Okay so I was hit with another plot bunny and had to get this out…I was minding my own business driving home when Adele's… Someone Like You came on and Bella started screaming in my ear to tell her story…
I lost sleep and became a bit withdrawn as her emotions kept going through me and when I just needed to tell someone… I looked to two of my closest friends Kyla and Steph and they loved the idea and pushed me to write this puppy…
Disclaimer: This story will have very harsh at points. There will be heart wrenching moments… I warn you now. You may hate a character or two but I promise no matter how bad it gets … there will be an HEA…. I believe everyone deserves a second chance and so this will be a journey of growth, humility, and finding the simple joys in life… the things that truly matter.
I need to thank my team… Stephanie, Kyla, Rachel, Bev, and Cheryl. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know I hit you all with so many chapters last week. You never once complained, you just guys held my hand as I poured my heart out with this… I couldn't do this without all the love and helpful, encouraging words you always have for me… I truly love you all!
It Isn't Over… Yet
Prologue
Song for chapter
Adele- Someone Like You
Bella's POV
I used to be a happy person. I grew up in a home with my crazy scattered-brained mother and over protective father that loved me beyond comprehension. They both doted on me, always took time at night to do my homework with and or play board games after dinner. I never went to bed without my dad reading me a bed time story and telling me "You'll always be my little girl, Bell's, no matter what happens in life. I'll always be here to chase away the monsters and catch you when you fall. This I promise you my sweet angel."
I was truly the epitome of daddy's little girl.
And I believed him; never did I doubt his love or question his decisions when he forced us to move away. Maybe things would have been different for me, if I would have questioned things instead of just going with the flow. Maybe I would have been spared this never ending hole that now resides in the middle of my chest. Maybe I would have found love and not been dealt the life altering heartbreak that I just can't get over.
No matter how many years it's been since that night, I just can't get over it.
Instead we simply packed our shit and moved, following him as he chased down his dreams of more. And in the end that's what led us here to the small city of Naples, Florida.
You see he was offered the position of chief of police there, with a 'big' bump in his pay. It was his dream to hold that type of position within the community he lived, and as such my mother and I supported him without second thought.
God how I wished my mother would have said something when she wasn't completely sold on the idea. Or if I had spoken up about how sad I was to leave the friends and family I had in our old home.
Instead we stayed silent and moved, to a place where everything was sunny and different from everything we once knew.
The weather was always warm and humid; long gone were the days of horrible winter storms and equally as horrible clothes. And even though I hated the cold wet environment we once called home, I missed it now more than anything.
It didn't take long for my mother fall in love with the town and within the first week she had a new best friend named Esme Cullen. She seemed nice, sweet and had three children of her own. Two boys and one girl made up the Cullen trio. Because of the new friendship between the two of them; my house was always filled with her children.
As my relationship grew with her children, so did my popularity within their little group of friends. Pretty soon the chief's house was the place to be as a kid. Boy would that change, as we grew older.
It was as if no matter what, we found ourselves in trouble for one reason or another.
All off a sudden the chief was the 'authority' and the old hangout became just… 'My' home again.
I grew to love them all very much, don't get me wrong they were the first to accept me with open arms. We were all so different but the same in many ways.
Alice was the youngest; with a small frame, jet black hair, big blue eyes that screamed with innocence yet held crazy ideas all at the same time. She was our lookout. She kept us all in check, and made sure our plans on teenage rebellion didn't end with us in the back seat of my father cruiser.
Emmett was the oldest, the muscle of the group, and biggest trouble maker there was. His pranks were legendary, and if you happen to be on the receiving end, well….let's just say you ended up praying that you didn't end up bald like Mike did that one year. Okay, that one was actually really fun to watch.
Mike was a jerk, but I digress.
And then, there was him.
He was the man behind all the plans. His intelligence and good looks never made you question him. All the adults' would see him as the responsible one, the one that had his head on straight and would go places in life. But to us, he was Edward, my boyfriend and the leader amongst us.
Then there was me, I was the leader's girl. The one every girl wanted to be, and who could get dear ol' daddy to let her friends go with a warning, if and when they were caught.
