Quick one-shot for Sneakygays on her birthday. Happy Birthday.

Quinnie,

I have to work late tonight, here's some money to order food.

Have a good day at school!

-Mom

You glance at the clock above the stove and note that it's entirely too early to be awake. It's a Friday, so you've got that going for you. It's also your birthday. You try not to frown in disappointment after reading your mother's note on the counter but you can't help but feel like it's going to be a bad day.

You don't necessarily like birthdays but you try to give them the benefit of the doubt. The expectation is always high and they tend to let you down, there's a lot of pressure on birthdays. It certainly doesn't help matters when you start off your day with zero Happy Birthday texts and a note from your mother that tells you she won't be around at all on the anniversary of your birth. It's not like it's an important birthday, just the 18th one.

You sift through the cabinet for something to eat for breakfast and try not to assume the worst about how your day is going to go. It's a beautiful Fall morning and there's not a dreary cloud in the sky.

You gently close your car door and stand for a moment in the Senior Parking Lot, taking in your surroundings. There's a few other kids in the parking lot at this time making their way into the cafeteria to grab a quick muffin for breakfast. You're not early but you're not late yet, it's a good time to arrive in the morning. You shoulder your side bag and run through your mental checklist of things to remember as you walk towards the door.

You smile as people pass you by, it doesn't matter if you're in a cheerleading uniform or the birthday outfit you picked out at the beginning of the week, people look at you. It's a nice reassurance, especially today. You're happy to finally be wearing the dress you bought from the mall two weeks ago, and just as you imagined, it goes perfectly with your dark blue cardigan and matching headband. Symmetry is important to you, your appearance is important to you.

You arrive at your locker and turn the lock in the order of your locker combination and pull it open. No birthday cards or white notes fall out but it's early yet. You grab the books you need for your first three classes and the book you read during your free time at school and make your way out to the courtyard to sit at a picnic table while you wait for the morning bell to ring.

It's rowdy on the steps as people sit and talk but it's never a problem for you, you can immerse yourself into a book and lose track of time often. Santana nudges you harder than necessary and you bite back the scowl and look up with a smile. It's your birthday, you don't need to get into silly quarrels.

"How long have you been out here?"

You shrug, you really have no idea, "Few minutes."

"Oh. Do you have the math homework?" she asks, as she does every morning.

You're past the point of pretending to be inconvenienced by it and hand over the notebook that contains the answers. You know that she's just going to give the answers to Brittany during lunch. Santana sits across from you and begins jotting down the numbers while you go back to your book. You consider hinting that it's your birthday, she's the closest thing to a friend that you've got and while that itself is pathetic, you're not about to be desperate enough to remind her.

The bell rings and you both gather your things and make your way to your first classes.

Halfway through your second class of the day you're tapped on your shoulder. Puckerman sits behind you and even though you haven't talked in months, you know that he's not going to let you down today. You two had a baby for Christ's sake.

"Do you have a pen? I threw mine at Finn and he won't give it back to me."

You roll your eyes and dig into your bag for the crappiest pen you can find. You hope it runs out of ink on him.

Kurt catches your eye in the hallway as you're moving towards your next class and his face lights up.

Here we go, you think, finally some acknowledgment. Kurt's gay, he has to remember people's birthdays.

"You look lovely today, special occasion?"

You assume he's just teasing you but you smile and nod bashfully.

"Do you think you could give me directions to that restaurant you were telling me about the other day? I want to take Blaine out tonight."

You sigh, maybe you should just give up all hope on someone remembering that today is your birthday. You didn't announce it recently and you most certainly didn't have a publicized countdown on your Facebook page like some people did, but you thought that people would care enough about you to remember something like that.

"Sure, I'll jot them down during History."

Kurt squeals and it's like you've just saved his life, "You're an angel. Thank youuuu." He drawls out before bouncing away to catch up with his boyfriend.

At least he has plans tonight, the best you've got going for you is some money on the kitchen counter and some takeout menus in a drawer.

You spot Mercedes in the cafeteria during lunch and you send a silent prayer to the heavens. Finally.

"Hey girl," she says as she pops a tater tot in her mouth and takes a swig of Diet Coke, "You look cute. Is that the dress we bought last week?"

You smile as you set your tray down and begin pouring salad dressing on the questionable lettuce, "Yeah."

Mercedes hums as she eats some more food and you watch, with slight triumph, as realization sets into her features, "Oh my gosh, girl! I totally forgot!"

