Title: Redefining Home
Summary: "Are you okay with me?" Is the red dress enough to make Kurt forgive Finn? Missing and follow-up scenes from Theatricality.
Rating: T, just in case.
Category: Glee. Finn and Kurt friendship/brothers, with a dash of Burt and Carole.
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Glee.
A/N: Well, since Fox re-aired this episode over the summer, I thought I should finally finish this up and post it.
...
Kurt took a deep breath, angrily wiping at the tears that were trailing down his cheeks. All his best intentions had gone completely wrong. He could hear Carole's voice upstairs, couldn't make out the words, but the edge of hysteria was there. Kurt jumped at a bang, unmistakably the front door slamming shut. Taking another deep breath, he got up and hurried upstairs.
Kurt slowed when he reached the hallway, hearing his dad.
"He used the word 'fag,' Carole. I'm sorry." The sadness in his father's tone had the tears brimming in Kurt's eyes. "I don't want to lose you, but I-," Burt trailed off with a sigh. He pictured his father pulling his hat off and running his hand over his face. "Kurt's my son."
Kurt heard Carole sniffling, knew that she was crying. He launched himself down the corridor, whipping around the corner to the family room. Both Carole and Burt looked up at him, and the sadness in both their eyes broke Kurt's heart. It was true that he had initially set them up to be closer to Finn, but once Kurt had been able to see past his own hurt and get over his crush on the tall teenager, he had seen how happy his father and Carole were together. He didn't want to be the cause of taking that away.
"I'm sorry," he blurted out as the tears clouded his vision again. Carole shook her head, the tears still slipping down her face. Kurt wrapped his arms around himself, feeling his own tears against his cheeks again. Carole stood and before Kurt realized it, she wrapped her arms around him.
"It's not your fault," she whispered fiercely. Kurt kept his arms around his torso.
"It is," he countered sadly. Carole pulled away to look at him. She wiped the tears from his cheeks with gentle fingers. He closed his eyes, unable to resist the soothing gesture.
"Kurt, whatever you did or said, doesn't give Finn or anyone the right to use that word, got it?" Burt had stood up from his chair, had tossed his hat on the coffee table. Kurt knew what his father was saying, understood exactly what he meant. Kurt nodded, only to assuage his father. But he had to fix this. He tugged Carole's hands away from his face, took a deep breath, and squeezed her fingers encouragingly.
"We're a family now. I'm going to fix this. And then Finn's going to come back." Kurt held a hand up to halt Burt's protest. "This is his home too."
...
Hours later, after Kurt had managed to take everything down and pack them neatly in bags to be returned to the various home decorating stores he had visited earlier in the week, he carried the last of his clothes upstairs to the second floor room that would eventually become his bedroom.
"You sure about this?" Burt asked when the young man entered the room. They had carried Kurt's mattress up earlier, and Burt was now piling boxes to make room.
"It's settled, Dad," Kurt said quietly, but definitively, as he hung the clothes up, carefully separating them and smoothing them down.
"Kurt, you don't have to give up your room."
"I'm not giving up my room," Kurt argued, looking around at the small space that had once been his mother's sewing room but now housed years of accumulated junk. "This is going to be so much better," he continued with enthusiasm he didn't completely feel. Burt eyed his son, watched as he went over to the boxes by the window and began unpacking his toiletries. Kurt, for his part, took a deep breath, knowing his father was still not entirely convinced.
"I'm going to enjoy getting a whole new space to decorate. The natural light will open up entirely new decorating possibilities." When Kurt turned back to his father, his smile was genuine. Burt sighed, gesturing to the mattress. Kurt helped him set it in the middle of the room, on the floor.
"We'll get started on the closet this weekend," Burt offered, as he stood up. Kurt clapped his hands together, no longer having to feign his excitement. Burt chuckled.
"It'll be bigger than the basement's," Kurt said, running his hand along the wall between the room and the hall closet. "I've got the shelves and door already picked out." The older man laughed again, before turning somber.
"You don't have to change for anyone, Kurt," Burt said gruffly. "You know that, right?" Wide, honest eyes met his.
"I know, Dad," Kurt said sincerely. "But sometimes change is good, right, Dad?" Kurt couldn't help the uncertainty that crept into his town.
"Only if you want to."
Kurt shook his head, "I want Finn to feel comfortable here." Burt opened his mouth to argue, but Kurt continued, "He just needs time to adjust."
"Son-," Burt started. Kurt shook his head again, dispelling his own doubts and hopefully, his father's.
"He can't change for anyone else either," Kurt reasoned, knowing he'd won the debate when he'd used his father's words. "We need to give him more time," Kurt repeated. Burt stared at his son a moment longer before relenting. He grabbed the last box and stacked it atop three others.
