Title: Between Creator and Creation

Author: S J Smith

Rating: Gen

Summary: Truth explains Ed's place in the universe. Al runs interference.

Disclaimer: Oh, please, I own nothing.

Note: Written for the LJ community, FMA_Fic_Contest, where it took second place.

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Your story goes like this:

You and your brother are going to a town in the middle of the desert to investigate this stone you really, really need for reasons we'll go into later. So let's make up the setting:

- a crisp, blue sky overhead, completely devoid of clouds,
- buildings baked and faded to various shades of tan and cream,
- roads of the same color, more baked earthen tones, mostly because they probably are baked earth,
- tanned people, wearing loose, comfortable clothing, appropriate for their dry environs

(A loud, jaw-cracking yawn.) Can you get on with it?

Brother, be nice! This is just an opening scene.

I liked the other opening scene better, Al. At least it was dramatic. This is boring. Bor. Ring.

This scene is designed to introduce you to the reader, Edward.

Pfft. It's not very kick ass. I'm a kick ass hero.

You'll get to kick ass later. Right now, your introduction is happening. Be quiet!

(A heavy sigh.) All right, lady, but get on with it.

An old-fashioned radio is playing a sermon -

A sermon?

Brother.

Nobody said anything about religion, Al!

(Aggrieved. Louder.) An old-fashioned radio is playing a sermon and the scene switches from a view of it to a view of a boy, slumped over an outdoor dining counter. He has a straw in his mouth, something that will make readers wonder if he has an oral fixation and looks bored out of his mi -

Whoa, whoa, hold on a minute. What was that?

What was what?

The thing about the straw! What was that!

I scratched it out. You shouldn't have seen that. You didn't see that. It doesn't exist. Pay no attention to the cow behind the curtain.

Like hell it didn't exist! I saw that! I don't have an oral fixation! Geeze!

Well...Brother...you do tend to chew on straws...

Because I'm bored, not because I want something in my mouth all the time! What the fuck is that! Do you know what weirdos are going to read into that kind of thing? Man, I'd better get a girlfriend, quick, before people get the wrong idea. When does she make an appearance, anyway?

...Um...

What was that? Hey, you! Lady!

Stop poking me with your automail!

(Poke.) Then. (Poke.) Answer. (Poke.) My. (Poke.) Question.

Ow! OW! Cut that out! All right, my editor won't let her come in until about the fifteenth chapter. (Folded arms. Huffy.)

He what? Doesn't he remember this is a boy's manga? Cute girls in skimpy little outfits need to be popping up everywhere! Boy's mangas are all about the T&A! You'd better get on it, lady! Or do I need to talk to your stupid fucking editor myself? I wanna see boobs and asses, and I want a cute girlfriend, right now!

Brother, language!

Al! Just because you're trapped in armor and can't feel anything doesn't mean you don't know what I mean!

Brother, that's not nice.

Sorry, Al, but do you really want a big brother with the reputation of a pipe-smoker?

It might be better than a big brother who's really rude.

Nng! Lady, about the cute girlfriend?

(A pout.) I wanted her in chapter three, but my editor thought it would be better to have her come in later.

What the hell does he know?

Well, he is my editor.

Don't mean jack-shit to me, lady.

He wants more storyline first, so we get to know the real you!

Well...yeah...I am pretty awesome.

(The sound of a leather gauntlet slapping the metal faceplate of a helmet rings out.)

What was that, Al?

Nothing, Brother, I just hope you can get your ego through the door on the way out of here.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

I think it speaks for itself.

Look, I'm already at one hundred hit points plus, one hundred strength points, have magic alchemy, and you for my Jiminy Cricket. I just need the girl to round out the picture! She'd better be cute, too, lady, with lots of curves.

Jiminy Cricket?

It's a figure of speech, Al.

I'm not your conscience! I'm a real boy! Just trapped in some huge horkin' piece of armor!

I know, I know, geeze, don't get your panties in a wad.

I dont wear panties! I have a loin cloth!

Yeah...that's kind of creepy, too, Al, just saying.

I hate you, Brother, you're so mean! (Stomps off, making the floor shake, and metal plates rattle.)

Tch. He's so sensitive.

So, lady, are you sure we can't introduce some cute girls earlier...? Hey! What are you doing! You'd better get that eraser away from that page! Lady! Cut it out! No! NO! What the hell are you doi - (A squeal, then silence.)

Maybe Mom was right, and I should tell a story about what I know!

Once upon a time, there was this girl who wanted to run a dairy farm...

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