You smile, but pretend like you have no idea what she's talking about, you're not about to let her know that you've been dying for someone to remember.

"I still owe you money from when we went to the mall! I have it in my locker, I'll give it to you in glee?"

You stab a carrot with your plastic fork and mumble, "Don't worry about it."

Finn has been staring at you for ten minutes. You can feel his eyes on you but you refuse to bark at him to quit it. It's your birthday, you're going to present yourself with the utmost grace and elegance.

"Is there something you want to say to me?"

It has a dual purpose. You dated the giant for almost a year of your life, you think he'd know something trivial like your birthday. Sarcasm is your only friend in times like this.

His brows knit together in curiosity and his mouth opens and closes a few times.

"Why won't Rachel date me?"

It's not exactly what you were expecting at this moment but the sad truth is that you were expecting that question eventually.

You try to mask the frustration, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm just trying to understand."

"Understand what?"

"Why she goes through so much trouble to be your friend but won't go through the same trouble to date me."

It's a valid question but you don't have an answer for him. Not one that he'd like, anyway. You know exactly why she won't go back to him, just like you know exactly how you'd feel if she ever did decide to give up on you and run back into his arms.

"I don't know, Finn, have you tried talking to her?"

He ignores your question, "Just, treat her right, okay?"

You feel your heart drop into your throat as all the oxygen around you suddenly disappears. It's a vague request but you can't help but assume that he knows what happened between you two. You and Rachel…it's complicated.

"I'm not like, mad or anything, it's just, she won't talk to me about it so I stopped trying. But you, I know that you can be a good person when you think no one is watching, and somehow I know that you won't hurt her the way I have in the past. We can all still be friends, right?"

"Okay," you whisper hoarsely, not quite sure that all of this is happening.

The corner of his mouth turns up in a boyish manner as he wears his emotions so clearly on his sleeve, "Cool."

You nod but you also feel like crying. Your ex-boyfriend technically just gave you permission to be with the girl he loves. What makes you feel even worse is that he somehow knows that you want to be with her. It's not guilt that you're feeling, you stopped feeling guilty in regards to him a long time ago, it's fear that has your lower lip between your teeth and eyes stinging.

You're terrified.

Brittany catches up to you after school as you're on your way to glee rehearsal in the auditorium. You're working on choreography for the small concert the glee club is putting on at the middle school in a few weeks to get kids interested in the arts.

"There you are! I've been looking for you all day."

You're done with getting your hopes up so you have no expectations as to why Brittany's been looking for you.

"What's up?"

"Do you think I could borrow one of your hats? The brown one? That you wear randomly?"

"Sure," you reply and pull the door open for the two of you.

Good thing you had no expectations.

Glee practice is over and you're trying to gather your things quickly, the sooner you get out of the school, the sooner you can get home and forget this day ever happened. How embarrassing? Not one person remembered that it was your birthday. You've never felt this invisible. You think about the different TV shows that you can watch on Netflix and what kind of food you want for your grand birthday dinner for one and neglect to realize that you've taken too long to pack up your things and everyone is gone.

"Naturally," you mumble to yourself and make your way up the stairs and out into the hallway.

The school is entirely deserted and you remember that it's a Friday and your mood brightens a bit. You get out to the parking lot and there's a chill to the air that wasn't there earlier in the morning. You don't mind, Fall is your favorite season. You cross your arms over your chest to gather some warmth and walk towards your car.

"Hi Quinn," comes stuttering out of Rachel's mouth as she stands near your car.

"Rach, what are you doing?"

You're nervous. Whenever the two of you are alone, bad things happen. Granted, you're not alone in private, but you can still feel the tension electrifying the space between the two of you.

Rachel seems just as nervous and it settles your mind for a few seconds. She's fidgeting with her hands as she looks to the ground. The sun is already setting, daylight savings time is just around the corner and it's getting a bit dark out. The breeze picks up again and blows a few brown leaves across the parking lot, it catches your eye and you watch them dance around in mid-air before returning your gaze to Rachel. She fixes her hair and clears her throat.

"Do you want to hang out?" she asks simply.

Your heart feels like breaking. It's such an easy request but the weight behind her words are heavy and thick. The two of you have hung out before, randomly, on few occasions. It tends to end the same way every time. One of you sneaking out of the other's house in the early morning hours before the sunlight can reveal the shame you're both feeling. It always starts innocent, with pure and honest intentions, but it escalates into temptation that neither of you can hold back from, and it eventually ends with a silent understanding to never talk about it again.

