to the ground with a cry of pain when the impact jarred her wounded shoulder. She forced herself to her feet. She had to keep moving. Blood stung her eyes, streaking down her cheek and soaking into the collar of her ruined kimono. Temporarily blinded, she stumbled into the corner of a nearby building. Pain shot through her battered body and a soft cry left her. Shouts rose closer and she pushed away, gaining her feet again. Her mind cried out for help, but her mouth wasn't able to form the words.

They couldn't be far behind her. They'd already caught her once. What more could they want? She ducked around a corner and crouched behind a heap of trash, her breath coming in sharp pants, tearing at her bruised throat. Tears leaked from her eyes as she struggled to cover herself with the shreds of her kimono. She didn't know why she tried so hard anymore. Her life was over, but instinct fought for survival. Her hands shook uncontrollably and she gave up, stuffing a hand in her mouth to mute her sobs. She didn't have the strength to fight them again.

She could hear them looking for her, cursing when they were unable to see where she'd gone. Too close. They were too close. She crouched lower to the ground, attempting to make herself as small as possible. Tremors shook her body and tears course down her cheeks. She was ruined now. She choked back a sob, huddling closer to the wall as she waited for the men to pass.

What felt like hours passed with nothing but pain and terrifying memories to occupy her mind. Silence fell over the street but she knew better than to emerge yet. They might be waiting to ambush her when she believed she was safe. She waited. It was the only choice she had. Fear kept her immobile.

Gradually, the sun sank low over the western horizon and she took her chance. Slowly creeping from her hiding place, she cautiously peered around the corner. The street was deserted, but that didn't mean she was alone. Just a few more streets and she'd be safe.

She ran.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Megumi shooed the last of the young men out of the clinic, sighing with exhaustion. They wouldn't give up their pursuits. Couldn't they tell that she just wanted to treat her patients? She didn't need a man to come in and rescue her from a "man's job." She didn't want to sink back into oblivion, raising children and putting food on the table. She snorted, sweeping long, dark locks over her shoulder. She wasn't some weak little flower they thought needed care and protection. Lowering the bar across the gate, she returned to the clinic. She survived on her own this long, after all. A wry smile pulled at red lips. Perhaps that wasn't quite true. Leaving the shoji open to let in the warm night breeze, Megumi greeted the elderly doctor with a smile. "Gensai-sensei, that was the last of them. I'll close the clinic tonight so you can go home."

The elderly doctor grinned at her, pushing himself to his feet and shuffling toward her. "Thank you, Meguni-san. Don't stay here too late. You need rest before seeing to the patients tomorrow."

Megumi smiled and nodded, turning to clean her workspace in preparation for the next day. "I'll just straighten up first. See if I need to go to the market tomorrow."

"Very well. Good night, Megumi-san."

Gensai left the clinic to cross the yard to the small house that was tucked into a corner on the same property. As the stillness of the evening settled, Megumi could feel the muscles in her neck relax and the tension leave her body. This was her favorite time of day. She valued the short hours she had alone to relax and let her mind wander. Too bad it wandered all too often to that annoying rooster-headed street fighter. He seems to have a knack for finding trouble. She was surprised he made it this far in life without getting himself killed. A small frown pulled at her lips. Kenshin might have something to do with it. He kept the idiot alive when he should've been killed too many time for her to count. At least the worst of the battles seemed to be over. Megumi knelt at the table to concentrate on mixing powders. The methodic preparations for the next day were soothing. The clinic's gate was closed and locked so she didn't have to worry about people wandering in while she was alone. She gave a nod of finality when she jarred and sealed the las balm for the evening and was startled by a frantic banging at the gate. Curious, she rose and drifted toward the gate before suddenly becoming apprehensive. It was common knowledge that she worked late at the clinic and who knew what the visitor wanted. Gensai was really no protection if someone wished harm. She scowled at herself. Since when did she become a coward? She could take care of herself despite that whole Kanryu business. She squared her shoulders. If it was Sanosuke about his hand again she just might cut it off. "Who's there?"

She didn't have long to wait before she found out. She couldn't fail to note the tone of desperation in the voice. "Megumi? Megumi you've got to help me."