"We could always move the laundry room downstairs," Kurt added with a smirk. "Make this a 3 1/2 bathroom house?"
Burt laughed at that, lifting his hands in surrender, "Okay, okay."
...
Kurt returned to the basement and finished making up Finn's bed, with sheets from Finn's old bedroom. Carole had helped Kurt unpack some of Finn's things, things that she felt sure would make her son feel more at home. Kurt had moved the rest of his furniture into a corner, neatly stacked until the upstairs room could be completed. Taking a look around at the blank walls, Kurt assessed the solitary bed off to the side, the drum set nearby, and what remained of his furniture that he thought Finn might like-the couch and small television in the middle of the room, and an old dresser and shelves on the other side of the room ready for Finn's clothes.
He dropped onto the couch, exhausted. He pulled out his cell phone and checked the time-1:30 a.m. He had sent Carole and Burt off to bed hours ago, knowing both had to work the next day. And he'd probably be exhausted at school tomorrow. He scrolled through his contacts and dialed Finn's number. After the sixth ring, Finn's recorded voice came on. Kurt had tried Finn's number several times already, but he wasn't giving up. He left yet another short but polite message telling him he could come home. Kurt had refused to apologize, still hurt and angry, but he was doing this for Carole and his dad. Hanging up, he debated his next move. Deciding Finn was most likely with Puck, Kurt skimmed through his contacts again until he reached the right number. Puck picked up on the second ring.
"You've only had my number for, like, two days, this better be good." Puck had actually asked Kurt for some fashion advice when he was preparing for his Sammy Davis Jr. number a couple weeks ago. He had given Kurt his number reluctantly, threatening bodily harm if Kurt ever called him, for well, anything.
"Is Finn with you?" Kurt asked, undeterred.
"Maybe." Kurt could hear some kind of video game in the background, knew someone else was there. His bet was Finn.
"Tell him he can come home," Kurt instructed sternly.
"I didn't say he was here," Puck argued.
"Just tell him, okay?" Kurt lightened his voice.
"Fine," Puck said after a moment.
"Thank you," Kurt said politely.
"Whatever." The call ended. Kurt, no longer surprised by Puck's abrupt manner, stood up and headed back upstairs. He had done what he could for tonight.
...
After Puck had hung up his phone, Finn pointedly ignored his curiosity and guilt for another 30 minutes as he and Puck silently continued playing their video game.
"Kurt?" Finn asked quietly, as the game came to an end and the menu appeared on the small television screen. He didn't look at Puck, but he felt the other teenager lean back into the couch.
"He said you could go home." Finn let out a sigh and hung his head.
"I yelled at him and basically called him a 'fag'."
"Dude," was all Puck said as their eyes met briefly.
"And his dad kicked me out." The two sat in silence for a moment.
"I give my sister a hard time," Puck said, "but I'll be damned if I actually hurt her." Finn looked back at him. "I know you're not gay," Puck said a moment later. "I give you a hard time because-," Puck trailed off, shrugging. They shared another look before Finn nodded his understanding and let out another tired sigh.
"I should go," Finn finally said. He set his controller on the coffee table and stood. He looked down at Puck, who hadn't been his friend at all a short while ago, but who was slowly becoming his best friend again. "Thanks."
Puck nodded, watching the tall boy make his way to the front door.
...
Finn opened the front door slowly, keeping the noise to a minimum. He had seen the lights on as he had driven up, but when he slid inside and shut the door behind him, all was quiet. He made his way into the family room, spying the lamp by the sofa on. He peered into the kitchen, and seeing no one, flipped off the light and headed quietly to the basement.
The soft light filtering up the stairs made Finn pause, but again, no sound was heard. He slowly descended the stairs, bracing himself for a conversation he wasn't prepared for and didn't really want to have. But when he reached the bottom, all he could see was his drum set and his backpack resting against the banister. He looked around, confused, his mouth agape. His game station rested atop the small television and his well-worn comforter lay on the bed in the corner.
Finn stepped further into the room, only to see several pieces of Kurt's furniture stacked in the corner, along with several shopping bags. He shrugged out of his jacket, tossing it onto the couch. Spying a note taped to the television, he grabbed it before perching on the sofa.
Room's yours. You will be helping me move furniture later. Oh, and you'll have to share with the washer and dryer.
Finn stared at the note for several moments. His brain kept asking the same questions, but he found no answers sitting alone and feeling the pull of sleep. Instead, he propelled himself up and shuffled to the bed, where he collapsed ungracefully onto the mattress and was soon asleep.