You could say we were a tight group.
At least I thought so…
We were inseparable from the time we met, till we parted ways…
I just couldn't maintain a friendship with his family after he left me, I just couldn't bear to see them everyday and not breakdown.
Everything they said, everything they did, everything I saw was about him and his memory. I just couldn't face them without having to become an actress. For me it was to much work to even say hello without completely falling apart.
So ties were severed and friendships were lost to nothing more but a distant memory of what once was.
But what hurt the most was losing the faith I had in my daddy's promise to keep the monsters away. I lost all faith in him the day my heart was torn out of my chest. All because he wasn't there to stop the monster, from destroying me.
The way the monster treated me that fateful day only showed his true colors, to me his heart was black. He went about his way not caring whose world he crumbled, as long as he came out on top.
One would think you don't kick someone while they are down, but I guess that's a lesson reserved for those with heart. Because he didn't just stop and break my heart, no, that would have been too nice of him. He took my belief in men, my trust in my father's word and my best friend all at the same time.
Don't get me wrong I curse him to the fiery pits off hell for all this pain, but losing my best friend Alice, who was his little sister was almost as bad-as his absence in my life.
Alice and I did everything together, and I do mean everything.
We went to the same schools, had the same classes, and shopped together. We both had boyfriends that were both seniors and we loved them more than anything in this world.
We went as far as to plan joint weddings, picked baby names, and planned our careers so we could work together. Because we swore it would happen, just as everything else had happened between us.
But the bastard took that… too.
The first year with out him nearly killed me. I lost weight, pushed my friends away and never spoke a word to my father.
Yep that year was loads of fun for me.
The second one was much of the same, but I made a friend.
Lauren became one of the only two people I let in and trusted with everything. She never once let me push her away, she stood firm and demanded I quit in her words 'Letting that prick continue to ruin my life.'
We were total opposites, while I was a fair complexioned brunette, with dark brown hair and curves; she was a tall, skinny blonde with a tan that looked more orange than sun kissed.
She brought me back in a way. Always pushing me to love again and I owe everything that I am now, to her.
The third year, I learned to laugh again and welcomed Peter into our duo, becoming a trio of our own.
College definitely changed my life.
Peter was and is the brother I always wished for but never had. I thank the Lord he came into my life and brought some sun back into what had turned cold and lifeless. He made me live again, even when I refused to.
Because of him I forgave my father even when I knew deep down it wasn't his fault. I just needed someone to blame, I realize that now.
And now even though I'm still jaded, it warms my heart to be daddy's little girl again. I never knew how much I missed being hugged by his arms, hearing he loved me, til I broke down and begged him to forgive me.
But being my father he just shushed me and said "You will always be my little Bell's and I love you. There is nothing to forgive angel."
My fourth year was where my world as I knew it was flipped.
From the day he left til this very day I write my feelings in journals that I hold dear to my heart. I laid bare all my pain in journals. These were my most intimate thoughts; all my pain and abandonment laid there for only me to see, my insecurities and little self-esteem shown brightly through every line written.
I never thought what was supposed to be a fun night out, in a coffee shops' open mic night, would drastically change everything.
I just didn't want to be judged by everyone, as they saw the turmoil that lie beneath the surface.
That night as I took the mic' and belted out the song I wrote when he found his future wife, garnered me the attention of a major recording label.
And as they say the rest is history, God that is such a bullshit line.
The fifth year was spent dealing with the label, and fighting for total control of my career.
I wanted to write my own songs, I didn't want to be a carbon copy pop singer. I knew what genre I wanted and they strongly believed I would make more and sell more being like very other young tart out there.
That just wasn't me and after a whole year of back and forth they gave in and Marie'- was born.
The sixth year was full of late nights in the studio writing, recording, and letting the world see and hear my pain.
Through it all I had my friends Lauren and Peter with me. They kept me grounded, pushed when I wanted to give up and never let me lose myself to the constant hurricane of activity I found myself in.