Finn's words are echoing in the back of your mind. It's like he knew that you'd be faced with this choice today and he was somehow warning you that this time would be different. You can feel it, for some reason, you just know that if you hang out with Rachel right now, it's going to be different. Maybe it's because she's actively seeking you out this time, whereas all the other times happened by accident. After a glee get together or a party, the two of you just randomly ending up alone in a bedroom or driving home from the bowling alley.

Whatever the reason is, you find yourself smiling and nodding. Besides it being a way better offer than what awaited you at home, it's something new and exciting. You don't know what she has in store and that's the part that intrigues you. You never know and that's why you love it, but it's also why it's so dangerous. Spending time with her is dangerous, if not a little eye-opening. You're always surprised when she evokes different feelings inside of you. Like how your stomach flutters when she gets too close, how adorable you find it when she talks to herself, or how your cheeks get hot when you catch her openly staring at you.

From the few prior times, you can guess where it will end up and for the first time, you're thinking ahead to that. You're looking forward to it and you're consciously aware of what it makes you feel. You're imagining the exotic way that she rolls her hips into yours as she straddles you, the intoxicating scent of leftover perfume mixed with yours as the sheets tangle around you, the feel of light sweat on the small of her back as your fingertips ache to grip on and never let go. The images are so far etched into your mind that it's impossible not to see her every time you close your eyes. Every detail, every body part, and every expression makes you quiver in anticipation for the next time. When it happens again for real, you're amazed that your memory just doesn't do her enough justice. As vivid as it is in your mind, it's nowhere close to experiencing it firsthand.

It's terrifying but it's a different kind of terrifying. It's the kind that sneaks up on you and latches on for dear life, the kind of terrifying that you experience once and the adrenaline rush has you craving it for days, even months later. The high you get from being around Rachel is incomparable, and you wonder how you could have lived so long without experiencing it.

"Sure," you reply as you follow her to her black Volkswagen.

It's different because you know you can have all of that whenever you want, you hope that Rachel wants it, too. All Finn asks is that you treat her right, but it won't be a problem because when you two are together, she's the only thing in the world that matters. Her needs come before yours, always.

You're hers for the taking.

You sink into the plush couch in Rachel's family room and let out a sigh of contentment. You love this couch, it always molds to your body and makes you feel like you could get lost in the cushions. Rachel giggles as she sets down a small plate with two cookies on the coffee table and hops onto the couch next to you, slightly bumping into your shoulder. It makes you feel giddy when that happens.

"That was so good," you comment, rubbing your stomach for emphasis.

After you and Rachel left the school, you went to the supermarket to help Rachel with her grocery shopping. It was odd at first, hanging out at a grocery store but you didn't mind it after a while. You both fell into easy conversation and she was only semi-serious in scolding you when you threw in random groceries. She even let you choose what the two of you were going to have for dinner.

"I don't get to cook for very many people."

"You can cook for me any time you want," you reply. You wouldn't mind it. It was better than most restaurants you've been to.

Rachel's smile is a thousand watts as she leans forward, "Cookie?" she offers and you shake your head as you lazily smile with your head resting on the back of the couch. You feel like a giant ball of mush sometimes when you're around her.

Rachel takes a bite and you watch intently as she chews and moans softly at the taste. The sounds remind you of specific instances but you curb your arousal because she looks adorable as she sits next to you.

"My day started out terrible," you say suddenly.

Rachel frowns and waits for you to elaborate.

You only shrug, "You turned it around, I forgot why I was even upset."

She lets a hint of a smile show as she sets her cookie down on the table and adjusts herself so that her arm is hanging off the back of the couch and her other elbow is resting on her knee, "Why were you upset?"

You let out a small chuckle under your breath as you lose your concentration on the coffee table, "It's my birthday," you offer and turn to look at her.

Her face is smooth and even, no traces of shock or guilt.

"I know," she says simply.

"You do?"

She looks like she could be offended by the comment but decides against it, "Of course," she lets out a small laugh and scoots closer, "You think I forgot it was your birthday?"

You probably look as confused as you feel, you adjust your body so you can look at her without craning your neck, "Why didn't you wish me a happy birthday then?"

