Hey readers! This is my very first entry into the Neopets archive, and probably the shortest story I've ever written. To be honest, I'm not entirely certain that it quite counts as "humor"... It's a little more like "pointless random conversation that will hopefully make you smile." I guess you guys will have to be the judges of whether I succeeded in that or not :)

I feel like I should note one more thing: There are some suggestions of both Garin/Isca and Jacques/Caylis pairings (moreso the former than the latter) in this story, but it's more about the two pirates teasing each other than anything else, so you're welcome to ignore the suggestions (or not!) if you wish.

The Difficulties of Dating a Maraquan

"You know, I think I might visit Isca sometime soon."

Jacques cast his captain a look. The two pirates were standing by the rail of the Black Pawkeet, which was currently moored near the coast of some small, unnamed island as its crew rested and resupplied.

"Again?" the Kyrii asked. "You seem to be visiting her a lot lately."

Garin just shrugged, but Jacques felt a little smile tug on his lips.

"You know, if you're going to pursue a relationship with a Maraquan, you'll have to consider what you'll do if you end up deciding to make a life with her and moving down there."

Garin said nothing for a moment, until the full meaning of that comment hit him. He whirled around to face his friend. "What?" he cried. "Isca and I don't like each other that way!"

Jacques met his gaze and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

Garin harrumphed. "Oh, so we're like you and Caylis then?"

The eyebrow went even higher. "Now you're just making things up."

"Oh, really?"

Jacques rolled his eyes and turned back towards the sea. "The question still stands: What would you do if you decided to move to Maraqua?"

"To breathe underwater, you mean?" Garin shrugged. "Just use the magic necklace, like always."

"But could you really rely on that, for the rest of your life?" Jacques pressed. "Wouldn't it be better to have, oh, I don't know, gills?"

Garin snorted. "No thanks. Have you seen the Maraquan Usul? I won't judge on appearances, but there is no way I'd be able to live a life of adventure with a Slugawoo's body."

Now it was Jacques' turn to shrug. "I never said you had to be a Maraquan Usul; you could always morph yourself into something else with gills."

Garin leaned against the rail. "Well, why couldn't Isca be the one to move up here? It would be easier and cheaper to paint her into some sort of regular Aisha."

"And leave her family and friends behind?"

"Well, I'd be doing the same thing if I moved down there! Besides, Caylis could come too; she doesn't even live in Maraqua, so I'm sure she'd like it."

"Oh? And what colour do you think they should be painted?"

Garin barely hesitated before replying, "Pirate."

Jacques laughed. "You know Isca hates the pirating way; what makes you think she would want to become one?"

Garin rolled his eyes, but grinned. "Fine. What colour do you think a surface-dwelling Isca should be?"

Jacques considered the question for a moment. "Starry. And fire for Caylis."

Garin nodded. He had to admit, he supposed those colours fit the two Aishas well enough.

"Of course," Jacques continued, "I'm still interested in what you would do if you ever moved down to Maraqua. As for me, I would be fine as a Maraquan Kyrii, but you…"

Garin raised an eyebrow. "Why are you so engrossed with that question?"

Jacques chuckled. "Eh, I'm just curious now."

Garin turned back toward the setting sun and stared out at the ocean for a minute or two, contemplating his choice. Finally, he said, "Darigan Peophin."

Jacques cocked his head. "Darigan?"

"That, or Maraquan Hissi."

"Yes, but Darigan?" Jacques repeated. "You've never even been to the Citadel before; what makes you want to be a Darigan Peophin?"

Garin smiled. "Oh, you know, they're fierce and rugged and all. Besides," he added, clapping his friend on the shoulder, "Darigan Peophins have the coolest manes. It might finally give me a chance to compete with your lovely locks."

There you have it! I may or may not post another oneshot for this archive in the near future, but for now, if you would like to read another of my Neopets stories, I also have a few entries published in the Neopian Times. My username for the site is sporty2443 if you want to check them out. Until next time!