Alarmed, she threw back the bar and hauled the heavy door open. She thought situations like this had ended with Enishi's Jinchuu. Just how many enemies did that man have? Blinding panic gripped her, choking the air from her lungs. Kenshin wouldn't be able to survive another similar attack. "What is it, Kaoru? Is it Ken—Oh, kami."

Her words died when she saw the young kendo instructor. Kaoru stood leaning against the gate post, her chest heaving with great, gasping breaths. Megumi was accustomed to Kaoru's nontraditional and sometimes eccentric behavior, but the dark bruise marring her left cheek and the ragged appearance of her kimono as well as the tears welling in her eyes took the doctor aback. Womanly sense told her that something terrible was wrong. This wasn't the result of a kendo skirmish that got a little out of hand. Dread filled her as hushed whispers from the men that drifted through the clinic fluttered through her mind. They'd never directly told her what the rumor was but she had a good idea. She'd seen many broken women, but she never guessed that Kaoru would be one of them. Kaoru had more of a fighting chance than the others. She could be a force to be reckoned with when she put her mind to it. Kaoru staggered through the gate, breath hitching and tears choking her voice. "Megumi—"

Megumi caught her as her legs collapsed and she quickly helped Kaoru into the clinic. Kaoru clung to Megumi's clothes like a life-line. Megumi settled the sobbing young woman on the clinic's futon and scurried about making tea before turning to Kaoru. Now that Kaoru was in decent light, she was worse than Megumi originally thought. The bruise slowly forming on her left cheek looked like it would be dark and her lip was split. Bruising spread from her left eye up to her forehead where a cut at her hairline had spread blood down her cheek and neck and into the collar of her kimono. Beneath the blood on her neck, Megumi could make out the beginnings of a hand-shaped bruise. Apparently, whomever attacked Kaoru was forced to subdue her quite violently. No doubt Kaoru fought tooth and nail and Megumi had the distracted hope that they fared worse than Kaoru for their endevour. The heart-wrenching sobs that continued to come from Kaoru tore at Megumi and any playful teasing that existed between the two women vanished. Megumi shifted forward, hands hovering over Kaoru's quaking form, afraid to cause any further injury. "Kaoru, what happened?"

Haunted sapphire eyes met her gaze and Megumi felt her stomach drop and a cold sweat break out. She had hoped… but Kaoru was shattering before her eyes. "They―they―I couldn't―"

She didn't need to finish. Megumi knew what happened and she hated that it had to happen to someone she'd come to think of as family. She carefully hugged Kaoru before turning and retrieving a cup of tea. She placed it in Kaoru's hand, curling stiff fingers around the cup. There were things she needed to do to ensure Kaoru's recovery. Things she had to prepare the rest of their odd family for. But first: "Drink this. It'll calm you. I'm here."

Kaoru's trembling nearly upset the teacup and Megumi cupped her hands around hers to steady cup. Kaoru drank mechanically and in a matter of minutes her sobs slowed and her eyes drooped. Megumi held her hand as the sedative took effect, gently smoothing blood soaked hair back from her face. Kaoru struggled for a moment before giving up and slipping into a drug induced sleep. "I'm sorry…Ken…shin…"

Once Kaoru was completely out, Megumi allowed her own tears to slip. She did not pity the pain the men would be in when Kenshin caught up with them and she had no doubts that Kenshin would find them. He was, after all, fiercely protective of what was his and, despite his insistence to remain a wanderer—though he didn't appear to have plans to wander any time soon—he seemed to have accepted their unusual group as family. She quickly set to work cleaning and patching Kaoru's injuries. Kaoru had to be taken care of before she went to the Kamiya dojo to break the news. But, if she knew Kenshin, he'd probably get here before she had the chance to leave. She half hoped he'd wait. She had to collect herself.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Kenshin stood on the porch of the Kamiya house, violet eyes gazing intently toward the gate. The sun had set not too long ago and Kaoru had not returned for dinner. Kenshin was restless, an unsettling feeling tugging at his senses. Kaoru rarely returned after dark and she'd made certain to return early after hearing the rumors in the market. Kenshin frowned. Unsettling rumors.