...
"Where's Kurt?" Since he and his mom had moved in, he and Kurt had been carpooling to school in the mornings.
"His dad took him to Mercedes' place when he went to work," Carol answered, not looking up from the paper. She had peeked in on Finn in the basement when she woke up, marveling at all the work Kurt had done the night before. This morning, she had seen Kurt's red eyes and the sad smile he gifted her with. So she had hugged Kurt a little longer than necessary before he and Burt headed out.
"Mom, I'm sorry." Carole looked up at Finn standing awkwardly in the doorway, watched him glance nervously around the room. She set the paper on the table.
"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."
"I know, I just-," Finn struggled. "I didn't mean it," he finished lamely.
"Finn, I love you. And if Burt hadn't agreed to have you back in the house, I would have moved out." She stood up and approached her son. "But whether you meant it or not, you said it." She laid a gentle hand on Finn's chest, taking a calming breath. "And it hurt." Finn looked at his mom, took in her sadness, and felt so guilty for upsetting her.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. Carole shook her head, dispelling the tears clouding her vision. She held Finn's gaze with her next words.
"I know you are, but it's going to take a while for things to be okay." Finn swallowed, knew she was right, but he had no idea how to make things okay. Carole patted his cheek gently, offered an encouraging smile, and pulled away.
"Mom, where did Kurt sleep last night?" Carole gave him an indiscernible look, then stretched her hand out. Finn took it and Carole led him out of the room and up the stairs. When they stopped in front of the storage room, Carole pushed the door open.
Finn stepped in and Carole flipped the light on behind him. Boxes lined all four walls, leaving just enough space around the window so that light came in. A mattress on the floor, with sheets and blanket perfectly made, confused Finn as there was no space around the mattress except at the end. Atop the boxes just under the window, Finn could make out several bottles and toiletry bags, clearly belonging to Kurt. Some of Kurt's clothes hung from a rod that had been strung from hooks in the ceiling.
"He wants you to feel at home here, Finn." Carole rested a hand on Finn's arm. "When we were unpacking some of your things, Kurt told me how he used to have a crush on you. That that was why you were so upset." Carole pulled Finn out of the room, turned off the lights, and shut the door before she continued.
"Then he told me how upset he was that you and Burt got along so well. But he knew his dad and I were happy together, so he tried to make the best of it." She reached a hand up to Finn's cheek again, wanting him to understand. "Maybe he tried too hard, but he just wants us to be a family. I think he's been even lonelier than his father or I have."
Finn found it difficult to swallow, as he looked at the now closed door. He had yelled at Kurt and what did he get? Kurt had moved all of his things, had given him the entire basement because he wanted Finn to feel at home. Finn felt terrible. He shouldn't have yelled or said the things he said. He could have just talked to Kurt, told him what he wanted or didn't want. And hadn't they agreed to try and break their parents up? He hadn't done anything about that, and he should have realized that Kurt would be having just as hard a time with this as he was.
"How do I fix this?" Finn asked quietly. Carole patted his arm encouragingly, offering a smile.
"Just talk to Kurt. Apologize to his father." Carole started toward the stairs, Finn following. "And you're going to have your work cut out for you this summer, helping with the renovation," she added in a tone that left no room for argument.
...
"Mom?" Finn called out, dropping his backpack by the door. "Kurt?" he tried as he walked into the family room. Kurt had refused to talk to him all day, but Finn was determined to keep trying. Finn wandered into the kitchen and stopped short, his mouth open.
Burt closed the refrigerator door, and set several plastic boxes on the counter. The two looked at each other for a long moment, before the older man cleared his throat.
"Your mom'll be down in a minute. Kurt's over at Tina's," Burt said briskly, busying himself with opening the boxes and pulling plates from the cupboard.
"I'm sorry," Finn blurted out. Burt set the plates down slowly, not looking up until they were firmly on the small island's surface. Finn swallowed. "I won't use that word again, ever."
Burt braced his hands on the edge of the island, "It's not just the word, son."
"I know," Finn hurried to answer.
"Kurt has to deal with a whole lot more than anyone else does out there." Burt pointed out the window for emphasis. "He shouldn't have to deal with it in here." Finn nodded.
"He's all I have," Burt explained further, eyes boring into Finn's. "Just like you're all your mother has."
"Kurt's special," Finn said, understanding that Burt would do anything for his son.
"He is."
"I'm really sorry." Finn stood there awkwardly, not knowing what else to say.
Burt sighed, "I know you are." Standing up straight, the older man began dishing out the various foods from the boxes onto the plates. "You hungry?" he asked kindly. Finn nodded and took the plate Burt offered. The two worked silently for a few moments; Burt continuing to dish up food and Finn heating up the plates in the microwave. They sat down with their plates, setting a third between them for when Carole came down.