Rachel shrugs, it's the calmest you've ever seen her and it's peaceful, you often forget that the two of you can have such intimate conversations when you're in private. "I didn't want you to think that was the only reason I wanted to hang out with you."

"Oh."

Rachel inches closer again and you can feel her fingertips flirting with the back of your neck, "No one wished you a happy birthday?"

It could be her warm tone, or the feel of her tickling the back of your neck, or even the food coma you're in from the meal she made you, but you feel overwhelmed. Like it's finally hit you that the only person who cares enough about you is the girl sitting next to you. Even if you probably could have known that all along, it still hits you harder than it should. It makes you cry. You don't sob but your eyes feel like they're filling up to the brim as Rachel's sad frown starts to multiply from the tears. She pulls you into a hug and you shake your head into her neck and she softly assures you that she's sorry.

"Everyone forgot," you say, "Everyone but you."

Rachel looks more pained than you're expecting her to and when you mutually pull away from each other, she keeps physical contact with you. She doesn't say anything, she just keeps your hand in hers, and doesn't move. She's practically sitting in your lap and you can't help but think you'd feel better if she actually was in your lap. You can't seem to be happy about your closeness because you wish you were closer. You wish you could feel her heart beating, you wish you could fall asleep to the sound of her breathing, and you would give anything to tell her what's on your mind.

"Why did you want to hang out with me today? If it wasn't for my birthday."

Rachel smiles softly and reaches her free hand up to gently brush the back of her fingers down your cheek, she leans in and ducks her head to make sure you see the playful hint in her eye, "Because I like you."

You blow out a shaky breath to stable yourself, too many emotions are running through your body to properly act on them.

"Is it really that simple?"

She nods her head back and forth, "I don't see why it can't be. I like spending time with you, I like seeing you in the hallway, and I like those rare occasions where you let your guard down enough to hold me before we fall asleep after we," she blushes, "ya know." you nod, also feeling the blush, she shrugs, "I just like you. Do you? Well, do you like me?"

You've thought about it, more than you care to admit to anyway. It's on your mind constantly. Well, Rachel is on your mind constantly, you try not to spend too much time dwelling on what it means. But maybe it really is that simple. You like her. She likes you. Why should anything else matter?

You nod and feel like it's not enough, so you add a shy, "Yes."

"We don't have to label it…we can just…be? For a while and see what it's like?"

"Okay."

It feels good. You thought that having this dreaded talk with Rachel was going to be the death of you but you often underestimate Rachel's ability to be a normal person sometimes. You're so used to thinking so low of her that you forget the fact that you'd probably drown without her to keep you above water.

"But just to clarify," She ducks her head and you find yourself smiling because you know that whatever she wants to say is going to be embarrassing for her, "We will be hanging out more, right? Not just two or three times a month? Maybe like two or three times a week? And," she blushes again and looks away, "Maybe when I wake up in the morning, you won't be gone?"

You roll your eyes because you already know that once the gate opens, you really don't see any problem with adhering to a minimum number of hours spent together. And you most certainly won't be skipping out before breakfast now that you know that this is what she wants.

"You know that you were the one to leave after that first night we spent together, right?"

Rachel hangs her head, "I know, I just…I panicked. I didn't know how you'd react, and…yeah."

You've already started to inch your way closer to Rachel. You've been watching her lips with rapt attention for so long that you feel like you'll simply die if you don't feel them on your own. It's silent between the two of you for a few long seconds, the communication happening between your eyes and she begins to meet you halfway.

The kiss is different from other ones. It's tender and slow, you're savoring her and you can tell that she's doing the same with you. Previous kisses were needy and passionate but all over the place, they blew your mind and had you desperate to remove every article of clothing separating the two of you. This kiss feels like the beginning. It's romantic and intimate, and even though it has you once again desperate to settle down on top of her, you curb your need because Rachel needs you to be more than that for her and you want to mean more than that to Rachel.

You pull away and admire her slightly glazed over eyes, "Do you want to watch a movie together?"

You're already thinking about how comfortable it will be when you and Rachel cuddle on the couch and fall asleep to the movie in the background.

She glances at the clock above the TV, "My dads will be home soon." She replies and you wonder if she had similar images in her mind.

You're sad for just a moment before you remember, "My mom's working late tonight, we can go to my house."

Rachel smiles and leans back in to plant an unexpected kiss on your lips. It feels better than you ever could have imagined. Kissing you whenever she wants is going to prove to be a definite perk of this newfound relationship.