Yahiko greedily eyed the uneaten meal Kenshin had left on the table. "Oi! Kenshin, you going to eat that?"

The ex-assassin ignored the young boy and Yahiko shrugged, reaching over to snag Kenshin's untouched food. The unease grew within the rurouni. A cool wind blew and he turned slightly to regard the direction it blew from before shifting his sakabatou and stepping toward the gate. Yahiko grunted, pausing as he shoveled food into his mouth to watch him go. "Where are you going?"

He gave Yahiko an easy smile, hiding the growing concern behind a sunny mask. "I'm going to find Kaoru-dono. She has not returned and it is getting late, that it is."

Yahiko scowled, setting down his chopsticks and coming out onto the porch. "Why do you worry about her? Busu can take care of herself."

"All the same, this one is concerned that she has not returned."

Yahiko looked as if he were about to argue when Kenshin's eyes snapped toward the gate and a moment later Sanosuke rushed through, looking around the yard. "Is Jou-chan here?"

Yahiko frowned, staring at Sanosuke in confusion. Kenshin's eyes flashed briefly, his hand tightening around the hilt of the sakabatou, and Sanosuke stepped back at the murderous look that entered his eyes. "What happened?"

Sanosuke wasted no time explaining what he'd overheard. "Two guys were talking about a sword wielding girl they'd…been playing with. Apparently they lost her and were…"

He trailed off when Kenshin vanished before he could finish. The fighter-for-hire blinked rapidly, glancing over his shoulder at the gate that still stood open. Kenshin was gone without a word and there'd be no catching up with him. Yahiko's eyes widened and he paled, staggering backward a step or two. Sanosuke quickly turned to him. Yahiko's thoughts tumbled over themselves. He could remember his mother's broken cries, the bruises, and her fading smiles. "Kaoru...is Kaoru okay?"

Sanosuke smiled uneasily at the boy, showing more bravado than he felt. "I'm sure she's perfectly fine. Jou-chan can take care of herself, right?"

Yahiko didn't look comforted and he sank down to the porch, waiting anxiously for Kenshin's return. He would not be resting until he saw both Kenshin and Kaoru return safely to the dojo.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Megumi just finished wrapping Kaoru's broken hand when the red-haired swordsman rushed in with a swirl of autumn air. She jumped, startled at his sudden appearance but didn't expect any less. She half expected him to arrive sooner and, since she hadn't heard the gate, she assumed he jumped the wall. She stood quickly, blocking his way to Kaoru's side. The glare he leveled on her made her flinch, but she remained firm. Kenshin wasn't about to hurt her and she wasn't an enemy. "I need to speak to you, Ken-san."

He didn't say anything but his eyes traveled to the futon he could just see behind her. He was clearly retreating behind the mask he'd worn as Battousai and she reached out to touch his arm, to draw him back to the present―to draw him out of the past. "She's sedated. She'll wake in half an hour or so."

He seemed to weigh her words and, with one last searching look at Kaoru, nodded and stepped back out of the room when Megumi motioned for him to move. She stepped out with him, carefully sliding the fusuma closed behind her. She wanted more time. She wanted to forget. She wanted to cry. Gathering her thoughts and pushing aside feelings that welled up inside, she faced Kenshin. If the former hitokiri had been the pacing type, she was sure he'd be wearing a hole in the floor. As it was, he stood silently, his anxiety only betrayed by the white-knuckled grip he had on his sakabatou. She sighed and Kenshin stiffened, somehow sensing the worst. "Is she okay?"