The seventh year I released my baby, self-titled Marie'. The critics loved my voice and jazzy vibe; I was called 'exactly what the music world needed'. The record exec's couldn't have been happier as every copy, on every shelf in America, sold out within the first week of release.
Tours were planned, performances were scheduled and my life was lived out of a suitcase for the next year and a half.
The eighth year is what brought everything I had to a halt.
Here I was in Miami's Van Dyke's café getting ready to hit the stage and sing the song that brought me to fame.
My palms always sweat before I sing this song. I always relive the day he left. The day he showed up with the blonde tramp on his arm and paraded her around town as if she was a prized calf and the day the town rejoiced on his impending nuptials.
As I hit the stage, everyone clapped and whistled welcoming me and reminding me why I love what I do.
The piano started the intro and I lost myself as I belted out the opening notes.
I heard, that your settled down.
That you, found a girl and your married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things, I didn't give to you.Old friend, why are you so shy?
It ain't like you to hold back or hide from the lie.
I can already feel the moisture build behind my closed lids. I pray to god that I can make it through this song as all my old wounds open for my audiance to see. My body trembles with the exertion it takes to keep myself from falling apart.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited.
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded,
That for me, it isn't over.Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best, for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.
The chorus ends and I gear myself for another shot of pain, to rip through me as I remember him telling me those same exact words.
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
Those were his parting words. He said them as if all the pain, the rejection and wounds would just magically makes dissapear.
'Okay Bella we are almost done, keep it together and finish out strong.'
Okay so I suck at giving myself pep talks, but really, at this point it physically hurts to breathe, I just can't give myself more than that.
You'd know, how the time flies.
Only yesterday, was the time of our lives.
We were born and raised in a summery haze.
Bound by the surprise of our glory days.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face & that you'd be reminded,
That for me, it isn't over yet.Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead", yay.
Almost done, almost.
I can hear the audience singing right along with me. Making me smile a bit, though on the inside, my wounds are fresh and gaping open for the world to see.
The more I give, the more they want, and as the ending verse starts, my mask slips and I show my true self.
Nothing compares, no worries or cares.
Regret's and mistakes they're memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remembered you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"Nevermind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remembered you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yay yeh yeah
As the final yeah is crooned out, I start to fall apart. The audience goes crazy with flowers thrown on stage, and whistle and cheers are heard throughout the space.
They applaud my gift of laying it all bare for them to witness. They see my wounds as things of beauty, and the saying a 'true artist gives their all no matter what' is heard all around to describe what I just gave them, even if a little of my soul died in their presence.
I can only manage a small thankyou in nothing but a whisper. I turn and head towards the exit, and as my foot takes the first step I'm automatically encased in Peter's arms, as he takes me back to my dressing room.
Once the door to my room is closed, I fall apart and release the sob that has been enclosed in my throat since the first line was sung. My body can no longer hold onto the that last shred of sanity I posses, and I fall to the floor.
Every rejection, every lie, every wound has been opened and brought to the surface. I live my life in a constant fight to keep everything at bay, but today, I just dont have the will to hold it in and like an active volcano I...erupt.
I dont know how long I lay there on the floor, alone, just letting it all out. But when my door is opened, harsh breathing is heard within the small room and a body falls next to mine, I look up.
To say I was scared and shocked, at what I saw laying next to me, would be a lie.
Never did I believe he would show up here and look as bad as I felt.
As much as I wabted to demand he leave, when my mouth opened five little surprising words were uttered in a horse whisper instead.
"What are you doing here?"
Okay so what do ya think...
This story has taken over my life and i love being able to tell her story ... hold on tight we are just begining...
Also before i go... this story will have a posting schedule of every 2 weeks... the chapters are very emotional and i need the gap to recover and write my other story..
Until I Saw You.
So get busy leaving me your thoughts... love you all!
Also dont forget to leave a vote for your favorite authors in The Tomato Soup Awards
thetomatosoupaward(dot)blogspot(dot)com
I've been nominated for best
Carlisle
Esme
Best mob story
And best phone sex
All from Until I Saw You
See you in two weeks…..