"Finn," Burt started as he picked up his fork. The younger man looked up, meeting piercing, serious eyes. "So are you. Special, I mean. Don't ever forget that."
...
"Kurt," Finn prefaced as the Glee kids filed out of the choir room. The shorter teen turned his attention from Mercedes, who gave Finn a warning glare before squeezing Kurt's arm and catching up with Tina. As the last of the teenagers left the room, the two boys resumed their exit and headed down the hall toward the parking lot.
"You look ridiculous," Kurt stated smugly just as the taller teen stumbled on his red dress. Kurt reached out a steadying hand, which Finn took gratefully as he attempted to right himself. "But thank you, for making the effort," Kurt added, his tone softer.
Finn quirked a smile and didn't shake off the other boy's hand, but Kurt seemed to have noticed and pulled his arm quickly away from Finn's grasp. He started walking again, and Finn fell into step next to him. They stepped through the doors and out into the sunlight. Quinn, Santana, and Brittany, in their sparkling outfits, were already at the other end of the parking lot.
"I'm sorry, about the other night," Finn finally said as they neared Kurt's car. The taller teenager watched Kurt cross in front of the vehicle and stop by the driver's door. He waited by the passenger side. Kurt let out a sigh and his stony expression morphed into something else, something Finn hadn't seen before.
"I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable," Kurt let out, not looking at Finn. Despite only seeing Kurt's profile, Finn could now see the sadness and uncertainty. He didn't like seeing those things in Kurt, had gotten used to the other teenager's biting quips and confident attitude. Finn took a deep breath.
"You liked me before," Finn said, not unkindly. Kurt looked at him, eyes wide.
"Yes," he confirmed a moment later, no evidence of anger in his tone. Finn was grateful for the car between them, not because it was a barrier, but because it felt like it was supporting the conversation with its steel frame and black panels.
"And now?"
Kurt smirked before answering, a hint of his old self returning, "you're too much of a boy." Finn feigned a hurt expression, eliciting a chuckle from the other boy. The tension lessened after that, and Kurt clicked the car locks. They got into the car.
"I eat too much?" Finn suggested as they settled into the car. Kurt spared him a sideways glance as he started the car.
"More the 24/7 need for all things sports."
"Ah."
"And the fact you leave your underwear for everyone to find," Kurt added as he scrunched his nose a little in distaste.
"Hey!" The smile Kurt gifted Finn was enough to break through his not-quite-outrage. "Ha ha," Finn added playfully. Kurt put the car into gear and backed out of the parking space, smirk firmly in place.
The short car ride home was spent in comfortable silence. Kurt pulled the car into the driveway and cut the engine. But before Finn could push the door open, Kurt spoke up.
"Are you okay with this?" Kurt asked quietly. Finn looked at the other boy, saw Kurt's too bright and scared eyes.
"With our parents? I guess. I know you wanted to break them up and we-," Finn trailed off when Kurt shook his head.
"I'm happy when my Dad is happy."
"Okay," Finn replied slowly, confusion evident. He waited for Kurt to continue. Kurt's gaze faltered after a moment.
"Are you okay with me?" came the timid question, and Finn was certain he'd never heard Kurt sound more unsure. Kurt gripped the steering wheel in the silence following the question. Finn inhaled slowly, trying to find the right words.
"Kurt, I honestly have no problem with you being gay." Finn continued when Kurt eyed him speculatively, "I just, I don't know how to act around you sometimes." Kurt looked at his hands, letting them slowly loosen their grip. He sighed after another moment, and looked at the other teenager.
"Can't you act like you would with any other guy?"
"Can I?" Finn asked, honestly curious. Kurt smirked, eliciting a quirk of Finn's lips into a smile. And just as quickly as the conversation had turned serious, the tension disappeared. "What?"
"It's not like you don't most of the time anyway." Finn puzzled over the other boy's words. Kurt waved his hand vaguely and chuckled. "Hello? Dirty laundry, sports? What did we just talk about?"
Finn smiled widely at Kurt, reveling in the return of the other boy's attitude, and said, "Okay. You just be sure to tell me when I'm acting too much like a guy."
"I'll be sure to tell you all your faults," Kurt teased, getting out of the car.
"Hey!" Finn feigned offense as he had done before, as he too got out of the car. "Whatever, dude," he added, following closely behind the other teenager.
"Don't call me 'dude'," Kurt shot back over his shoulder with a smirk, as Finn yet again tripped on his red dress.
...
(end)