His face remained expressionless but his voice had a hard edge to it, the only hint of the anger that lurked beneath the surface. Megumi's eyes teared and she looked away, hugging her arms to herself. "It's hard to say. Kaoru has a strong spirit, but these types of things tend to break people. She―she fought them. They didn't take her easily."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Kenshin lower his head to hide his eyes with his bangs. The grip he had on his sakabatou shifted as if to draw and she would hazard a guess that his eyes took on the golden-eyed gleam of the hitokiri. Megumi held her breath, unsure if he would turn and hunt down the men responsible or remain at the clinic. She had a feeling that if he left now, he'd break his no killing vow and she wondered how she was going to prevent it—or if she even wanted to—but, suddenly, his hand relaxed and his head tilted toward the fusuma. A moment later Megumi heard a soft whimper. Kaoru was waking up. Before she could stop him, Kenshin stepped around her and slid the fusuma open. A sound of protest escaped her but was silenced at the look he gave her before he slid the fusuma closed again. It was best to not push Kenshin tonight. His control was thin enough already. She stared silently at the rice screen before turning away. She'd return to her work and, perhaps, she'd get some sleep. Though she doubted it would be very restful.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Kenshin's fingers tightened on the wood of the rice screen, waiting until he felt Megumi move away before turning into the room. He wasn't sure what he expected to find when he first felt Kaoru's trembling ki as he approached the clinic. The relief he felt that she was alive nearly made him stumble over the clinic's walls. But anger and fear were quick on the heels of that relief. That she would come here instead of home spoke much of her condition.

Kenshin crossed the room on quiet feet, sinking down beside Kaoru's still form. He'd lived through a gruesome war, saw and even participated in some terrible acts, but the sight of Kaoru's bruised and beaten skin caused bile to rise in his throat. Guilt weighed him down even as rage threatened to burst forth. Part of him wanted to hunt down the men that harmed her like the animals they were, but the greater part wanted to stay by her side. She moved restlessly, pain marring her features. She was waking and it was obvious that it wasn't a pleasant experience.

He frowned, passing a whisper of a touch over the bruise on her check, tracing over her jaw to linger on the one on her throat. He scowled, tilting his head to get a better look. His hand covered it, observing how she had been held before snatching it back as if he'd been burned. Megumi had replaced her clothing, he'd seen the pile of discarded, torn cloth when he entered. Kenshin could see the bandages through the thin yukata Kaoru now wore. He was sure she had other injuries he couldn't see.

A sharp jerk and a low moan of pain brought Kenshin's eyes back to Kaoru's face and he held his breath. He'd seen what happened to abused women before and he wasn't going to let that happen to Kaoru.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Blackness receded to a dark gray and Kaoru groaned, whimpering slightly when pain shot through her. Pain in places she'd never before had pain, places she hadn't even known existed before now. She tried opening her eyes but everything was blurry and the dim light from the candle hurt so she closed them again. Even breathing hurt. A feather light touch on her hand made her aware that she was not alone and she flinched, a fearful whine escaping her before she could suppress it. The touch pulled away and she opened her eyes, turning her head slightly. Color invaded her senses, a red blur and, for a moment, nothing else. The candle shifted and dimmed slightly and her vision cleared. Kenshin knelt by her side, wide, violet eyes watching her intently. His expression softened as she recognized him, his words quiet and soothing, "Kaoru-dono, you're awake. I've been worried."

He watched tears fill her eyes before she turned away, trying to hide her face. The feather-like touch was back a moment before he grasped her hand. She tried to pull free but he kept a firm hold. Kaoru went limp, keeping her face turned away. "Go away, Kenshin."

"I cannot, Kaoru-dono." She felt him shift before she felt the coolness of his hair caress her hand as he bowed. "Gomen nasi, Kaoru-dono."

She turned to look at him, her breath catching in a sharp sob. "For what?"

Guilt-ridden violet eyes looked up at her from beneath a fringe of fiery hair. "This unworthy one failed to protect you."

He released her hand when she tugged it, sitting back and fully expecting rejection but was surprised when she reached for him, seeking comfort. He hesitated only a moment before gathering her close to himself, allowing her to cry into his chest. He buried his face in her hair, trying to control his own tears when each one of hers tore at him. She clutched at him desperately, sobbing apologies into his gi in a wordless keen. He rocked her carefully, whispering, "I am here. I won't leave you, Kaoru-dono."

Eventually, her sobs subsided and she fell into an exhausted sleep. Kenshin continued to hold her, keeping watch over her sleep and soothing nightmares away. Near morning, Megumi checked in to see how Kaoru was doing before leaving a tray of food and closing the door to open the clinic for the day's patients. Kenshin would see to Kaoru's needs with greater skill than herself at this point.