"Let me just go put a bag together," she hops off the couch before halting and turning around. "That's okay, right? If I sleep over? I just figured…"

She trails off and you smile, "Rach, yes, that's what I was hinting at."

"Oh! Okay, good. I'll be right back," she bounces over and gives you another kiss but your reflexes are faster this time and you trap her with a hand on her neck in order to give her a proper send-off kiss.

She scurries up the stairs and you grab the other half of her cookie and take a bite as you relax back into the couch.

"So what kinds of DVDs do you have?" Rachel asks as she bounces next to you as you walk with her up the walkway.

You took her hand after you both got out of the car to see how it felt and you don't regret it. Rachel leans into you when she walks and it puts you on top of the world.

"A lot, and I have Netflix, so whatever you want to watch…we'll find something."

Rachel happily accepts the answer and follows you into the house, she closes the main door as she waits for you to find the hallway light. You never find it on the first try and you have to seriously start remembering to put it on before you leave for school when your mom has to work late nights.

"SURPRISE!"

You're startled to the point of feeling like your heart is about to explode, and you almost lose your footing in the hallway. You were so caught up with Rachel that you neglected to notice the suspicious amount of cars in the street or the uncharacteristically pitch black house. Balloons and streamers litter the sitting room and you're going to take a wild guess and assume that every room has the same amount.

Everyone's smiling wide and laughing at your reaction. And literally everyone is there. The glee kids, some of your old friends from the Cheerios, and even your sister made the trip from Cleveland.

Rachel's the first one you actually hear and it's because she's jumping on you from behind, "Surprised?"

You turn around in a quick motion, "You planned this?"

She tilts her head, "Santana helped a lot."

You hug her first because she deserves it, "Thank you."

"We so got you!" Santana calls as she comes up to them, "Up top." She raises her hand for Rachel high five her.

Brittany bounces over to you next and gives you the biggest hug of your life, "It was so hard pretending to not know it was your birthday!"

You smile, it probably was very hard for Brittany to ignore it. Birthdays are right up there with Christmas.

You make your way further into the room, your mom gets to you next and your sister follows. Puck lifts you up and Kurt makes sure that you're aware that he'll still be needing the directions to the restaurant he inquired about earlier. You and Finn share a slightly awkward hug but it's to be expected for at least a little while.

You've never had a surprise party before but you can feel the love radiating off the walls of your home. All eyes are on you, and you're the center of attention, you probably have been for a while considering how early Rachel likes to plan things. It's not a huge party but it's the people you care about and it makes you happy to know that they cared enough to keep up the charade all day, even if you earlier wanted to kill them for it.

Puck hands you a solo cup of red juice and you decide to accept it but wait until Rachel brings you another glass of something you presume is much safer than anything he could have made.

Mercedes catches up with you, "You have no idea how hard that was earlier, girl! By the way, that dress looks amazin'."

You thank her and feel grateful that you're able to wear the dress you bought for your birthday to your very own birthday party. Not just any birthday party but the surprise party that Rachel threw for you, before either of you had any idea of what was going on between the two of you.

You find her talking to your mom in the kitchen and wait until she's done explaining how hard it was to lie to you while you were with her.

She turns around with a bright smile, "Hey birthday girl!" she bumps your hip, "Having fun?"

Your smile reaches your eyes and you're not sure if it's from the alcohol or the giddy feelings that Rachel ignites within you whenever she's around.

You pull her towards the back door and the two of you stand outside together in the crisp Fall evening, "I can't believe you planned all of this."

"I wasn't counting on you getting so upset about people forgetting your birthday, I thought it would make the surprise that much better."

"It did, trust me."

"You're not mad at me for ruining the beginning of your day, are you? I'll make it up to you. You're really going to like my present later." She practically purrs and you just about turn to liquid.

Your eyes briefly roll to the back of your head and it reminds you of the first time the two of you flirted three months ago, "You can't say stuff like that to me right now."

Rachel pouts in a not so innocent manner, "Why not?"

"You know why not. All I'm going to be thinking about for the next three hours is what your present is going to be."

Rachel smirks, "It's going to be really good."

"Tease."

Rachel giggles childishly before she reaches out for your hand to pull you closer to her, you glance over your shoulder briefly to make sure no one is watching through the window and turn around to rest your forehead on hers, like you did before the first time you kissed her.

"Happy birthday," she whispers.

A happy birthday, indeed.